“It doesn’t matter, sweetheart. I love you.” Harry stroked his wife’s arm. “In sickness and health, remember.”
Amara recognized the woman’s meaning. “When was your mastectomy?” She ignored the tilt of Eli’s head as she grabbed a pair of gloves and moved toward the bed.
“Two weeks ago.”
She would always look different—Amara knew that. But judging her body two weeks postsurgery wasn’t fair either.
“We need to look at the incisions, Betty.” Eli’s concerned tone raked over Amara. “I promise they’re not nearly as bad as you think.”
The kind statement sent a wave of hope pulsing through Amara. She patted her arm. “I know it’s scary, but it does get better.”
Eli’s gaze flicked from Betty to Amara.
Would Eli tell her that her scars weren’t that bad too?
Amara pushed the thought away as she looked at Betty. “In a few months, the scars will start to lighten. I promise. They go from red to pink, and eventually, they just become part of you.”
“And you’re beautiful, no matter what,” Harry insisted as he stared at his wife. “But if you want me to leave the room, I will.”
“Stay.” Betty’s chin wobbled, but she started to unbutton her shirt.
The redness along the scars sent a shiver through Amara. Betty needed intravenous antibiotics to get the infection under control before it spread.
As Eli explained that they needed to admit Betty for a day or so, Amara slipped from the room. She needed to get Betty’s transfer paperwork done, so they could free up the room, but she had to get away from Eli too.
Every doctor and nurse knew that the scars would lighten, but by the look on his face when she’d explained that to Betty, Eli had known Amara was speaking from experience.
She was almost certain.
It didn’t matter; she’d already decided to tell him. Show him. And he’d been kind and supportive of Betty. It was going to be fine...it was.
So why were her hands shaking?
CHAPTER EIGHT
ELI SAW AMARA start to climb his steps carrying bags of groceries and rushed to open the door. “Why didn’t you beep the horn or let me know you needed help with a mountain of vegetables?” he asked as he grabbed two of the sacks from her hands.
Amara had disappeared after they’d worked together on Betty last night. Her response to their teenage patient Hannah’s fear that her boyfriend would dump her over a scar, and her reaction to Betty made him almost certain that she’d also had surgery, likely a mastectomy. But he was worried that if he asked, she’d shut him out. Amara was beautiful, every inch of her. Nothing could change that.
The procedure she’d had didn’t matter to Eli. But it had obviously mattered to someone else. And he hated that she’d been hurt.
His phone buzzed, and he barely controlled the urge to roll his eyes or answer immediately. Part of him wanted to be able to do both. Marshall had texted about The Collins Research Group all morning and called twice this afternoon. Amara was here, so Eli silenced the alerts from Marshall.
Tonight was all about Amara, Eli reminded himself. If their second chance was going to succeed, any work needed to be on mute when he was with her.
“It’s okay if you need to answer that.” Amara kissed his cheek as she put a few things in the fridge. “I know your work is important.”
Her offer was sweet, but Eli shook his head. “Lizzy is staying with my mom, so all we have on the agenda tonight is cooking.”
“That’s all?” Amara’s eyes widened.
Eli stepped next to her and ran a finger down her cheek. “We can do whatever you want, Amara. Anything or nothing.”
“Eli...” She suddenly closed the distance between them.
He captured her lips and felt her body mold against his. Her arms wrapped around him as her lips parted. The world righted when Amara was in his life.
Eli lifted her onto the counter, and his heart raced as her legs wrapped around his waist. He let his fingers run through her long dark hair. He’d come to life the first time they’d kissed. Spending time with her now was heaven. Her fingers sent flames of longing running down his spine as she held him.
The oven dinged to indicate it was up to temperature, and she pulled away. “If we are going to eat dinner, I should...” Her fingers brushed her swollen lips as she gestured to the bags of groceries.
Eli pressed his head against her forehead. “Or we could order a pizza and cook tomorrow?”
