“Yeah.”
“Oh,” I groan out, my body going rigid at that one word and I roll over so I can press my face into that same muscular chest. Damn.
“Jesus, Angel.” His forehead falls softly against the top of my head. “I know I haven’t known you or your brothers long, but I know that they’d beat the shit out of me if I didn’t tell ‘em something this significant and then I’d have to arrest them for assaulting an officer of the law and then there’d be a bunch of animosity between us which would make it extremely difficult for you and I to get to know one another better.”
“Oh.” Heat suffices my body in a fast wave and I can’t stop my smile. It’s like a fog lifted.
“Yeah, oh.” Cooper rolls me over until I’m laying half on him and half on the bed with my face smashed in the crook of his shoulder and chest. His arm tightens, almost crushing me with his strength. Real tight. Feel every ridge and bulge tight. I want to stay right here forever.
“Um, Cowboy.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m having a really hard time breathin’,” I gasp out, feeling a little light-headed, which actually has nothing to do with the tightness of his grasp and more to do with the proximity of his body. His arm loosens a fraction so I take the opportunity to suck in as much air as he’ll let me before his arm squeezes me again.
I timidly place my hand on his flat abdomen, the muscles quiver at my touch. I feel his sharp intake of breath before his deep voice rumbles through his chest and against my ear. The vibrations once again soothe. I snuggle a bit closer and just listen, but his words actually take me by surprise.
“You scared the shit out of me today,” he states with a genuinely concerned tone.
My heart flutters with the powerful emotions that lace his words and my brow furrows. “I scared the shit out of me today.” Then I add for my own piece of mind. “Nate definitely scared the shit out of me today.”
Cooper shifts, crooks his arm, places my head in the bend of his elbow, and stares down at me. Serious. “We need to talk.”
Every muscle in my body goes rigid against him, my eyes shut and I draw in a deep breath. “Aren’t we already talking?”
He slides his fingers along my nape and massages the tight muscles in long, powerful strokes. “Angel.”
My back arches into his touch and I whisper, “Can’t we just lay here a while longer? It feels good.” I don’t want to talk. In all actuality, I just don’t want to talk to him about the—stuff. I meet his probing gaze. I don’t want him to know any more than he already does, which is way too much as it is. Before I can say anything else he continues.
He gets close and looks me square in the eyes not releasing my nape. He keeps it clutched firmly between his fingers so I can’t turn away. “I have questions that I need answers to, Angel.”
I let out a frustrated breath and tear my eyes away. I try to move but he has no intentions of letting me go far before settling me back against his chest. “Are you doing that neck thing to show me who’s boss?”
“No, Angel, I’m doing it so you can’t lower those beautiful green eyes.” His serious brown eyes are holding my green ones captive as if he has me strapped down without any give. “I need to know if you have a twenty-four seven agreement with Nate.”
“Huh?” I know I look stunned by his question.
“Do you have a contract with him?”
I shake my head, then turn it towards his chest.
Both hands immediately lower to my waist, lift me, and turns me to face him so that I have to look at him, so I do. I look him square in the eyes. His big hands settle at the small of my back caging me with his legs and arms.
“Then I need to know why you were kneeling at his feet?”
I try to back up a little but I can’t. I reach behind my back and work at prying his hands away but when that doesn’t work either, I cross my arms as a barrier in front of my chest and sit in silence for so long he speaks again.
“It’s imperative that I know.”
My defense mechanism kicks in and I resort to my protective mode. Being a smart ass. “Obviously.” I snort. “You’re using two dollar words just like Merrick.”
One thick, dark brow lifts high upon his forehead.
My eyes burn and get bleary with tears and I swallow thickly willing them away. The pressure of stopping the flood sends an ache to the front of my skull. I tighten my mouth taking a long string of deep uneven inhales and exhales before answering, “Because I was afraid he was gonna hit me again.” A spasm of pain flickers in my eyes and I give a heavy sigh. “It sounds so silly when I put it like that.” I pull my eyes from his at the prickle of tears behind my lids. “But I thought if I did that he would stop.” I shrug. “Definite miscalculation on my part.”
