Damn. My disguise is useless. It’s like he already knows who I am. Even in the darkened room I can tell he’s looking right at me. It’s very disconcerting. As if the mask does little to truly hide who I am from his overly observant eyes and I take in a deep audible breath. I don’t know if it’s from weariness, or relief that I don’t have to hide from him?
On the surface I’m going to pretend that I didn’t come here hoping to see him in his true element. I’m going to pretend that I came only for my piece of mind. I know it’s all a fucking lie. I came because I burn with an unmistakable lust that I’ve not been able to quench since he came to my house. My mind has been nothing but mush since he crouched down in the door of my overturned jeep and since the night his mouth touched my body in the most intimate of ways imaginable.
He’s everything I imagined a true Dom to be. Kind, caring, masculine, strong, and masterful without being cruel. He’s everything Nate is not and he gives me hope.
I steel myself for his approach putting up a thick wall, yet he doesn’t move anything but his eyes. His eyes manage to burn me from the top of my head all the way to the tips of my toes with one sweeping glance. When his eyes return to mine, his brow does that lift. The one that says he knows that I’m hiding and that he won’t allow it.
There goes my defense mechanism again. I feel it kicking in with that look. How the fuck can he know that? He doesn’t know me. One freakin’ orgasm and he thinks he knows me? I lift my brow in a mock gesture even though the mask hides the movement. Still my gaze wavers. Bratty isn’t a good trait in a submissive. Unfortunately, it’s my go-to defense mechanism.
He crooks his finger at me in a way that implies I shouldn’t decline. I think about it a second and still make the choice in the somewhat crowded room to do just that. Decline. Before I can say bless your heart, he’s suddenly standing right in front of me, toe-to-toe, looming over me, emphasizing the disparity of our sizes. But instead of frightening me, his big, powerful body makes me feel safe in the crowded room.
“What are you doing here by yourself?” His dark eyes search my face, his arms crossed over his chest. I can tell by the tightness of his muscled arms that he’s working hard at keeping a tight rein on his temper.
I shrug.
“You could make a preacher cuss,” he mutters and I smother a smile when I see him almost roll his eyes, pausing before he lets out a loud sigh. There’s a tiny smile curving up his lips that he quickly hides. “Angel.” His tone is ripe with command as he taps his index finger lightly against my lips.
I lean in making a frustrated sound in the back of my throat and with gritted teeth I whisper, “Damn you, why do you do that?” My voice small and hesitant quavers softly and I feel a pang of guilt at my ill-mannered behavior so I quickly lower my eyes. I don’t even have time to brace myself when I sense the change in him.
He grips my chin, not hard, yet enough to make me realize that he is truly a Dom. That he expects me to treat him as such. Realizing this, I attempt to disengage his fingers, but they’re too strong. Vibrations spread throughout me at his command of my body with his gentle touch. My shoulders move in the briefest of movements, but it’s enough for him to notice.
“Use your words, Angel.” He releases my chin only to cup my jaw. His thumb rubs lightly back and forth over my bottom lip in a sensual, sweeping movement that does nothing to assist with my lack of concentration and my obstinate refusal to answer truthfully.
I close my eyes and take in a deep breath, then blow it out in a whoosh. “I just needed to come.” When I reopen them, I cross my arms over my chest to replace the comfort my closed eyes had brought. “Is that good enough for you, Sir?” I know my tone is disrespectful and my emphasis of the word Sir is inappropriate in this environment. I walked in the club a sub, yet I’m deliberately acting like a brat. And I’m doing everything to gain disciplinary action from someone. I want it to be him. I need it to be him. “Where did you run off to, Sheriff?” I hiss this out. He touches me, disappears. Yeah, I’m fightin’ mad.
“I had work.”
“I know for a fact that there are phones where you work.”
“Yes there are, but it was imperative that I distance myself to get this particular job done.” His eyes are serious. “I had no choice.”
“No choice?”
