‘Not to worry, the fruit takes up all the space,’ Paula said, smiling up at him. She looked pale, exhausted and yet also indescribably happy and relieved. ‘Aren’t they wonderful?’
‘Yes, they are,’ replied Richard, sitting down on the edge of the bed and taking her hands in his.
‘You see, everything went just fine. But to be honest, if I’d known how long it was going to go on for, I’d have had a Caesarean. Anaesthetic, wake up in an hour and the babies are there.’
‘And I couldn’t do anything to help, my darling. Only wait.’
‘I hear you actually drank beer with Fritz, or so Sister Mathilde told me. She was not amused! Told me I should clip your wings a bit!’
‘Sister Mathilde is a horrible sneak. And she didn’t even tell you why I was drinking!’
‘Dearest Richard, there’s no need to justify a thing. I can imagine what it was like. You phoned Fritz, all worried, and he brought moral support in the form of beer.’
‘Exactly.’
‘Fritz is a good friend. I’d love him to be Georg’s godfather.’
‘Good idea.’ He kissed her on the forehead. ‘I love you, Paula.’
‘Perhaps you could leave me now. I’m so exhausted.’
‘Then have a really good sleep to recover, my darling.’
Fritz was waiting for him at the door.
‘OK? Shall we go for another drink?’
‘Definitely,’ said Richard. Unlike Paula, he felt so lively and cheerful that he couldn’t think of anything worse than spending the rest of the evening alone in the flat. Life was too good for that!
PART TWO
The Third Reich 1933–1945
Chapter 21
In the elections on 31 July 1932, the NSDAP emerged the strongest party, with 37.3 per cent of the vote. On 6 November, there were further elections and once again the Nazis got the most votes: 33.1 per cent.
Richard always followed political developments with great interest, but the birth of his twins just a few days after the July elections meant that his attention was largely taken up by his young family. Emilia was thriving, already responding to her mother’s voice with little babbling noises. Georg was quite different, a placid child showing only a fraction of his sister’s alertness. Richard’s father went so far as to praise what he called the baby boy’s nerves of steel when, unlike his twin, he didn’t flinch when the two guard dogs started barking right next to him. But this merely stirred Richard’s vague feeling that something wasn’t right. Paula tried to reassure him that it was normal for boys to develop less quickly than girls, that it was just more noticeable when you had one of each. Richard wanted so much to believe this and was only too willing to take the good-natured mockery of the family for being overanxious, but it did nothing to allay his fears.
On 30 January 1933, Adolf Hitler became Chancellor. Richard and Paula sat in the kitchen together and listened to the radio as it broadcast the NSDAP victory celebrations. Cheering crowds accompanied speeches by Adolf Hitler and his head of propaganda, Joseph Goebbels.
Even though the children were asleep in the nursery, the noise woke Emilia and she started to cry. Paula went through to see to her and brought her to join them in the kitchen.
‘Turn the radio down a bit, would you, Richard? I’m afraid she doesn’t know what the new Chancellor’s speeches are about.’
‘And what about Georg?’
‘He’s sleeping like an angel, quite oblivious to everything.’ She cradled Emilia in her arms to calm her. ‘Your father would definitely be praising his nerves of steel again now!’
Richard nodded thoughtfully. ‘And what if it’s nothing to do with nerves of steel?’ he said after a while. ‘Have you ever wondered whether he can hear properly?’
Paula stopped rocking Emilia and looked at Richard in amazement. ‘What on earth makes you think that? As his mother, I’d have noticed. He reacts to me whenever I pick him up and talk to him, in just the same way that Emilia does.’
‘He reacts to you when you pick him up. And you talk to him as you do it, of course, but are you sure he can really hear you? He’s never startled by loud noises, is he?’
‘Not every child is immediately startled like that. Richard, he’s quite normal, just a bit quieter than Emilia. Boys need a bit longer – you can see that from the way Emilia can already turn herself from her back to her front but Georg can’t.’
