by Moore, Lila
I bit my lip. He was big, thick and meaty.
I ran my hand up and down his long shaft. Theo groaned and pushed me down onto the bed. He pulled my underwear free and took a second to look at my body as he removed his pants.
The sight of Theo’s tall, strong body stretched out over me made me wet. I was breathing hard now. The anticipation was killing me. He positioned himself between my legs. I wrapped my arms around him and felt his back muscles tense beneath his skin.
Then he was inside me.
I arched my back and cried out as he filled me. We both let out a loud groan as he entered me.
A wall of tension broke inside me. My body swayed against his as we were drawn together and apart, again and again.
He moaned in my ear as I dragged my nails across his back. His fingers twisted around my hair. I turned away from him, forcing him to pull my hair. The pain sent a jolt of energy up my spine.
I cried out. Liquid heat shot through my body with a burst of energy.
As quickly as it had all started, it was over.
Theo laid on top of me breathing heavily. Our bodies were pressed together, warm and tight. I felt completely drained. It was euphoric. It felt like a physical presence had been lifted off me. The tension and stress of these last months fled with the orgasm that had consumed my body.
Theo pulled out of me slowly, sending a shiver up my spine. He kissed me deeply before rolling off of me.
The room was hot. The proximity of our bodies made me sweat. As much as I loved the feeling of his body on top of mine, I was grateful for the space. It gave me room to cool down.
“Sabine…?”
Please, don’t say something to ruin the moment, I silently prayed.
“Yeah?”
“We should have done this sooner.”
Laughter spilled out of me, rich and full. I couldn’t stop. It was like someone was tickling me.
“Why is that so funny?” Theo asked, looking mildly bemused.
“I don’t know,” I said, wiping a tear from my eye.
Theo stared down at me. His striking blue eyes had a way of staring through me that left me feeling weak in the knees. He ran a hand over his face and through his dark hair. I pushed myself up on my elbow and leaned over and kissed him. He was lying on the side of the bed Tom used to sleep on. A few days ago, I never would have imagined being okay with another man taking Tom’s spot on the bed; but now it felt right, if not fitting.
The man I was married to was a figment of my imagination. I never knew the real Tom. The weight of this understanding hit me like a physical blow. I fell back onto the bed beside Theo. Thoughts of Tom soured the moment. I stopped laughing.
“What?” Theo asked.
I heard a sound from the living room. Aiden was a restless sleeper. He was out like a light one minute, then wide awake the next. The last thing I needed was for him to find us in bed together. I was not up for explaining the birds and the bees to him today. I had too much on my plate as it was.
“You better get dressed,” I said. “Aiden will be up soon. I don’t want him to get confused about us.”
“Kicking me out so soon?”
He smiled as if he was making a joke, but there was an edge to his voice, like I’d hurt his feelings. I felt guilty, but not guilty enough to ask him to stay. I needed to talk to Maddie. I shouldn’t have kicked her out so quickly. If she knew anything about what Tom was up to before his death, then it was important I talk to her immediately. No matter how dirty the rumors were I wanted the whole truth. It was the only way I’d ever find closure.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m just worried about Aiden finding us together.”
Absently, Theo nodded. He was staring past me, looking out the window. I followed his gaze. The art room was clearly visible from my window, along with the scattered, destroyed paintings.
I cleared my throat and started to pull on my clothes. To his credit, Theo didn’t say anything. He dressed then helped me put on my shoes. We walked into the living room to find Aiden playing with his toys on the couch. He only glanced at us as we entered. Thankfully, he wasn’t curious about what we were doing in my bedroom.
“Thanks for bringing Aiden home,” I said.
“No problem. I’ll see you, Aiden.”
“Later, Theo,” he replied, sounding much older than his five years.
I followed Theo to the door.
“Maybe we can get together later, or…?”
I nodded my head. “Yeah. If I can find a babysitter.”
“You can always leave him with the nanny at the Devereauxes’. She’s smart and responsible. The kids are safe with her.”
I didn’t want Aiden going back to the Devereauxes’ house again, but I didn’t feel like explaining my suspicions to Theo. Instead I said, “Maybe.”
Theo didn’t seem satisfied with my response.
“I’ll see you later,” I said quickly, before he could pry into my sudden change in mood.
He leaned in and kissed me. His lips were soft on mine. I wanted to kiss him longer, but I didn’t want Aiden to see. Besides, my suspicions about Theo’s motives were slowly returning. Just because we’d slept together didn’t erase any of my doubts about him.
I stepped back and cleared my throat. My body still hummed with the afterglow of sex. A part of me wanted to take him back into my bedroom for a second round. The more sensible part of me said once was enough.
“I’ll see you later,” I said.
“Later,” Theo replied sounding like Aiden.
Aiden must have been mimicking Theo. He’d latched on to Theo quickly. It was good for him to have a man in his life to look up to, but how long would it last? Theo might not be around for long, especially if Mrs. Devereaux continued to act crazy.
I closed the door on Theo and turned to Aiden.
“Let’s have lunch. Then we’re going to see your Aunt Maddie.”