“That would be the only thing that could keep me from contacting you for three whole days.”
“It would?” I ask with my voice full of skepticism.
“Yes.”
“Fine.”
He almost rolls his eyes with my answer. “What do you need, Angel.” His words accompanied by a low-sounding growl. His eyes glow a warm golden hue as they pierce me with the obvious need he’s trying to hide in their depths. But I can see it. His fingers move from my chin to my throat and I swallow.
I start to shrug again, but catch myself this time. I swallow again. “How do you do that?”
His lips curve up at the corners and his head shakes back and forth as if he’s resigned to my quirks. He takes a step closer and his body heat engulfs me. His scent swirls around me and I can’t help but inhale deeply at the masculine spices that assail my nostrils. “Do what?”
“Make your eyes glow.”
“I didn’t know I did that.”
“You do. You are. You do it all the time.” My mouth curves up. “Especially when you’re super serious. In big, bad sheriff mode.”
“Ah…” He drawls out the word as if now it all makes sense. “Now I know why people scatter when I look at them.”
I look down without responding and he lifts my chin.
“Are you here to play?” He glances over his shoulder to the scene playing out behind him. It’s a woman draped over a spanking bench and a man with a large leather covered paddle. Her cheeks have been reddened by her Dom’s attention and I feel my body grow warm.
I raise my eyes and I feel the heat of tears sting behind them and my nostrils burn. I want to cry. I want to curl up in a ball and wish the past away. I wish I was starting fresh and he was the first I’d encountered, but it’s not so and it never will be. “I don’t know.” I force the words through my throat clogged with unshed tears.
“Do you want to play, Angel?”
And with that question, it’s as if he exposed a raw nerve. How nice it would be to be unfailing honest with someone. With someone who knows and understands what my desires are. I stand there feeling uncontrollable tears pool in my eyes and I know that he sees them glittering even in the dark room. My eyes fall closed and I feel the tears squeeze past my lashes and slide hotly down my cheeks. I want to feel safe. That’s what I want. I feel his hands cup the sides of my face and feel his golden gaze. I open my eyes to see he’s studying me intently.
“It’s not a test. Just be honest, Angel.” He assures me easily. “The only wrong answer is the one where you lie to yourself.”
I watch as his eyes travel over the paths that the tears are taking and I sigh as he wipes the silvery lines of tears from my cheeks with his callused thumbs. Then sigh when he bends down and kisses the streaks of tears from each cheek before pressing his lips to mine. Not a kiss full of passion, but a gentle brush of his lips against mine. A kiss given more for comfort than for arousal. But it does both. His tender attention slows the tears that fall and his care arouses me more than anything else he could have done at that moment. Heat spreads through my body and warms me from my fingertips to my toes.
He lifts his lips from mine, his head tilted with eyes full of compassion. “How ‘bout we get a drink and sit on a comfortable couch and just talk.”
My palms are suddenly sweating profusely so I rub them repetitively down the sides of my short skirt. “I’d like that.”
“Good.”
I follow as he leads me across the room with a hand at the small of my back. We pass through a thick wooden door and make our way to a quiet, sparsely lit corner. I watch as he gestures to one of the servers, then motions for me to sit on
the couch.
I lower my eyes and ask, “Don’t you want me to kneel?” The quaver in my voice betrays my anxiousness, yet a small smile creeps on my face at the idea of kneeling between his legs. I can feel my cheek resting against his inner thigh. Feel the muscles flexing as he tries to control his lust for me. That’s what I imagine. Him squelching and overabundant lust for me and fighting the fire that only I can quench with every ounce of strength and self-control he holds in his body.
“Do you want to kneel?” I feel his gaze burning into the top of my head, so I lift my eyes. I don’t know how to answer at first, because him asking me that seems so out of character.
I take a steadying breath and answer with my voice full of emotion. “I want to do whatever pleases you, Sir.”
