Chuckling as he adjusts, I step inside and gasp at how big his apartment is. “Holy shit, this place is huge!”
He closes the door behind me and squats back into his wheelchair, rolling up beside me. He takes my coat and tosses it on the sofa. “Come, let’s have a tour, shall we?”
Melanie
I FOLLOW HIM as we walk through the foyer, into the living room, past the kitchen, and glance down the hall toward the bedroom. “How did you find this place? I bet it must cost a fortune.”
We make our way back to the living room and I take a seat on the sofa. He parks next to me in his chair. “My uncle and I know the super so he gave me a deal. It’s still pretty expensive but not what you’d expect.”
“No wonder you didn’t want to give this place up. It’s a treasure.”
He laughs at my awe and asks, “Want something to drink?”
Standing up, I turn toward the kitchen. “Oh sure, I can get it.”
His palm stops me in place. “No, I’ll get it. Stay here. What do you want? I have soda, beer, or red wine.”
Insisting on getting it myself, I say, “Roman, I can get my own drink. It’s okay.”
He shakes his head and pleads, “Melanie please, let me do it.”
I nod and sit back down on the couch. “I’ll just have a soda. Thank you.”
He winks at me as he turns toward the kitchen. I check out his pictures on display and see photos of his mother and father along with a few photos of Aunt Maggie and Uncle Vinny. Roman told me earlier this month that he also has a cousin, but they aren’t very close. It’s such a shame. I hear the wheelchair creek up behind me and I spin around to see him handing me a glass of soda.
I smile and bend down to kiss his cheek. “Thank you.”
“Welcome. You want to stand outside for a bit while dinner’s cooking?”
I glance around. “You have a balcony?”
He nods and turns toward the bedroom. “It’s a small one, but it’s another reason why I stay.”
As I follow him toward the bedroom, the aroma of garlic and melted cheese fills the kitchen. My stomach grumbles as the sweet smell fills my nose. “What are you making?”
Entering the room, he answers, “Homemade penne vodka.”
I secretly jump for joy, as it’s one of my favorites. “I’m so lucky to find someone who can cook.”
He snarls in front of me. “Ah, so that’s why you stick around.”
Stopping him from wheeling forward, I bend down and press my lips to his. Sparks ignite inside me as I feel his hands fumble in my hair. I press my palms against his cheeks, pushing him further inside my mouth. As soon as he starts to pull me on top of him, I step out of his grasp.
Relaxing my body and concentrating on evening out my breathing, we both calm down from our surges of lust. I don’t know why I keep pushing back from these intimate moments. It’s not like I don’t want him, because I do—really do, to the point where I’ve had to resort to cold showers and the use of two fingers to relieve the tension.
He notices my hesitation and passes me, opening the sliding door in his room. The cool winter air blows inside as I look up into the drab sky. “I can’t believe it’s so dark already. What time is it?”
Roman glances at his watch. “Seven thirty. Food will be ready in ten minutes. Come outside for a sec.”
He takes my hand and leads me out onto the balcony. There’s a raised edge where the doorframe slides, so he stands up and leans against it, as he can’t wheel out. Holding my hand he tells me to look up at the stars.
Lifting my head, I’m surprised at how many stars are out tonight. Usually in the city, I can hardly see anything in the sky. With the city lights and the unfortunately rather polluted air, the stars are always dim. I’m only able to see the stars outside of the city, for instance in Connecticut or at Raya and Duke’s house in Long Island. He points toward the biggest shining star and I answer, “You mean the North Star?”
He nods. “Yeah, I know it’s the North Star but I always see it as my parents looking down on me because no matter where I am, anytime I look up, that star is always there, shining bright in the dark sky.”
Listening to him speak, I imagine his parents up there, looking down at us.
