He stalked toward the bed. She was right, of course. They should take this opportunity to talk about the past, the future, perhaps even the present. Instead, he moved to the bed, his hand reaching out to cup her cheek. Somehow knowing that she had willingly led him to her room changed everything. “I agree. There are several things I wish to know about you.”
She started a little at the sound of his voice. He knew it was rough with desire. The heat of their kiss coupled with the emotional turmoil that was unfamiliar to him had his pulse racing and he couldn’t hide it.
“What do you wish to know?” she squeaked out, her large eyes growing even rounder. She looked like a little mouse, his little mouse, and he was the cat that meant to catch her.
He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. It wouldn’t do to frighten her now. “I want to know what you taste like.”
Blinking in confusion, she assessed him. “But we’ve kissed already. I know that you taste like the sea, and your pipe, and cinnamon for some reason.”
He liked her description. Gently, he pushed her back until her head rested on her pillow. He followed her so that his body was perched above hers and kissed her several more times. “There is more than one place to kiss a woman.”
“Oh,” she breathed into his mouth. He was gathering her skirts and pushing them up above her waist. He said a little prayer of thanks she was dressing in simpler work clothes as he slid his hand up her pantaloons to find the slit in them.
“I won’t undress you this time. That will have to wait until we are less likely to get interrupted but I am going to show you my affection.” And then he let his fingers brush her delicate folds. They were already slick and ready for him and she cried into his mouth and bucked her hips at the pleasure of his touch.
He grinned against her mouth. He wasn’t even close to done with her. He continued to stroke her as he moved down her body. “I’m not always the best with words. You know that now. I say the wrong ones or I don’t say any at all.”
“It’s all right,” she started but when he dipped his head beneath her pile of skirts she stopped talking to gasp.
“There are not many parts of a relationship that I am good at, but this happens to be one of them, my beautiful little bird, and I intend for you to know it as you tally up my strengths and weaknesses.” And then he slid his thumb lower, close to her opening as he kissed her hard little nub.
She let out a low moan that sounded as though it was supposed to be a word, but came out wrong.
He grinned even as he increased the pressure and the tempo. Her hands, through all her skirts, managed to find his head and she pressed him closer as she moaned and twisted, her body tightening.
“James,” she finally managed to gasp out as she broke apart for him. He lightened the pressure but didn’t stop until he was sure she’d wrung every bit of pleasure from his touch. Only then did he raise his head to look at her over her mountain of skirts and petticoats.
She’d taken one of her arms and slung it over her eyes, her head twisted to the side.
“Ainsley,” he asked tentatively.
She didn’t reply, but he heard her breath catch and then catch again. Bloody hell, she was crying. He almost asked what was wrong. And, even though he needed to talk to her more, in this moment, he gathered her close and held her to him.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his neck. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. I—”
“Shh,” he softly shushed her. “You’ve seen me more vulnerable than anyone since my father. You can cry as much as you like and I’ll be here for you.”
“Really?” She picked her head up then, her tears drying. “Well that might be the sweetest thing you’ve said to me.”
He understood. What he’d done right and what he needed to keep doing. He held her close and kissed her face. “Get used to it.”
Chapter Eleven
Ainsley woke in a dark room completely unaware of what time it was or when she’d fallen asleep but her corset dug into her in the most uncomfortable way.
“You’re awake.” James’s voice rasped close to her ear and a flood of memories assaulted her. The way he’d touched her, held her.
She lifted her head and reached out to find him in the dark. Feeling the solid warmth of his chest next to her, she curled into his heat. “You’re here.”
His arms gathered her up and pulled her on top of him. “Of course I am here. And I intend to stay here for quite some time.”
“What?” She lifted her head and tried to look into his eyes. “But dinner and my family….good gracious, what time is it?”
“It’s eight and dinner has already begun. Your mother came in, found you sleeping, and ordered a tray to be left outside your door.”
“My mother came in…” She tried to see his face in the dark. Her palms growing damp. “But you, did you…did she…?”
Her eyes finally adjusted to the light and she saw him grinning. “I hid in the curtains. That was why I was next to you on the bed rather than being used as your pillow.”
Her body went limp with relief until she realized he had also said that he intended to stay. That made her tense anew, and she lifted her head back up and pushed with her arms to lift away from his chest. “So you’re going to be here, with me, for the rest of the night?”
His grin came back. The devilish one that matched his swagger. He ran his hands up and down her back, in a gesture clearly meant to relax her. It worked. “Or until you request I leave.” He kissed her then, slowly, deeply. When he finally pulled away, she’d completely forgotten why she was anxious. “But don’t worry, love. I just want to talk. We’ve yet to get to know each other.”
She laid her head on his chest. “I know you.”
His chuckle reverberated under her ear. “What do you know about me?”
“That your father died and your mother abandoned you to remarry. You father’s half-brother raised you, but he never loved you, and you hate him for it.” She swallowed before she said the next part. She knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t like to hear it. “And you hate yourself for it too. That you tried, that you failed.”