Cooper’s hand reaches out to grasp my wrist and he tugs me close with very little effort. I keep my eyes on his long, thick, tanned fingers where they grip my white wrists. The contrast is erotic. My paleness surrounded by his darkness. “It does please me that you would consider my desires even on such short acquaintance.”
I slowly lift my eyes letting them travel over his white linen covered chest, past the tufts of dark hair that are visible at the V of his shirt, the thick chords of his throat, past his strong jaw, his plump, beautiful lips, his crooked nose, which causes a flicker of a smile to lift the corners of my mouth, and finally to look into his golden-hued eyes glinting with amusement at my slow perusal and my cheeks flush.
I slowly shake myself out of my stupor at the sound of an unfamiliar voice behind me and listen to the deference behind her words. “Yes, Sir?”
“Two Cokes.”
I twist my neck to watch the server defer to his authority and I pay attention to his friendliness. He isn’t cruel and overly demanding. I notice that. I like that.
“Please sit, Angel.”
I sit, pressing myself deep into the corner and glance up to see his brow lifted.
“Comfortable?” He sits back in the opposite corner and twists so that he’s facing me with his left arm stretched out, resting along the back of the couch.
“Yes, Sir.” My answer rote as the feel of his fingertips brushing against my shoulder is unsettling.
“Good. How are you feeling?”
“Fine.”
He shakes his head with a small smile. “Ribs not hurting any longer?”
“Not really.” I lift my shoulders in a shrug. “Sometimes a twinge if I move weird.”
“Don’t move weird.”
I roll my eyes. “I’ll keep that in mind, Sir.” This I say with a hint of sarcasm lacing my words.
His brow lifts again. “Was that sarcasm lacing your words, Angel?”
I echo his look with a brow lift of my own. Our playful interaction invigorates me.
“Move and sit next to me.”
I hesitate and that’s when the server returns with our drinks, placing them on the side table next to Cooper.
“Thank you,” Cooper responds to the server as she takes a step back.
“Anything else, Sir?”
“That will be all.”
“Yes, Sir.”
I still sit pressed into my corner of the couch and watch as he lifts one of the glasses and takes a sip. I watch his throat move with each swallow and I watch as his eyes stay trained on me throughout the entire process of taking a drink.
Surprise flickers in my eyes as he says, “Move.”
I slowly inch across the cool leather until there is only about one foot separating us.
“Closer.”
“Why?”
He lifts that damn brow again, appraising me with his golden eyes.
I begin moving the last few inches and his eyes don’t leave mine the entire time it takes me to slowly slide those last few centimeters. I don’t stop this time until our thighs barely touch and the heat moves inward until my entire body feels like hot coals left in the bottom of a fire. I sigh when his hand lands at my nape and his long fingers caress the exposed flesh at the back of my neck. The tips of each callused finger rubbing over my skin makes me shiver. Then he slides his fingers around to stroke the side and I wish we could stay this way forever. With each deft stroke, I could feel the tension leaving my body in soft waves.
“I don’t know what it is yet, Angel, but there’s something about you that has me completely enthralled.”
My heart hammers against my ribs and I can’t help but stare at him with my mouth hanging open at what he revealed. I also watch as he fills his lungs with air and slowly exhales.
He smiles and his dimples deepen to delightful craters and his hand glides around to my jaw and pushes my mouth closed. His eyes narrow. “You find that odd?”
I sit quietly for a second, then clear my throat in order for the words to come out. “I’m just surprised. That’s all.”
“Why?”
“You’re amazing.”
“Thank you.” He chuckles. “What do you find amazing about me, Angel?”
I tick off the list on my fingers. “You’re gorgeous. You’re powerful. You’re so kind. You’re so tall.”
He lets out a full-on laugh accompanied by his head thrown back. My gaze flickers around the room to see a few heads turn in our direction at his outburst. “You’re concluding your list of why I’m amazing with you’re so tall?”
