by E. L. Todd
We finally said goodbye then went our separate ways. My arm was still around her waist as we walked down the sidewalk. She had a tiny waist—like super tiny. I could pick her up and throw her around if I really wanted to. “You did a good job tonight.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re worth every penny. They were totally in love with you.”
“They’re nice people.”
“To you, maybe…”
“They just care about you…but struggle to show it in a good way.”
“Make excuses for them. I don’t care.” I headed toward my apartment without thinking. “Can I walk you home?”
“You can take me back to the office.”
“Seriously?” I stopped walking. “You’re really that scared to tell me where you live? I’m not a weirdo.”
“That’s up for debate…” There was a teasing look in her eyes. “You’re working so hard to find out where I live.”
“Not because I’m a serial killer. I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me. What happened to make you this way?”
The playfulness quickly evaporated. “Want to walk me to the office or not?”
“Honestly, I’d rather invite you back to my apartment so I can teach you to play guitar.”
“What if I don’t want to learn?” she challenged.
“How does this work exactly?” I asked. “Do I have you until midnight or until the date is over?”
“Midnight.”
“Then let’s go back to my place and hang out.”
“You want to hang out with me?” she asked in surprise.
“Why wouldn’t I? You’re sexy as hell and you’re cool. Besides, I paid you to play with me so that’s what you’re going to do.”
She cringed.
“Okay, that came out wrong. But you know what I mean.”
“Well, you did pay for my time.”
“Sweet. Now let’s go.”
***
We sat on the couch and I held the guitar in my lap. “What do you want to hear?”
“Depends.” She crossed her legs. “What can you play?”
“Anything.”
She pressed her lips tightly together. Then she smiled broadly like she had an evil idea.
“No Katy Perry.”
“Dammit. How did you know?”
“It was written all over your face. Now pick something worth playing.”
“How about Bob Dylan?”
My face melted into a smile. “Very good…” I felt the strings with my fingers and began to play. I wasn’t nervous to play in front of people. I was never nervous to do anything in front of anyone. Perhaps it was a gift. Or perhaps I just didn’t care what anyone thought of me. I sang the lyrics and watched my fingers move across the neck and hit the chords. Alessandra sat quietly beside me and just watched everything I did. A mesmerized look came over her face, and she seemed to be somewhere else, just listening to the song.
I finished playing, and when the last string died, it was quiet in the apartment. Somehow, it was quieter than before I started playing. I kept the guitar on my lap as I watched her expression.
“That was beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
“You have a real talent.”
“Thanks.” I felt my cheeks tint slightly.
“You must score a lot of chicks like that.”
“I score chicks regardless.”
She rolled her eyes. “Have you ever tried being humble?”
“I’m not even sure what that word means.”
“You wouldn’t understand even if I explained it to you.”
“Would you like to hear another one?”
“Yes.”
“What should I play next?”
“Do I get to pick?” she asked.
“Yep. You’re the DJ for the night.”
“Hmm…Paul McCartney.”
“Excellent.” I started playing my favorite tune.
Alessandra listened to me silently, that dazed look on her face again.
I liked seeing her stare at me like that. Her full lips were slightly parted like she wanted to sing along, and her eyes were heavy but full of interest. Her legs were crossed, and her thighs were toned from running—I could tell. She was one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen, and it was a privilege to see her watch me play.
When I finished the song, she stirred slightly like she just left a trance. “You’re so clean with the strings.”
“I’ve been playing for a long time. You should let me teach you.”
“It’s a little intimidating.”
“I’m the least intimidating person in the world.” I nudged her in the side. “Come on. It’ll be fun. We can start a band together.”
“A two person group?” she asked. “Wouldn’t we need a drummer?”
“I can play the drums. You can be the lead guitarist.”
She laughed. “People would throw tomatoes at us.”
“Would not.” I set the guitar down then leaned back. “Well, my parents loved you.”
“I could tell,” she said. “How long do we have to keep this up?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “But at least for a few months.”
“Well, they’re nice. Be grateful for that.”
“I guess.” I turned in my seat and stared at her.
“What?” She caught my look.
“Nothing.” I didn’t know what to say or how to explain what I was thinking.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
“We’re having a conversation. I’m supposed to look at you.”
“Yes, look. Not stare.”
“You don’t like it when I stare at you?” I asked.
“It’s a little creepy…that’s why I won’t tell you where I live.” She gave me a teasing smile.
“I’m an artist. I appreciate beautiful things.”
She returned my gaze without blinking.
“Is this payback?” I asked with a laugh.
“Yep.” She held my gaze without looking away.
“You can stare at me all you want. It’s a compliment.”
She gave me an irritated look. “So cocky.”
“I have a lot to be cocky about.”
“Like a pierced dick?”
I grinned. “You’ve been thinking about it ever since I told you about it, huh?”
