She’d been about to head off to work an hour ago when he appeared at her door, blond hair rumpled, brown eyes bloodshot, jaw sprouting stubble. He’d been up all night delivering a baby girl, he explained, and he’d stopped off on the chance that maybe she had some strong coffee brewed. But if she was just about to go to work, he added, he’d head home and get some sleep.
There was something about him, an elusive expression in his eyes, a certain tone to his voice, that kept her from snapping out that that yes, she was going to work, and maybe he ought to have accepted her invitation to coffee, and what that stood for, the last time they’d been out together.
Instead she invited him in and poured him a cup from the pot she’d made earlier that morning. She called the office and had her secretary cancel her ten-o’clock appointment. Eleven as well, she added on impulse. Maybe, just maybe, the guy had come to his senses at last. She wasn’t averse to morning sex, not at all.
Bruce didn’t say anything at first. He gulped the coffee and walked around her living room, but she didn’t think he was really noticing anything, which was probably a blessing, because she hadn’t picked up the slacks, bra, and underpants she’d discarded on the rug when she got home from work yesterday. Not that they really stood out amongst the rest of the litter. Even without her leg in a cast, she wasn’t the tidiest person in the world, but then, he wasn’t exactly moving in, so what did it matter?
“You’re probably wondering what I’m doing here,” he said a bare second before she was about to ask. “See, we nearly lost the baby’s mother.”
For an instant Polly didn’t get it. She was thinking lost as in misplaced and thinking, Isn’t that typical of a bloody hospital? But the expression in his eyes brought sudden, shocking understanding, and without another thought, she made her clumsy way over to him and put her arms around him, letting the crutches fall where they would.
"That must have been so scary.” She could smell hospital on him, but for some reason it didn’t even bother her.
“It was.” The words began slowly and then accelerated. “The pregnancy was very high risk, she has a heart condition. I advised against her getting pregnant in the first place, but she wanted this baby so much.”
She felt the shudder go through him.
“It was close, too close.” His strong arms were supporting her, although she had the strangest feeling it was she holding him up. “It was a brave and foolhardy thing for her to do, having this little girl. Beautiful baby, but what a price.”
Polly thought about the woman. “I think I’d do the same.”
There was a pause, and then he said in a different tone, “You want babies that much?”
“Yup.” The yearning in her voice surprised her. “More than almost anything.”
His mouth was close to her ear. "Enough to take a chance on commitment, Polly?"
She stiffened and moved away from him, hopping on one leg over to the nearby sofa and plunking down, scowling up at him. She was having trouble getting her breath.
“Just what do you mean by that?”
He rubbed his tired eyes with his fingers and sat down beside her. “Only that as soon as someone gets close or shows signs of caring about you, you dump them.”
“How do you know that?” Her temper flared. “You should talk about getting close. You're the one who avoids sex as if I had some contagious disease.”
“Yeah, and it’s almost killing me. See, I don’t want to lose you, Polly, and that’s exactly what would happen if I took you to bed.”
She sputtered out a denial, but it didn’t sound very authentic, and he didn’t buy it.
"I happen to think we could be good together,” he went on as if she hadn’t made a sound. "Really good.” His voice was firm and a little wistful. "But you’d have to commit to staying around long enough to get to know me. You’d have to trust, and that’s a big learning curve."
He held her stormy gaze, even though she was shooting killer rays at him with her eyes.
“I know, because you and I are alike, Polly. I went along for years doing exactly what you do, love ’em and leave ’em before they had a chance to do it to me."
She wanted to laugh and say that he didn’t know the first thing about her, but she couldn’t. His words, his assessment of her, went straight to the place inside where the truth lived. On some level, she’d known for a long time what she was doing. She just hadn’t been able to look at it and stop.
“How brave are you, Polly? Will you commit to more than sex with me?” There wasn’t a trace of teasing or laughter in his voice or in his eyes. “Getting naked physically is easy. It's getting naked emotionally that takes guts and fortitude.”
She wanted him more than she’d ever wanted anyone. She wanted to step off the cliff and agree to what he was proposing, but the fear was overwhelming, and before she could face it, she heard the cell phone in her handbag start to ring.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Bruce got up and got Polly's bag for her. He sat down and waited patiently as she spoke at length to Harry.
“I have to go to the office,” she said when she hung up. “A man I’ve been searching for has surfaced, and I have to have him served quickly, before I lose him again.”
He nodded. He looked disappointed, but resigned.
She took a deep, shaky breath. "I’ll be a couple hours at least.” It took all her courage to add, “I don’t suppose you could stay here and wait for me? The bed isn’t made, but the sheets are clean.”
The look in his eyes sent a shudder through her.
“Unless one of my patients decides to go into labor, I’ll be waiting in your bed when you get back. No matter how long it takes."
And then he kissed her, and one tiny strand of the huge ball of fear inside her began to slowly unravel.
Edna dropped by two days after Zacharias finally left. She rang the doorbell just after Graham went down for his afternoon nap, and Maxine was pathetically glad to see her. Having her father stay for ten days had taken its toll.
