by Mercy May
“Gotcha,” I said, shrugging. “We don’t have anything like that with my type. More loners than anything, and we definitely don’t settle down in the middle of backwoods-nowhere.”
Mark grunted in response, his thoughts obviously still stuck on whatever was bothering him.
“So…” I started, trying to get his attention. “What kind of bear are you?”
Mark cocked an eye at me. “Grizzly. Why?”
“Sheeyit. That explains a lot.”
“What?”
I glanced down at the bulge between his legs, then trailed my eyes back up to his, taking care to examine the outline of his pecs beneath his tank top.
“Oh,” he said, shifting in his seat as his cheeks flushed red.
“So your brother found a mate, huh?” I asked, trying to change the subject once again.
“Ha, yeah.” Mark responded, that familiar pain in his voice.
I needed to figure out what was going on there, otherwise I was just going to keep scratching an already tender surface. I just stared at Mark for a while, taking him in entirely as I slowly shook my head. He was it for me, I could already tell. His hurting was starting to make me hurt, and all I wanted to do was wrap him in my arms and assure him that everything would be okay. Even as big and dominant as he was, I just wanted to comfort him. Though, the way things were going, that could have just made things worse.
“Fuck,” I cursed under my breath. “Look,” I told him, “I can’t keep doing this. I can’t sit here and pretend this isn’t real for me. I don’t know why this attraction is so strong, but it is and I can’t deny it.”
Mark looked up at me, his golden-brown eyes pouring into my own. After a long moment, he simply nodded. “I know. And I don’t blame you.” He shook his head, sadness weighing his every movement. “I just can’t.”
My heart sank at that as realization dawned. It wasn’t just a matter of being uncomfortable for him. It wasn’t even a matter of us being completely different species. It was ingrained in him that this was wrong, and that he could have no part in it.
With my heart wrenching in my chest, I leaned back against my seat, and pulled my hands to my face. This man was agony, sheer agony, and I had no idea what the fuck I was going to do. We were obviously at an impasse. He couldn’t bear the thought of being with me, and I couldn’t bear the idea of being without him. I’d only just met the man, but I already felt tethered to him, as if we had been woven together by some unseen force. And the more Mark resisted, the more he tried to pull away from me, the more my heart started to break.
I’m a tiger, goddammit. I told myself. I’m not some blubbering girl, desperate for love.
But, at the same time, I knew that I might as well have been. My tiger had obviously chosen Mark as a mate, and I either needed to find a way around that fact, or I needed to him around to seeing my side of things.
MARK
I rode the rest of the plane ride in silence. After a while, Zeke had turned over in his chair, leaned it back, and had fallen asleep. I’d tried to fall asleep myself, but after the exchange we’d just had - coupled with the constant growling beneath my skin - I couldn’t even manage to close my eyes. This situation downright sucked.
The more I was with Zeke, the more I began to realize what I already knew. He was my mate. Much like Matthew had met and immediately been drawn to his tiger, here I was being drawn to one of my own. It didn’t make sense, but Fate never did. The difference between Matthew and myself, though, was that I wasn’t going to go against my own morals and platitudes just to give into an urge or a feeling. As much as it pained me to consider it, I knew that I needed to separate myself from Mark. This plane ride would be it for us. As soon as we landed, I’d depart and lose him in the business of the airport, and make my way to Matthew’s home. There was nothing more to it than that.
So, acknowledging that these would be my last few moments with him, I chose to watch Zeke sleep. I watched his chest rise and fall slowly, and listened to the faint snore that emerged after an hour of slumbering at an awkward angle. I traced my eyes along his face and his body, committing it all to memory. I’d need those memories sooner or later. When my bear eventually started to grow violent and mad from the separation, and my human part grew sad and depressed at the thought of leaving my mate, I’d latch onto these memories. I’d have to, because they were the only ones I’d ever have of the tiger shifter who’d stormed into my life and sent my heart into a frenzy.
After a while, the pilot’s voice sounded over the intercom, announcing that we were preparing to land. I slipped past the still-sleeping Zeke and headed back to my own seat. I took one look at the sprawled out fat guy hogging not only his sit, but mine as well, and shook my head. Not daring to disturb the man, I took the seat in front of him and fastened my seatbelt. In a matter of minutes, we were landing. When the pilot sounded off again, thanking the passengers for flying with the airline and the stewardesses began to make their way down the aisle, I slipped out of my seat, retrieved my bag, and toward the exit as fast as I could. Just as I was stepping out of the cabin, I cast a quick glance in Zeke’s direction, just in time to see him lock his eyes on mine, a sad expression plastered on his face.
***
When I hailed a cab outside the airport, I didn’t expect the driver to speak English. Hell, I didn’t even expect him to be able to hear me speaking. Even with the incredible amounts of background noise, the driver was able to comprehend my directions as he took my bag and placed it in his trunk. Before long, we were pulling away from the airport and driving away from the hubbub of the city. The driver told me that the address I gave him was actually just outside Mumbai, and that it’d take an hour or more to navigate our way there. I took the time to doze off, giving myself some much-needed rest.
