by M. S. Parker
Right toward the address Kane had given me.
“I really am doing this,” I muttered.
Yes. Yes, I was.
I finally reached the address and had to draw the napkin from my pocket to double check – yep, this was the right place.
It was a garage. The open sign was off, and the hours of the place showed that it had closed at five-thirty.
“Okay,” I mumbled, stepping back and wondering how I was supposed to get inside. That was when I noticed the bell by the door. Shrugging, I reached out to punch it.
It didn’t even take a minute before I heard noise coming from the back of the garage. A tall form, lined in light, appeared in a doorway somewhere inside and my heart fluttered a little as I recognized Kane.
Tightening my grip on the bag of food, I held my breath as he drew closer.
He eyed me through the glass and a slow smile curled up the corners of his mouth. The smile softened everything about him. I couldn’t help but notice that. He looked less…aggressive. Even the scar bisecting his left eyebrow seemed less intimidating. My heart kicked up a few more beats as he unlocked the door.
I thought about how he’d kissed me.
Then I remembered slapping him, and I blushed.
“You came,” he said, pushing the door open and stepping aside so I could enter.
“Yes.” I moved in past him, feeling the heat of his skin reaching out to mine as I brushed by him. I shivered a little, wondering a bit at the enticing sensation. “I…um…I brought food. I figured we could…eat. I don’t know if you’ve had dinner.”
“I haven’t,” he told me. “But even if I had, I’m always hungry.” He smiled as he said it, taking the bag from me. He gestured to a row of hooks on the far wall. “You can hang your coat up there if you want. We’ll do this in the bay area.”
I had no idea what that meant, but I figured I’d find out. Hanging up my coat, I turned just as he relocked the doors. He shot me a grin. “If I don’t lock up, people will try to come in, no matter if the sign’s off and the hours are posted.”
Nodding, I stood there, feeling awkward and out of place. I was glad when he gestured for me to follow him.
The bay, it turned out, was the area used for repairing the cars.
“Is this your garage?” I asked, eying the space that looked to have been cleared out just for us.
“Yes.”
A heavy mat was spread on the floor, and I glanced at him. “You do this sort of thing a lot?”
“I’ve got sisters,” he replied.
Did some small part of me deflate a little at that answer? Was that why he was doing this?
Why did you want him to be doing it? That logical part of me wouldn’t shut up.
Biting my lip, I decided to just ignore it.
“So…” I folded my arms over my chest. “How do we start?”
My arms hurt.
My upper body hurt.
My legs hurt.
“You should start doing push-ups,” Kane said, dropping down next to me where I sprawled on the mat, trying to decide if I was ever going to move again.
I heard plastic rustle and lifted my head.
Okay, crap. Even my neck hurt.
It wasn’t like a strain or anything, just a deep sort of muscle ache that let me know I’d been working parts of me that weren’t used to being worked.
But none of that stopped me from dragging myself into an upright position as he peeled the top of the ribs off and the smell wafted out. My belly rumbled demandingly.
“I hate push-ups,” I told Kane, taking one of the plates he offered me. They were plain, simple, and white. I wondered where they’d come from.
“They’ll build your upper body strength,” he said with a shrug. He had a healthy serving of ribs on his own plate and watched me as he selected one. “The stronger you are, the better you’ll be able to hurt somebody if you ever need to use any of this stuff I’m teaching you.”
He couldn’t have said anything more likely to convince me.
I was back over at the garage for the third time in as many days. School started back up the following week, and I wouldn’t be able to come over as much – I’d already told Kane that, and he said we’d work around my schedule as needed. I was nowhere confident enough that I could use any of the moves he’d shown me yet.
Of course, sometimes I had trouble concentrating on what he was showing me. It wasn’t that he was hard to follow, but…well…sometimes he did make it hard. Hard to pay attention. Hard to think. Hard to do anything but wish I could be normal, wish I knew how to do something about the heat he caused inside me.
I wished I knew what to do when our hands accidentally touched, and sparks erupted between us.
I wished I knew how to close the distance between us and kiss him, or how to handle the lulls in the conversation when we were eating.
If they bothered him, he didn’t let on, but for me, those lulls were emotionally charged, and I wanted, more than anything, to be the kind of girl who could take the bull by the horns and lean over toward him during one of those silences, press my lips to his mouth and just…see what happened.
Last night, he’d ordered pizza for us, and those silences had happened several times.
Tonight, I had Chinese, and I had no doubt those silences would happen a couple more times.
If I wasn’t so awkward, so bad at the man/woman shit, I could handle this.
But even the few dates I’d been on had been disasters, and the attempts at sex had been nothing but a study in awkwardness and pain, at least from my point of view.
“Stop worrying about it, or you’ll make it worse,” I told myself as I rang the doorbell, my arms laden with Chinese food.
Since I didn’t know what he liked, I’d ordered three different entrees and had a mess of egg rolls and crab Rangoon. One thing I’d noticed – the man could put food away like nothing I’d ever seen.
My arms ached a little as I went to ring the doorbell. I’d taken him at his word and started doing push-ups.
