by Mandy Bee
“Chris you are now a brother in our band, and Miss Flower you are welcomed in as a very beloved friend.” He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles, for one small second I heard nothing, I felt nothing but his lips on my skin. Then something hits my leg. Someone had thrown a soda on stage and it hit me! I just about jumped into Justin arms. “Okay that was uncalled for!” Justin snaps and kicks the can to the side of the stage. I jerk my hand away and turn to smile at the crowd, I wave as I walk off stage. I did it! I was nice even when I should have run away crying! I’m so proud of myself! Now I want out of here!
I find my bodyguard, a beast of a man named Tom. He looks like a WWF wrestler, but is sweet as a button to me. He walks me back to the bus and tells me goodnight before letting me know that he will be outside if I need him, what a sweetheart. I change as fast as I can, my leg is still wet from the soda that was thrown at me. I guess a female fan didn’t like it when Justin kissed my hand. My heart leaps when I think about it. I just shake my head and remind myself that we are friends and only friends, well maybe good friends, oh I don’t know.
I take my new MacBook Pro back into the back room. Justin helped me transfer all my music earlier when he helped me set it up. He didn’t like that I didn’t have any of his music on my iPod. When he asked why I was honest, I told him that I never had been a fan of his music. I think this hurt him for a minute but he shrugged it off, then downloaded all of their albums to my computer. I can’t promise that I’ll ever listen to them, but who knows maybe one day. I hit play and repeat on one of my favorite country playlist, then I start to pull out all of the cross stitching stuff I got from Hobby Lobby. I want to make a thank you gift for Justin’s mom, and I have the perfect pattern, one I hope she will love.
A little while later I hear the guys getting on the bus, all this laughter is new but so nice to hear. Maybe it was John that made everyone so tense. It’s like this is a new band, a happy band. I hear Chris calling my name and now it is my turn to laugh. I turn off my music and yell to him that I’m in the back room.
“Hey, you did great tonight!” He walks over and gives me a hug. “You working on a new project?” He looks at the screen then at the fabric in my hand.
“Yeah, it’s a thank you gift for Justin’s mom. I hope she likes it.”
“Whatever you make her, she will love.” Justin says walking past Chris and sitting down beside me, sitting very close beside me.
“I’m dead tired, I’ll see you in the morning. Please don’t stay up too late working on that.” Chris says while leaning over my computer and kissing my forehead.
“Okay, goodnight.” I say as he walks out and shuts the door. This shocks me, he left me alone with Justin?
“I’m so proud of you!” Justin says and puts his arm around me.
“To be honest I’m proud of me too. I could have run off crying when that soda hit me but I pulled myself together and walked off smiling and waving. I don’t know how I did it but at least I never have to do it again!” I giggle and start back on my work.
“Security saw who did it and threw the chick out, I don’t understand people like that.” He shakes his head like he is amazed.
“I do, the girl didn’t like that you kissed my hand. You have fans that would give their right arm to kiss you, all I had to do was follow my brother on tour.” I look up and smirk at him.
“You are something else baby girl.” He says and gives me a one arm hug. “Wanna go watch TV, our show is on.”
“Sorry, I really want to work on this. Please don’t be mad.” I give him my best puppy dog eyes making him laugh.
“No worries, can I hang out with you or do you want to be alone?”
“No you can stay, but I’m not great company once I get into a project.” This is true, Chris sometimes would have to shake me to get my attention. I block everything out but my music and my work.
“Turn your music back on, lets just relax.” I do as I’m told, for once. He keeps his arm around me but props his feet up on the table. He watches every little thing I do. To be honest, I’m not okay with it, this is making me nervous.
“Why isn’t there a TV back here?” I ask.
“Never needed one, this room didn’t get used that much till you came along.”
“I like it back here, I’m glad you don’t care that I use it.”
“Why would I care?” He asks while sitting up to look at me “Flower you are now apart of this band, which means this is your bus too.” I just stare at him, my bus too? Hmmm…..