Her cheeks flushed slightly. “I admit it’s interesting…”
“You know why chicks like it so much?”
“Why?”
“Because the metal ball rubs against your G-spot,” I explained. “And the girls go crazy. I don’t have to work nearly has hard to make them come.”
Alessandra looked away but there was still redness in her cheeks.
“So…do you have a boyfriend?” She had to. There was no way in hell a perfect woman like her was single. She had the legs of a supermodel and the ass of a nectarine. If I saw her in a bar, I’d definitely give her my best moves until she was on my sheets.
“No.”
No? No fucking way. “Are you sure?”
“I think I would know if I were seeing someone…”
“It’s just…how is that possible?”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe you don’t realize it but you’re pretty perfect. You’re gorgeous—on the inside as well as the outside.”
She tucked her hair behind her ear. “You hardly know me.”
“I’m really good at reading people. I know you well enough.”
“Well…that’s sweet of you to say.”
“You won’t stay single long,” I said. “Not with legs like that.”
She smiled slightly but it didn’t seem genuine.
“What’s your story?” I asked.
“Meaning?”
“When was your last relationship?”
“You’re paying for my time,” she said. “We don’t need to talk about me.”
“I wouldn’t have asked
unless I wanted to know.”
She sighed then looked away. “It’s kind of hard for me to talk about…”
I knew this was going to be a sad story and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear it. “There’s no judgment here.”
“Well…I was with this guy for about a year and I was really happy…”
He cheated on her. That’s where the story ended. Who would be stupid enough to cheat on Alessandra? There was no way in hell a guy could find someone better.
“Then my appendix burst and I needed emergency surgery. I didn’t have health insurance and the surgery was a lot. There was other damage because I’d waited so long.”
That’s not where I expected the story to go.
“The surgery was twenty-five grand and I didn’t have that kind of money. I didn’t know what to do and the collectors kept calling me so…”
I was sitting on the edge of my seat.
“I decided to strip—short term. I just needed to earn the cash to pay the bill. I didn’t tell anyone…but Tony walked inside and caught me in the act. He left me without looking back, saying I was a whore for getting naked in front of people…that was four months ago.”
Was she serious? He just left her? “What a fucking asshole.”
“I told him why I did it but he wouldn’t listen to me.”
“What the fuck was he doing in there to begin with?” I snapped. “Talk about a damn hypocrite.”
“He was with his friends…” Her eyes were downcast.
“That’s unacceptable. He had no right to be mad at you.”
She fidgeted with her hands. “I don’t know…”
“You did what you had to do to survive.” I did much worse things overseas. There were things I’d never speak of. But I didn’t have a choice. I had to kill or be killed. Sometimes things weren’t always black and white. Situations were complicated and existed in shades of gray. “If he judges you for that, then he’s a piece of shit. You needed to pay for the surgery and you didn’t know what else to do. He had no right to make you feel bad about that.”
“I guess…”
“Don’t let him bring you down. It’s a good thing he left anyway because you’re too good for him.”
“Yeah?” She looked to me for assurance. “You don’t think I’m a whore…for doing that?”
“No. Absolutely not. I think he’s a pig for walking into that strip club to watch girls get naked then turning around and calling you names for being on the stage. That’s low.”
“I guess I should have told him the truth but…I was afraid of how he would react. And I had almost made all the money I needed. If I just had another weekend, he wouldn’t have known.”
I shook my head. “You should love people no matter what they do, the good and the ugly. You should stand by their side and support them, not desert them. You aren’t the one who should feel ashamed. He should.”
She took a deep breath and released it. “It’s nice to hear that for once…”
I put my arm around her and pulled her close to me without thinking. “I think more highly of you now that you told me that.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
She rested her head on my shoulder. “Thank you…”
“Of course.” I ran my hand up and down her back to comfort her. The dress she wore was thin, and I could feel all the small muscles in her back. She was thin enough that I could feel her spine. “Don’t let him make you feel bad. You did nothing wrong.”
“He would hate me even more if he knew what I was doing now.”
“What’s wrong with it? You’re helping people. You’re definitely making my life easier.”
“When I tell people what I do, they still assume I’m a prostitute.”
“Then correct them. Because you aren’t.”
She leaned against me and fell silent. Her hand rested near my thigh, and her fingers grazed my jeans. Her deep breathing slowly decreased until she was calm.
I knew better than anyone what it was like to be ridiculed for doing something society didn’t tolerate. It was a pain in the ass, and people needed to get off their high horses and mind their own business. We lived in a sexist world and it wasn’t fair.
She finally sat up and left my shoulder. “Thanks…I needed that.”
“Anytime.” It was pretty lame to make her feel bad about something she had little control over. What else was she supposed to do? Be poor for the rest of her life and have bad credit like I did? She made the right decision.
