by Aria Ford
I knew she was only kissing me to distract me from my fears and concerns. When she laid me down and climbed on top of me, I tried to stop things. She was only doing this to make me feel better. That was all. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to pull away from her. The deeper she kissed me, the harder I fell. Soon I couldn’t remember what I’d been upset about in the first place.
Jacqueline’s body pressed against mine, and her lips worked furiously. She kissed me again and again, sliding her tongue in my mouth with ease. I groaned and held her tightly, running my hands over her hips. As I grew hard in my pants, I couldn’t resist her for another second. I rolled her over onto her back and pinned her down, attacking her neck with my tongue.
I kissed, licked, and nibbled the sensitive skin on her neck. She writhed beneath me, wrapping her legs around my waist and thrusting her hips upward. When I moved to slide my hand under her shirt, I lost myself in the feel of her naked skin. All thoughts of dinner flew freely from my mind.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Jacqueline
Ryan’s hands explored the skin on my stomach. He trailed his fingertips up, stopping just beneath my bra. Our kiss was deep and slow, passionate, without our usual sense of urgency. As Ryan sat up, pulling me with him, he slowly lifted my shirt over my head and discarded it on the floor. His eyes roamed from my face to my chest, then back again. He removed my glasses and kissed each of my eyelids before he slid his hand around my back to unhook my bra.
When my breasts fell free, Ryan didn’t touch them right away. His eyes devoured the sight of me, moving from one breast to the other, then down my stomach and back up to my face. When he kissed me again, it was delicate and gentle. He’d never kissed me that way before. There was passion and desire, like always, but also something else. I felt like he wasn’t kissing me just for the moment, but that he was kissing me to remember it.
My heart swelled as he kissed me deeper. His mouth moved down my chin to my throat. I tilted my head back, giving him more access while he worked his way down to my breasts. He didn’t suck or bite me like he usually did. Instead, he kissed me tenderly, rubbing my mounds between his hands delicately. Just his soft, gentle motions were enough to form a tidal wave between my legs. By the time he removed my jeans, I was sopping wet.
Ryan kissed my stomach softly, sliding his tongue over my skin. His able hands massaged my thighs before sliding up to remove my panties. I could feel my wetness break free instantly. When Ryan’s fingers found my folds, I sighed and arched my back. He was taking his time with me, and it was more than I could handle.
As he kissed lower, he slid a finger inside me, teasing me slowly. His tongue slid over my clit, and I gasped, reaching for his head and rubbing my hands over his short hair. Just like everything else, his tongue moved slowly while his finger worked inside me. With this pace, I wouldn’t reach my climax for a long time, but I didn’t care. The way he was exploring my body felt incredible. I never wanted him to stop.
He continued to taste me, bringing me closer to pleasure with each stroke of his tongue. I moaned and panted, writhing beneath him. My desperation grew with each passing second. I needed to feel him inside of me. I couldn’t stand the suspense any longer.
“Take me,” I begged. “Ryan, please.”
“Not yet,” he whispered against me. “Not yet, baby.”
I groaned and he picked up the pace just a bit. The slight change was enough to make my body tremble. My legs were shaking around his head, and he used his free hand to stroke the skin on my thighs to relax me. It didn’t work. If anything, it only drove my desires further. I raised my hips, pushing myself harder against his tongue. He licked me softly, still content with torturing me.
Finally, when I was just about to finish, he pulled away and stood up. I laid there, watching him with wide eyes as he removed his clothes.
Even then he moved slowly. He took his shirt off like it was a striptease for me. His muscles revealed themselves one by one, and I was desperate to feel them. I wanted nothing more than to bite down on his biceps while he took me however he pleased.
He slid his pants off, stepped out of them, and crawled onto the bed. My eyes locked on his cock. It was hard and pointing straight at me. I reached down to stroke him, wrapping both hands around him and watching while he eyes flickered closed with pleasure. I was barely touching him, torturing him the same way he’d tortured me, but it was enough to awaken him.