* * *
Amara stared at him. “I...” She wanted to agree so badly. She’d hidden last night after treating Betty because she hadn’t wanted to have this conversation at the hospital. Hadn’t wanted to have it all, but if he couldn’t accept her as she was, then it was better to know now. Actually, it would have been better to know weeks ago before she’d gotten close to him again. But Amara couldn’t change that now.
“Pizza.” Amara wrapped her arms around Eli’s neck, and before she could get another word out, he kissed her. She wanted to kiss him forever, wanted to stay in his arms now and always, but he had to know.
“Eli,” Amara murmured as she pulled back. His eyes were dilated with passion and need. She swallowed the last bit of her anxiety. Amara had to trust him.
Eli’s fingers traced along the edge of her thigh as he watched her. “Amara, I want you. Need you, but if you aren’t ready, I will wait as long as you want.”
She took a deep breath. “I don’t look the same.” Her whispered words echoed across the kitchen. “I...” Amara paused, suddenly feeling sick.
“Had a mastectomy?” Eli asked as he kissed her forehead.
She blinked as he traced her jaw with his thumb. Sparks of need and hope lit up her body. “How do you know?”
“I wasn’t completely sure, but you pull away any time my fingers move toward your breasts. You couldn’t tell Hannah that her boyfriend wouldn’t dump her over her scar, and you talked to Betty with such understanding.”
She didn’t think the look of desire in Eli’s eyes had changed, but he hadn’t seen the actual scars—yet. “I had a preventative double mastectomy three years ago. I took the genetic test after Mom was diagnosed. I was BRCA1 positive. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. My surgeon did a great job on the reconstruction, but... I was worried that it would...” Amara’s voice died away as she stared at him. She didn’t know what else to say, so she closed her eyes and waited.
* * *
His heart melted as her bottom lip quivered. “Amara, look at me.” Eli kissed her cheek then waited for her to open her eyes. “You are gorgeous.”
“I wanted to tell you weeks ago,” she stated. “I kept meaning to. But I was scared it would make you look at me differently.” Her voice quavered.
So other men hadn’t been able to see past the scars. He hated that. Placing his palms against her cheeks, Eli kissed her deeply. “You are perfection.”
Once again, her legs wrapped around his waist. But she folded her hands across her lap, looking everywhere but at him. “Not exactly perfection. The scars are lighter now, but...” Amara shrugged.
“Can I see them?” Eli asked. Until he saw them, she’d worry. And whatever they looked like—he didn’t care. Amara was here, with him. Nothing else mattered.
Amara hesitated, then she started to unbutton her blouse. His body raced with desire as she slid the shirt off her shoulders.
She was so lovely.
Eli didn’t say anything. He let his hands rest on her knees. He couldn’t imagine the emotions rolling through her right now, but Eli could see what a struggle this was.
Her hands shook as she reached to unclasp her silky blue bra.
“Let me.” Eli kissed the top of her ear. “You are so beautiful.”
“You don’t know that.”
Eli unclasped her bra and slowly sl
id it down her arms, but never broke her gaze. Then he deliberately dropped his eyes to her chest.
“Amara.” He ran his hands along the edges of her breasts, noticing each place where her breath hitched. “Your scars don’t define you, love.” Her lip trembled, but he didn’t stop. He was not going to let her doubt how much she turned him on. “They show the strength you have, and that makes them part of the tapestry of your beauty.”
Stepping back, Eli held her hands as he stared at her, all of her. The long reconstructive scars across each breast didn’t diminish her at all. He couldn’t imagine the strength it had taken to make that choice. She was amazing.
“You are kind, intelligent, sweet and damn sexy.” Eli held his breath as the ghost of a smile tripped along her lips.
“Sexy?” Her eyes held his. Hope hovered there, but Eli also saw the worry.
“Unbelievably so. Come to bed with me, and I will spend the rest of tonight showing you exactly how much you—all of you—turns me on.” As soon as she nodded, Eli picked her up. Tonight, Amara was going to have no doubt just how much Eli wanted her.