I could manage maybe ten. When I told him that last night, I’d expected him to laugh, but Kane just nodded. “Next week, do fifteen. Then go for twenty. You’ll get up there.”
I couldn’t imagine doing twenty push-ups. The pitiful ten I was doing now took all the strength I possessed.
The door opened, and Kane stepped aside to let me in. I smiled a little easier today, not as nervous as I’d been the first night.
“That smells good,” he said, locking the door behind me. He took the bags as I hung up my coat.
“I didn’t know what you liked so I got a couple of things.” When I turned to face him, I tensed, finding him standing closer than I’d expected. “Ah…” I licked my lips.
His gaze dropped to my mouth, then moved back to meet my eyes.
A rush of heat exploded through my chest. What was that?
A grin crooked his lips. “I’m easy, Raye. I like a little bit of everything. I’m sure whatever you have is fine.”
I nodded, feeling like an idiot.
I also felt more than a little hopeless, because another one of those moments had just slid through my fingertips, and I didn’t know how to do jack about it.
“Relax,” Kane said, his voice rough in my ear.
It was almost impossible to relax, considering the position we were in.
He held in what could almost be called a lover’s embrace, with my back tucked up against his front, both of his arms around me. He didn’t hold me too tight, but his arms weren’t loose enough for me to escape either. I was supposed to be using some of the techniques he’d shown me to break free.
A crazed mix of fear and want slithered through me, though, which was making it almost impossible to think. And he wanted me to relax?
“Remember what I told you,” he said, speaking in a tone that was almost soothing despite the rough, raw grittiness of his tone. “A man’s gotta be able to see and breathe to do much of anything, so w
hat are you going to do?”
His words jarred loose the proper action, and I jerked back with my head.
He moved his just in time, but he’d told me he knew to move because he was expecting it. Anybody who came up and grabbed me out of the blue wasn’t likely to be prepared for a fight – most predators weren’t.
“Good. Now…next?”
I was supposed to stun him enough that he let me go.
I brought up my tennis-clad foot and slammed it down on his instep. He was wearing work boots and had told me not to pull the hit – you’re little, and you need to prepare for this. Give it all you got.
He grunted, a sound of pain in his voice. “Good one. Next?”
I drove back with my elbow and hit a torso that felt as hard as a tree trunk, but he let me go. I rushed to get away before he could grab me again, which would start the process all over.
“Good job.”
As I turned, I found him grinning at me, the grin that turned his dark, brooding face into one that was good-looking enough to take my breath away.
I could pretend that it was adrenaline, though.
Fifteen
Raye
My heart was still racing twenty minutes later when he led me into the back of the garage. There was a small apartment set up back there, and I looked around, curiously. “I figured it would be easier to eat Chinese at a table,” Kane said, gesturing for me to sit.
I did so, arms wrapped around myself.
He noticed. “Are you cold?”
“No.” I had to fight to keep my teeth from chattering, but it had nothing to do with cold and everything to do with nerves.
My skin felt like it was on fire, alive with sensation.
It had been like that ever since the first time he’d come up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.
Odd that terror hadn’t been the first thing to go through me.
Odd that I wasn’t terrified now, alone in this room with him.
But while fear was a shadow in the back of my mind, it didn’t loom over me. Not even when he sat down across from me at a table so small his knee touched mine as we began to help ourselves to the food he’d spread out in front of us.
“You’re doing pretty good with everything,” Kane said after taking a bite of fried rice.
“Thanks.” I shot him a smile and tried to pretend I wasn’t nervous as hell.
His gaze lingered on mine a little longer this time.
Throughout the meal, those lingering gazes happened more and more, and by the time we were done eating, I felt like I might come out of my skin. I was the first one on my feet. “Here,” I said, voice higher than normal. “Let me help you clean up.”
I turned away before he could say anything, arms full of nearly empty containers. Moving to the counter by the fridge, I asked, “You want to keep this for lunch tomorrow? I don’t want it.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said from right behind me.
I jumped at the nearness of his voice and froze when his arms came around me, caging me in where I stood. Trapped. Yet oddly, I didn’t feel that way. I felt surrounded by him, but not in a bad way.
“Turn around and look at me, Raye,” he whispered, mouth right next to my ear.
Tension made me awkward and stiff as I did so, and I tried to tell myself to relax, but unfortunately, there was no coaxing voice to remind me of what came next as I turned to meet his eyes. We weren’t out in the garage, and he wasn’t teaching some move that might help me avoid an attack this time.
Sensation flooded me, swelling through me so big and overwhelming I didn’t know how to handle it.
Everything seemed clearer and sharper as I met his eyes. I could see striations of a lighter brown cutting through the dark chocolate of his gaze and I could make out each individual eyelash. He reached up to cup my cheek, and the callouses on his palm felt exquisite against my skin. I wanted to rub myself against his touch like a cat.
So why don’t you?
That soft voice inside me urged me to be bold, but I didn’t know how. Didn’t know if it was the right time or even if I should.
“What are you thinking?” he asked. “Your thoughts are racing. I can see them all flashing through your eyes, but I can’t keep up with them.”