He finally found my nipples with his teeth, pulling them eagerly. I moaned and stroked him faster, feeling drops of precum on his tip. The feeling made me groan and wiggle.
“Now,” I begged.
Ryan kissed my lips desperately, his tongue finding mine with urgency. His determination to move slowly seemed to weaken the longer we kissed. He positioned his erection at my entrance, rolling his hips back and forth, but never sliding inside. It was torture and almost drove me insane. I couldn’t stand it.
“Stop teasing me,” I said.
With that, Ryan threw himself forward, burying his cock deep inside me. I gasped and arched upward, grabbing on to him tightly. At first he didn’t move. He just stayed deep inside me, letting me adjust to his size and intensity. Finally, I moved my hips to let him know I was ready. He stayed still for a second longer before he thrusted slowly. He stayed inside me most of the time, barely moving back and forth. I could tell from his face that he wanted to be close to me, to feel every inch of me.
His movements were deep and hard, making me rock with waves of slowly releasing pleasure. In no time, he was panting and sweat was dripping from my forehead. Even moving slowly, he could set my entire body on fire.
Ryan wrapped his arms around my back and lifted us both up. He slowly sat down on the bed, still inside of me. I sat on top of him, my legs wrapped around his waist and my arms hanging on to his shoulders.
With our eyes locked on each other and our lips just inches away from touching, Ryan thrusted upward. This new position was enough to bring me immediately to the brink. As he moved up, I moved down. My moans and gasps were soft, but full of pleasure. Ryan’s grunts were music to my ears. Every time a sound escaped his lips, I wanted to hear it again.
We moved faster, still holding each other tightly. As Ryan threw his hips up, slamming into me again and again, I arched my back and let my body take over. I moved faster and harder than I ever had in life, riding him with abandon. He met my movements with enthusiasm. It wasn’t long before I was crying out his name.
“Don’t stop,” I begged. “Oh god, Ryan, I’m so close.”
When I came, it was violent and incredible. The pleasure lingered in my body for minutes after, while Ryan continued to seek his own. He took me at his own pace, panting and grunting freely. When he finally released, I felt his cock throb inside me, sending waves of continued ecstasy shooting through me.
We held each other after, neither wanting to let go of the other. I didn’t feel like I had the strength to move, and when I did, I collapsed backward onto the bed, still feeling the after effects of my orgasm.
When we both came down, the waves of pleasure finally leaving our bodies, I rolled to my side. I was exhausted and ready to fall asleep. Ryan laid behind me, wrapping his arm around my naked body and placing soft kisses along the back of my neck. I giggled and grabbed onto his arm. His kisses didn’t stop until we were both too tired to move anymore.
I laid still, Ryan’s arms wrapped protectively around me. His face was tucked in my curls, and I could feel his breathing finally become steady. As I stroked his arm, we both moved closer to sleep. My eyes drooped, closing slowly. Just as I was about to drift off to sleep, I heard Ryan stir behind me.
His arms tightened around my waist, pulling me backward. I grinned to myself as he nuzzled into me. The way he held me told me just how much he needed me, how much he cared about me. I felt safe, and I never wanted this moment to end.
“I love you,” Ryan whispered, half-asleep.
My entire body froze at his words,
but he didn’t seem to notice. In seconds, he was snoring. I wondered if he even realized what he said, or if it was just the mumblings of someone fast asleep.
My heart was racing, but I didn’t know what to do. Part of me thought I should answer, say something back. A bigger part told me to stay silent, that he may not even remember this moment in the morning.
As I finally drifted off to sleep, it was with a nervous joy spreading through my stomach. Hearing Ryan say those words meant everything to me, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about him yet. In the two weeks we’d spent together, my feelings for him deepened. I didn’t doubt how much I wanted him or how much I cared about him, but I worried that wasn’t enough. I’d never been in love before, not really. How was I supposed to know if this was love?
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Ryan
We pulled up to the Keetons’ house, and I cut the engine. Suddenly Jacqueline and I were thrown into a deafening silence that overwhelmed me. I managed to distract myself the entire drive down.