“Okay then I want a TV put back here, that way I can work on my projects and you can watch our show with me.” I’m testing him.
“Fine, I’ll see to it, do you have a size in mind?” I should have known he would say yes.
“No, you can pick the size.” I giggle at him, I think he knew what I was up too. I shut my computer down and pack my project up. “Come on lets go watch TV.” I pull on his hand. But he stops me before I can stand up.
“I just need to tell you one more time how proud I am of you, you did so great tonight. Thank you.” He leans in and kisses my cheek. I know I must be ten shades of red but I just smile back at him.
We get up and head up front, I stop and grab my blanket on the way. When we get to the couch he sits down first then I sit to where I can lean back on him, I wrap my blanket around both of us. I know Chris would have a shit fit if he woke up and found us like this but I don’t care right now.
At one point, while watching TV, he wraps both of his arms around me. My head is resting on his shoulder, and I feel completely at peace with everything. I know at some point I fell asleep because the next thing I know someone is yanking me up and screaming my name.
“Flower what the hell?!” Justin screams.
“What?” I’m still groggy, but I look at the clock, its 4:30am.
“There is blood on your cheek, and on my shirt. What happened?” Justin is not screaming anymore, he is panicking. Chris is now up and standing behind him, great. I wipe my face with my hand and sure enough there is some blood mixed with phlegm, great.
“Flower did you take your meds last night?” Chris asks me while handing me some napkins.
“Yeah, after I got back on the bus, I think I did.” Did I? Crap I can’t remember.
“What meds? What is going on!?” Justin is freaking out.
“Calm down, she just needs to wash her face and then I need to check her lungs. Can you give us a minute, I promise we will tell you everything but I need to take care of her first.” Justin just nods and walks over to his bunk.
After cleaning up the blood and checking to see if I took my meds, which I did, I let Chris check my lungs. The doctors showed him how to listen to my lungs and what to listen for. He has been doing this for years now. He says I’m a little congested, this is not new either, it’s the sign of a chest cold starting. I’ll need to start my cough syrup routine and if I’m not better in a few days I’ll need an x-ray.
“We have to tell Justin, he really freaked out.” And he had every right too.
“Okay, I’ll go get him, you just stay.” Chris says, this is not good. I’ll be on ‘rest watch’ now. This is where I can’t do anything because he will want me to rest 24/7. They walk back up to me and Justin sits beside me and takes my hand.
“What the hell happened are you okay?” He asks, his voice gives him away, he’s scared.
“Justin, she has some health problems. She has had them all her life, this is not new to us, but she doesn’t like for a lot of people to know. Mike knows because him being the manager he needed too.” Chris looks at me, I guess its my turn to talk. I turn and look into Justin eyes, I see the worry there and it kills me.
“I’m so sorry I scared you. What happened tonight is not new to me, like Chris said I have been sick all my life. My lungs are not healthy. I have chronic bronchitis and cough variant asthma, the doctors give me meds that can help but these illnesses can’t be cured. I guess I coughed hard in my sleep, again n
ot new to me, and the blood and phlegm ended up on you and me. I’m really sorry.” I look at the floor, I can’t believe this is happening.
“Hey, it’s okay, it’s not your fault.” He puts an arm around me and holds me close. “What does she need? Do we need to call a doctor or something?” He asked Chris.
“No, I listened to her lungs, she is congested but not too bad. She has to start taking her cough syrup, and get plenty of rest. If she is no better in a few days I’ll take her somewhere to get an x-ray. I think this may be a small chest cold starting but she’ll be okay.”
“How do you know how to listen to her lungs? Are you sure we shouldn’t take her to the ER or something?” Justin is still holding me, it’s sweet how worried he is.
“No, she will be okay, I just need to watch her. Her doctors back home taught me what to listen for and told me what to do. Like I said none of this is new to us.”
“Okay, if you’re sure.” Justin says to Chris. “Do you need anything? Something to drink or eat?” He asks me, I can see now I’m going to have two worried boys watching me.