“I’ve always thought that since I was a kid. Every time I felt sad or lonely, I climbed up to the roof and stared out. That star was the only one that shined in the vast blanket of darkness. I knew it was them, my parents. Some days, I’d step outside and I’d talk to them, telling them how my day was at school and how Aunt Maggie and Uncle Vinny were doing. I know it probably sounds silly, but in a way, the star kept me going. Knowing that my parents were listening and watching over me made it all just a little bit easier to bear.”
A small tear escapes my eye as he tells me stories of his childhood. I could have never prepared myself for listening to such heartbreak and pain; how he managed to overcome it all completely blows me away. The cold air blows through my hair, causing my body to shiver. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his chest. Our bodies embrace one another, heating each other up right from the core.
We stand outside for a few more minutes until a beep from the oven chimes. He kisses my cheek as he lets go of me, sits back in his chair, and slides the door shut behind me. Dinner awaits us and he instructs me to take a seat while he serves. Leaning over to see what he’s serving, my stomach growls in anticipation. Licking my lips, I can only imagine how good it will taste.
******
Washing my hands in the bathroom, I check my makeup in the reflection. Still looking well kept, I shut the water off and dry my hands. I hear Roman cleaning up the kitchen so I rush out to help him. “Here, let me help please.”
Standing against the counter, he steps aside, allowing me to assist. “Okay.”
I hand him a clean dish as he stacks it away in the cabinet. “Dinner was amazing. I loved it. Maggie taught you well.”
“Actually Uncle Vinny taught me that recipe.”
My jaw drops. “Really? Wow, I never saw him as a cook.”
He chuckles at my astonishment. “Yeah, he has hidden talents.”
Cleaning up the rest of the dishes, I wipe down his counter, ensuring everything is back to normal.
He points toward the fridge. “Can you pass me the bowl in the fridge? You can’t miss it.”
“Okay.” Opening the fridge, I peek inside and see a white mixing bowl that’s filled with chocolate. I take it out and show him. “This one right?”
He nods. “Yup, that’s it. Place it on the counter and I’ll get the rest of the ingredients.”
Puzzled, I raise my brow. “Ingredients? What are we making?”
He grabs the flour and a few other ingredients, placing them on the counter. He steps toward me, kissing my lips before he answers. “Only your favorite thing in the whole world.”
My eyes pop as my face lights with excitement. “We’re going to make éclairs?”
His finger presses against my lips as he shushes me. He whispers, “Don’t tell Maggie.”
Fifteen minutes later, a set of chocolate éclairs bake in the oven. Roman sets the timer and says it’ll take about thirty minutes for them to rise. Licking the chocolate off my fingers, I turn on the kitchen faucet to wash my hands. I see Roman get a rag out to wipe the counter but as he stretches across the flour knocks over and spills out.
Quickly standing the bag right side up before any more spills out he cusses, “Shit.”
Laughing at his clumsiness, I grab a rag to clean it up. “It’s okay. Shit happens. The flour could have gotten all over your clothes instead. Be happy it’s only on the counter.”
He stares at me for a quick second as a huge smile curves his lips. Curious at what he’s thinking, I ask, “What are you up to?”
He shrugs, inching closer to me. “Oh nothing. Just thinking about having a little fun.”
“What do you—”
At that moment, he takes a scoop full of flour and
throws it all over my shirt. I gasp as it hits me, powdering all over my clothing and face. He bursts into laughter as I stand there shocked, not quite believing he’d really done what he’d just done.
He continues to laugh. “You have got to see your face right now.”
“Does it look something like this?” I quickly grab a handful of flour and dump it on top of his head. It cascades down his face and trickles down his clothes, falling to the floor. My laughter erupts at my amusement.
He shakes his head slowly. “It’s on woman.”
Instantly, both of us grab handfuls and explode into an all-out flour war. The white powder is tossed all over the kitchen as we aim for each other. Shrieks of laughter echo throughout the apartment as we pummel each other with handful after handful of flour. I’m pretty sure I got some in my mouth and up my nose, along with every other nook and cranny of my body. Once the bag is empty of flour, I glance down at my clothes, seeing it’s all over me. I rub my hands to try and shake it off, but it’s no use.