Jacqueline and I talked about everything: the sex last night, her clinic, my career aspirations, everything. She never let silence fall, knowing I needed the comfort of her voice to keep me driving. As we sat in the driveway, all that comfort disappeared, and I was left trembling with fear.
“You can do this,” Jacqueline said softly, leaning over to kiss my cheek.
I looked at her. She was smiling an encouraging smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. There was something else hidden there, something she didn’t want me to see. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought she was just as afraid as me.
That didn’t make sense, though. This was her parents’ house. If anything, this was the place where she could truly relax and be herself. Me? This place was a living reminder of the worst time in my life.
“I don’t know if I can,” I admitted.
“Hey,” she said, taking my face between her hands. “I’m right here. Everything will be fine.”
She kissed me swiftly, pulling away a split second after our lips touched. With a glance at the house, she coughed nervously. I knew she was afraid someone might see us, but there was no one in sight. We sat in the truck for a few more minutes while I worked up the nerve to get out. To her credit, Jacqueline never once rushed me. She simply sat beside me, waiting until I was ready.
When Bradley’s car pulled up behind us, we both jumped in our seats. Twisting around, we saw him climb out of the car and walk over to us. He stopped beside my window and tapped on it impatiently.
“What are you doing?” he asked when I rolled down the window.
“Just,” I began, but I didn’t know what to say.
“He needs a minute,” Jacqueline explained.
“Come on,” Bradley said. He opened my door without hesitation. “Rip off the Band-Aid, man.”
I sighed and finally unbuckled my seatbelt. Bradley was right. Sitting here wasn’t doing anything but making my nerves worse. The longer I dwelled on what could happen, the worse things would be. I just needed to get inside and get this entire night over with.
“We’re here for you,” Jacqueline reminded me softly as the three of us walked to the front door. “Both of us. We have your back, right Bradley?”
“Of course,” Bradley said, his hand on the doorknob. “You ready?”
“No,” I said.
Bradley smiled and twisted the knob, stepping inside without knocking.
“Hello!” he called. “We’re here!”
“Oh!” a voice cried out from the kitchen. I recognized it immediately. When she came running around the corner, my heart stopped. “You’re here!”
Mrs. Keeton hugged both Bradley and Jacqueline, her eyes traveling briefly over my face. When she looked at me, I could tell she was nervous too. I tried to speak, but my throat felt tight. Instead, I just stood awkwardly between Bradley and Jacqueline.
“Hi, Mom,” Jacqueline said, glancing at me pointedly.
“I’m so glad you could make it!” Mrs. Keeton gushed. She looked at me and added, “All of you.”
“Thank you for inviting me,” I mumbled.
She smiled and led the way into the kitchen. Mr. Keeton was standing over the stove. He stopped cooking long enough to shake Bradley’s hand and hug Jacqueline. He turned to me and stared for a few second, not bothering to be discreet.
“Ryan,” he finally said. “You came.”
“I did.”
“Well,” he said. “Dinner’s about ready. Why don’t you kids go ahead and sit down?”
“Sure,” Bradley said. He slapped me on the back, and we walked over to the table.
“Not so bad,” Jacqueline whispered.
“I think it’s going well,” Bradley added.
“Are you going to keep up a running commentary all night?” I asked.
“Just here for you, man,” Bradley said.
I managed and smile and sunk into a chair.
Being back in this house felt more than strange. Bradley, Jacqueline, and I all moved automatically to the seats that used to be ours. These were the same seats we sat in every night while I lived here. I looked around, taking in the pictures on the walls and the décor around us. Mrs. Keeton hadn’t changed much, but the pictures were new.
Bradley smiled out from behind the glass, wearing his navy uniform. In a couple, he wore his graduation cap and gown. I smiled as my eyes fell on the photos of Jacqueline’s graduation. She looked young, beautiful, and excited. I found myself wishing I’d been there.
