Tears welled in my eyes, my heart ached, and my chin dropped. He gripped me tighter, knowing how I hated to be seen like that, knowing I’d pull away, try to hide. I wanted to tell him we weren’t bad for each other, or at least he wasn’t for me. I wanted to say that without him in my life I wouldn’t survive. But I couldn’t utter a single word.
“I’m sorry,” he said. He released one hand and cupped the back of my head, pulling it into his chest. “We’ve been friends,” he whispered. “We’ve been…whatever the hell this is.” He paused. “But there’s one thing we haven’t been.”
My head started tiny involuntary shakes into his chest before his other arm came around to my back. He laid his palm flat and gentle and then rubbed up and down. “Don’t shake your head. Don’t start thinking like that. We could try. I’m willing to try if you are.”
I curled my lips under my teeth to stop myself from spitting out a response. To stop before a lie hurt him even more. Even if I owned the truth, words still failed to come out.
My silence told him I was fighting tears. “I mean, who knows, we could end up being like one of those sitcom couples, laughing and playing stupid tricks on each other.” His futile attempts to make me laugh still touched me. “Gray,” he said, grabbing my face and pulling it up to him. “Say something.”
“We…can’t. I…can’t.”
Defeated, his eyes closed; his hands fell to his sides. “Right.”
He turned and reached for the door, pulling the handle.
“Wait,” I said, stopping him. “What about us now? I mean…that’s it. We’re alone now?” Panic rose in my chest.
“I’ll never leave you alone, Gray. You can count on that.”
~
“Fairchild spins an emotional story that is saturated in sex appeal.”
“OMG! I honestly loved this just like every book I’ve read by this talented Indie author!”
“I was flipping pages like a maniac trying to figure out what in the heck was going on and what Gray was hiding.”
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By My Side by Theresa Troutman
“Maybe it’s not what you’re running from, but what you’re running toward.”
Alicia travels to an exotic land, with hopes to reinvent herself. She moves to Auckland, New Zealand, to heal and escape her unhappy past in America.
Hunter works in a bar to distract himself from the memory of a tragic past. Playing in a local band and resorting to one night stands are his only means for an escape from his reality.
Brought together by circumstance, an unexpected romance blossoms between these two tortured souls.
Can being by each other’s side bring them the happiness they are desperate to discover? Or will being together break their fragile trust and lead to more heartache?
Chapter 1
I had just gotten my dream job, and it happened a year after I started with the firm. I was one of the lucky ones, getting a job the summer I left college. It was entry level, but it was the ‘foot in the door’ I needed to get me on the inside. I knew with hard work, my analytical skills, and attention to detail, I could make them take notice of me and they did.
Now I was on my way to tell my husband Brandon. Our one year anniversary was coming up and with the news of my job promotion I couldn’t wait to celebrate. I made my way across town to the college campus. Being Wednesday night I knew Brandon liked to stay behind in his office to talk with his students and then do some work after everyone left.
Briskly, I trotted down the hall, eager to tell him my good news. When I reached his office door with his name painted in gold ink - Professor Brandon Miller, I turned the handle. It was locked. That was nothing new. He often did that after the student visiting hour was over, so he could work uninterrupted by the staff and janitors. I pulled the key ring from my purse and unlocked the door.
Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. I walked inside his office to find a nude blonde woman, with fake boobs, sprawled across Brandon’s desk. My loving husband, naked from the waist down fucking her so hard, papers were flying from the desk, like leaves falling from a tree in a wind storm.
In shock, I dropped the keys I was holding and they hit the floor with a loud clank, forcing Brandon and the bimbo to look my way. Brandon’s mouth fell open in shock. The blonde bimbo simply smiled, looking thrilled to be caught in the act. I reached down, grabbed my keys, and ran from the room. I felt my stomach roll and prayed I didn’t throw up.
Slamming my palms against the silver bar on the double doors, I made my escape outside. The cool air felt good against my skin as I rushed to my car. Once inside, I started the engine and put down the window. Clutching the steering wheel so tight, my knuckles turned white, I tried to concentrate on my breathing. I shook my head back and forth; as if doing this would make the scene vanish from my brain.
I kept thinking—This. Can. Not. Be. Happening. How could the best day of my life suddenly become the worst in a matter of minutes? When I opened my eyes and looked out the windshield, I saw Brandon coming through the door. I put the car in reverse and sped out of the parking lot, leaving behind black tire marks on the macadam. I barely missed running him over as his palms slammed onto the trunk of the car. That son of a bitch wasn’t worth going to jail over, although I would have loved to see him badly injured at that moment. What was I going to do now? That phrase repeated in my mind as I drove home. Thankfully, it was only a few blocks away.
When I was inside the apartment, I went to the bedroom and walked into the closet. I stared at our clothing, neatly hung, and arranged by color. I grabbed his perfectly pressed khaki pants off their hangers and threw them on the ground, stomping on them, imagining I was stomping on his heart. Then I took a pair of scissors from the top of the of the dresser and viciously cut and slit his freaking blazers, especially the plaid one with the suede elbow patches he loved so much. Breathing heavily and looking at the destruction I’d left in my wake, I pulled the luggage from the closet and threw it on the bed. Now the only question was whose stuff was I going to pack? By rights, I should kick Brandon out on his ass. He cheated on me.