‘Have you ever noticed him showing a typical startle response?’ Richard wouldn’t let it drop.
‘No,’ she conceded after some thought.
‘And do you consider that normal?’
Paula chewed her lower lip. ‘It doesn’t mean anything, Richard. He’s still so little.’
In spite of her defensive remarks, Richard saw his own worries reflected in her.
‘I’m going to check something,’ Richard said, standing up and going to the nursery. Paula followed him, Emilia in her arms.
Georg was still asleep.
‘Georg!’ Richard called his name. No reaction. He leaned closer and shouted out his son’s name again. The child slept on.
‘What do you think of that?’ he asked Paula.
‘He’s a good sleeper and knows it’s you by your voice so he’s not scared. I consider that to be completely normal. All the more so when I think how difficult it can be to wake you! Like father, like son.’
‘All right, then. Something different.’ Richard went into the bedroom, got their huge alarm clock and set it. A deafening ring quickly followed and Emilia started to cry. Georg slumbered on, quite undisturbed.
‘What do you think now? That’s enough to wake anybody.’
Paula had gone pale. ‘I don’t know . . . but if it’s true, why hasn’t it occurred to me before? I should have noticed.’
Richard saw guilt in Paula’s eyes and held her close. ‘I didn’t notice either,’ he consoled her.
‘Yes, but I’m the one with him all day. I was pleased that he’s so calm and put everything else down to the fact that boys develop more slowly. I should have paid him more attention.’
Just then Georg stirred and made a lovely gurgling sound. Richard let go of Paula and picked up his son.
‘Now then, little one? Can you hear what Papa’s saying?’
Georg chuckled in response.
‘So did he hear that?’ Paula asked hesitantly. She put Emilia, now calm again, back in her cradle and looked carefully at her son.
‘I don’t know. Let’s get the little bell, then we can see if he reacts if you ring it behind his head.’
Paula went to fetch the bell while Richard continued to hold Georg and watched him carefully. Now that Georg was awake, he was looking all around, his eyes wide and attentive. But when his mother rang the little bell behind his head, he showed no reaction. It was only when Paula held the toy in front of his face and rang it again that he looked and tried to get hold of it.
‘So did he hear that, or is he just responding to what he sees?’ Paula’s anxiety was now obvious.
Richard placed Georg back in his cradle and picked up Emilia. ‘Now let’s try it with her,’ he said.
Paula rang the bell behind her daughter. Emilia turned her head towards the sound.
Paula’s and Richard’s eyes met as Emilia tried to touch the bell.
‘So it’s true,’ said Paula, shocked. ‘Georg can’t hear.’
Richard nodded. ‘But at least we know and can do something about it.’
‘What are we supposed to do about it if he’s deaf? There’s no treatment.’
‘No,’ Richard acknowledged, ‘but we can learn how to live with it. Perhaps he’s simply hard of hearing – we don’t know yet. And if he really is profoundly deaf, then . . . we’ll teach him the special sign language for deaf mutes.’ He took a deep breath and carried on cradling his daughter.
‘We’ll have to learn it ourselves first.’
‘Then that’s what we’ll do,’ said Richard with determination. ‘Worse
things happen. Fritz and Dorothea would have had a better time if all Gottlieb had suffered from was deafness.’
Richard noticed Paula discreetly wiping away a tear and felt that telltale pricking of the eyes, but wouldn’t give in to it. He would not despair simply because his son couldn’t hear. He would rise to the challenge. Whether Georg was deaf or not, this would not change his love for his son or his desire to give him the best possible start in life.
‘I’ll take Georg to Dr Stamm tomorrow and he can check him again,’ said Paula. ‘If he confirms what we suspect, then I’ll start to investigate where we can learn this sign language for deaf mutes.’
