***
It was hard to keep myself away from Splinter, especially when he didn’t know why I needed to keep myself as far away from him as possible. I wanted to keep him safe, and the only way to do that was to stay away. I hated it. So when I told my therapist what happened, she was excited. But when I told her what I had planned, she wasn’t so happy anymore.
“Bea, don’t you think you’re only ruining your happiness?”
“No. He’s in danger if he stays with me. He’ll give up his dreams and he’ll die because of me. I can’t watch him go into the ground in a casket like everyone else I’ve loved.”
When I began to cry and was unable to be consoled, she didn’t say another word. I knew what I had to do. When I got home, I saw I had letters from Lia, and one from Professor Long. I couldn’t deal with the madness that the two of them brought me. Lia was desperate to talk to me, and Professor Long was demanding I become his plaything for life. Neither seemed appealing.
As soon as I sat down, I picked up the phone to call Splinter. He was happy to hear from me, but all I could do was cry.
“Why are you crying, Bea?” he asked in a worried tone.
“I don’t want to lose you,” I told him in between hiccups.
“You’re not going to lose me. What are you talking about?”
I only cried more. How could he not know? He had seen me go through all the loss. How could he not know what I was talking about?
“I’m a danger magnet. I attract danger, and I will lose you if I stay with you.”
“Bea, let me come over. Please, we can get through this.”
“No, we can’t. I can’t risk your life because…”
“Because of what?”
“Splinter, you should forget about me and go do that thing you do.”
“Please don’t do this, Bea. You don’t realize what you’re giving up.”
I laughed. “I know what I’m giving up. Do you realize what you will be giving up if you choose me over your dream?” Silence fell upon us. He knew what he would be giving up. We both did. What neither of us knew was whether it would be worth giving up or not.
“Live your dreams and don’t you dare regret the moment you realize you are happier there than you are when you’re with me.”
“I’m not going to let you give up so easily.”
“Splinter, I’ve given up. So should you.” I hung up the phone, and the sadness that washed over me was so intense I had to rush to the bathroom and vomit. I became so weak; I rested my head over the toilet and cried as I realized what I had given up. I lay in bed for days, unsure of what to do next.
When Ben came over, he told me, “Splinter left to go look for another job. He might accept the best offer yet. I’m not sure. Heck, I don’t think he’s sure either.”
I didn’t look at him, and he sighed. “Bea.” His voice held the sound of worry.
“What is it, Ben?” I asked.
“Are you okay?”
I let myself cry. I hadn’t gotten out of bed even though he had come to see me. My hair was matted and greasy, and I probably smelled pretty horrible, but I couldn’t be bothered to move. Ben wrapped his arms around me and picked me up before turning on the shower faucet and forcing me into the shower with the warm water running over me.
“You are going to fight, dammit. I’m not going to let you disappear,” he told me as I cried. I sat in the bottom of the shower while he washed my hair, and he demanded I wash up the rest of myself. He decided it was time I was committed into a psychiatric facility. I did what he told me to do for the first time since I was five. When I was wrapped up in my cozy robe and he ran a comb through my hair, I finally decided it was time to talk.
“I want to run again.”
Silently, he continued to comb through my dampened curls. “Why do you want to run this time?”
“Because I need a reason to keep fighting.” I pulled my knees up to my chest.
“Well, I know just the place for you. But I’ll only let you go on one condition.”
Rolling my eyes, I decided to play along. “What’s your one condition?”
“That you promise you’ll come back.”
When I realized he was serious, I waited for him to stop combing my hair before I hugged onto him and started to cry.
“I’ll come back. I promise.”
He tightened his arms around me and rocked back and forth like he did when I was little. He sang a song I couldn’t recognize but remembered him singing when I was a child. When I had been calmed to little hiccups and sniffles, he rested his arm around my shoulder protectively.
“I’ll call our grandmother in Scotland. I’m sure she’d love to have you,” he said after a moment of silence.
“We have a grandmother in Scotland?”
He smiled and nodded at me. “Our father’s mother. She never got the chance to meet you. So start packing. She’ll say yes in a heartbeat.”
I hugged him tightly and sighed, tears streaming down my face. “Thank you, Ben.”
“I knew you’d want to run again. I just need to know you’ll come back this time.”
“I promise you.”
“Make our real promise.”
A pregnant pause was pressed between us. We hadn’t used our little poem since I tried to die for him. If there was any better time to use it, it was now.
“From me to you, I’ll always be true. A promise I’ll make, one I’ll never break. Together or apart, you’ll always have my heart. One promise I ask of you, is that you always stay true, and to keep the faith. With this, you’ll be okay.”
CHAPTER NINE
While I was packing for my trip to Scotland I tried my best to ignore the incoming messages from Splinter, from Lia, and from Professor Long. Each wanted something different from me. Splinter wanted me to be fearless and unafraid; Professor Long wanted the opposite. I wasn’t sure what Lia wanted, but I tried to ignore her anyways. She had committed a great injustice against my family and me, and I found myself hoping she would soon pay the price. But as I sat alone in my apartment, I realized that maybe I should see what she wanted.
