Bess took her place beside Anita while Dr. Walker ate with the family. Robert brought in another few loads of wood before leaving to take the doctor back into town and drop the boys off at the schoolhouse. All day Bess watched over Anita. That night she and Robert took turns staying up to keep the fire going and the kettle full.
For several weeks, Anita seemed to hover between being awake and sleeping, but the bright red spots of color from the fever never left her pale cheeks. Each day she appeared more frail than the day before.
Bess tried to keep her quiet because she wouldn’t cough as much when she was quiet. But when the doctor visited he explained that the cough was what kept the fluid from filling her lungs. After that, the family actually tried to get Anita to cough, but as she weakened, the coughs became further and further apart. She had stopped trying to talk at all because talking always made her cough uncontrollably.
One evening, as Bess was filling the kettle on the stove, she heard a weak sound behind her. Turning toward the sofa she was overjoyed to see Anita’s eyes open and focused on her. Her eyes had been closed for so long Bess was surprised to see them open and focused.
“Did you say something, Anita?” She set the bucket down and went over next to Anita.
“Thank you, Bess. I just said thank you.” Anita’s whisper was so faint that Bess had to lean close and watch her lips to know what she was saying.
“Oh, Anita, I have done nothing but pray for you. Are you feeling better?”
“I think so, Bess. Just very weak.”
“Anita, let me bring in some hot broth and bread. Do you think you could sit if I help you? Would you try to eat?”
“I’ll try” was all she said before Bess scurried off to the kitchen to warm some broth and cut a slice of bread and butter it. But by the time Bess returned, Anita was sleeping soundly again, and Bess couldn’t rouse her.
When Robert came downstairs from tucking the children into their beds, Bess told him of the conversation and asked if he could awaken Anita so Bess could feed her the warm broth. When they both neared the sofa, they were surprised to see a serene smile on Anita’s lips. The drawn look was gone from her face, and she looked so peaceful, they hesitated to awaken her. But when Bess reached to touch Anita’s cheek, it was cold. Robert touched her hand at the same time and felt the cold hand as it lay white and still on her breast. The labored breathing had ceased.
Robert gave an agonizing groan as Bess sank to the floor in front of Anita’s couch. Robert walked over to stare out into the night, while Bess sat weeping silently on the floor. Both felt too numb to think what to do. Their happy lives had just taken a horribly ugly twist, for which they felt totally unprepared.
Chapter 10
Bess felt numb. Somehow she managed to care for the children and home while preparations were made for the funeral. The boys seemed frightened and lost, but little Anna amazed them all. When the rest of them were thinking of how bereft their lives would be without Anita, Anna was thinking how wonderful it was that her mommy was seeing and talking to Jesus. The child didn’t feel sorry for herself at all but was so filled with pure love for her mother that all she could do was rejoice for her. It was the most amazing thing Bess had ever seen.
What alarmed Bess the most was her own anger. All the kind words friends offered, all the supportive phrases spoken to her from her church family flew right over her head and missed her heart entirely. She became so angry in her heart that she could not cry. She felt cold and alone and hard inside.
Bess had known Anita for less than a year, yet Anita had become such a vital part of her life that the loss was overwhelming. She tried to pray but didn’t even know what to say. She just kept thinking, Why? Why Anita? Why did she have to go? There was so much I wanted and needed to learn from her. Why, why, WHY?
Was God even hearing her groanings and prayers? He seemed so far away, and Bess didn’t know how to reach Him. If she was honest, she wasn’t sure she wanted to reach Him. What kind of God would allow the death of one so gracious, kind, and giving as Anita and leave this young family without a mother? Why would God give the hope of another child, then take it along with the mother? What could possibly be good about this?
They had the funeral at the church on a cold, sleeting morning. Bess could not even listen to Pastor Lewis’s message because of the anger in her heart. She wanted answers, but she wanted them from God. Suddenly it felt like someone had turned off the lights and the heat. The world felt cold and dark, and Bess felt all alone.