“How do you know that?” His voice was sharp and she winced. She wasn’t trying to upset him.
“I assumed it’s why you keep your distance. It must have been so hard to be rejected at such a young age.” She gave his chest a little thump, wishing to break up the conversation and change the subject. “Now you say what you know about me. The little peacock.”
He chuckled again. “Well first, I am going to hell for that one.” He kissed her forehead again. “But, while you like pretty dresses and fancy balls, you love your family more and you’d give it all up for them. You look more beautiful than any woman I’ve ever seen holding a baby, and you have the power to undo me completely if you choose to.”
She kissed him this time, long and slow. When the kiss finally broke, he gave her another smile, not so full of merriment, more sad. “And you’re smart enough to keep yourself at a distance until you know what I’m about. A skill I don’t seem to have with you. But I’ll wait until you’re sure about me because I am sure about you.”
That did it, after the way he’d touched her this afternoon, what they’d said here in this room, she couldn’t hold back any longer. As she kissed him again, she began undoing the buttons of his shirt.
“Ainsley,” he warned. “What are you doing?”
“Getting to know you,” she murmured as she slid her lips down the column of his neck. “For example, what does your chest look like?”
With each button she undid, she kissed lower against his chest. She had every intention of doing to him what he’d done to her, but first, she needed to take off some of her own clothing. She could not do it in this corset.
Once she’d undone his shirt she climbed off the side of the bed and pulled his arms until he followed. Then, she pushed the fabric down over his shoulders, until it fell to the floor
. “Now help me out of these clothes,” she said softly her voice husky.
“I don’t think I should, love,” his eyes were all over her, devouring her every curve.
She could tell him that she was uncomfortable and then he would help with her corset without hesitation but she didn’t want to. She wanted to know if his words were really true. “James,” her husky voice floated in the air between them. “Do it.”
She saw the ripple of need that passed over him and in an instant he was undoing the buttons of her simple gown. It pooled at her feet as he plucked at her stays. She gave a moan of pleasure as it fell away and he groaned in response.
“I don’t know if I can hold back again, Ainsley.” His lips found hers in a series of frantic kisses that were only interrupted when he plucked off another article of her clothing.
“I don’t want you to.” She gasped as the cool air hit her bare skin.
“Bloody hell, you’re so beautiful,” he nearly growled the words as he gathered her against his chest, their bare flesh coming together and making her shiver. “Say my name again.”
“James, take off your clothes,” she half demanded, half pleaded. She wanted to feel more of him, touch every part of him.
He laid her on the bed and then standing over her stripped off his boots, breeches, and stockings. Then he kissed his way back up her body, making her gasp, pant and moan. “I was supposed to do this to you,” she managed to say between breaths as he lavished affection of each of her breasts.
He grinned as he plucked one nipple with his lips. “Oh love,” he said, as he kissed up her neck, his hand coming to the sensitive flesh between her legs. “I won’t refuse you. Not that, not anything.”
As his finger slid inside of her, she felt the rightness of his touch, the feeling of being complete and she arched against him. “Yes,” she hissed.
Quicker than she could have imagined, he slid his digit back out and the tip of his manhood took its place, pressing into her. There was a moment where it was incredible, sensation filling her body until the stab of pain came.
He stilled above and began kissing her face, his hands smoothing her hair. And then, haltingly, he began to sing to her. More of a hum really, but she felt it against her chest, the comfort of it and as she focused on it, the pain receded and then was gone.
They began to move together as the pleasure slowly returned and the tempo beat a song of its own. As their passion crashed together and they broke apart in each other’s arms Ainsley wondered what would happen if she said his name now. “James,” she murmured against his ear.
“Yes,” he asked, gathering her close to his chest.
“How do you feel about me?”
“I love you,” he answered.
Her chest fluttered with emotion as she wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. “I love you too.”
They stayed locked like that for the longest time and Ainsley had the feeling that if they could just stay like that forever, than everything would remain perfect. But she couldn’t help but worry what tomorrow would bring.
Chapter Twelve
He woke early with Ainsley locked in his arms. She fit perfectly, her lovely body pressed against him in all of the perfect places. Looking down at her face, she near glowed in her sleep, her flawless skin creamy in the first rays of the sun, just a touch of pink staining her cheeks.
She’d told him that she was worried that she was simply a passing fancy for him. But he was honestly worried about the same. She was young, flawless, and blooming like a flower before his eyes. What if she soon realized he wasn’t good enough for her? Would she leave him to find a man who hadn’t been stained by his past? Who could love her the way she deserved and not remain distant as he had done?
There was only one solution he could think of. And that was to wed her as soon as possible. Before she realized how much better she was than him.
Kissing her softly on the brow, he rose from the bed and tiptoed about, gathering his clothing from the floor. Once dressed, he walked softly to the door and opened it as quietly as he could to slip out of the room. The door closed behind him with a soft click.