“I’m fine, but it’s late I think we all need to go to bed.” I start to stand up and they both jump up with me, I just roll my eyes at them.
“Flower, how did he get blood on his shirt?” Chris asks as if it just hit him. Oh this could be bad.
“Um, we were watching TV and I guess I fell asleep, I must have leaned back onto him.” I’m biting my lip.
“You leaned back onto him? You mean you two were cuddled up watching TV and y’all fell asleep together.” I glance up and Chris has his arms crossed and Justin is behind him trying not to laugh.
“That’s one way of looking at it, I guess.”
“Well lets just get you to bed. But I want a word with Justin.” He looks back at him.
“Please be nice, we were just watching TV.” I hug Chris and tell him goodnight and wave at Justin. Once I’m in my bunk I hold my breath trying to listen to what they are saying, but it couldn’t be too bad because I hear them laughing. With a sigh of relief I snuggle into my bed and drift off to sleep.
TODAY IS ANOTHER driving day, but I don’t care now that I have my back room. When I woke up I could feel the congestion in my chest. I was honest with Chris and he said we would get an x-ray tomorrow. He told me that he let Dave and Scott know about what was going on, and about my past health problems. I wasn’t really okay with this but there was really no reason to keep hiding it from them. Once I showered, ate and took my meds I grab my blanket and headed to the back room. When I opened the door I was shocked to see Justin in there.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll come back later.” I said and went to turn around.
“Wait, you don’t have to go. I was just working on a new song. If anyone should go it should be me.” He gets up and starts cleaning up some papers.
“If I promise to be quiet can we both stay?”
“Why would you need to be quiet?” He asks half laughing at me.
“You are working on a song, I don’t want to distract you.”
“It’s fine, please come in. Are you going to work on your cross stitching?”
“Yeah, that’s what I had planned…..” I walk in and shut the door, I toss my blanket on the end of the couch, but I just stand there.
“Flower, I don’t bite you should know this by now. Just sit down, you need to be resting anyways. Chris told me you weren’t any better today.”
“When did you talk to him?” I snap, I don’t want them talking about me behind my back! My health has always been something that was just between Chris and I. Having others know about it, and actually worry about me is still new and scary to me.
“While you were in the shower, I went up to get a drink and asked about you. Why are you getting upset?”
“Because I don’t want you two talking about me being sick behind my back! This is not something I let a lot of people know about and I never thought I would have to tell you so……just don’t talk behind my back! If you need to know something ask me!” I grunt and go sit in my corner of the couch. I know I shouldn’t be upset but I am. I’m upset and scared and I hate feeling this way.
“Okay calm down, I’m sorry.” He’s right beside me once again, usually I love this but right now I want to punch him.
“Whatever, I’m going to put my earbuds in and work on this project for your mom. Just go work on your song.” I’m trying to be nice but it is hard for me when I’m upset.
I stick my earbuds in and crank my music, I start stitching and before I know it I’ve lost myself in my work. When I look up I see that Justin is no longer in the room, when did he leave? I look at the clock, it’s a few minutes after two in the afternoon. I get up and stretch my back, I need to eat and take my cough syrup. I head up front but I can’t see anyone, then I notice we aren’t moving. I’m so use to living on a tour bus I can’t tell if we are moving or not anymore. I pull my phone out and call Chris.
“Where are you?” I ask after he answers.
“We are right outside, we stopped to eat and it was so nice out we decide to chill out here before having to head out again.”
“Okay, I came up front and couldn’t find anyone.” I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
“I tried to talk to you before we left but you were too into your work to even look up at me. Justin said you wouldn’t even talk to him while he was back there with you.”
“I had my earbuds in, I couldn’t hear anything but my music. Did you get me anything to eat or do I need to fix something?” I snap at him.
“Come on out I brought you a chicken salad.” He hangs up.
