by Leah Martyn
‘Yep.’ Lindsey began bundling sheets. ‘There’s a new little member of the human race to prove it.’
She glanced up. Dan sounded tired and the eyes that lifted briefly to hers were guarded and shadowed. He’d spent the past few hours on an emotional roller-coaster. He must be feeling wrung out.
She made a quick decision. ‘Let’s leave all this for now,’ she insisted. ‘Dad usually has some decent Scotch around. Fancy a dram?’
‘Lead on.’ Dan’s agreement was heartfelt.
* * *
They were back in the kitchen again, sitting side by side at the breakfast bar. Lindsey had dimmed the lights and the big clock ticked on the wall.
‘You’re quiet,’ Lindsey said as they sat over their drinks. ‘You OK?’ Her eyes scanned his face, looking for clues.
‘I’ll do.’ He gave a trapped smile. Just, he added silently.
‘I’m sorry you had this emergency thrust on you tonight.’ Her voice was low, hardly there.
‘It was out of your control, Lindsey. Don’t stress about it.’ He lifted his glass and finished his drink in a couple of mouthfuls.
‘Another?’ Lindsey offered.
He shook his head. ‘I’m good, thanks.’
Lindsey had barely touched her drink. Where did they go from here? she fretted. Where? ‘Do you want to...talk?’
‘No...not really.’ He covered her hand with his. ‘Shower and bed, I think.’ His eyes locked with hers, dark in shadow, tender in their caress. ‘Come with me. I don’t want to sleep alone.’
* * *
They made love slowly and with great care for each other. The soft mingling of their sighs and murmurs sprinkled the silence until the fire of their passion reignited, driving them before it until there was no escape and they tumbled into a blinding oneness, wrapped in each other’s arms.
* * *
Lindsey woke to find the room suffused with morning light. At once snatches of their lovemaking flooded her mind and she reached out to touch Dan, but he wasn’t there. Her heart fell. Dragging a sheet off the bed, she wrapped herself in its folds and scooted along the hallway to her bedroom. Hastily, she pulled on track pants and a jumper and went to find him.
She headed for the back deck. She had a feeling he’d be there and he was, looking out over the fields, focusing on the clouds of early mist already pierced with gold from the first rays of the sun. He was still. Absorbed.
Almost as if he was looking at it for the first and last time.
‘Dan?’
He spun round. ‘Hey...’
‘Hey...’ she echoed. Her eyes widened and she frowned. He was dressed in dark trousers and a charcoal-grey business shirt, his hair still damp from the shower. ‘Have you been called in to work?’
* * *
‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘Let’s sit down. I need to talk to you.’
‘OK.’ For the first time she noticed his laptop open on the table. They each pulled out a chair and sat opposite each other.
‘I’m going to take off,’ Dan said bluntly.
‘Oh.’ Lindsey linked her hands on the table in front of her. He looked jaded, the fatigue lines around his eyes and mouth in sharp relief. ‘What’s going on?’ she asked, her voice catching in her throat.
‘I’m flying to Melbourne to see my family—well, my parents at least. I haven’t been home since I got back from the States.’
They breathed through a beat of silence.
‘You feel the need to be with them,’ Lindsey said with some perception.
He was silent for a long moment and then he let his breath out in a ragged sigh. ‘We haven’t really had an opportunity to talk properly since the twins... Their grief was as real as mine. They lost their first grandchildren. We need to connect, talk about the babies. Share the loss.’
Which he should have been able to do with Caroline. Oh, the unfairness of it all. Lindsey bit hard on her bottom lip. ‘Last night...the birth...’
‘It sharpened everything all over again. Stuff I’d thought I’d come to terms with—’ He stopped, his expression set hard as if anything else would weaken his resolve. ‘I’m hoping talking to my parents will give me a way forward. They’ll understand.’
Understand, as she’d been unable to. Was that what he meant? She pushed the thought away. ‘Would you like me to come with you? Not to your parents’ obviously—but just for support?’
He hesitated, as if thinking it through. ‘I need to do this on my own, Lindsey. But thanks.’
‘When are you going?’
