Commonsense said he couldn’t have known, that the attack could have happened even if they’d stayed together, but that he hadn’t been there to support her through the months following, to be with her in court and after, that needled him mercilessly.
Never again, I swear.
Regardless of what had transpired to bring about Ella leaning into him, Ryan was thankful for this chance. Because to him it was a second chance. He wouldn’t fail her this time, would be there for her no matter how much she might protest.
Having her in his arms made him feel so…complete. For so many years, even set on his dangerous career, he’d always been aware of an emptiness deep in his heart, that missing piece.
That missing piece was back in his arms making him feel whole once again.
He wasn’t going to make the same mistake, wasn’t going to lose her. Because as he cradled her in his arms, he knew one thing with stark clarity - Ella was his. Always had been, always would be. And he meant to make her his once again if she’d have him.
He just had to convince her of that.
He’d convince her if it killed him.
After awhile she stirred, pushed back enough to look up at him. There was a tear track on her cheek that hadn’t been there previously, testament to the fact she’d cried silently without him even knowing. Gently, he wiped along the damp track with his thumb. “Tears, Ella mine?”
“Guess I’m not as strong as I thought I was.”
Cradling her cheek, he drank his full of her pretty face. “You’re one of the bravest women I know.”
Her smile was a little wobbly, but a smile nevertheless. “How much does Aaron pay you to say that?”
“Nothing.”
“So I’m going to get your bill in the mail?”
It’d been a long time since he’d smiled outwardly, it felt almost alien. “No bill. But here’s my card with my phone number.”
“Nice to have something for nothing for a change.” Pocketing the card, she pulled away.
Tiredness was stamped on her face, weariness in her eyes. Emotionally, she was wiped out. “Go to bed, Ella. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Tomorrow,” he stated firmly.
With a sigh, she led him into the little hallway. “I’m too tired to fight you tonight.”
“Tomorrow is a whole new day. Give it your best shot then.” Wouldn’t work, anyway.
She gave him an ironic smile over her shoulder. “Something to look forward to.” Laying her hand on the doorknob, she opened the door a crack then stopped. Looking up, she said with quiet sincerity, “Thank you.”
He arched an eyebrow.
“For everything. For not throwing me to the wolves. For talking to me. For staying. You didn’t have to stay once the feds came.”
He couldn’t help it, the warmth, the love he felt for her filling his heart. Reaching out again, he cupped her cheek, slid his thumb along the silky skin.
She gazed up at him out of grey eyes that could go stormy with anger, drown with tears, sparkle with laughter. Right now they were grave, but something inside them…something in the way she turned her head slightly into his palm…something in the way she leaned a little towards him…
Bending down, he watched for her reaction, watched for her retreat, but all she did was watch him in turn, those thick eyelashes lowering as he drew nearer.
His lips touched hers. Lightly. The barest whisper of skin on skin.
It hit him hard, a hot bolt, the sudden need to crush her to him, to back her against the wall, to devour her mouth, take her body, replace the graveness with ecstasy. Have her beneath him, around him, bury himself in her soft body and sweet scent.
Iron control slammed into place. So very aware that this moment , these precious seconds when she didn’t draw away in anger, was a gift.
His kiss deepened as he pressed a little more firmly, giving himself one last taste, the chaste kiss as meaningful as any deep, wet, hot kiss would be.
The first taste of her lips in thirteen long years. God, he was so hungry for more.
Knowing everything hung on a cusp, not wanting to give her a chance to regret it or rebuff him, Ryan lifted his head.
She gazed up at him searchingly.
“I’m here for you, Ella mine.” Straightening, he opened the door, unlocked the security screen and stepped out onto the veranda. “Lock the door. Go to bed. Don’t go anywhere tomorrow until I arrive.” Without giving her a chance to argue, he walked to the car.