17
While watching Aiden wolf down a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I tried to question him about his time at the Devereauxes’, but found nothing of value.
“Does Mr. Devereaux ever talk to you?” I asked.
“No.”
“Does Mrs. Devereaux?”
“No.”
According to him, Mr. and Mrs. Devereaux weren’t home; Bella seemed to think her parents’ absence was totally normal; Theo didn’t say anything to him about me or anything relevant.
I was both relieved and disappointed. I didn’t want Aiden being dragged into the middle of this, but I was hoping he might have seen or heard something that could prove useful.
Once he’d finished, I led him into the bathroom and got him cleaned up.
“How would you like to go hangout with Aunt Maddie?” I asked.
“Who’s Aunt Maddie?”
Had it really been that long since they’d seen each other? Apparently. Aiden didn’t remember her at all.
“You’ll see,” I said.
I was reaching for my cell phone when it started to ring. I answered it without checking the caller ID.
“Hello?”
“Well, hello yourself.”
Shit. It was Mr. Devereaux. Why was he calling me?
“You answered on the first ring. Have you been waiting for me to call?”
“No. I can promise you that I have not,” I replied.
“Ouch. You’re breaking my heart,” he said with a laugh.
“Can I help you with something?”
“I’m just calling to make sure you’re ready for our date tonight.”
“Date?”
Then I remembered. I’d agreed to go out with him. I’d only said yes because I wanted him to leave me alone.
“I promised to take you out for a night on the town, remember?”
“Yeah, sorry. I can’t tonight. I have a family emergency.”
The lie sounded clumsy. If Mr. Devereaux noticed, he didn’t say anything.
“That’s too bad.”
“It is,” I agreed.
“If you’ll excuse me, I really have to go.”
I started to hang up, but his words stopped me dead in my tracks.
“You’re keeping your date with me tonight whether you like it or not. I don’t care what’s going on in your family. I’ve tried to play nice with you, but you’ve gone out of your way to be a bitch.”
“Excuse me-”
“No, let me finish. I know you’ve been sniffing around that old bitch’s house, the one who lives by the bridge. Your husband’s body washed up in her backyard and you’re trying to make friends with her. Unbelievable. Did it ever occur to you that she’s the one responsible for his death?”
My mouth fell open, but no words came out. I had no idea how to respond to Mr. Devereaux. He’d never spoken this harshly to me.
“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue? You think I don’t know what you’re doing? I know exactly what you’re up to.”
“I have no idea what-”
“Little Miss Innocent. Never done anything wrong in your life. Please.”
“I’m hanging up now.”
But I didn’t. I was weirdly hypnotized by his words. I wanted to know what he would say next.
“You’re not going to hang up, and do you know why? Because I know what you’re after. You want to know what happened to your husband and you think I know the truth, don’t you? You might be right, but you’ll never know unless you agree to meet me.”
I didn’t respond. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right.
“I take your silence to mean you agree? I’ll pick you up tonight at seven. Wear something sexy.”
The line went dead. I held the phone to my ear for a moment before setting it down. Did he really know something or was he trying to manipulate me into going on a date with him? Jillian said she saw Mr. Devereaux searching for something beneath the bridge after Tom’s disappearance. He knew something, but what?
With trembling hands I dialed Maddie’s phone number.
“Sabine! I didn’t think you’d call. I’m so happy you did.”
“Yeah, I, um, have a favor to ask.”
“Anything you need, you got it.”
“Well, two favors actually. The first is that I’d like to take you to lunch. The second is will you babysit Aiden tonight?”
“Of course- on both counts, but only if you let me treat you to lunch. I’m dying to hear about Theo.”
Mr. Devereaux had left me rattled. I wasn’t sure I was up for being interrogated by Maddie, but I needed to hear what she had to say about Tom.
“Yeah, okay,” I said.
18
Maddie and I sat at a picnic table eating the food we’d picked up from a local food truck. Aiden happily fled to the nearby jungle gym. I watched him play on the monkey bars while Maddie spoke. She was talking fast. I hardly picked up what she said. When she mentioned Theo my attention snapped back.
“So?” she said. “What does he look like beneath those clothes? I bet his body is amazing. You have to tell me everything and don’t leave out a single detail.”
I winced. It had been a long time since I’d had ‘girl talk’ like this. I felt too old for it.
“Well?” she said, egging me on.
“He’s amazing,” I replied.
“I knew it!”
“He definitely works out,” I said unenthusiastically. I didn’t want to discuss my sex life with Maddie.
“I bet he’s big too. Is he?”
Ignoring her question, I said: “Maddie, I invited you out to lunch because I have something important to ask you.”
I had her full attention now. She was dying to know what I had to say. I found it mildly irritating. She was only interested in the gossipy way busybodies are interested.
“You seem to have your finger on the pulse of this town.”
“Well, I try. It’s important to know what’s going on in your community,” she said, as if gossip was a matter of social consciousness.
“I’ve been wondering what you’ve heard about Tom. Specifically, what you heard before his death.”
Maddie stiffened. For once, she looked uncomfortable.
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea to relive all this, Sabine. You should just move on.”