“Well, it’s midnight. I guess I should go…”
I didn’t want her to go. It was nice hanging out with her. I felt like I had a new friend—a really hot one. “Let me walk you home.”
“You can walk me to the office.”
“But then you’re just going to walk home when I leave.”
“Exactly,” she said. “Which is why you should just leave me on my own.”
I wasn’t the nicest guy in the world but I knew better than to let a beautiful woman walk home alone in New York City at midnight. “That doesn’t sit right with me. I can’t let you go dressed like that. There are murderers and rapists out there. No one will look at you twice if I’m next to you.”
“Thanks for offering, but I’ll really be fine.”
The stubborn man inside me was coming out. “Look, I swear I’m not a stalker. I’m going to walk you home, right up to your door and watch your beautiful ass walk inside, and then I’m going to go.”
Her eyes burned in fire. “Excuse me?”
“If I really was some kind of weirdo, keep in mind that you’ve been in my apartment alone with me…” I looked at my watch. “For three hours now. If I were going to do something creepy, I would have done it by now. And have you seen me? A guy this good-looking doesn’t need to resort to weird shit to get laid. So, just chill out and let me walk you.”
“Why are you being so stubborn about this?”
For a lot of reasons. “I’ve seen shit. Just leave it at that.”
“What kind of shit?”
“Stuff that will make you afraid of the dark.” I’d invaded cities and villages during my tour, and the things I’d seen there made me proud to be an American. Women were second-class citizens and raped on a daily basis. They were held on…I couldn’t even finish the thought. “Just trust me when I say you don’t want to know. I know you feel safe in your city but you are much safer with me than you are alone.”
She stared at me with calculating eyes.
“At least compromise with me. Let me walk you to your building. I won’t go inside so I won’t know what apartment you’re in. That’s fair.”
“You could just read the list of names on the intercom outside.”
I rolled my eyes. “Seriously, why are you paranoid like this?”
Her eyes filled with sadness. “Because I don’t trust people. I’m sorry. You seem like a really good guy and I’m sure you are. But I’ve been wrong before…”
What did that mean? “Did someone hurt you?”
She lowered her gaze. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
That was as good as a yes. “I give you my word I would never, ever hurt you. I have nothing but respect for you. I won’t be able to sleep tonight unless I know you got there safely. I would ask you to call me but I know you won’t give me your number. And if you don’t call me, I’ll have no way of making sure you’re okay.”
“Just let it go.”
“No!” I rose to my feet and felt my anger rise. “Alessandra, do you want to see me beg? I’m not above that.”
She sighed then stood up. “Fine. You obviously aren’t going to let this go.”
I relaxed when I finally got my way. “I know you’re just being cautious, which I think is smart, but you don’t need to be cautious with me. I understand you don’t know me that well but you know me well enough. Just trust your instincts on this.”
She grabbed her clutch from the coffee table then headed to the door.
I grabbed my wallet and walked out with her. We left my building then headed up the sidewalk together. People passed us, hardly visible in the street lamps. It was unusually quiet and there wasn’t much traffic.
“Thank you.” Those were words I didn’t say often, only when I truly meant them.
“You’re welcome.” She crossed her arms over her chest like she was cold.
I hooked my arm around her waist so my body would keep her warm. She moved closer into my side like she needed the touch. “So, where do you live?”
“A few blocks from the park.”
“Nice area.”
“I don’t have any complaints.”
Her waist was so tiny I could wrap my arm around it twice. “Have you lived here all your life?”
“Yep.”
“Where are your parents?”
“They live here too. I don’t see them much.”
“Not close?”
“No, not really.”
I didn’t ask her any more questions so it wouldn’t seem like I was prying. “I know I come off a bit…harsh but I mean it in a good way.”
She stared at me with unreadable eyes.
“I’ve seen a lot of people get hurt and I just…can’t stand it. I guess a part of me will always be a soldier, and I need to protect people—especially someone I care about. I know men are pigs, and I know people can be evil. They’ll take advantage of you the second your guard is down. It’s cruel, but it’s the truth. I would never want that to happen to you. That’s why I need to walk you home.” I faced forward again and watched the neon signs of the city flash on and off.
“I know, Ash.”
At least she understood.
We approached her building then I walked her inside. She lived on the third floor and had a view of the street corner. I walked her to her door, and when she fished her keys out of her clutch, I dropped my embrace.
I put my hands in my pockets while I waited for her to get inside.
She continued searching in her clutch. The sound of loose change moved around. She paused and grew flustered. Then she opened another flap of her wallet.
“Everything okay?”
“My keys aren’t here…”
“Did you leave them inside?”
“No…” She grabbed the handle and jiggled it. “It’s locked…which means I locked it before I left.”
“Did you leave them at the restaurant?”
