by Sergio Black
“Just one last squeeze!” Lisa Ann starts to pull her arm in protest, her warm blood slicking her wrists like WD-40, allowing her to yank free from the Mad Doctor’s clutches. Lisa Ann cups her hand, holding desperate to the fresh sore, trying to clot the blood that seeps between her fingers.
“You’re fucking-” Lisa Ann’s sentence is cut short when the Temple’s foundation starts quaking, everything beneath them rifts like tectonic plates, and the square stone floor crumbles into blocky bits. Lisa Ann and the Mad Doctor fall through the open floor but are stopped short when the strap of his satchel snags on the edge of a loose vine. Lisa Ann holds tightly to the waistline of his pants.
“Andrew! You need to pull us up! Free your hand and drop the knife!” The Mad Doctor licks his lips as sweat breaks through on his wide forehead. The Mad Doctor looks toward the blue sky and sees the clouds take on the form of a Death God.
“No, I stand by my ideology, Lisa Ann!” The Mad Doctor knows it is now or never and will go to whatever lengths it takes to prove his theory. The Mad Doctor uses the blade and starts swiping at the satchel’s strap that’s keeping them from plunging into the dark abyss below. Lisa Ann feels the teetering movement of the Mad Doctor’s savage swipes, then cranes her head outward like an ostrich.
“Are you fucking insane!?” The Mad Doctor can feel the strap giving way and gives one last wild swing. The strap severs with a loud SHRP! Lisa Ann and the Mad Doctor fall into the pit, the blocky floor refurbishes itself and seals off the sunlight as if nothing happened. Lisa Ann spirals through the darkness, she can’t help but to deviate inside her own thoughts, ‘is this the end? Is this how I die? Afraid and robbed of hope at the bottom of this forgone hole?’
The Mad Doctor yells loudly, “Lisa Ann!” Lisa Ann flutters her eyelids several times, snapping her head to the side, she re-grounds herself to the reality of their situation. The Mad Doctor reaches out just barely grazing her forearm before managing to grab hold of Lisa Ann’s arm while tucking the satchel tightly between his ribs and underarm. “Lisa Ann! You need to stop our descent! Or we both die!”
The Mad Doctor, for the first time in a long time, questions his own actions and starts to think his plan was a bad idea. Shutting both eyes tightly, he braces himself for the hard collision, hoping he’ll survive the splat. Lisa Ann can see the bottom of the floor draw near as her eyes adjust to the surrounding darkness. Inches before they become crimson smears on yellow limestone, Lisa Ann feels an intense spark of ecstasy, and senses the life force of every being in the universe. Desperation ignites the ascension of her second soul, then the red energy explodes outward, she briefly absorbs all the power in the universe, ascending from a mere human to a Superior being. The red aura covers their bodies as they safely descend to the bottom. Andrew is astonished as he witnesses dust, sediment and sand part beneath them like Moses’ parting the Red Sea. Lisa Ann stares at the ancient limestone floor, she slows their descent until she and the Mad Doctor touch belly down.
The Mad Doctor rolls his head toward Lisa Ann and laughs loudly, “HAHAHAH! Bravo, Lisa Ann!” The Mad Doctor scrambles to his feet and pumps his fist several times. “Take that, mother! Who’s the failure now!” Lisa Ann jumps to her feet, and covers the Mad Doctor’s chapped lips.
“SHHH! Listen…” Straight ahead, several glowing figures advance through a wide corridor, clumsily they stumble down a limestone staircase, the stone quivers beneath their feet as mysterious figures approach under heavy footsteps. Stopping at the bottom of the staircase, the triad of shadows looms 20 feet in length, overshadowing everything in the monument in what is the Tomb of Shadows. The figures that impede their progress forward have clunky bodies made of boulder-sized stone, with transparent faces, and a single clash of red n’ blue light at the center. Blocky heads CLUNK! and CLICK! when alternating between fixed expressions of Greek Theatre Muses, Thalia and Melpomene. The Mad Doctor gulps, then begins to tread with caution, peeling Lisa Ann’s palm away from his dry lips, he lets her porcelain fingers linger between his sweaty hands.