The only thing missing were pictures of me. When I lived here, Mrs. Keeton made sure to keep photos of me spread throughout the house. It always made me feel special, like I was a true member of the family. Now I was nowhere to be found. Not a single picture of me hung on the wall. I wondered if they’d thrown them all away or hid them in a box somewhere, buried deep beneath a bed.
Dinner began and the conversation moved along easily. Mr. Keeton raved about Bradley and how well he was doing here. Mrs. Keeton asked Jacqueline pointed questions about the clinic and her love life. It was a typical family dinner, and, at times, they even included me in the conversation.
“So,” Mr. Keeton said. “Ryan, what are you doing in Richmond? For work, I mean.”
“Nothing right now,” I admitted. “I’ve just been adjusting to civilian life.”
“And you can afford that?” he asked.
I swallowed hard. “Yes, I have quite a bit saved up from my time in the navy.”
“Ryan was insane about saving,” Bradley said, laughing. “The rest of us were out blowing everything on booze while he pinched every penny.”
“That’s smart,” Mrs. Keeton said.
“I’ll be okay for a while longer,” I said. “I’m thinking about working as a mechanic. I’ve always loved cars.”
“With your military experience?” Mr. Keeton asked. “Don’t you think you could get something better?”
“Probably,” I admitted. “But it would make me happy and—”
“I see,” Mr. Keeton interrupted.
He exchanged a meaningful look with his wife. My stomach clenched painfully, and I looked to Jacqueline for support. She nodded encouragingly to tell me I was doing fine.
“Listen,” I said softly. “I know it’s been a long time since we were all in the same place. Years. But I just wanted to say I’m really glad you invited me over tonight. I know things aren’t the same, but it’s nice to see you again. No matter what happened in the past, I really am happy to be here.”
When I finished talking, my hands were shaking in my lap. I looked from Jacqueline to Bradley to see that they were both smiling. It seemed they thought my speech was good. Their parents, on the other hand, looked more uncomfortable than ever. I wanted patiently for them to speak.
“If you would just apologize for what you did,” Mrs. Keeton said with an edge in her voice. “Then we could forgive you. That’s all we’ve ever wanted, for you to finally admit what you did and apologize.”
The room froze. Both Jacqueline and Bradley stared at their mother in shock. Neither of them could believe what she just said. I wasn’t surprised. This is exactly what I’d been expecting and exactly why I didn’t want to come.
“Apologize?” I asked weakly. “You want me to apologize?”
“You don’t think you should?” Mr. Keeton scoffed. “Clearly, you haven’t changed.”
“You abandoned me!” I snapped. “You took me in, told me I was family, and then you just threw me to the wolves!”
“You deserved it!” Mr. Keeton yelled. “Don’t sit here and blame us for your screw-ups, Ryan. We did everything for you! We gave you a chance, and you threw it back in our faces. How dare you insinuate that this is our fault!”
“You kicked me out,” I reminded him. “Remember? Tell me, if Bradley screwed up, would you have kicked him out? If he did exactly what I did, what would you have done?”
“That’s not the point,” Mr. Keeton argued evasively.
“It is the point,” I snapped. “You said I was your son, but you didn’t treat me like one. I made a mistake, and you just gave up one me. That’s not what parents are supposed to do.”
“Enough,” Mrs. Keeton said, glaring at me from across the table. “You’re still just as ungrateful as ever. We loved you! We cared for you! And you did nothing to repay us.”
“You threw me out!” I screamed.
I couldn’t believe they were acting like this was my fault. They sat there on their high horses, looking down on me like something nasty they stepped in. In that moment, I never hated them more.
“Stop,” Jacqueline said loudly. “Just stop it. This is not why we came here tonight.”
“He shouldn’t have come,” Mr. Keeton said. “He was only invited because your brother insisted we try.”
With that, I was done. I leapt up from the table and stormed out of the room.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Jacqueline
I watched Ryan storm out of the room with rage boiling in my veins. Part of me wanted to go after him, but I knew I was needed here more. My parents didn’t know anything. They didn’t know the truth about what happened on that night nine years ago.