Roman smirks. “It won’t come off like that.”
Still trying to shake it off, I ask, “Then how will I clean my clothes?”
His silence catches me off guard as I look up at him. His face is covered in flour, but his dark eyes are still perfectly visible. He inches forward, reaches his hand up, and touches my face. I feel his finger slide down my cheek, wiping away a trail of flour. That same finger glides across my lips as he stares at them, breathing heavy. My body freezes as the nerves come crawling back.
His mouth opens as his whispers softly, “Melanie I’m—”
Panic takes over my body and I step away from him. “Sorry, I have to use the bathroom.”
I rush out of the kitchen and slam the bathroom door behind me. Looking at myself in the mirror, I notice all the flour so I turn on the faucet and wipe my face clean. Drying myself with a towel, I think back and try to figure out what the hell is wrong with me.
It’s Roman, why am I always running? I want to be with him, don’t I? Of course I do. Pacing back and forth in the bathroom, my mind spins as nerves and panic threaten to make me sick. Calm down, what’s wrong with you?
He’s obviously showed enough signs that he wants to be with me, but once again, here I am running off in a mode of panic. I’ve never been one to get scared, but that’s what I feel: scared. All the times I’ve put myself out there, it hasn’t ended well for me, but Roman is different; I can feel it. Maybe that’s why I’m even more afraid. Because there’s so much more to lose. I’ve never felt this way about anyone and if I lose it, I don’t think I’ll ever get another chance.
But why is he different? Why do I care so much? I promised myself I wouldn’t end up in the same situation as I had with Easton, all brokenhearted. Staring at myself in the reflection of the mirror, I think back, remembering all the good times Roman and I have shared together these past couple of months.
It started out bumpy but I’m truly happy now. I can’t imagine my life without him. I can’t imagine not knowing he exists. Maybe that’s why Duke, Easton, and all the other relationships didn’t work: because deep down I’ve been waiting for Roman this whole time. He means the world to me because…well, because…
Looking into my eyes in the reflection, a low whisper escapes my lips. “Because I love him.” Pulling the bathroom door open, I rush out into the kitchen to find it’s completely clean. The sound of the TV echoes from the living room so I follow it, finding Roman sitting on the couch.
I tiptoe toward him and quietly sit on the sofa next to him. His face is hard as he avoids eye contact with me. I touch his arm but he pulls it away. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
He looks away and reaches for the wheelchair. “I’m actually tired all of sudden. I need to get some sleep.”
His stern voice sounds a little cold but I push harder. “I could stay and keep you company. It’s still early.”
Sitting in his chair, he wheels toward the bedroom. “No, I think you should leave. I’ll call you later.”
Following him, I stop the chair as he tries to push forward. “But wait, I wanted to talk.”
He twists his head to look at me. His eyes flash with a hint of anger. “Well, I don’t.”
I beg, “But I—”
His voice growls, “Please Melanie, just leave.”
Startled by his cold demeanor, I turn around and rush toward the foyer. Putting on my coat, I grab my purse and dash out the door, slamming it behind me. Waiting at the elevator, I silently beg. Please come after me.
As the elevator door opens, I step inside and cry softy as the door closes behind me.
******
Glancing at the clock in the hallway, I see it’s three thirty. Roman should be in therapy right now. Running my normal hourly checks with my patients, he’s all I can think about at the moment. All day, my mind has been somewhere else; I can’t focus on anything but him.
It’s been two days since I left his apartment and he still hasn’t returned my calls. I had the notion to go by there yesterday, but thought against it. I know why he’s upset; I’m not an idiot. But if he’d only give me the chance to explain myself, then we could just get back to normal.
Cleaning up the bed sheets, I gather fresh linen from the storage closet and dress the bed. Wiping down dressers and bathroom counters, I think of ways to get through to Roman. Hmm, maybe I should ask Maggie. But no, I don’t want to involve her.