The door was shut, the security light on when he pulled out into the street. He didn’t see them but he knew Kelly from Wells Security was on watch duty tonight, she’d be somewhere close by. The cameras on the house were no longer just recording but were now transmitting the comings and goings of everyone to Control Centre. Tonight he’d done what he could, tomorrow was another day. Or today, he amended, noting the time was one in the morning.
Once home he showered, donned boxers and nothing else, padded barefoot back to the lounge and sat at the piano. Though the hour was late and he’d been on the go since early morning, he was too wired to sleep.
Fingers tracing across the ivory keys, Ryan inhaled and started playing, the notes filling the air sweetly.
He played with Ella on his mind.
He played with Ella in his heart.
~*~
After a restless sleep, Ella was up early and showered. With several hours to kill before the boarding cattery opened, she hit the road to do the shopping early, choosing one of the shops nearby that opened at seven in the morning. With groceries in the boot, she headed to the boarding cattery.
Janie met her at the door. “Boof is so annoyed.”
“When is he never?” Amused, Ella followed her into the building where the individual cat runs were situated.
“A truer word was never spoken.” Janie stopped at the end run.
They both looked in at the cat doing a Sphinx pose on the above-ground platform. His one eye was slitted, his one ear pulled back in displeasure. The look didn’t change at the sight of Ella. He did, however, manage one rusty meow before resuming his glare.
“Ready to come home, grumpy-bum?” she queried.
The ear flicked upright, went back down, and then he studiously looked away.
“Spurned,” Janie said cheerfully.
“Story of my life. Come on, Boofie-bums. I bought your favourite fish,” Ella wheedled. “Come on mummy’s little man.”
“Want me to get him?” Janie offered.
“Nah, I’ll get him. He’ll behave better for me.”
Boof hissed when she entered the run, but Ella simply opened the lid of the cat basket Janie handed to her, unceremoniously grabbed him and plopped him into it, closing the lid quickly. Boof grumbled and sat up, glaring around at the other pens and hissing at the watching cats as Ella carted him back up the centre of the runs to the office.
After paying the bill, she settled the basket in the passenger seat, buckled her seatbelt and surveyed him. “Well, happy to see me?”
Boof glared before deciding that maybe he did - a wee bit - and bumped the top of his head against her finger where she wiggled it between the bars.
“You are such a con artist,” she chided with a laugh. “Come on, let’s get you home and settled.”
Feeling a little more cheerful with Boof by her side, she nevertheless was aware of the time. Right now, back in Melbourne, Rose would be meeting with the AFP. She’d have to ring Rose later, see what had happened, how she’d coped.
Pulling into the driveway, she saw the Wells Security car parked on the side, Ryan at the steering-wheel talking into a mobile.
Her heart skipped a beat.
God, he’d kissed her mere hours ago. She’d let him, hell, she’d enjoyed it. No sense lying about it. It was a kiss so sweet it had her melting a little. Like hot chocolate. Sweet like hot chocolate.
She liked chocolate.
But maybe he’d meant to j
ust comfort her or something. Maybe it had meant nothing. Maybe - but he called you Ella mine several times, remember? He always called you Ella mine. The memory sent a warm flow through her. But it also set off internal warning bells because that was in the past, had nothing to do with the present. She might have been his Ella mine, but obviously not enough to stop him leaving her.
“Only one man in my life, Boof,” she informed him, “and that’s you, isn’t it?”
Boof flicked his one ear and stared at the dashboard.
“Yeah, because being back home is so much more important. I get it.” Smiling, she reached for the door handle only to grab air.
Turning, she looked straight at lean hips clad in navy blue slacks, a flat abdomen and the beginnings of a muscular chest clad in a navy blue polo shirt. She didn’t have to see the face of the man holding the door open to know his identity.
Getting out of the car, she straightened, coolly met his gaze. “Ryan.”
“Ella,” he greeted pleasantly.
“Something I can do for you?”
“Called in to check on you.”
“What for?”
“Part of the job.”