Clara, Rebecca, and Marita all tried to comfort her. She went through the motions of conversations and tried to say the right words, but she still felt cold and hard inside. She even tried to reason with herself, to no avail.
As the four friends walked back toward the wagons after the burial, Bess suddenly saw the Sheldon family all together, and she was not with them. She felt she did not belong there any longer. She couldn’t stay in that house without Anita. It could ruin Robert’s reputation. That’s when she realized she had lost not only Anita but her family also.
Bess looked around her quickly. What was she to do? Where could she go?
“What is it, Bess?” Rebecca asked.
Bess turned to look her in the face. “Rebecca, I cannot stay with the Sheldons any longer. I want to, but people would talk about me living there, with Robert not having a wife. With my background I’m afraid that would cause talk about that good man. What am I to do? Where am I to go?”
They had come to the front steps of the church, and Bess sat down hard. Putting her face in her hands, she groaned. “Why has God done this to me?”
The other women sat down with her. Marita said, “Bess, we could put another bed in the room where Clara is staying and you could stay with us.”
But Rebecca quickly offered, “Bess, why don’t you move back with us? We could even use some help in the store again. Would you be interested in helping us?”
Suddenly a tiny glimmer of light ignited in Bess’s cold heart. God was still caring for her.
Almost as though reading her mind, Marita said softly, “Bess, even when we feel all hope is gone and we don’t understand the workings of God, He is still working on our behalf. He will never forsake us. We don’t understand why He took Anita home, but we can trust Him and know without a doubt that He has a purpose and will work for our good through even this tragedy. He has not left you, Bess. Don’t pull away from Him. Just trust Him.”
Tears slowly coursed down Bess’s face. She had been too angry to cry since she had wept the night of Anita’s death. She had not wept during the service and burial, but now the tears came. She couldn’t speak. Her mind was numb and icy, but the tears were flowing. It was as though she were thawing from the inside out. She dropped her face into her hands and wept until she lost all track of time. Without saying or thinking a word, she knew she had submitted her heart once again to God’s will. And she knew that God knew also and would continue to provide for her.
As the tide of tears subsided, and Bess’s mind returned her to the present, she felt small gentle pats on her head. She looked up to see little Anna standing there, with tears running down her pudgy cheeks. “Don’t cry, Miss Bess. God will take good care of Mommy. And God will take care of us, too, Miss Bess. Don’t be sad.”
Bess wrapped her arms around the little girl, pressing her face into the silken hair and soft neck. “I know He will, Anna. I know He will. But we will miss her so.”
“You know, Miss Bess,” Anna whispered, “every time I miss Mommy, I just thank God that He gave us you. Then I don’t miss her quite so much.”
The women were all speechless. Such wisdom from one so young. Such a trusting heart. Finally Bess said to the child, “Anna, God has much He can teach me through you. Thank you, sweetheart.”
Robert seemed to be in a daze since Anita’s death. Pastor Lewis tried to help with things he needed to remember to do for the children. Robert felt completely abandoned when he thought about Bess mo
ving out, but he knew in his heart it was the right thing for her to do, and he was quick to thank her for the way she had cared for Anita and the family.
Paul was sad and seemed to be burdened beyond his years when he told her good-bye, but Conner and Philip and Anna clung to her. They could not understand why she couldn’t stay with them. They loved her, and Bess knew they felt totally abandoned. If it had not been that she cared about Robert’s reputation, Bess would have thrown propriety to the wind and stayed to care for the children. But Robert had become a good friend, and she could not do that to him.
However, with Rebecca’s encouragement, she told the children that she would come out to their house on Friday to do their laundry and clean the house. Then, if their father approved, they could ride back with her and stay with her until Sunday.
When Rebecca came for her, Bess looked back to wave as they drove away from the farm, but her heart was nearly broken in two by the sad faces of the children as they waved.