“You look absolutely fantastic.” Maxine studied the older woman. "You’ve lost weight. That dress looks great on you. Where’d you get it?"
It was a robin’s egg-blue silk shirtdress, with a daring slit that showed off shapely legs Edna had been hiding.
“Polly saw it in a window downtown and practically ordered me to buy it." Edna's clear skin glowed, and her gray eyes sparkled. "She told me the wonderful news about locating Ricky Shwartz and getting your money back, and I wanted to say congratulations and tell you how thrilled I am for you." She handed Maxine a huge bouquet of deep blue irises, already arranged in a tall copper container.
“Oh, Edna, thank you. They’re so beautiful.”
Maxine set the flowers on top of the bookcase. “I’m lucky to have a friend like you.” She led the way into the kitchen. As she made tea and set out chocolate biscuits, she gave Edna the highlights of her father's visit.
“He was going to stay only five days, but somehow it got extended to ten.” She explained how generous Zacharias had been financially, related his surprising reaction to the news that his daughter had supported herself by doing phone sex, and confessed how difficult it had been to keep from losing her temper and thumping him.
“He criticized, complained about everything, repaired things that weren’t broken, sharpened every knife in the house so that now I keep cutting myself, and spoiled Graham so badly I can hardly stand him. He’s taken to throwing himself on the floor and kicking and screaming if he doesn’t get his own way, and if he wakes up at night he has a fit if I don’t appear instantly.”
Edna laughed. “Sounds like his grandpa did a good job on him.” She bit into her cookie. “I’m so glad things turned out the way they did with your dad, Maxine.”
"Me too. I still have issues with him, but we also have something in common. He thinks the sun shines out of Graham’s eyes, and when the kid's not being a tyrant, I think so too.”
Zacharias’s
visit had healed sore places inside her. The ones that were still bleeding had nothing to do with her father. “And how about you, Edna? How’re things with your sons?”
Coached by their father, Edna’s boys had both confronted her, angry and accusing, after finding out about the phone sex.
“Gary’s still pretty mad at me, but Marshall comes by and visits. He’s beginning to realize his father isn’t always right. Marshall’s got a girlfriend John doesn’t approve of." She smiled and shook her head. "And some of his friends have told him they figure it’s cool to have a mother who actually did phone sex, so that’s helping things along as well.”
They laughed and Maxine asked, “What’s happening with the personal ads?”
“I’ve met three nice men," Edna said nonchalantly. “I’ve dated all of them, but there’s one, Stephen, whom I particularly like. He’s a retired doctor. He’s invited me to go on a cruise with him to Portugal.” She blushed. “Sex with him is fantastic, and conversation isn’t so bad either.”
Maxine laughed, but Edna’s words evoked painful memories of Harry. They’d also shared good conversation and great sex. Something wistful must have shown on her face, because Edna said softly, “Have you heard from him?”
Maxine shook her head. "Graham’s gotten several pictures in the mail from Sadie, but that’s it.”
“Call him.” Edna reached out and put a hand on Maxine’s arm. “It's only because of Harry’s article that Polly found Shwartz. At least you owe him a thank you.”
Maxine nodded. She’d been dithering about it for days. “I’m scared," she admitted now. “I’m afraid that he’ll hang up on me the way I did with him." And if he did, her heart would truly break. She took a breath and blurted out the other half of it.
"With him. I’m Maxine, but I’m India as well. That wild, out-of-control part of me is right there when I’m with Harry, and it scares me.” She gave Edna a beseeching look. "You understand, don’t you?” Edna was probably the only one who could understand. She was Lilith as well as Edna.
Edna nodded. "The hardest thing I’ve ever done was let Stephen see who I really am. I thought it would drive him away, being radically honest, telling him about the phone sex, telling him I enjoyed being Lilith. But I had to do it, to be true to myself.” Her smile was radiant. "He loved it. And I think I’m starting to love him, and I’m so happy I go around singing all the time.”
She patted Maxine’s hand. “You were happy like that when you were with Harry. Call him, Maxine. You’ll always regret it if you don’t.”
Edna left, and Graham woke from his nap. For the remainder of the afternoon Maxine busied herself with laundry, ironing, weeding the garden, making a summer stew. She made certain she was too busy to make a phone call.
But inevitably evening arrived, Graham went to bed, and things were quiet. Maxine, palms sweaty and heart hammering, knew the time had come. It was a warm summer night, but she was shivering as she lifted the receiver and dialed.
He answered almost instantly.
“Hello?"
His voice set off explosive reactions in her, a rush of warmth, a sense of dread, terrible longing, and fear that gave way to certainty. She hadn’t planned it, but now she knew what she had to do. Courage came, and with it, a tiny measure of confidence.
“This is India McBride, Harry."
He made a startled sound and began to say something, but she interrupted, her voice low and smooth and sexy. “I want you just to listen to me, please. There are things I need you to hear.”
His silence told her he was paying close attention.
She closed her eyes and let herself recognize her truths. “When Maxine first created me, we both thought it was because she needed the money. She did, but that wasn’t all of it, Harry. See, she was always ashamed of me. I was this lush, sensual, outrageous part of her, and she was scared that if she let me out, no man would really love her the way she longed to be loved. Because I’m bad, I want to do all the nasty, delicious things Maxine was taught were sinful."