“Very commendable,” she said a little more tightly than she meant. Hmmm, that hadn’t affected her at all. Nope. “But I’m fine, so you can stop the checks.”
Closing the door, he strode around to the other side of the car and opened the passenger door.
“I wouldn’t do that,” Ella said, moving quickly. “He can get a little touchy.”
Ryan bent down to look in at Boof.
Boof glared back.
Ryan gazed at him in silence for several seconds, not flinching when Boof hissed.
Expecting Ryan to back away, Ella was disconcerted when instead he reached in, grabbed the carry basket handle and lifted it out of the car.
Boof growled menacingly.
Ryan looked down at him. The big, tattered tom glared in return.
She was surprised when Boof didn’t lash out. It was as though Ryan’s calm regard did something to his usual bad temper. He still hissed, but he didn’t poke a paw through and attempt to use Ryan’s hand or arm like a scratching post.
With a nod, Ryan handed the basket to her. “Tough cat.”
“Yeah, I thought so.” She eyed Boof, who eyed her back as though daring her to say it. So she did. “Normally he’d use you like a cheese grater.”
“Does he do it to you?”
“He threatens a lot but I take no notice. He’s never scratched me.”
“Smart boy. Take him in and I’ll follow with the groceries.”
“There’s no need. I can bring it all in.”
Unperturbed, Ryan opened the boot and started gathering bags.
Ella tried one last time. “Look, your job is done. I gave you the information so there’s no need to check on, much less help, me. I’m sure you have more important jobs to do.”
“You’re important.” Calmly, he strode past her with handfuls of bags.
Yeah, that went well. Not knowing what else to do, Ella followed, unlocking the door and letting him in ahead of her before entering and letting Boof out of the basket.
Boof rewarded her by stalking into the lounge room to do some recon, but she knew he’d soon be in the kitchen demanding food.
Ryan already had the bags on the bench, returning to the car for the remainder.
With a shrug, she started unpacking. He was here for something, but in true Ryan fashion he was dealing with one job at a time and wasn’t going to be side-tracked. The man had always had the tenacity of…well, like Boof when he spotted a prime piece of steak. There was just no diverting him.
Grinning, she continued unpacking and putting the items away until a sudden warmth at her shoulder had her jumping.
“Sorry.” Ryan placed the last of the bags on the bench. “Did I startle you?”
Startle her? Disturbed was more like. She’d admit that when hell froze over, however, so a shrug was her answer.
Now, startled was the word for it when he started unpacking the food. Watching him, she frowned. The man was stacking everything neatly on the bench. Even worse, he hefted a packet of chocolate biscuits and studied it before sliding his gaze to her.
“What?” she asked. “Don’t approve of my choice?”
“You always did like Caramel Crowns.”
“You always liked Tim Tams.”
“It’s why we always bought one of each.”
“Boof prefers his tuna flavoured biscuits.”
Little crinkles of amusement creased the corners of his eyes. “We’ll just have to buy one of all three.”
“Decadent, don’t you think?”
“Some are worth it.” There was something in his tone and eyes that had her stomach flipping.
Swallowing, she returned her attention to the bags. “Yes, Boof is worth it.”
The silence that greeted this was just loaded with meaning which she refused to take further. Didn’t want to take it further. In fact, she was shit scared of taking it further.
Seeking to divert the conversation - feeling in the air, hidden meaning, whatever - Ella stacked the small cans of fancy cat food in her arm and crossed to the pantry. “What do you want, Ryan? I can’t imagine you’re here for old time’s sake.”
“No?”
“No,” she replied firmly. “Did you tell Aaron I don’t need monitoring anymore?”
“We discussed it.”
“Good.” Moving back to the bench carrying several empty containers, she picked up the flour and tore open the top. Pouring the contents into the container, she glanced up with feigned curiosity. “You’re still here.”