Why must life be so difficult? Bess wondered. Why must we struggle so on this earth?
Chapter 11
Bess settled into life during her first week with Rebecca and Jason. But she found that, in spite of having people around most of the time, she had never been so lonely. She missed the Sheldon family desperately. Life was good, and she was busy and felt good about helping Rebecca and Jason, but her spark had been snuffed out. The perpetual sadness in her very core was untouched by anything or anyone.
Each day of the week, Bess worked to help out in the Taylors’ store. The town was growing rapidly, and Jason and Rebecca had added much inventory to the store, but their space was limited so it had become crowded and disorganized. After Rebecca complained about the inconvenience of the crowded aisles a couple of times, Bess decided to think of a remedy.
She suggested to Jason and Rebecca that they build a couple of half-walls through the main part of the store, with shelves on either side as well as the top. If the walls were only waist or shoulder height, they could stack things on the shelves and still be able to see throughout the store. It would give more organizational options and make items easier to access while not making the store seem closed in and dark.
Jason and Rebecca loved the idea. So that very evening, while Jason was cutting the lumber for the first half-wall, Bess and Rebecca cleared out the space. While they were moving things, Bess organized the goods. Many items could be placed in baskets that would sit in rows on the shelves, keeping things from falling off and keeping it organized also.
They worked late into the night and rose early the next morning to finish organizing that section of the store before they opened to the public for the day. Throughout the day, when she had the time, Bess continued to organize and move items with Rebecca’s blessing, making ready for another evening of building another half-wall.
In just a few days, the store took on a whole new look. Jason and Rebecca were very pleased with the easy accessibility of the goods, and the customers seemed to enjoy the changes also. And it actually created a bit more space around the stove for the ones who came in to play checkers and visit there.
The best part was that it kept Bess really busy. She hardly had time to miss the children or count the days until the weekend with them. Jason had a fun idea at one point. He suggested that they pay the children a bit to help them organize and put away some of the inventory. It would give them something to do on Saturday that they could all work together on and would benefit the store also.
On Friday, Bess borrowed Jason and Rebecca’s wagon to go to the Sheldon farm. She was eager to be with the children once again and to see how they were getting along.
When she arrived, there was no one at home. Bess assumed Robert had taken Anna with him and taken the boys to the school. So she went on in and started making the beds and boiling water for the wash.
When Robert and Anna arrived sometime later, Bess had opened all the curtains, cleaned the big kitchen, and had a pot of something very appetizing and aromatic simmering on the back of the stove while bread dough was rising in the big crock on the hearth. She was working away at the washing on the big table. The room was steamy and warm, and the fragrance of the simmering soup, mixed with the clean smell of lye soap and the soft sound of Bess humming as she scrubbed on the washboard, felt like a breath of fresh air as they entered the cheery room.
“Oh, Miss Bess, it feels like we finally came home. Our house didn’t feel like home all week until you came.” Anna was wreathed in smiles and dimples as she ran at Bess with her arms open wide for hugging.
Robert ducked his head quickly as Bess turned toward them, but not before she saw his quiet smile. “Thanks for coming out, Bess. I guess I’ll be going on out to the barns now.”
“I’m glad I could come to help, Robert. It feels good to be here once again, and to see my dear Anna. And I can hardly wait until school is out, when I can see the boys, too. Lunch will be ready before long if you want some hot soup and warm bread.”
Again he ducked his head. He said nothing, but his smile spoke volumes. He was glad for her help also, and Bess was glad she could help them out and be with this family once again.
Years earlier Robert had strung a couple of ropes high across the room in front of the fireplace to serve as clotheslines in the winter months. Bess had all the clean-smelling wash hung neatly on the lines when he came in for lunch. He hung his hat on the peg by the door as Bess took crusty loaves from the oven. Anna hummed as she carefully poured glasses of frothy milk for them all. Bess smiled. She could tell Robert’s spirits were lifted, and he ate hungrily.