“Lisa Ann?” Lisa Ann doesn’t speak and refuses to move even an inch, not wanting to relinquish her position, but instead rolls her eyes so they rest on the Mad Doctor, moving her lips like a ventriloquist.
“Don’t move a muscle…” The Giants stand with a foreboding presence, letting ominous silence grip the Tomb. The Mad Doctor gives her hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go. Lisa Ann’s breathing becomes rapid as the Mad Doctor steps toward the rocky figures that to him resemble a 1930s Iron diving suits. “What are you doing?” The Mad Doctor walks forward with attentiveness, looking from his feet to the figures with every step taken.
“I don’t think they’re going to attack. I think if they had intended to, they would’ve by now.” Lisa Ann starts to relax, but feels pent up stress swelling in her shoulders from the overflow of rampant anxiety. The Mad Doctor is now close enough that he can reach out and touch the Golem. Raising a sweaty hand, he lays his palm on the Greek Golem’s cold, rough, bulky shin, the rotation of heads jerk to a stop with loud CLANKS! CLANKS! CLANKS! The light changes to a single red that illuminates the Muse face of Anger. A whistling sound permeates the air like steam from a tea kettle as visible mist shoots from the top of their heads, the trio of three shakes with fury. The Golem standing forefront catches Andrew off guard, raising a massive foot to squash him from existence, he backpedals in the nick of time, avoiding the bone-crushing attack. The Mad Doctor staggers to keep his balance, and retreats behind Lisa Ann under the quaking momentum of the charging giants.
“Lisa Ann! Now would be a good time to do something!” The Golem to the farthest left sprints forth and throws a sloppy karate chop, looking to decapitate Lisa Ann like an executioner’s blade. Lisa Ann can see the stream of physical energy that manifests in the heavy swing, her desperation slows time to mere milliseconds. Lisa Ann bends over backward, then squats forward on both knees. The Golem towers over Lisa Ann and windmills a left fist with the intent of squashing her with ease. Lisa Ann throws her hands forward, closing both eyes tightly with the tingling feeling of here goes nothing.
The Mad Doctor hunches behind Lisa Ann, thinking, ‘I can’t die now. I am so close. Closer than I have ever been.’ The musty, stale air shifts and power builds as the gravity grows, dense and heavy. The sacred energy that manifests around her hands is unadulterated and absolute, she draws on the galactic power from Bethlehem’s Holy Star (Signifies The Conceivement Of Jesus Christ). The accruing pressure around her palm manifests into a large orb, with bits of dark debris in the middle that resemble bits of rose petals. Suddenly the spherical orb disperses like confetti then returns to Lisa Ann’s palm in the form of a tiny glowing ball, the build-up of amassed wind that circles the ball creates a loud whir that parodies the whine of a million crickets, then explodes forward into a beam of doom. The blowback of force flurries Lisa Ann’s foxy locks in mixed directions, her knees faintly hover from the ground and she skis backward plowing into the cowering Doctor. The Golem stops in mid-swing as the explosive burst not only repels the Guardian but the unbridled blast peels away layered stone with the ease of a hundred piercing arrows filleting a rapist’s skin. The loud scattering of rocks echoes throughout the bricked tomb, replicating the sound of sizzling bacon.
The Golem’s upper body is destroyed, leaving behind a single charred, torso that falls with a loud BBBRRNNGGG! Andrew peeks over Lisa Ann’s shoulder with inquired curiosity, he’s dazzled by the tenacity of her power; he stands with newfound poise. His dry mouth searches for words of expression but his brain can’t compute fast enough to describe the feeling of astonishment demonstrated by Lisa Ann’s Star Power. His dry lips split and bleed when he smiles, revealing canine incisors where his original teeth have fallen out long ago due to the power of dark corruption like Brendon Urie at the end of the Emperor’s New Clothes. Blinking rapidly, he re-earths himself, the Mad Doctor swipes his hand wildly like Nazi Dictator Adolf Hitler.
“Good!