Lost in thought, I don’t notice Amanda walk into the room. Her presence startles me as I walk out of the patient’s bathroom. “Shit, you scared me.”
She chuckles. “Sorry. Uh, someone is here to see you. He says it’s urgent.”
“It’s not Roman?”
She shakes her head. “No, I don’t know who it is. Want me to tell him to get lost?”
I toss the trash into the trashcan and wipe my hands clean. “No, I’ll go out there.”
Following her to the nurses station, I see a figure standing there. As I approach, the figure looks familiar, and as he turns around my stomach sinks. I freeze as the man turns around to face me.
His putrid voice causes chills to crawl up my spine. “Hello Melanie.”
I stare at him with hatred and disgust. “Easton.”
Roman
THE BALANCE BEAM trembles underneath my palms as sweat makes it slippery. Losing my grip, Tom steadies my balance. I growl with frustration trying to get my body to walk. I’ve had countless sessions with Tom and each session gets better, but today I’m all over the place. I’ve landed on the ground more times than ever because I can’t focus. It’s been two days since I’ve spoken to her and it’s driving me insane.
Tom notices my frustration and tells me to take a break. Sitting on the soft mats, he sits next to me and breathes out loud. “What’s going on Roman? You’re off today.”
“Sorry, it’s Melanie. I can’t get her out of my mind.”
He questions, “Something happen between you two?”
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I glance at his watch, noticing it’s after three thirty. Usually she’d be here to watch me work, but I guess she’s too busy. “Two days ago, I kind of blew up at her and well, we haven’t talked since.”
“Why did you blow up?”
Glancing at Tom, I ask, “What are you my shrink now too?”
He laughs at my question. “I’m just trying to figure out the source of your problem. If I can find the source and resolve it, then you can clear your mind enough to focus on walking again.”
Letting out a deep sigh I tell him what happened. “She was over my house for dinner and everything was going according to plan. Well, I guess until I almost told her how I feel about her.”
Tom flashes a confused look. “What do you mean almost?”
“I mean, I almost said the words and she literally ran into the bathroom. Like she didn’t want to hear them.”
Tom nods. “Ah, I see. So you’re upset that she rejected you.”
“Well, no. She di
dn’t reject me. After she came out of the bathroom, I asked her to leave.”
He scoffs. “And why was that?”
My voice grows louder as I recall that night. “Because I was pissed and hurt. I don’t know, I felt like she didn’t want me. I thought we had a strong connection. Maybe I’m wrong.”
Tom raises his palm signaling me to pause. “Wait, but you asked her to leave. She didn’t want to right?”
“No, she asked to stay.”
“And has she called or tried to see you since?”
I nod. “She’s left messages and sent texts.”
At that moment, a hard smack swipes across the back of my head. “Ow! What the hell man?” My hand rubs the spot he smacked.
He laughs, standing to his feet. “You’re such an idiot. If she didn’t want to see you then she wouldn’t be calling. All you’re doing right now is causing more damage. You probably just pissed her the hell off and that’s why she hasn’t come to this session yet.”
He helps me to my feet and wheels the chair over for me. “I am an idiot, aren’t I?”
“Yes, very much so. Today’s session is over.” He nods toward the exit. “Go get her.”
Pushing forward toward the exit, I wheel myself down toward the elevators and wait. Rubbing the back of my head where Tom smacked me, I laugh. He really did just knock me upside the head. The elevator door swings open and I roll inside, hitting the floor that Melanie works on.
As the doors open, I glance around for her, hoping to see her in the halls. Hmm, she might be with a patient. I wheel toward the nurses station and see Amanda at her desk.
Closing the distance, I speak up. “Hey Amanda.”
We make eye contact and she yelps out with a smile. “Roman! What are you doing here? Wow, you look great! How’s physical therapy?”
Still looking for Melanie, I respond, “Yeah, it’s fine. Where’s Melanie?”
She looks up toward the waiting area. “Oh, she was just here with some guy.”
Anger seeps in as my blood boils. “What guy?”
Little Moments Page 21