The next thing I knew, the driver was telling me that we were here as he slammed his car into park, immediately hopping from the cab and running around to grab my bag. I clambered out of the car and let out a loud yawn as I stretched, then thanked and tipped the driver as he handed me my bag. With a smile, the small Indian man hopped into his car and soon vanished in the distance.
I turned away from the road and took in my surroundings for the first time. I found myself standing on a cobblestone-paved driveway that stretched out and up to a large rustic cottage with its back facing the water. There was very little foliage in the area, and the neighbors were practically a stone’s throw away. It was a far cry from the mansions of Black Canyon, and I began to wonder if I was in the right place. That’s when I smelled him.
I’d recognize my brother’s scent anywhere, and my bear immediately perked up at it. I sniffed again, searching for my brother’s mate, but, fortunately, he didn’t seem to be around. I made my way up the driveway to a massive wooden door and rapped on it twice with my fist. After a few seconds, I heard the sounds of locks being undone and the door swung open, revealing a massive bear of a man.
My brother resembled my mother in a lot of ways, including the same golden eyes that pierced the very fabric of my soul. His dark hair was just as mussed up as mine, and he was dressed in nothing but a pair of khaki cargo shorts. I dipped my head in respect to my alpha, then noticed something that I hadn’t quite expected. While my brother’s torso and body was still incredibly hard and muscular, he had developed something of a gut since the last time I’d seen him. In fact, if I didn’t know any better, it looked as if he was…
“Yep,” Matthew said, before I even had a chance to speak. “Barefoot and pregnant.”
I looked up at him, confusion plastered to my face, only to see him grinning from ear to ear. Before I could respond, Matthew stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me, embracing me tightly. It was a lot warmer of a welcome than I expected, especially considering I’d been part of a group who’d tried to kill his mate the last time I saw him, but I appreciated it nonetheless. After a few long moments, Matthew released me from his grip and gestured for me to follow him inside. I obliged,
casting a quick glance over my shoulder in search of his mate once more.
Matthew guided me to what must have been his living room. The house had a very minimalistic vibe to it, with very little furniture aside from a few chairs, a recliner, and a small leather couch. There were a few books and magazines thrown here and there, but the place lacked a television, photographs, or, really, anything else that would have made it feel homey. He took a seat on the recliner and pointed to the couch, offering me a seat. I took the seat, still silent, and just stared at my brother. Aside from the new belly, he looked exactly like I remembered him.
“So,” Matthew said finally, breaking the silence. “I imagine you have some questions.”
I nodded, took a deep breath, and let it rip. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I asked him, not even trying to hide the harshness in my tone.
Matthew smiled. “Right now? I’m sitting across from my brother, while being more than a little happy that he actually took the time to come and visit me. It’s been too long, Mark. I know we didn’t separate on the best of terms, but I have missed you.”
“Why the fuck did you leave at all, Matthew?” I demanded. “Do you realize what you’ve put our family through? What our clan is going through? Father’s reputation is completely ruined, and we’ve practically lost all of our standing with the Council. You put us in a really shitty place, and you don’t even realize it.”
Matthew took a breath, smiled, and answered in a low, calm voice. “For starters, yes. And yes. I know, appreciate, and understand everything that has been going on back in Black Canyon. I’m still your alpha, even from here. I’ve been in constant touch with our mother, and I’ve been doing the best I can to help manage the finances. I was never very good with numbers and figures, though, so you’ll have to forgive me for seeking our mother’s help with that much. I’ve also been in touch with the Council, and I’m repairing the damage that my actions may have caused. As for our father? Well, he’s just a bigot, and as much as I hate to say it, he deserves every bit of shame that’s being laid at his feet. I may have gone about my actions the wrong way, but I only went about them at all because of the decisions he made.”
I shook my head defiantly. “You don’t know. You haven’t been there, back in our house with its empty halls and haunted feelings. Our mother is withering away from the stress you’ve burdened her with. Father is growing cruel and vile. It’s awful, Matthew.”
Again, Matthew spoke with the same calming voice. “Mother isn’t withering away because she’s stressed out. She’s going gray because she’s old, Mark. And because her mate is distancing himself from her. That - not helping me - is what’s making her weak. And yes, I do know. I’ve spoken to her about it at length, and all she does is apologize for father and defend him. She’s as loyal to him as ever and, yes, it’s pitiful. But, unfortunately, that’s not something I can help. Even if I was in Black Canyon.”
I bit my lip, tears starting to well up in my eyes. “What about me, though?”
Matthew tilted his head to one side. “What about you, Mark?”
I shook my head, fighting back the anger and the desperation. Before leaving Black Canyon to visit Matthew in India, I’d already been bitter and emotionally disheveled. And now, I had that and the fact that I’d abandoned my mate on an airplane weighing down on me. “What am I supposed to do, Matthew? When you left, you took everything. You took the freedom that should have been mine. And now I’m having to bear your burden, to be a representative of our family within the Canyon. Don’t you realize what that entails? In reality, my position as the second son makes me worthless. But since the actual heir and alpha isn’t around, I have to act in your stead. I have to maintain an air of dominance in public. I have to follow certain standards. I have to give into the familial principles. All of that falls to me. If you had just gone through with the mating, if you had just mated Malia and stuck around, I’d finally be free. I wouldn’t have to repress how I feel for once…”
I looked up at Matthew and was surprised to see tears streaming down his face. His face was curled up in a look of agony. “I didn’t realize,” he stammered. “I had no idea that you felt that way, Mark. You shouldn’t. You absolutely shouldn’t have to bear that burden. It isn’t your place. What freedoms are you lacking? What feelings are you repressing? As your alpha, I ask that you no longer give up those things. That isn’t what I want at all.”