While they finished lunch, Bess told them all about working at the store. Anna asked lots of questions as Bess shared stories of building the walls and moving all the goods in the store. Bess also asked questions about their week. Robert had learned to cook some things when Anita was down with polio, so they were getting by. But Anna assured Bess that the house felt empty with her gone.
After cleaning up their lunch dishes, Bess suggested to Anna that they make cookies while they waited for the clothes to finish drying. That suggestion met with excited approval, and the two began at once. Anna chattered more than Bess had ever heard her chatter. Oh, it was so good to be together with these dear ones that she loved so much!
When half the cookies were baked, she saw the boys coming from school. She filled a plate with the warm cookies and poured three tall glasses of milk. When the boys entered, they squealed with delight when they saw her and were so busy hugging her they didn’t even see the treat on the table.
Oh, what a merry kitchen it was while the boys ate their cookies and drank the milk. They told Bess about the whole week, and there was so much laughter and noise that Bess could hardly think. But she enjoyed watching them and listening to them and just being with them.
While the rest of the cookies finished baking and the boys prepared to help their dad outdoors, Bess took the heated irons and began the ironing. For the rest of the afternoon, she ironed all that needed pressing. When she put the clean clothes away upstairs, she gathered what the children would need for the weekend and went downstairs. She had made a large potpie that was bubbling in the oven and spreading its fragrance throughout the house. A cheery feeling warmed the inside of her as she finished the supper preparations.
Dusk had come quickly, but she was thankful for the full moon to light their way back to town. All the same, Bess felt a heaviness of heart about having to leave this cheerful place. Having the children with her helped, but it made her sad for Robert that he would be alone for a couple of days. When she asked him about it, he reassured her that he’d be fine knowing they’d be back home soon and that they were well cared for and happy. And so they headed back to the town, singing and laughing and talking all the way and just enjoying being together once again.
Chapter 12
Life did settle into somewhat of a busy routine. One day while Bess was working at the Taylors’ store, a lady from the town stopped in
to chat with Rebecca. The two women had Bess trapped in the corner, so she continued folding and organizing fabrics while they chatted.
Mrs. Tergoza told Rebecca that she and her husband wanted to move to be nearer their married children but had been unable to sell their large house on Main Street. They needed the funds from the sale to build a home when they relocated. She asked Rebecca to mention to anyone she knew who might be interested that they were selling at a very reasonable price.
Bess couldn’t think which house it was that the lady spoke of, but she remembered Clara was looking to start a boardinghouse. She wondered why Rebecca didn’t mention that possibility, but she didn’t want to interrupt or question Rebecca in the lady’s presence. So she continued folding and organizing the fabrics until the two ladies moved on.
Sometime later, when Bess and Rebecca were alone for a few minutes, Bess said, “Rebecca, I overheard the lady earlier this morning telling you she and her husband wanted to move nearer their children.”
“Yes, Mrs. Tergoza. She and her husband have a large family, but all of their children have grown up and moved farther west. Their father’s banking business did not appeal to the children, so they moved to the Dakotas where farmland is rich and plentiful.”
“Where do the Tergozas live? She mentioned they had a large house for sale. Do you know which house it is?”
Rebecca looked at her wide-eyed. “Bess, I didn’t even consider that you might be interested. I’m so sorry. But I can take you there if you want to see it. Oh, I would hate to lose you from here…”
“No, not for me,” Bess said with a smile and a hug. “I was thinking of Clara’s dream of a boardinghouse. The lady said the house was large and was on Main Street, so I thought it might work well for a boardinghouse for Clara.”
“Oh, my, where is my head these days? Of course it might work. It’s only a couple of blocks up the street from us, on the other side of the street. Let’s go visit Clara and the Lewises this evening and mention it to her. Now that we have the railroad station with a train stopping here, a boardinghouse should have no problem finding boarders at all.”
The Long Road Home Romance Collection Page 17