There’s no way in hell I can stop the smile that determined to spread across my face. “I guess that is pretty lame.”
“Not lame—just unexpected.”
I sober just a little. “Remember.” I huff out a breath. “I told you that I sometimes have a really hard time verbalizing how I feel or what I think.”
“Only sometimes?” With his longish hair now falling over his forehead, I can’t really see his eyebrow. But based on the look in his eyes, I can conclude that it’s probably up even higher on his forehead. I stifle a smile at his mock surprise.
I shrug. “Yeah, when it’s not too personal.”
“It’s a start.”
I hold myself stiff. I don’t want to feel this good, it makes me nervous. Makes me afraid that I’ll start enjoying his company too much and that I’ll need it. Just like with Nate. I have to guard my heart. My soul. I can’t afford to have them taken from me again by someone who won’t give a shit how it affects me when he’s through with them.
But just like him, I feel something. Something almost magical. Cheesy, I know. An impulse I can’t fight takes a hold of me and I reach up and run my fingers through his goatee before drawing a single finger across his perfectly formed lips.
I feel him freeze and he just stares. Like it surprises him that I’ve touched him. I bit down hard on my lip, my chin jutting out with firm determination.
He reaches up and grips my wrist, holding my hand firm to his lips and places a kiss on my palm.
“Have you had enough, Angel?” His lips move across my flesh as he speaks. I know what he means. He means have my fears eased. Have they?
I can’t stop my smile. “Yes, Sir.” I want to look away. To hide my eyes so that he can’t see what’s truly hidden in their depths, but I can’t. Not from him. “For tonight.”
He stands and holds out his hand. “Then let me walk you to your car.”
I stare at his hand as if it’s going to bite me. The tanned skin, the long fingers, the visible veins protruding over the top in sexy lines and the only thought that keeps playing over and over in my mind is when will I feel them run over my body again?
“Angel,” he all but croons out my name and I lift my gaze up his over six foot frame to meet his glowing eyes.
“Yes, Sir?”
“Stand.” He arches a brow.
“Yes, Sir.” And it looks as if he’s biting his lips together to keep from smiling but his dimples make a quick appearance so I know that he’s amused and I start to get warm all over again.
I gingerly place my smaller hand in his larger one and allow him to pull me to my feet. His hand feels nice. I feel his heat surrou
nd me as he releases my hand and lays his arm over my shoulder pulling me close to his side. He leans down, his lips brushing against my ear sending ridiculous tingles to my core and encompassing me with a shield of security. Once again I savor the feel of his body against mine, even with the clothing that separates us, and imagine the time when nothing will separate us. Nothing at all.
He chuckles and the deep throatiness of the sound skitters down my spine. “Come on, Angel.” I feel the gentle wisp of his warm breath as his lips skim over my forehead. “Let’s get you home.”
I can’t help the grin that tugs at my lips as he pushes us through the thick crowd that’s taken over the club. I’m proud of myself. I did it. Once again I made the first step to heal. And once again Cooper was there to help.
Chapter Sixteen
A gentleman should always address a lady with the title Miss.
As soon as his large frame fills the doorway, pleasure tears through me and I feel like a giddy teenager. After my little breakdown at the club he’s made a point to stop in every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. My skin prickles and tingles and all the wonderful things he’d done with his mouth, tongue, hands, and words, every little, itty, bitty thing he’d done to me practically burns me alive like a flash fire.
Suddenly the large room feels small.
Too small.
The air thick.
Too thick.
Just like the heat of summer with the humidity stealing your breath as soon as you open a door to walk outside. It’s a struggle just to fill my lungs. I glance around the large foyer fanning myself with a piece of paper I’d swiped off the desk. Grateful to be standing behind the large mahogany counter so that I can use it for support. I’m able to prop myself nonchalantly behind it. ‘Cause I damn sure don’t think my legs could support my wobbly knees otherwise.
When You Only Need To Ask (The House of Siin) Page 18