With those words, a sudden weight lifted from my shoulders. Even if they were just words, they were the words of my brother and my alpha. In some small way, it was comforting to realize that I had someone’s support. Even if he didn’t know what he was supporting.
“I’m gay,” I blurted out, the dam finally breaking as my own tears burst from my eyes.
Matthew’s eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. “I thought… I had no idea, Mark. Why didn’t you tell me?”
I shrugged, wiping at my eyes. “How could I? We were raised to follow Father’s ideals and standards. I tried to force myself to be different, to be what he wanted. He thought that kind of behavior was abhorrent, remember?”
A flash of rage lit up behind Matthew’s eyes, and I heard a low rumble from his bear. Of course he remembered.
“Listen,” Matthew told me, his voice hard and stern. “You need to get past the things that that man told you. You don’t have to live up to his ideals, you have to live up to yours. You need to follow your own heart, not his outdated opinions. Do you understand, Mark?”
I nodded, blinking back another round of tears.
“So,” Matthew said after a few minutes, when we’d both managed to dry our eyes. “Aren’t you going to ask about the belly?”
“Uh,” I looked at him. In the commotion since we’d sat down, I’d almost forgotten about his comment at the door. “What the hell?”
Matthew flashed me a brilliant smile. “Well, you see, when a man loves another man…”
I rolled my eyes at him. “That,” I pointed at his stomach, “doesn’t happen when some guy fucks you.”
Matthew snorted. “It does when he’s a tiger. Apparently, they always impregnate their mates, male or female. It just isn’t common because, one, tigers don’t typically mate like we do and two, very few tigers are gay. So male pregnancies are extremely rare.”
“Holy shit!” I stammered. “For real?”
Matthew nodded excitedly. “Yeah. Trust me, I was incredibly weirded out at first. Some days still am. But it’s a miracle of sorts, I guess. Another few months, and there’ll be a pair of new shifters running around.”
I blinked at that. “A pair?”
“Yep. Twins. Though, we have no idea what they’ll be.”
“Wow,” I stammered, disbelieving. This wasn’t at all what I’d expected to hear when visiting my brother. In fact, none of our conversation had been what I expected. “So, wait, is that why you couldn’t fly home?”
Matthew nodded. “It is. I’m over six months along, and we pretty much have no idea how this works or how long I’ll carry the twins. I’ll need a C-Section soon, and there’s a special doctor nearby who handles rare shifter pregnancies.”
“Whoa,” I said, still trying to wrap my mind around the idea. I mean, I didn’t doubt it was possible. I had a freaking grizzly living beneath my skin, and I’d heard tale of even more fantastic types of shifters than meager bears. If people could share their bodies with wild beasts and fantastical creatures, it was just as likely that a male shifter could get pregnant. Our anatomies, after all, aren’t exactly like the typical humans.
“Whoa indeed,” Matthew said with a smile.
Just then, I heard the sound of a car door slamming, followed by another. Matthew’s ears perked up and a huge smile broke out on his face. “That’ll be Ezra,” Matthew said, his voice lighting up at the name of his mate. Matthew rose to his feet and started toward the door to unlock it. “He was in the city, picking up his cousin at the airport.”
My heart pounded in my chest a
t that, and I jumped to my feet just in time to see Matthew open the door and welcome Zeke into his home.
ZEKE
I couldn’t believe it.
I’d almost panicked when I saw Mark fleeing the airplane, doing his best to get away from me. I’d tried to follow him, but lost him in the crowd. My heart had felt like it was crumbling into dust, and I couldn’t shake the nausea that had slowly built up ever since. Even when Ezra had picked me up at the airport, I’d remained mostly silent, only offering grunts in response to his questions. He’d realized that something was wrong, but the man seemed far too happy for me to plague him with my troubles. He was happy, I had to remind myself. He’d found his mate and he was finally living the life that he needed to live. What he didn’t need was to hear about how I’d just lost mine.
So when I followed Ezra up the cobblestone driveway and into his adorable little cabin just outside Mumbai, I definitely wasn’t expecting to see Mark standing in his living room, his golden-brown eyes wide and puffy as though he’d been crying.
“Mark,” I stammered, my voice catching in my throat as my heart skipped a beat. I thought I’d lost him forever, but here he was. Right where I needed him to be.
Ezra popped his head in behind me, saw Mark standing there, and immediately let out a ferocious growl. I could smell the fear mixed with anger emanating from Ezra, and I turned in time to see him on the verge of shifting, his tiger lurking just behind his eyes and screaming for release. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Ezra snapped at Mark, venom in his voice.