This was hard. It was like exposing her plump naked belly to a photographer. “But I’m part of her, Harry, an important part. And by doing phone sex, we got to know each other and she realized I wasn’t so bad after all. We weren’t exactly soul mates, but we got to be friends. And then you came along, Harry. And Maxine and I both fell crazily in love with you, and for the first time the two parts came together. But loving and trusting are two different things. When the stuff came up about the article, it was easier not to trust you, just in case . . .” Her sexy India voice wavered and she became Maxine, insecure, shy. “Just in case you didn’t love me back.”
Tears were close, and the tissues were in the kitchen. She sniffled and swallowed and blurted out the rest. “I've made peace with my father. I’m changing my job. I think I know myself now, for the first time. But life's empty and awful without you and Sadie. See, I love you with all my heart, Harry.”
Her belly was in knots as she waited for him to say something. It took a couple of long, agonizing seconds for her to realize the line was dead.
She stared at the silent phone in disbelief. He'd hung up on her. She’d gambled and lost, and she hadn’t even gotten around to saying thank you to him for locating Shwartz.
Damn. Waves of desolation rolled over her, too intense even for tears. The future stretched ahead, long and straight and dusty, devoid of Harry, and she tried to tell herself that it would get easier than this—it had to, but she couldn’t begin to believe it.
After a while she got to her feet and stumbled into the kitchen, but tea didn’t hold any appeal. She opened the cupboard and searched for the brandy bottle. There were a few pathetic drops in the very bottom. She couldn’t even get dramatically and tragically drunk.
The only thing left was a hot bath; her knees were grubby from gardening and her nails had dirt underneath them. She headed down the hall and turned the water on, but before she could get her shorts off, the front doorbell rang.
To hell with them, whoever they are. She couldn’t imagine talking to anyone right now.
It pealed again, and yet again, and at last she turned the taps off and stomped back down the hallway.
She jerked the door open and her mouth dropped as her heart rose.
"Harry? Oh, God, Harry, come in.”
He had a blanket-swathed Sadie asleep on his shoulder, and he walked over and gently put her down on the sofa. Then, less gently, he pulled Maxine into his arms and kissed her hard before he dropped on one knee to the carpet.
“Before another single thing happens to interrupt us, will you marry me, Maxine? Because
I love everything about you, the stubborn part, the shy part, the part of you that’s insecure. I love Graham. And India. God, Maxine, I love the part of you that’s India. So what do ya say? Will you marry me?”
His chin was covered with stubble, and his jeans were stained with what might have been spaghetti. He’d been running his fingers through his hair, and it stood up in a rooster’s comb on the back of his head.
He was the most desirable man she’d ever seen in her entire life, and she wanted him so badly her thighs quivered. The kids were asleep, her bedroom was just down the hall, and they had the whole long night ahead of them.
"I will, Harry. I want you. Yes, I’ll marry you.” Sadie stirred and sat up, rubbed her eyes, and peered around. “Daddy, you ’pologized. Hi, Maxine. Where’s Graham?”
Down the hall, a whimper began and escalated rapidly into a roar of outrage.
Maxine looked at Harry, and together they started to laugh. With two little kids around, making it to the bedroom was going to present a challenge. But they were equal to it, and they had time on their side.
They had a whole long lifetime ahead of them.
FREE BONUS
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RUNNING WILD, THE TRILOGY
ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT is the second book in a THREE BOOK TRILOGY. The other two, STAND BY YOUR MAN, and MAKE ME A MATCH, are also available on Amazon.
Excerpt from:
MAKE ME A MATCH
Alice doesn’t live here anymore
The Saturday morning of his fortieth birthday, Eric Stewart began to wonder if maybe his crazy sister Anna was right about the stormy effects Uranus was having on his astrological chart. Eric didn’t personally know Uranus from a hole in the ground, apart from hearing Anna blather on, but there was no doubt turbulence was in the air.
“I don’t want a relationship; all I want is sex,” Nema screamed, letting fly with a piece of pipe he’d been saving to use as a tail for the dog he was welding out of iron rebar. Garbage was how he made his living, but dodging it wasn’t his favorite pastime.
She was panning the area for more ammunition. “We discussed it in the beginning. Why can’t you stick to the plan?”
Judo and great reflexes helped at times like this. Eric was able to dodge again, even though Nema’s aim was deadly. At six-one, she was not just tall but well muscled, and he was grateful she didn’t have a gun; she’d taken marksmanship, hoping to get apart on a television cop show currently being filmed in downtown Vancouver.
He’d met her at a party where a lot of the guests were actors. He’d figured he’d been invited for comic relief; the cretin giving the party kept introducing him as the garbage-man. It backfired, though, because Nema dumped the guy and came home with Eric.
On the way she’d said, “So, are you really a garbage-man?” as she ran her fingers through his hair. “Clean-cut, blond curls, baby blue’s, you don’t look like a garbage-man.”
ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT? (Running Wild) Page 20