The man looked completely at ease leaning against the sink with his arms folded, the bulge of muscular biceps and triceps shown to perfection by both the position and the short sleeves of the polo shirt. Long legs were crossed at booted ankles. “We’re keeping you under monitor for now.”
“No, you’re not.”
“You’re not yet out of danger.”
“Danger?” She scoffed. “I’m over here. It’s Rose who is more at risk than I.”
“At this time we don’t know if anyone has twigged that you and/or Rose are involved in the information concerning the psychiatrist and lawyer. You’re both being watched.”
“Hey, you didn’t even know until I told you.” Crumpling the bag, Ella put the lid on the container and pushed it to one side before picking up the bag of sugar and repeating the process. “It’s my decision. I don’t need protection.”
“It’s not your decision.”
“Like hell.” Annoyed, she tipped the last of the bag into the container and put the lid onto it with more force than necessary. Grabbing both containers, she took them across to the pantry. “I’ll ring Aaron myself.”
“I’m afraid, Ella, this is out of your hands.”
Shutting the pantry door, she swung around to face him with a scowl. “Out of my hands? This decision is about me, and I decide what’s best for me. Not you. Me.”
That cool gaze didn’t waver. “Until we’re confident that you’re not in any firing line, you remain under Wells Security protection.”
“That’s just bullshit.”
He regarded her steadily.
Hands on hips, she glared at him.
Not one more word passed his lips. Damn, that was irritating. “So the feds don’t give a crap about me, only you.” Realising how that sounded, she added quickly, “Wells Security, I mean.”
“Wells Security is working in with the feds. We’re doing the security detail for both you and Rose.”
“This is ridiculous.”
“Is it?” He tracked her progress from bench to pantry and back again.
“Yes, it is. This has been taken out of our hands now, so I’ll fade into obscurity. Rose, however, I agree she needs protecting. When the shit hits the fan she’s going to cop the fall-out.” Lips tight, Ella put the milk, cheese and eggs into the ‘f
ridge before gathering up the empty bags.
“She will,” he agreed. “But nevertheless, you are a part of this and until it’s deemed otherwise you are under my protection.”
“Your protection?”
“Wells Security.”
Obviously the decision wasn’t hers anymore. Moodily, she folded the bags and left them on the bench to put back into the car boot. With nothing more to occupy her hands, she welcomed Boof stomping into the kitchen. Placing his saucer of salmon with whiting before him, she knelt down and stroked him.
The silence continued, but she felt Ryan’s gaze. With a sigh, she stood to face him. “So who is my bodyguard?”
He quirked an eyebrow.
“Oh, hell no!”
“I’ll be one of several rotating. Does that bother you?”
“What do you think?” She threw her hands up in the air. “Of course it bothers me!”
His head angled slightly to one side.
The temptation to tell him she didn’t trust him was strong. It was also a lie. This was a different situation. He wasn’t her lover, he was her…protector.
Nevertheless, the temptation was there. It trembled on the tip of her tongue. She opened her mouth, almost said it, but then the realisation of what she was about to do hit her.
Deliberate cruelty had never been her thing, lashing out at someone with intention to hurt was not something she did no matter how raw those wounds were when she’d thought them long healed.
It was a shock to discover just how far she’d almost allowed her anger to take her.
Not knowing quite what to say, she strove to appear unaffected, grabbing the kitchen cloth and starting to wipe down the already clean benches.
Damned if the benches didn’t blur a little.
Warmth behind her, a long, muscular arm reaching past her to pluck the cloth away and toss it into the sink. Growing still, she felt him behind her, his heat, his scent, his strength.
All designed to drive her so freaking crazy, to make her traitorous body crave that familiar touch, to feel him pressed against her. Loving her.
Jesus. Why am I thinking this?
Tired, nerves stretched taut, she gritted her teeth, folded her arms, shoulders hunching just a little as she battled a riot of emotions. Battled her treacherous body that just wanted to sway back into that memorable embrace, let him hold her, support her, keep her safe.
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