His hands move slowly up and down my back, his fingertips dance along my spine, cocooning me in his warmth showing me that I’m safe with him, that he can and will protect me.
“Why did you call him Master?” The pitch of his voice is one that intimates that he won’t accept excuses from me to evade answering truthfully.
I squeeze my eyes shut for an instance only to open them and have them trapped once again by his gaze. I can’t tear my eyes away this time. He looks like there’s no way in hell that he’ll let me get away with not saying anything, so I do. I throw my hands up and push against his chest. Push and push and push but nothing. He doesn’t budge. Won’t stop. Won’t leave me the hell alone. “I didn’t want him to hurt me anymore. Good Lord, how hard is that to understand?” My throat catches, my head drops down, and my chin falls to my chest.
He places his finger under my chin and lifts my head until our eyes meet. Why did he have to keep doing that? It was really starting to piss me off.
“Is that what he did?” His jaw flexes and white lines appear around his mouth.
I nod and swallow, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I swallow some more, then take another deep breath and let it out rather shakily. Instead of relaxing me, I feel even more keyed up then before.
Yoga shmoga.
Crock of lies if you ask me. There isn’t one iota of relaxation in my body at the moment. So I shrug, puff out a short breath, lick my lips just to buy a tad more time and all Cooper does is lift that damn eyebrow of his and I cave like when I was a kid and got caught by my momma stealing a piece of candy from the local grocery. “Not at first,” I reply grudgingly.
“I’m not judging, mind you. You’re an adult. You can do whatever you want. But if you didn’t have that type of arrangement, why did you let him do it?”
My skin grows hot, which is a sure sign that it’s turning a horrendous shade of pink. I shrug, I sniff, I stall, and his patient silence unnerves me so I blurt out, “It was all my fault.”
His jaw clenches. “What the fuck, Angel,” he rasps, his head falls back against the bed. His eyes close but his hands continue moving up and down my back. I could’ve sworn he muttered under his breath, “Heaven help me.” But that last part was uttered under his breath so I’m not sure if I was supposed to hear it or not.
“I wasn’t what he needed.” I push back against his arm and he still doesn’t budge.
His eyes open wide. His dark brows fly high up on his forehead. His hands move to my upper arms and he wraps them completely around my biceps even overlapping a little. Drawing me to him, he drags me up his body until we are nose-to-nose and once again I have no choice but to look him straight in the eyes. Damn he’s good at that. His words surprise me though. I expect to have to defend myself but he does all the work for me.
His eyes darken. All the gold flecks gone. That obviously means he’s S-E-R-I-O-U-S. “Then he needed to cut you loose and find someone else that wanted to play how he wanted to play,” he grinds out. “His only job is to cherish you and help you to grow. It’s his responsibility to stay in control of himself, not yours.”
I don’t respond, but I know my face holds a puzzled look.
“Why didn’t you
talk to anyone? To your friends? To your brothers?” He stares down and his hair falls forward shadowing his features from my view.
“I was embarrassed.” I lower my eyes knowing embarrassment isn’t a valid excuse to continue, but it’s a major reason why I tried to wait it out. Why I tried to see if things would get any better. Change. “I felt stupid that I’d gotten into the position I was in.” I take a deep breath to calm my trembling nerves. “I’m working at freeing myself from him.”
His arm moves again and he puts that damn finger under my chin.
“Look at me, Angel.”
“I can’t talk about this anymore.” I hesitate, then lift my eyes and when I do a single tear slides down my cheek. As he wipes the tear away with his fingertip, I lean into his hand.
“Did you want him to collar you?”
“Really Cowboy? Can’t you just let it rest?”
“Angel.”
“Do you have to keep doing that?”
“I’m not doing anything, Angel.”
My shoulders slump. “You’re not?” My eyes flash in annoyance.