Good! Lisa Ann, kill them! Kill them all!” Lisa Ann acknowledges the Mad Doctor’s command, wiping her bleeding face silently saying, “Is that all you’ve got?” Lisa Ann floats from her knees to her feet in a way that’s inhuman. Blitzing forward, Lisa Ann jams her hand toward the floor and releases a burst of Star power that launches her off the ground. She’s sent somersaulting over the duo of remaining Golems, upon landing atop of the staircase, she releases a harrowing blast that transitions, in contrast, going from ruby red to almost coal black. The rawness of Star Power shakes the entire island and the Golems struggle to turn around against the force of her dazzling Star Power. They awkwardly begin running into the star beam, attempting to reach Lisa Ann before they meet their untimely fates. The lights illuminating their faces slowly fizzle out, hardening in place by the overwhelming heat. The Mad Doctor yips and hollers with marvel, while everything begins fading to black. “What a specimen you are, Lisa Ann!” The Mad Doctor dances and twirls around, “I’m the winner! I’m the big winner you old hag! Who’s the failure now!” Andrew bends over and catches the wind he lost from his moment of excitement. He stands straight up then speaks. “Well then, I guess I better start hitting the Bowflex. Phew, Lisa Ann, be a dear and won’t you shine that radiant light toward the area where we fell, will you?”
Lisa Ann doesn’t say a word, only turns her head so it meets her shoulder. “You could have killed us…” The Mad Doctor treads carefully as he approaches from behind her, outstretching a spotted hand, he stammers over his words.
“Lisa Ann we-” Lisa Ann turns around with surprising speed, extending her right hand forward.
“Don’t touch me!” The Mad Doctor raises both hands toward the ceiling and gulps.
“If we are to make it out alive, we need to work together. But right now, we need to find my satchel. I have headlamps. Who knows what lies ahead? I don’t wanna be trapped wandering through this dark tomb. Do you?” Lisa Ann relaxes and lowers her hand.
“No more secrets, no more lies. I won’t kill you but I’ll make sure you can’t harm anyone else.” The Mad Doctor nods, for at that moment, he really believes what she has said.
“Yes, yes, of course.” Lisa Ann looks up and follows the beams of light that break through the cracks of freshly loosened stone shaken free from her vicious attacks.
“I can’t see, but this’ll help.” Lisa Ann rams her hand forward, trying to spark her Star Power. The Mad Doctor takes in his surroundings the best he can, eagerly awaiting the next phase of their journey. “Anytime now.” Lisa Ann tries again, then shakes her fingers like she’s air drying her hands after washing them under a bathroom sink.
“It’s not working for some reason,” the Mad Doctor sighs loudly. “UGHHH. Well, that’s fucking fucked. Suggestions?” Lisa Ann rubs her hands together, cusping them close to her lips attempting to generate heat, the old-fashioned way, I guess. Lisa Ann slowly drops to one knee before falling to the other, probing the cold bricked floor like she was a bullied teenager looking for her glasses in a dark hallway. The Mad Doctor rolls his eyes and walks with caution as he follows the trail of light, looking up at the ceiling, trying his best to pinpoint the location of their descent.
“Well, I think this is about where we fell, Lisa Ann, hold-” The Mad Doctor feels a faint shatter underneath his right shoe, he gently steps around the surrounding area without leaving the location of where he stood. Listening to the broken pieces, following the sound of breaking glass like a trail of breadcrumbs. “Lisa Ann, new idea, stay where you are. I think I got this.” The Mad Doctor follows the echo of crunching glass to where the satchel lays. He grabs the soft cotton then reaches inside, pulling out a Coleman headlamp. The Mad Doctor adjusts the strap before fixing it on his head, flipping the switch over. The Mad Doctor looks in Lisa Ann’s direction who still sits on hands and knees. The blinding light catches Lisa Ann off guard, she puts her right hand up to shield her eyes. The Mad Doctor smiles. “You look worse for the wear.” Lisa Ann lets a small smirk tug her lips.
“You should see yourself. So, Doctor Rush, about honesty, I need you to be honest with me right now, Doctor. When we fell, why didn’t you Phantom Phase?” The Mad Doctor walks to Lisa Ann bending forward, he offers his hand. Lisa Ann looks from his hand to his face, she clasps his hand in hers. With a joint effort, she’s uprooted from the dirty floor. Lisa Ann looks down at her scraped knees, noticing her skirt is all but in tatters, her blouse isn’t better for the wear. She tries to smooth over the gray which was once bright and elegant but now sits on her hips wrinkled and dirty. The Mad Doctor waits patiently.