Striding down the hall, he made his way to his room to wash and change. The next few hours were not going to be easy.
After a small breakfast, he set himself to wait for Ewan. He’d told Ainsley that he would ask for her hand again but that was before. Now that’d he ruined her, he’d confess and they would wed. He ignored the warning voice that said it was a terrible plan. That he should seek Ainsley’s hand by asking again.
What if she refused, he argued with himself. What if she’d realized he wasn’t enough to be her husband? Everyone in his life realized he wasn’t worthy of love. It was better to tie her to him before it was too late.
When Ewan finally arrived, he stood, crossing to the man before he’d even sat. “May I have a word?”
A look of concern crossed Ewan’s face before he nodded his consent and gestured toward the door. They made their way to Ewan’s office. Ewan was silent as they walked the short distance. Entering the office, he settled himself behind the desk. “What is this about?” His rough tone told James that Ewan had an inkling.
James took a deep breath. He pushed the voice aside that told him this was his chance to change his plan. That this was a mistake. “I’m here to offer for Ainsley.”
Ewan sat back in his chair, looking slightly relieved. “Well, that is good news. I was worried for a moment.” He drew out a piece of paper from his drawer. “Has Ainsley spoken with her mother? Have you? Did she give her formal consent to court? Did you wish me to seek Haggis’s consent?”
“I am not asking for any of that.” James swallowed. He had the good sense to be nervous in the moment. “I should be more specific. I’ve ruined Ainsley and I wish to make it right by marrying her as soon as possible.”
Ewan’s hand stilled, perched over the paper as he stared at James for several seconds. “You’ve what?”
“Please Ewan, don’t make me repeat it.” He spread his hands out on the desk in a gesture of peace. It wasn’t that Ewan frightened him as a man. It was more what he represented. He could refuse, challenge James to a duel, toss him out of the house, tell Lord Ravenscraig to never allow Ainsley to speak to James again. All of which he wished he’d thought of prior to this moment.
Ewan stood and James did the same. “Repeat it,” Ewan growled. “Repeat how I am going to have to write to Ainsley’s father and inform him that his daughter was ruined under my watch. He will despise us both, do you understand that?”
James winced. He hadn’t thought of that either, damn it all to hell. He’d only been thinking of the quickest way to make Ainsley his forever. “What would you have me do?”
Ewan leaned across the desk. “I wasn’t a saint before I married, but I sought Clarissa’s father’s approval. More importantly, I sought Clarissa’s.”
“What if Ainsley refuses?” James stood straighter. He’d take her away before he’d allow that to happen. He couldn’t lose her now.
Ewan stepped around the desk. “You explain the situation to her. But at the very least, you will gain her consent. Haggis will not abide his daughter being married to a man she doesn’t want. He’d see her ruined first.”
That surprised James. “He wouldn’t.”
“He loves his daughter and, above all, wants to see her happy.”
Pain rumbled deep in his chest. He’d give anything to experience that kind of love. And it frightened him because, if he could just make Ainsley his, he’d have some piece of that. But now she could refuse. And he couldn’t lose her now. He’d only just begun to understand how it felt to love someone.
Ainsley woke to the sound of the door closing and found herself in bed alone. Unease filled her as her hand slid to where James had slept. It was still warm. Why hadn’t he stayed with her or at least woken her before he left?
She didn’t regret last night. It had been magical, but she wished he wasn’t so dista
nt.
Laying in bed, she thought about what came next. Did she marry him? Society certainly thought she should. But she wasn’t sure. She was falling in love, she knew that. But, most times, he was so hard to reach.
With a sigh she finally got up and began to ready herself for the day. Making her way to breakfast, she found the room devoid of family. Truthfully, she didn’t mind the silence. Helping herself to some food she sat down to eat, finding that she was quite hungry.
Just as she was about to finish, the door opened. Looking up to see who it was, she gave Ewan a smile as he walked into the room. His return stare was devoid of emotion. Unease once again filled her as he came to stand next to her.
“Is everything all right?” she asked him her brow furrowing.
“No,” he answered, crossing his arms. “You’ve put me in a very tenuous situation.”
She swallowed down the lump that had formed in her throat, her unease turning to dread. “What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean. James sought an audience first thing this morning.” Ewan’s rough voice grated across her nerves. “Because of what he’s done, he’s asked me for your hand.”
“James did what?” Was all she could push out, her eyes casting down to her plate.
“You father is going to have my head,” Ewan growled. “How could you be so careless?”
That did it. She went from being anxious to angry in a moment. She wouldn’t abide Ewan judging, especially when he’d been no better while courting her cousin. “Me? I was there, remember. I watched you and Clarissa. Don’t act the saint now.” She stood, pushing her chair back. “This is my future, Ewan. I am sorry if it is inconvenient for you.”
“Ainsley,” he started. But she didn’t let him finish.
“If my father did one thing, he allowed you and Clarissa the time you needed to find your life together. You won’t push me, Ewan, and we won’t discuss this again.”
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