“I’m just sitting here.”
I growl out of frustration. “I’d never even thought of being collared.” I don’t elaborate. I don’t give him any indication of what I really want out of a relationship.
“Well you’re free now,” he says, but his words have a dark tinge to them.
The stomach acids take up a raucous dance in my gut. “Do we have to talk about this anymore?” I ask weakly, letting my forehead drop against his chest. “Please?” I plead with more than a hint of impatience in my voice.
“Angel, not talking about this shit is what got you into trouble in the first place.” Both arms wrap around me. “Angel.” His arms give me a squeeze. “I’m a Dominate.”
My body stills. “I gathered as much,” I whisper into his chest. His arms give another little squeeze and my pulse accelerates with uncertainty.
One hand comes to my jaw and his arm around me grows tight, pulling me closer as he whispers in a low voice, “Do you have a problem with that, Angel?”
I take a moment to think it through. I summon every ounce of courage I possess and finally answer, “I don’t know.” I twist my neck and rest my right cheek against his warmth. He releases my jaw, falling back which gives me a chance to twist my body where I once again lay with my back against his front.
“I’m good with that for right now.” I hear the smile in his voice and feel his mouth brush across my hair.
I look up, our gazes connecting in a way that has meaning that I can’t identify yet. But it’s there. “At least you’re not an asshole.”
“I’m glad that bastard didn’t completely traumatize you.” I can tell that he’s trying not to smile, his lips twitch and his eyes glitter.
I wrap my hands around his forearms where they are crossed over my body. I hold on awash in the blissful sensation of him holding me. His arms are thick with muscles and bulging veins. They’re also strong which helps me relax.
“I’m hungry.” I draw lazy circles over the taut flesh and move along the lines of the tendons and muscles that run up and down his arms.
“That’s a good sign.” I feel his mouth widen into a smile against the top of my head. “Are you trying to change the subject on me, darlin’?”
“Yep.” I pause, my lips twisting in a pucker before I add, “But I really am hungry and not for green Jell-O.”
His chest expands against my back as he inhales and I ride the wave imagining I’m floating in the ocean and just breathe. His lips rub over my hair again. It’s sensual and innocent all at the same time and the unconscious act makes me quiver and feel cherished.
“Why do hospitals always have green Jell-O?”
“Beats me.”
“It’s the worst flavor.” I let out a mournful sigh. “They could at least have orange or even cherry.”
“They could.” Once again I hear the smile in his voice.
“I could really go for a burger right about now.” I inhale and exhale, matching my breaths with his. “With the works.”
His head moves, his chin slides against my cheek, the rough stubble rasps against my skin until his lips skim over my jaw almost in a kiss. He murmurs, “How about when you get outta this joint we grab one?”
My heart jumps at that, like it’s cheering at the Super Bowl and my Titans are actually winning. “You askin’ me out, Cowboy?” My lips spread in a huge smile and I roll my neck, laying the back of my head against his shoulder so I can look up into his face.
He pulls his head back, scrunching up his chin, and stares down at my upturned face. “Sounds like it.” He gives me a lopsided smile flashing one dimple.
“I’ll think about it,” I whisper, mesmerized by his gorgeous smile and his ability to ease my mind.
His arms tighten. “You will, huh?” His voice is deep as he brushes the delicate shell of my ear with his lips.
“Yep, I’ll let ya know.”
His voice vibrates up through his hard chest. “Don’t think too hard or too long, Angel.”
“Why?”
His nostrils flare as he turns me again with very little effort to face him. I kneel with my bottom resting on my heels. His strong arms gather me close. Chest to breasts. Nose to nose. Our hot breaths mingling. “Isn’t it obvious?”
I furrow my brows in question.
“I’m hungry.”
And that’s when it happens. The second thing that changes my life forever.