“To be honest, Lisa Ann, I haven’t figured out how yet. But make no mistake, my allegiance to the Neu Empire and Hitler are unquestionable. My vows are irrefutably unbreakable. If you tell anyone of this, my devotion as a NAZI will be questioned, and we both know how that goes. So, will you keep my secret?” Lisa Ann nods.
“As friends, yeah. I will keep your secret. Can we please find a way out of here? This place gives me the creeps.” The Mad Doctor urges his head toward the corridor from which the Golems came.
“I think it’s safe to say that’s the way we should go. Grab my hand, we can’t afford to get separated. Not in this place.” The Mad Doctor doesn’t give Lisa Ann a chance to protest but snatching her hand, he starts dragging her toward the passageway as if she were his child. They cautiously enter through the wide corridor and look at both walls on either side of them, the bizarre illustrations embedded on the surface are symbols of a language, unlike anything the Mad Doctor has ever seen. Lisa Ann pulls away from the Mad Doctor’s grasp, touching the ciphered depictions that light up under the wisp of her fingers. The language itself to most people would look like an unintelligible array of contorted triangles, circles, lines, sun seals and commas.
“Don’t ask me how I know this but… For those who are ancient and true, reclaim the relic that rightfully belongs to you, for the bloodline of Christ will set you free.” Lisa Ann looks harder, translating the succession of language that follows, she interprets: “Engraved in this exterior is a story that tells the ending of the Great War. Here it says several leaders waged a war against the Devil God and his armies. They defeated him with the help of the world’s greatest marksman. The Magician emblazoned a sealing curse into the front of a bullet, says here it was the same sealing curse Michael placed on Lucifer, this enemy the leaders refer to goes by only one name, not even a name but a moniker: ThE pHaNtOm WiTh nO NaMe bUt MaNy. When the marksman used the single round to shoot out his right eye, they were able to separate his soul from his weakened body. Once exorcised out, he didn’t have the strength to fight back, his Devil’s Magic was greatly diminished because mortal vessels can’t handle the output of power. After he was exiled from his body, a magic prodigy by the name of Harry Houdini fixed the timeline back to the way it should have been or as much as he could. The prophets who wrote these inscriptions believe he used too much Mystic Magic and his body eroded from the inside, inevitably he died in the process.”
The Mad Doctor licks his lips at the new influx of information, his gnarly lazy eye swivels about, and he resembles an eager chameleon focusing on its next meal. Lisa Ann pauses, trying to see if she can decode anything else of the lost language. “Is that it?” Lisa Ann looks back to the Mad Doctor and nods.
“That’s it.” The Mad Doctor shakes in frustration and looks around the large tomb and bangs his head on the sandstone until a trickle of blood runs ablaze down his moist dirty forehead.
“No! No! No! So close!” The Mad Doctor snarls like a fiend then turn away. “At least we must continue, lead the way, Lisa Ann...” The Mad Doctor lags behind Lisa Ann, letting her lead the way until she stops at the edge of a stairway that climbs upward to a massive grey vault-like door with no handle. Running through the entire door is a series of warded inscriptions like the ones found inside the Cauldron with just a slight difference. In the center of the reinforced door is a perfectly placed hand impression molded for th
e rightful bloodline of Christ. The Mad Doctor turns his head toward Lisa Ann. “I think it’s for you? This could be what made all those Superiors go mad. If you’re not who I think you are, then this could be really bad, you could go insane.” Lisa Ann lets out a sigh of anxiety.
“Wish me luck then. So far all signs point to yes.” Lisa Ann leaves the Mad Doctor standing at the edge of the staircase, walking up the stairs step by step, trekking carefully until she’s confronted by the grey stone door. As Lisa Ann breathes in sharply, she begins to raise her right hand. The closer her hand draws towards the door’s surface, the more it seems to react, shooting prickly needles forward as if it were an organic substance. Lisa Ann winces, shutting her eyes, fighting against all instinct, she jams her hand into the molding. The organic stone encases her hand, pricking her skin like a hundred porcupine quills. Lisa Ann had thought this process would be painful, but alas, she finds it pure bliss and a montage of images flicker in her head, many of which involve Christ being ridiculed then crucified by hypokrites and liars.