Jerk! I go and get my salad and bring it back on the bus. I don’t want to eat with them, I’m in a bad mood. I eat my lunch, take my cough syrup and head back to the back. I don’t even bother telling Chris I took my meds like I usually do when I’m sick. If he can be a butt so can I! I push my project away and don’t even open my computer. I curl up with my blanket and just lay there. I hate being sick, I hated having to tell Justin, and now I hate how much I wish he would come back here and be with me.
“Will you for once just listen to me!” Chris is screaming at me. The x-ray showed I have walking pneumonia, it came on fast but can be treated with some antibiotics. Chris wants me to stay on the bus while the show is going on. I want to go to the dressing rooms so I don’t have to be alone. Most of the time I would kill to be alone, but when I’m this sick I like to know someone is close by.
“I don’t want to be alone.” It came out almost as a whisper. He is not use to me begging to go with him. He flops down beside me, we are in the back room. Dave said he is going to get a sign that reads ‘Flower’s room’ and hang it on the door. I’m starting to like Dave, he is a nice guy.
“I don’t want you to get worse by over doing it, and it’s going to be cold tonight you don’t need the cold air in your lungs.”
“Please, I know everything you’re saying is true. And yes I should stay on the bus, but I don’t want to be alone, to be honest I’m kind of scared.” I can’t look at him, he just sighs and pats my leg.
“Let me see what I can do, just give me a few minutes.” He leaves but doesn’t shut the door all the way. The next thing I know Justin is busting through the door.
“You are not leaving this bus! Do you want to end up in the hospital?” He is almost growling at me.
“Oh, not you too!” I groan.
“I tried to stop him.” I hear Chris laughing from the door way.
“Look, let’s work out a plan. We can all stay on the bus until we absolutely have to leave, then we can get Tom or anyone you want to come sit with you. We will not hang around after the show, we will all come straight back here and we can take turns showering. Will that work?” He has kneeled in front of me, and I’m in awe of him right now. I have tears in my eyes and I’m getting all chocked up. I just nod at him while the tears start streaming down my face.
“Sis don’t cry, we�
��ll make it work.” Chris says standing behind Justin. “Want me to make you some tea with honey?” I shake my head yes and he leaves.
“Baby, please don’t cry, I promise it will be okay.” Justin says coming up to sit with me but pulls me onto his lap and rocks me. “Shhhh don’t cry, please, I’ll make sure you’re taken care of.” He whispers in my ear. I slowly stop crying but I cuddle closer to him, and he just tightens his arms around me. I don’t know how long we had been sitting there but when I open my eyes I see Chris in front of me holding my tea.
I guess I looked like I was panicking because he started smiling. “It’s okay.” He walks over and hands me the cup. I’m still on Justin’s lap and he is by no means trying to move me. “Drink this then rest, I’ll check on you later.” He kisses my forehead then once again leaves me with Justin. I’m puzzled by Chris’s behavior, is he really okay with all this? Even when I don’t know what all this is? I slid off of his lap and start to drink my tea. Without missing a beat he just wraps his arms around me and holds me close to him. Either I have found the greatest friend in the world or I’m starting to fall for Justin Crow.
The walking pneumonia only lasted a week this time. After that I thought the boys would stop fussing over me, I was wrong. It almost got worse, that was until I told them off one night. Chris and Justin both started in on me about how I need to get some sleep and I shouldn’t stay up too late. I let my temper fly and told them they both could fuck off. The next day everything calmed down some, they still fuss over me but not as bad.
We have been on tour with Freak Street for three months now, and it has been the best tour of my life! The greatest part is, this will be the only band I have to tour with ever again. Justin and I have become closer friends, nothing has really happened but we do spend a lot of time together in the back room. Dave was good to his word, he had a sign made that read ‘Flower’s Room’ and nailed it up on the door. Justin was also good to his word, there is now a 50inch TV mounted on the wall. After the shows we watch TV together. I still work on my cross stitching but when I’m done for the night I cuddle up with him and watch our show.