When I looked into it, all I saw was pure madness. She was all over the place. She wanted me; she needed me. She wanted to study me, to use me, to abuse me. I turned my phone off after reading the messages. Even then, they swirled around as reminders in my head. I couldn’t escape it, and when I heard a knock on the door, I was so startled I jumped in my seat and kicked a vase off the coffee table my feet had been on. I heard the shattering glass and decided to clean it up later. Whoever was knocking on my door knew I was here now.
“Might as well answer it,” I told myself. I walked up to the door carelessly, and not even taking the extra second to look through the peephole, I opened the door. My routine bit me in the ass. I was slammed into the doorjamb, and I couldn’t get a good look at the person.
When we heard people opening up their doors, he pressed the end of a gun into my abdomen from his coat pocket. “Say anything, and I shoot,” he said in a low growl.
“Bea, are you alright, dearie?” one of the older tenants asked me. My instincts were running at a million miles a second. Fight or flight was beginning to take over, but I couldn’t decide which would be better.
“Fine, I stumbled into the door. No biggie.” She giggled and went on her way. Once she was gone the person shut my door and pushed me in front of him while pressing the gun to my back.
“Don’t make any funny moves or I’ll make sure you never move again, Princess.”
I hated that name. But I couldn’t fight a person with a gun to my back. I was helpless as he put me in the car, blindfolded me, tied my wrists together with rope, and placed them in my lap. He buckled me up, and when the car began to move, I felt myself shaking with fear and adrenaline.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked him. I tried to keep the sound of fear from my voice, but at this point it was going to be hard to do that.
“I’m taking you to
a man who paid me a lot of good money to get you and take you to him.”
“Who do you work for?”
“The tabloids. Now shut up, girl. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will.”
I tried not to cry, but it was hard when I couldn’t see what was in front of me, nor did I know what was going to happen next. I was scared shitless, and I could easily admit that. But I wouldn’t let them see it. I knew where I was headed. I knew one man who would pay anything to have me. Professor Long.
***
The drive was smooth and long. We finally stopped and I was taken out of the car and into a building. The decaying and chemical smell in the air told me this wasn’t a good place to be. I was forced to sit down onto a hard wooden chair—God how cliché was this?—where my abductor tied the ropes to the arm and leg rests, and then a rope around my waist to the back to keep me extra secure.
“Where’s my money?” I heard my abductor ask.
“In the duffle bag. Take it and go. You know what you’ll be writing about next.”
The guy took the bag and ran with no hint at what he’d be writing next. While I was hoping it wasn’t what I thought it would be, I knew I was never lucky.
“Why have you left me for so long?” Professor Long asked me. I closed my eyes so I couldn’t see him. I didn’t want him near me, especially with his expensive cologne and aftershave permeating the air near me, making it hard to breathe. He seemed insulted as I turned away from his attempts to kiss me.
“Beatrice, if you don’t behave and listen, then I’ll be forced to do all the terrible things that I’ve dreamt of doing to you.”
“What do you plan on doing that you haven’t already done?” I asked him. He went into a far dark corner, and I began to look around. It was an empty mechanic’s garage. I had no idea what the significance of this place was, but it was eerie.
I didn’t want to stay here, but when Professor Long came out with his “plan” in his hands, I knew I’d never leave here. My ashes would be spread among the debris of this place…in his hands were gasoline as well as lighter fluid with a box of matches.
“Professor Long, please—” I wasn’t one to beg, but at this point it was time to swallow my pride and beg for my life.
“No, call me David. If we’re going to die together, we should be on a first name basis.”
“You’re a piece of shit! You know that?” I cried out as he began to create a trail of lighter fluid around the perimeter and stopped at my chair.
“Don’t do this! Don’t do this to me!” I begged.
I was in a position to beg. I didn’t want to die. Not like this. He poured me in gasoline, and I coughed up some as it tried to go down my throat. When I heard him light the first match, it failed to ignite. The next one broke, as did the three after that. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Every moment that went by made my heart beat faster knowing it may not be for much longer after this was done. I tried to imagine what it would be like to be burned alive, and it only made me feel weaker.
I couldn’t do this. I tried moving through the chair to loosen the ties. I had to get out of this. I had to survive. I couldn’t let him burn me to ashes. I wasn’t a phoenix. I wouldn’t be reborn among the flames. I would become nothing but dust, and I would remain that way for all of eternity.