‘Good,’ said Richard. ‘But I don’t like this term “deaf mute”. We both know he can bellow just as well as any little human being! And we’ll put everything into making sure he learns to speak properly so that people who can’t do sign language will be able to understand him. There are plenty of deaf people who can lip-read too. If he learns all that, well, he’ll be able to live almost like anyone else.’
Paula was thinking. ‘Could it be because of the birth? You know, the forceps? He had the marks on his little head for a whole week afterwards.’
‘I don’t know,’ said Richard. ‘But is that important? It is how it is. We can’t change anything. We can only feel hope for the future. He’ll always have things harder than Emilia, but he’ll battle through because we’ll both do everything possible for him.’
‘Do you know, Richard, that’s exactly what I love you for the most. You’re never defeated and, whatever happens, you always manage to bring out the good things, but you don’t lose sight of the difficulties.’
‘Paula, we’ve got two wonderful children. Nothing in the world’s going to change that.’
Chapter 22
The next day Paula set off to consult Dr Stamm. Her old boss had known the twins since they were born, and Paula valued his experience as a paediatrician. He smiled indulgently when she related what they had done and why.
‘At that age you can’t be absolutely certain,’ he said. ‘And sometimes an infant doesn’t respond in the way expected and that can be due to tiredness or sheer lack of interest. After all, little Georg is doing well.’
‘If it had only been the business of the bell or Richard’s voice by his cradle, I wouldn’t have thought anything of it either. But that jangling alarm clock – that really should have woken him up. And now I’m asking myself if it’s a direct result of his birth.’
‘My dear Frau Hellmer, I have never known a case of forceps delivery causing deafness. But let me examine the little fellow.’
First of all, he expertly inspected Georg’s acoustic canals, something which the baby tolerated with remarkable calm.
‘Nothing noteworthy there,’ he remarked.
Then he checked Georg’s hearing ability in much the same way Paula and Richard had done the previous evening. The result was exactly the same. Georg showed no reaction to sounds beyond his field of vision.
Dr Stamm frowned. ‘It’s far too early for a definitive diagnosis. With most children it first becomes noticeable at the age of two or three if they haven’t started talking. I’ve rarely met parents who observe their children as closely as you and your husband, Frau Hellmer. It’s very unusual to entertain doubts like this in such a young baby.’
‘But what do you advise? Even though it’s too soon for a definitive diagnosis, what are we supposed to do? Richard thinks we should learn the special sign language for deaf mutes so that Georg can use it to communicate with the outside world.’
‘Dear Frau Hellmer, you have two options. Either you wait and see how he develops and hope that he suffers only from being hard of hearing, something which can improve over a few months. Or you assume the worst and as a result seize opportunities denied to other, less vigilant parents. Most children born deaf are of average intelligence and possess the anatomical requirements for speech, but because they can’t hear, they can’t grasp how language and speech function, and this is why most remain dumb. However, there is some good research going on at the Institute of Phonetics in Hamburg. I’d advise you to get in touch with Alfred Schär. He teaches at the deaf and dumb school in Bürgerweide and has also made a name for himself in the field of experimental phonetics. I’ll give you the address.’
‘Thank you so much!’
Dr Stamm handed her a note of Schär’s home address and that of the deaf and dumb school. ‘I’m very keen to hear how Georg develops, so please do keep me informed, Frau Hellmer.’
‘Of course, Dr Stamm, sir.’ Paula placed Georg back in the twin pram alongside his sister, took her leave of the doctor and set off for the deaf and dumb school in Bürgerweide.
As she stepped outside flakes of snow danced towards her, so she paused to put up the hood on the pram as well as her own umbrella. A thick layer of snow had covered the pavement over the last hour, making it difficult to push the pram to the tram stop. Fortunately, a young man came to her rescue when the tram arrived and helped her get the pram on board, which required considerable skill, given its width.
From the outside, the deaf and dumb school at Bürgerweide didn’t look different from any other school. When Paula got there, the children were enjoying break and she heard them in the playground, just as high-spirited and boisterous as any other youngsters letting off steam. This sense of normality spurred her on as she hunted for the school secretary and asked if she might see Alfred Schär.