My breath hitched in my chest.
Here was my chance. I could tell him what I wanted and let him decide. I thought maybe he wanted me. He’d kissed me before, and the tension in the air between us couldn’t be entirely one-sided, could it?
I licked my lips, and when I did, his gaze dropped straight to my mouth, and a strange noise escaped him.
Tell him…
“Will you kiss me?” I blurted out.
His lids drooped low over his eyes, but that didn’t quite prevent me from seeing the way the pupils swelled, all but swallowing the dark brown of his irises. A ruddy flush settled across his cheekbones, and he swayed forward just the slightest bit.
But he didn’t kiss me.
Instead, he reached up and cupped my cheek.
“Why?”
What do you mean, why?
“Um… because I want you to.” I had to fight the urge to pull away from him, and there was also a faint, hysterical giggle bubbling up in my throat, although I somehow managed to keep that held back. He continued to study me, and when he didn’t do anything, I arched my back, forcing some distance between us. “Unless you don’t…”
He pressed his thumb to my lips. “I’ve thought about kissing you again pretty much since the first time I did it, even when I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. But since that one ended with you slapping me…”
“I shouldn’t have done that,” I said weakly. “It was New Year’s Eve.”
“I disagree. You’d just had two assholes hassle you. New Year’s Eve or not, I had some seriously bad timing.” His gaze swept down to my mouth and heat lashed me from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. “Still…I wanted to do it again. I still want to.”
“Then why aren’t you?”
“Good question, Raye.” His gaze held mine as he slowly lowered his head and brushed his lips against mine.
That was all he did at first, rub his lips against mine.
And he watched me.
Unprepared for that, I couldn’t tear my gaze from his, held captured by those dark brown eyes as he brushed one feather-light kiss after another against my mouth. A low, vibrating noise emanated from somewhere, and I didn’t realize it was me until after I’d moaned a second time.
By then, my mouth had parted, and he took advantage of it, sliding his tongue out to lick at the small opening. That had me opening wider for him. He tasted so good…
He groaned against my mouth, finally deepening the kiss and his lids drooped all the way closed. As if that alone was all I’d been waiting for, I finally let myself close my eyes and gave into that kiss completely.
He slid one arm around me, pressing his palm against my ass and drawing me flat against him.
Heat exploded through me as his cock swelled against my belly.
It was a reaction I wasn’t prepared for. Any time I’d ever felt a man’s cock, it had caused a mix of terror and trepidation, although there had only been a handful of instances, mostly on dates gone bad, back when I thought maybe I could make myself be normal.
But this was new.
This was…kind of wonderful.
An empty ache centered low in my belly.
It pulsed, echoing through my entire body, and when his cock throbbed, those pulsing sensations started all over, as if in answer to some call from his body that mine sensed.
He boosted me up onto the counter at my back, and I gasped as he tugged me close. With the movement, his cock nestled up against me, and instinctively, I arched closer. That had those pulsing sensations panging that much stronger, and I felt his cock more fully now.
“Can I touch you?” he whispered against my mouth.
“You already are.”
He
laughed against my lips, and it was a pained sound. “Not what I meant.”
I got his meaning a moment later as he placed his hand on my side, under the hem of my shirt. “I want to take this off and touch you,” he said, the words blunt. “I want to touch your tits…taste them. Can I?”
The stark, raw words had me jerking in his arms, and I pulled back, staring at him.
My breath came in harsh pants as I processed what he’d just said and what I felt about it. The answer, I already knew – everything in me was screaming yes. But I’d never expected to have a guy say something like that to me, and I didn’t know how I felt.
But I think I kind of liked it.
Slowly, I nodded and reached for the hem of my shirt, but he brushed my hands away, guiding them back to my sides. He was the one to peel the shirt off, and when he was done, he tossed it onto the seat just behind him. The kitchen was so small, there was barely room for the table and appliances. If I reached out with my foot, I’d be touching the chair I’d used for dinner.
I didn’t understand why the small area and the big man didn’t make me feel trapped.
But I felt…safe.
And…wanted.
His hands came up, cupping my breasts, and I jolted at the sensation. I’d been braced for…something. An echo of memory tried to take over, cruel hands, pinching, pulling.
But it faded under the gentle motions of Kane’s hands, the way he tugged lightly at my nipples through the bra. Then… I gasped as he dipped his head and took me in his mouth, his teeth lightly raking the nipple through the damp material of my bra. He worried and tugged and sucked until my nipple was tight, aching, and full, and everything he did sent a jolt of sensation shooting straight down to… there.
I was wet, something I didn’t realize until I started to squirm, and my panties rubbed back and forth over me.
He reached between my thighs.
I froze.
“Easy, Raye,” he murmured against my flesh.
But I couldn’t.
Tension shot through me, and slowly, Kane raised his head to look at me. I don’t know what he saw, but I had a good idea. It was probably the same look I saw on my face on the mornings when the nightmares brought me gasping into wakefulness, and I’d rush into the bathroom and turn on the water, hoping to wash away the nausea and the taste brought on by dreams I never could quite remember.