Finally, a flame took to the match. He set it off in the farthest corner and doused himself in gasoline and began spraying the last of it in random places of the abandoned garage. I asked the Virgin Mary to pray for me. I said the Lord’s Prayer under my breath until I could smell the smoke. I said a few Hail Mary’s and prayed that something that I was raised to believe in would once be true. I wasn’t ready to meet my maker. I needed to continue to live. I wanted to go to Scotland and visit my grandmother. I wanted to do things. Damn, I wanted to do things still. I wanted to take back the things I had said to Splinter, and I needed to tell him I loved him. I had to do that. But as the smoke began to rise and the flames grew closer to me, I knew I wouldn’t get the chance to do those things. When I heard what sounded like a huge explosion, I screamed and allowed myself to cry. There was a lot of shouting and what sounded like a scuffle. Soon enough I heard a man screaming, burning alive, and smelled burning flesh for the first time. In a mask of smoke, someone came to me and cut me free, picked me up in their arms, and took me to safety.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I want my brother,” I told him as I broke down into tears.
“Don’t worry, we’ll get you to your brother.” I cried onto his safety vest, and I took comfort in a man who’d saved me from certain death.
***
“Don’t worry, Bea. You’re alright. You’re safe now.”
“How do you know my name?” I asked him.
“I have good informants.”
“What is your name?” I asked him.
“William.”
“Well, William, what now?”
“I call your brother after the medics check you out. My team will assess and arrest David Long, and they’ll take your statement.”
“Will you stay with me until my brother comes?”
“Of course.” I rested my tired head against his chest, and when I heard Professor Long shouting from the pain of his burns as well as the agony of losing the fight to win me over, a few silent tears streamed down my cheeks.
***
I had been given oxygen and a cooling blanket, and I had to pass a few preliminary examinations before I was taken to the emergency room. After I had given my statement, I was allowed to talk to the people who had saved me. They used the guy who kidnapped me as an insider. He was only in it to keep himself out of jail. As soon as he had the money, he told the police Professor Long’s plan. That’s when William came to the rescue. He notified my brother and told him, “We know where she is. We’re going to save her.” He walked through flames to cut me free and return me to safety. I never thought I’d enjoy being saved by someone. But as I sat quietly next to William, the closeness and unfamiliar feeling of safety filled me up to the point that I knew I’d let him save me every damn day if he let me.
“Bea! Bea! Are you okay?” Ben was stuck behind a barricade to keep the public out of the burning building. William allowed him to come back, and when he was let back, he rushed me with a hug, and I cried onto his shoulder.
“I’m so glad you’re okay. I’m so glad—”
“Shut up and hold me, dammit!” I shouted. He squeezed me so tight I thought I would break. I didn’t mind, because with him near me I knew I’d be safe.
“Thank you,” Ben said, “Officer…”
“Detective. It’s Detective Dugan.” His Scottish accent seemed to have the same effect on my brother that it did on me when I first heard it after my senses had returned to me.
“She needs to go to the hospital for a full examination,” Detective Dugan said. “She already gave her statement. She’ll be safe. Long will be in jail for a long time, and his burns will keep him from ever wanting to leave. He’ll also be losing his teaching license with the universities.”
Ben appeared pleased about this. I didn’t know how to feel.
“We’ll file a restraining order to be safe, but I think he won’t be coming for you anymore, Miss Morrison.”
“Bea, please call me Bea.”
He smiled, and my heart melted. “Sure. Take care, Bea.” He patted my shoulder and left me alone with Ben.
We rode in the ambulance to the hospital together, silence filling the space between us. After I had passed all of my examinations and tests in order to be released, Ben had asked a very stupid question after too much silence.
“Do you still want to go to Scotland?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “I want to be on the next flight out of here. What kind of question is that, Ben?”
He sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I can’t imagine the things you’ve been through.”
I shrugged as I let out a soft yawn. Everything I had
gone through was extremely tiring.
“Shit happens. We live, we die, we move on. I’m going to Scotland.”
“And you’re still coming back?”
“Yeah, I’ll come back. I’ll come back when I’m ready.”
I didn’t know when I’d be ready to return to this place. It seemed as if every turn I made created another problem for me to face. For once I wanted a smooth ride through life instead of this bumpy road crap. I didn’t care if it’d make me stronger. More times than not, it has nearly killed me. And that saying that goes, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” was a double-edged sword. Yes, it made you stronger. And oh, it made you wish you had died instead.
***
When we got home, Ben wanted to talk to Splinter. I begged him not to tell Splinter what had happened, but somehow the news had quickly spread and Splinter called me. I couldn’t help but answer. I wanted to hear his voice. Now that I knew I wasn’t going to burn alive, I had plenty of things I wanted to say.
“Bea, I’m coming to stay with you,” was the first thing he said to me, and of course it was the wrong thing to say.
“No, don’t come to me. I’m leaving.”
“What? Where are you going?”
“I’m going to Scotland.”
“Scotland? Why Scotland?”
“Because I have family there, and I need to run away for a bit.”
“Bea, please stay and we’ll figure things out.”
“I can’t figure things out right now. Not with you or with Ben trying to figure things out with me. I need to find myself again. I need to find something worth fighting for.”
Warning Signs (Broken Promises #2) Page 8