I looked around our bedroom at all the things that reminded me of him—us. Damn it! I couldn’t stay here. Decision made, I was moving out. Furiously I started grabbing my clothes from the closet, haphazardly throwing them in the suitcases.
When I filled the two suitcases, I ran to Brandon’s home office and looked for boxes. I found two that were filled with paperwork. I promptly turned them upside down and dumped the papers all over the floor. As I was carrying the empty boxes back to the bedroom, Brandon walked through the front door.
“Alicia, we need to talk.”
“No, we don’t.” I seethed walking into the bedroom. I pulled the top drawer out of the dresser and turned it upside down to dump the contents into the box.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized.
“I walk in on you fucking that skanky bimbo and all you have to say for yourself is sorry! I fucking HATE you so much right now! Get out of my sight!”
“What are you doing?” he asked looking around the disaster zone that was the bedroom.
“I’m leaving you,” I explained, although it seemed perfectly obvious.
“You’re overreacting,” he said, taking my hand.
Yanking my hand away from his, I yelled, “Overreacting! How stupid do you think I am? You just threw away our marriage like it was a piece of trash!”
“You’re not stupid. You have a brilliant mind, it’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you,” Brandon explained.
I laughed, a cruel, harsh cackle. “Oh, yeah, you love me so much you couldn’t even stay faithful to me for one year after our marriage?”
He opened his mouth to say
something, but thought better of it and remained silent.
“Yes, I didn’t think you would have a logical explanation for that. I want a divorce. I’ll have my lawyer send the paperwork over to your office.”
“Alicia, can’t we work this out?”
“How? Why would I want to? You are a cheater and I can’t forgive that, Brandon. I may only be twenty-three, but I’m not naive!”
“I never said you were. You’re very emotional right now and I think if you just take a moment, you’ll see I’m right.” He reached out and placed his hands on my shoulders to try and calm me down.
I slammed my fists into his chest. “Ha! Never, in a million years, will I think what you did was right.” I grabbed the suitcases and started to wheel them to the front door. Once they were in the hallway, I went back to the bedroom for the boxes.
“Alicia, please,” Brandon pleaded.
I walked right past him, my head held high with all the dignity I could muster and walked out the front door. He didn’t even follow me and somehow, I felt relief.
In the sea of confusion, I drove to my mother’s house, as if on auto-pilot. She and husband number three were eating dinner when I walked in the front door.
“Alicia, what brings you for a visit?” she asked, surprised by my sudden appearance.
“I…I was hoping…I need a place to stay,” I stuttered.
“Where’s Brandon?” she asked.
“I left him. I caught him cheating on me.”
“Alicia, I warned you not to marry someone who was ten years older than you,” my mother chastised.
That comment just pissed me off. “Oh yeah, because you’re the expert in marriage,” I shot back.
“Don’t speak to your mother that way,” number three scolded me as if I were a five year old.
“You know what? Forget I was even here.” I turned on my heel and high-tailed it out of there. “Brilliant move,” I muttered to myself getting back into the car. Why would I ever think my mother would show me any sympathy? She never paid much attention to me as a child. Why should things be any different now?
On to plan B. There was an extended stay hotel near work, so that was going to be my new home, at least until I could figure out what the hell I was going to do next.
The room was nice. It had everything I would need: a small kitchen, a desk, sofa, and comfy bed. I turned on the TV to have some background noise while I went about unpacking my belongings. I had packed so quickly, my dresses and suits were a wrinkled mess. I set about ironing everything. It was a good way to get me mind off Brandon. Once my clothes and shoes were neatly put away in the closet, I sat down and made a list of things I had forgotten in my haste to flee the apartment. I would pick up those things while Brandon was teaching class. After that, I fired up the laptop and started searching Google for local divorce attorneys.
Three hours after I had arrived at my temporary home, I decided it was time to take a shower and go to bed. I was exhausted. Turning on the hot water, the shower sprayed out an invigorating massage over my naked body. Picking up the bar of soap, I accidentally dropped it. The weight of what had happened today; what Brandon did and how I reacted to it, hit me. The tears began to fall. I cried so hard, I slid into a sitting position in the tub and let the water wash my tears away. How could I be so stupid? How could I ever trust another man again? I sat in the tub until the water ran cold and my tears dissipated. Then I climbed into bed and fell asleep.
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A BEAUTIFUL BASTARD BY J.L. PERRY
My name is Carter Reynolds. I was born a bastard and I’ll die a bastard. I learnt it at a young age, and nothing and nobody can change that. I’m on a one-way path of destruction, and God help anyone who gets in my way. I hate my life. Actually, I hate pretty much everything.
That’s until I meet the kid next door. Indi-freakin’-ana. My dislike for her is instant. From the moment I lay eyes on her, she ignites something within me. She makes me feel things I thought I was incapable of feeling. I don’t like it, not one bit. When she looks at me with her big, beautiful, haunting green eyes, it’s like she can see into the depths of my soul. It freaks me the hell out. She’s like sunshine and rainbows in my world of gloom and doom. I hate sunshine and rainbows.