His hand closes on the back of my neck and he kisses me. And it isn’t just any kiss. It’s the kiss to end all kisses. It’s light and sweet and dark and full of passionate longing that can’t be assuaged with just a kiss but has to because you can’t do anything else about it at that moment kind of kiss.
And I was right.
His lips are as warm as they look when he smiles.
I surrender.
I open my mouth beneath his, responding just as fiercely leaving me dizzy with desire. The harsh sound of him sucking in a deep, desperate breath slows the blood in my veins and I melt into his arms, giving myself fully to his embrace. A low moan rises from my throat as his hands roam over my back in soothing circles. My hands slide from his shoulders down his chest to wrap around his waist so I can lean fully into him.
His erection swells against my belly and his passionate reaction to our embrace emboldens me further. I shift, moan, and tremble. My lips part and I rise up, wrap my arms around his neck and hang on. His tongue probes deeper, running along the bumpy edges of my teeth, the roof of my mouth, and then strokes the surface of my tongue until I tear my mouth away.
“Fine.” My answer whispers breathlessly against his mouth. I press my lips to his to stifle my giggle and feel rather than see the smile that lifts his lips. “I’ll go out with you.”
His breath comes in deep gulping gasps. His hair mussed from my fingers, falls around his face that’s flushed with desire, his lips swollen from my kisses.
This time I see his smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners in the manner in which I’m growing to love with his dimples prominent on both cheeks. When he stops, I can’t move. I can only stare up into his intent gaze, trembling and out of breath. My breasts rising and falling with each ragged breath I draw into my lungs.
He leans in. “I wasn’t going to let you say no, Angel,” he whispers into my ear, sending even more tingles down my spine. His hand brushes over my cheek and back so he can comb the tangled hair from my face. He places his lips against my neck, nuzzling my nape and additional delightful little shivers dance clean up my spine as a deep feeling of euphoria takes over.
His eyes turn a deep golden brown as they follow the glistening path my tongue makes as it glides over my lips, puffy and swollen from his kisses.
“The sight of your pink, swollen lips makes my cock hard. The way your breath hitches and your pulse jumps when I come near you makes me nearly lose control.” His fingers drag roughly through his
hair, his eyes holding the mischievous glint of the devil in their depths.
“And that’s a bad thing?” I prompt.
His eyes move over my face, burning my flesh with the heat of his gaze. Fervent. They stop at my mouth again before lifting back to my eyes. “It’s not a bad thing to lose control.” He scrubs a hand over his full days growth of beard. The sound of his palm brushing over the prickly stubble sends shivers down my spine as I recall the feel of them scraping over my flesh.
“Good to know.” My lips tilt up further. I tug on the loose strands of hair that hang over his collar and his gaze pins me, holding me in place.
“That is unless the one you want to lose control with is more than a little bit battered and bruised.”
“Bless your heart.” My eyes drop to his grin. I’m forced to draw air into my lungs because when I look at him, I can barely breathe. “I say that facetiously, Cowboy, because you’re gonna have a difficult time convincing me that you’ve ever gone without.”
His lips brush over the top of my head and I lift my eyes to his. I’m sure that he can see the desire evident in the deep pools of green that stare back at him because he closes his eyes on a groan.
His hands rub up and down my arms in long, relaxing strokes. “You don’t understand, Angel.” He wraps a hand around my nape with a leashed power in his gentle touch barely held in check as he strokes his hands over my body.
“What don’t I understand?”
“I want you bad. I want to undress you and feel your naked body pressed against mine.”
“You do?” My heart pounds like a jackhammer at the thought of our naked bodies pressed together. My brow furrows, I purse my lips, tilt my head playfully to the side. “And how’s that bad?”
“God.” He sticks his fingers in my hair and tugs. “I want to feel your gorgeous hair brushing over my flesh and run my rough hands over every inch of your soft little body.” He pauses, looking off into the space ahead of him. Something deep stirs in his face, and his hand presses infinitesimally tighter at the back of my head making me crave more.
When You Only Need To Ask (The House of Siin) Page 9