She was lucky. He was there, and he had time to see her.
‘It’s about my son,’ she said, once in the staffroom and seated opposite Schär. It was a bright and friendly room, the window ledges covered with houseplants and cacti, and the walls with framed pictures, probably the product of the school’s art classes.
‘Dr Stamm recommended I come to you after our appointment this morning with Georg.’ She indicated her son in the pram. ‘His twin sister has a clean bill of health but, with Georg, there’s a strong suspicion he may be deaf.’
‘How old is he?’
‘They’ll be six months on 9 February.’
‘That young? And you’ve observed deafness? Is there a family history?’
‘No, everyone in the family’s always enjoyed complete health.’ She summarised the examination carried out by Dr Stamm while Herr Schär listened attentively.
‘I’ve never come across a case of parents noticing deafness this early,’ he conceded.
‘That’s why Dr Stamm felt we should take this opportunity to get the best possible support for Georg, given that we already know about his condition. We want so much for him to grow up feeling normal, but on the other hand we really don’t know anything about dealing with children who are deaf or hard of hearing. My husband thinks we should learn the sign language for deaf mutes.’
‘That’s very much in dispute at the moment,’ explained Schär. ‘Some experts believe it’s better to get the children used to spoken language and lip-reading only. For the hard of hearing, I share that view, but profound deafness is a very different matter. You have to remember that sign language is not simply a question of translating spoken language into gestures, but an independent language with completely different grammar. We have a few pupils here with deaf-mute parents, and they’ve grown up with sign language alone and now show severe grammatical shortcomings when writing anything in their mother tongue. There are two different worlds, Frau Hellmer, and in the end people have to decide whether to choose the world of the well or the world of the deaf mute.’
‘And what if people want to live in both?’
‘Then they have to learn sign language and teach it to their children too. Be warned, though, it’s a protracted process and as time-consuming as learning a foreign language.’
‘Could you recommend someone to teach us privately? We’d pay well for it.’
Schär nodded. ‘I think I know someone suitable. Katharina Felber is a young teacher here at the school and has a very unusual background. She herse
lf enjoys complete health but has a deaf-mute mother, so she learned sign language as a child but at the same time normal voice speech. She lives in both worlds.’
‘She sounds perfect!’
‘If you’d wait just one moment, I’ll see if Fräulein Felber is free. She’s just been on playground duty.’ Schär got up and left the room. He was soon back and brought with him a young woman not long out of school herself. She had long dark hair drawn up into a bun and wore a simple blue dress with a white lace collar, which was just a little too long to be fashionable.
‘Frau Hellmer, this is Fräulein Felber.’
Paula shook hands with the young woman. ‘I’m very pleased to meet you. Has Herr Schär already told you why I’m here?’
‘You and your husband would like to learn sign language.’
‘That’s right. I’ll need to speak to my husband about timings. When would it suit you during the week?’
‘I can fit in with you, Frau Hellmer.’
‘Thank you! I’ll phone you as soon as I’ve discussed it with him. Do you have a telephone?’
‘No, we don’t – my mother’s unable to use one. But you can definitely reach me through the school secretary’s office.’ Her voice was very timid.
‘Then I’ll get in touch here as soon as I’ve talked to my husband about it.’
Richard was very impressed when he heard that evening what Paula had already done and was interested not only in sign language but also in the experimental phonetics that Paula had mentioned in passing.
‘What’s that actually about?’ he asked, but Paula had to confess she hadn’t asked much about that side of things.
‘Maybe you should ask Herr Schär more about it yourself, Richard. He came across very well – an expert, but so humane too. I think the two of you would get on really well.’
‘That’s a good idea. I’ll see if I can reach him by phone in the morning.’
‘What day shall I say to Fräulein Felber, then?’
‘Tuesdays.’
‘Tuesdays? That was quick!’
A Fight in Silence Page 15