••••
I’m Indiana Montgomery. My friends call me Indi. Despite losing my mum at the age of six, I have a wonderful life and great friends. My dad more than makes up for the fact that I only have one parent. I’m his little girl, the centre of his world. I adore him.
When Carter Reynolds moves in next door, my life takes a turn for the worse. He’s gorgeous, sinfully hot, but that’s where my compliments end. He seems hell-bent on making my life miserable. He acts tough, but when I look into his eyes I don’t see it. I see hurt and pain. To me, he seems lost.
I should hate him for the way he treats me, but surprisingly I don’t. If anything, I feel sorry for him. I want to help him find peace. Help him find the light that I know is buried somewhere within his darkness, but he won’t have a bar of it.
He’s warned me time and time again to stay away, but I can’t. I’m drawn to him for some reason. He’s always referring to himself as a bastard. That may be true, but to me, he’s more like a beautifully, misunderstood bastard. Whether he likes it or not, I refuse to give up on him.
PROLOGUE
The past…
Carter
Reaching out, my mum wraps her long, dainty fingers around my tiny hand. “Jump, baby,” she smiles, as I launch off the bottom step off the bus, landing on the sidewalk. We both laugh. I love my mum. She’s fun.
“Brrrrrr, it’s cold today,” she says.
Looking up, I find her shivering. I smile at her as she zips up her coat to keep warm. Digging through her bag, she takes out my favourite Spiderman beanie and scarf, holding them up for me to see.
“Put these on, sweetie,” she says smiling, as she crouches down in front of me, placing my beanie on my head and wrapping the scarf around my neck. “Let me get your gloves,” she adds, reaching into her bag again. “I can’t have my little man getting sick.”
I stand and watch as she pushes my little fingers into my blue gloves, one by one. “There, all snug.”
“Snug as a bug in a rug.” I smile. This is something she says to me every night when she tucks me into bed.
“That’s right, baby,” she smiles leaning forward, giving me a soft kiss on my nose. Rising to her feet, she reaches for my hand. “Come on.”
As we walk down the street, I look around. I don’t think I’ve ever been here before. “Where are we mummy?” I ask while looking around.
“This is my hometown. I grew up here.” I look up at her. Wow. Mummy lived somewhere else before our home?
She smiles down at me, but she still looks sad. “You lived here when you were little, like me?” I ask.
“Uh huh. This is where your grandparents live.”
“I have a grandma and grandpa?” I didn’t know that either. I feel my eyes widen, and I smile. I hear the kids at school talk about their grandparents all the time. I’ve always wondered why I didn’t have any of my own.
I’ve never asked my mum why. Once I asked her how come I didn’t have a daddy, like the other kids, and it made her cry. I don’t like seeing my mummy cry.
“I’m taking you to meet them now. They’ve never met you before.” I’m getting so excited; like the times I get to watch Spiderman on TV. I met my friend Josh’s grandparents once, when I was playing at his house. They were really nice. I hope my grandparents are like his.
&
nbsp; I start jumping along because I’m so happy. Mummy stops in front of a big white house. It’s really, really big, like the houses you see in movies. It’s so much bigger than where mummy and me live.
My mum’s hand is shaking as she holds mine. I look at mummy and she looks mad, like the time I drew on the wall at home. Her eyes are doing a funny thing.
“Your hands are shaking, mummy.”
“I’m okay little man, I’m just cold.” She looks down at me and smiles. Her eyes look happy when she looks at me.
“Do you want to borrow my gloves?”
“No, baby,” she says as her smile widens. She crouches down, placing her hands on either side of my face. “No matter what happens when we go in here, just remember how much I love you, and how special you are.”
“Okay, mummy,” I say. I love mummy. I know I’m going to love my grandparents.
“Good boy.” She leans forward kissing my cheek, before standing up and reaching for my hand again. “Let’s do this.”
As we walk down the long driveway, my mum’s hand continues to shake. I wish she’d put my gloves on. I hate how she’s cold.
“One…two…three…four…five.” I count the stairs in my head as we climb them, before we get in front of the big yellow door. I hear my mum let out a big breath. Letting go of my hand, she raises her arm and goes to knock, but she stops, looks at me and smiles before knocking. I can’t wait to see my grandparents. I hope they have chocolate. I love chocolate.
Reaching for my hand again, she gives me a squeeze. When the door opens, I look up at the man who stands there. He doesn’t look happy when he sees mummy.
“Elizabeth,” he says sternly.
“Hi, daddy,” she replies nervously. He doesn’t look so unhappy when mummy says that. His mouth smiles, but not for long. I look up. I feel my own big smile. Wow, this must be my grandpa. He’s so strong.
“What are you doing here?” he asks.
My mum doesn’t say anything for about one hundred years. “I wanted to see you. I…ummm, wanted you to meet your grandson, Carter.” She gives my hand another little squeeze as she looks down at me.
Little Moments Page 24