“Part of moving on is understanding the past.”
“Some things are best left alone. Leave the past in the past.”
I was floored. She knew something. Why else would she be so evasive?
“Maddie, it’s important that I know what Tom was up to before his death.” I held my breath. “Was he seeing someone else?”
Maddie’s eyes were big and round. She looked around like she wanted to flee. I reached across the table and took her hand.
“Maddie, please. I need to know.”
“I don’t know. There were rumors, but I never believed them. I know how crazy Tom was about you.”
“What were the rumors?”
My voice was barely a whisper.
“This makes me really uncomfortable, Sabine. I don’t think we should be talking about this.”
You think it makes you uncomfortable? How do you think I feel? I wanted to scream, but I bit my tongue.
“I trust you to be honest with me.”
Not exactly true. But who else was I going to ask? I didn’t have many friends left these days.
“If you don’t tell me, I’ll find someone else. I may not be able to trust them, but I know I can trust you to be honest, right?”
“I heard Tom was fooling around with one of the moms at school.”
My mind raced through the faces of all the women I’d seen picking up kids. A few of them could have matched the face on the painting, but it was a stretch.
“Wait, that doesn’t make sense. Tom was cheating before Aiden started school.”
Maddie sighed dramatically. “Mrs. Devereaux! Okay? Are you happy? It was her. She sleeps with everyone in this town and your husband was no exception. Congratulations. Saint Tom was no different than any other cheating scumbag husband.”
I felt like I’d been sucker punched. I should have known. The way she’d drunkenly shown up at my front door and referred to Theo as Tom should have been a huge red flag.
Was she the woman Tom was talking to on the bridge? She had to be. It made sense. She fit the image of the woman in the painting. Now that I had a name to fit with the picture, I didn’t feel any better. I felt like something had been carved out of me. In its place was a void waiting to be filled with anger, sadness, or something darker.
“I’m sorry,” Maddie said. “I shouldn’t have said that about Tom. It’s just that since his death you’ve acted like he was the most perfect man in the world and that was far from reality. I humored you for a while because you were a grieving widow and what’s in the past is in the past, but it’s gotten out of hand. The man you’ve convinced yourself you were married to is not the man I knew. I know I shouldn’t be saying this, but it’s the truth.”
I stood up slowly. Maddie leaned back as if she was afraid I was going to hit her.
“Thank you for talking to me today,” I said. I tried to sound cool and in control. Instead I sounded robotic and spacy.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I forced a smile on my face. “I have to go now. Can you find a way home?”
“Yeah. I can walk. I don’t live far.”
“Good. Take Aiden with you.”
“Okay… when will you be by to pick him up?”
“Soon…”
I picked up my crutches and walked back to my car.
“Don’t you want to say goodbye to Aiden?” I heard Maddie call.
I pretended like I didn’t hear her. Aiden had the same eyes as his father. I couldn’t bear to look into them right now. Besides, I had to prepare for my date with Mr. Devereaux.
19
I curled my hair then pinned it up. Tom always liked it when I wore my hair this way. When he
took me out on dates I’d go out of my way to fix it perfectly. It took forever, but he loved it. I put on a full face of makeup and stared at myself in the mirror. I was met with the image of a woman I hadn’t seen in a long time. Deep red lips and smoky eyes, wild curls and a tight black dress; I hardly recognized myself. I looked ten years younger as long you ignored my eyes. My eyes were those of a woman twice my age. I’d experienced too much in too short amount of time. The grief in my green eyes startled me. Did other people see the pain in them? I hoped not.
I narrowed my eyes and tried to force a smile on my face. I watched myself in the mirror. The specter of a new woman emerged. I looked harder, devious and a bit seductive. Good. Mr. Devereaux would like that.
My doorbell rang. He was early. I took my crutches and went to the door. When I opened it, his mouth fell open. Whatever he’d been expecting, this wasn’t it. His eyes drifted down to my cleavage, then over my legs, then back up to my cleavage. He wasn’t subtle at all. I liked that. It would be easier to get what I wanted from him.
“Mr. Devereaux,” I said sweetly. “You’re early.”
“Please, call me James.”
“James,” I said with fake shyness.
A big smile spread across his face. It was good that he thought I was a shy, weak girl. He’d be easier to manipulate.
“Are you ready to go?” he asked.
“Yeah. Let me get my purse.”
I hobbled to my purse with exaggerated feebleness.
“Let me help you.”
Mr. Devereaux ran ahead of me. He returned with my handbag. He rested his hand on my hip as he slid my purse over my shoulder. His hand lingered, strong and firm. It took every fiber of my being not to slap it away.
I forced a smile on my face and tilted my head to the side while examining his face. He had deep lines around his eyes, his skin was splotchy with sun damage and I could see the gray roots where he’d dyed his hair. I once thought he was a handsome man, but up close he looked rough, not to mention older than his years.
The image of Theo’s face an inch away from mine as we made love flashed through my mind. A wave of warmth stirred inside me. I tried to suppress the shudder that threatened to rack my body. Only a few short hours ago, we’d been naked and in each other’s arms. My skin still tingled with the memory of his touch.