And only her.
* * *
Eli’s strong hands laid her on the bed, and Amara tried to calm her mind. He’d looked at the long scars, kissed her and told her how beautiful she was. Amara hadn’t realized how much she needed to hear those words until Eli spoke them. She wanted to remember everything about tonight.
Eli’s fingers ran along the top of her blue jeans, and she sucked in a breath as he undid the buttons and slid them down her hips. She was suddenly acutely aware that she was nearly naked, and Eli had yet to shed a stitch of clothing. He pulled away as she reached for his shirt. Self-consciousness flashed across her body. “Eli?”
“If I start stripping, I don’t trust myself to savor tonight.” His fingers traced lines of fire along her bare skin. “I’ve dreamed of touching you again for years, honey. Tonight, I’m going to worship every inch of you.”
“That is quite the promise.” Amara sighed as he stroked the inside of her thighs. Shivers of delight erupted along her body as his lips glided along her belly. Need poured through her as the stubble on Eli’s jaw raked along her sensitive skin. She’d imagined being in his arms for weeks—years. Amara wasn’t sure she could stand being worshipped. She needed him...now.
Eli kissed the base of one breast, and Amara gripped the sheets.
She could do this.
The scars were just scars. They didn’t matter to him.
He paused. Raising his head, Eli trailed kisses along the edge of her jaw while his fingers moved over the scars on her breasts. “Honey, every inch of you is gorgeous to me—every single inch.”
Drawing a breath, Amara released her grip. She didn’t have much feeling in her chest. More ghost sensations, but with each of Eli’s gentle strokes, her body burned. “Eli.” her voice shook as she delicately kissed his lips.
“I...” Under his watchful eyes, she grew bold. There was no room for doubt when she was in Eli’s bed.
Grabbing his hand, she guided it lower. “I want you here.” Her breath caught as Eli’s fingers slid under her cotton panties.
His thumb stroked her as his lips traced the outer edges of her breasts, where the sensation was still the strongest. Each caress sent her soaring a bit higher as Eli worshipped her.
Cool air hit her bottom, and Amara shuddered as Eli trailed kisses lower. His tongue licked the sensitive skin along her upper thighs. She was heady with need as Eli slowly made his way to where she wanted him. Her back arched as his tongue darted across her most sensitive spot. The sensation was too much and not enough. “Eli!”
“You still taste sweet.” Eli gripped her buttocks and held her as he drove her closer to pleasure’s edge.
When Amara grabbed the sheets this time, it was with need. “Eli!” she moaned as he slipped a long finger into her. He stroked her slowly as he feathered kisses where they were most needed. Energy spread through her, as Amara finally gave herself over to pleasure.
* * *
Amara’s release nearly sent Eli over the edge himself. Dropping his clothes to the floor, he slid back into bed with her. Tracing his hand along her hip, Eli swept a line of kisses along her shoulder.
Amara’s delicate touch sent a scorching line of need across Eli’s soul. Her fingers slid slowly up his back, raced across his stomach, caressed his chest as if she was trying to memorize him too.
Capturing her mouth, Eli drank her in. “Amara...” Her name fell from his lips. He doubted that heaven could be any sweeter than this.
“Eli, worship me later,” she gasped. “I need you.” Her hand stroked his shaft. “All of you—now!”
The demand sent his heart soaring. Amara... Grabbing a condom from the nightstand, he quickly sheathed himself. Amara’s lips pressed against his collarbone as he slowly entered her.
His body screamed with desire, but Eli was determined not to rush this. He’d waited too long for her. Dropping his head, he placed deliberate kisses along the base of Amara’s neck as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Pulling him closer, deeper.
Drawing his lips to hers, Amara met each of his strokes. Nipping at his ear, she ran her nails lightly across his back. “Eli...” she moaned as her body convulsed around him.
Her next climax undid him. Eli drove into her. Amara gripped his shoulders, holding him, loving him. As his name fell from her lips, he let himself crest over the edge into release.
Eli relished the tender moments afterward, as their bodies lay tangled together. Home, she was home.
His Amara.
Rising, he quickly disposed of the condom and then rejoined her in bed. Running his fingers along her stomach, he cradled her beside him. Amara, in his arms, was the definition of heaven.
CHAPTER NINE
ELI WANDERED OVER to the nurses’ station and handed Amara a cup of tea. Her smile sent a thrill through him.
“And here I was afraid you might stop bringing me tea, once we’d been dating a bit.” Amara winked as she took a long sip.
“Was that an option?” Eli teased as she rolled her eyes. “I missed you last night.” Her dark eyes caught his, and he felt like the luckiest man in the world. Amara was working beside him, staying at his place at least a few times a week and generally just making everything better in his world.
The radio by Amara’s hand crackled to life. “Boston Gen.,” she answered. “Repeat. Over.”
“Male, midthirties, car accident. Inbound in three. Over.”
Amara stood and followed Eli toward the door. “It doesn’t sound critical.” She moved, rubbing the back of her foot with her ankle and crossed her arms.
Preparing.
Eli nodded as he stood in the ambulance bay with her. Preparing was what emergency personnel did. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. The paramedics hadn’t indicated critical, but he’d seen minor injuries turn life-threatening in minutes.
Seconds changed lives.
A young woman climbed out of the ambulance and lost her balance. She caught herself on the door and frowned. “Sorry.” She stepped to the side as the paramedics lowered a man from the back.
“Julian. I’m here.” She followed a few feet behind the gurney as they walked toward trauma room 3.
“Crashed into the side of a tree. Driver’s side door crushed against his shoulder,” the paramedic stated as he walked beside the bed.
“The roads are wet,” Julian explained, but Eli kept his focus on the paramedic.
“Airbag deployed, burns on the wrist and he hit his head.” The paramedic checked a few items on the paperwork before handing it to the admitting nurse.
“This feels like an overreaction,” the patient complained as he pulled at the collar around his neck.
“Julian, let them look you over.” The tall blonde slid into a chair and closed
her eyes. “It will make me feel better.”
“Were you in the car too?” Amara moved toward the woman.
“Passenger side. No damage. My husband, though...” The woman’s words died away.
A look of concern crossed Amara’s face as she caught Eli’s gaze. He raised a brow, and she nodded toward the passenger and tapped her own head. “Can you tell me your name?” Amara asked.
“Kelly.” The woman’s voice was quiet.
Turning to Julian, Eli ran through his concussion protocols as Amara did with Kelly. Julian had a minor concussion, and his burns from the airbag were superficial. Overall the man was going to need to take it easy for a few days, but then he’d be fine.
“Eli!”
He hit the alarm by Julian’s bed before racing to Amara’s aid. Eli barely managed to help Amara catch the woman as she fell out of the chair.
“Kelly!” Julian yelled and started to sit up.
“I need you to stay where you are until I clear you,” Eli ordered.
“My wife...”
“I understand, but stay there. Please.” Eli wished there was a way to alleviate the man’s panic. But Julian had a minor brain injury. The last thing they needed was two patients on the floor.
Griffin and Susan were by their sides in a matter of moments.
“She almost fell getting out of the ambulance with her husband. Her movements were slow and exaggerated, and I think the lights in here caused her pain, though she didn’t tell me.” Amara recited the issues as they led Kelly into her own room.
* * *
Eli rubbed the back of his neck as he walked toward Julian’s room. His wife’s CT scan had come back indicating a crack on the right side of her head. She’d probably hit the window, and the small bleed hadn’t impacted her for over an hour.
Amara staying by Kelly’s side while he examined Julian had kept the woman from further injuring herself. Amara’s instincts had been spot-on. Working with her, being beside her, made every day better.
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