‘Soon.’ He flicked a hand towards the laptop. ‘I’m booked on a flight to Sydney at ten. That’ll get me on a connecting flight to Melbourne pretty well straight away.’
And in his mind he was already there, the monumental intimacy they’d shared nothing but a pleasant memory. Lindsey got to her feet, her insides suddenly twisting with the sad truth. ‘I’ll make some coffee, then.’
‘Don’t on my account. I’m packed. I should get going.’
She shook her head. ‘Why didn’t you wake me so we could have had time to talk about this?’
His brows twitched into a frown. ‘I’m not following you.’
Damn right you’re not.
‘You’re just...disappearing.’
He looked taken aback. ‘With respect, Lindsey, what is there left to talk about?’
Lindsey flinched as though he’d slammed a door in her face. Suddenly the magic of their lovemaking seemed a figment of her imagination. The carefree, wonderful man she’d discovered had gone. The amazement of their connection all but broken. ‘You should get moving, then.’
* * *
Lindsey did a frenzied clean of the lounge room after he’d gone. Something in her heart scrunched tight and lodged there. He should have held me this morning while he told me he was leaving, she thought sadly. He should at least have done that. I would have understood. But he’d chosen to walk alone. Well, I don’t need you, Dan Rossi. She kicked the off switch on the vacuum cleaner with the toe of her shoe.
She’d go back to being her own person. Depend on no man for her happiness.
* * *
Dan’s thoughts were in turmoil as he travelled the thirty kilometres back to Hopeton. He couldn’t believe how badly he’d handled things with Lindsey.
He hadn’t slept. But that was no excuse for the stuff-up he’d left behind. He could turn round and go back. Sort it quickly. Take Lindsey with him to Melbourne. He glanced at his watch and the faint hope that had flared died. If he did that, he’d miss his flight. And he was pushed for time as it was. He had to be back tomorrow to begin a roster of night shifts.
His thoughts flew back to Lindsey and the way she’d made him feel plain glad to be alive, the way she’d made him laugh. He swore under his breath, disgusted at his lapse this morning. He should have been more caring. But right now talking with his parents had to be his priority. For his own sanity. And if that didn’t work, then he had nowhere left to go to feel whole again.
* * *
Lindsey spent the afternoon venting her anger and frustration on her clay. She moulded, spun pot after pot and then trashed the lot of them. A bad end to a bad day, she decided grimly, making her way up the stairs from her studio. As she came in from the deck, the home phone was ringing. Dan? Her heart spun out of rhythm and she hurried to answer it, her expectations crashing when the caller proved to be Caitlin Kelly.
‘Hey, Lins,’ she said. ‘I wasn’t sure you were still at Lark Hill.’
‘I’m taking a bit of leave.’ Lindsey perched on the corner of the desk. ‘How’re you, Cait?’
‘Bored.’ She gave a half-laugh. ‘Actually, I’m driving back to Sydney tomorrow. Wondered if you’d like a change of scene and come with me.’
‘To Sydney?’
‘Mmm. My apartment’s right on the beach at Bondi. It’ll be like old times. We could do some galleries for you, some clubs for me and shopping for both of us—are you in?’
Lindsey paused only infinitesimally. To heck with Dan Rossi and his machinations. She owed him nothing. ‘You bet I am. What time?’
‘Is six too early for you?’
‘Honey, I work shifts,’ Lindsey pointed out drily. ‘My body clock is in permanent disarray. I’ll be ready.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE FOLLOWING SUNDAY, Lindsey sat up in bed and blocked a yawn. Checking the time, she groaned. It was already well into the afternoon and she must have slept almost the entire day away. But she’d been late home last night, after flying from Sydney then picking up her newly repaired car in Hopeton.
She threw herself out of bed and showered, dressing in jeans and a dark green top. Gathering her hair up, she let it fall haphazardly around her shoulders.
She blocked another yawn on her way to the kitchen, filling the kettle and setting it to boil. That done, she went out onto the back deck.
So much for spring, she decided, leaning on the railings and looking across the landscape, seeing jigsaw pieces of darkening sky between the trees. Unless she was mistaken, those were storm clouds scudding across the mountaintops as if in a hurry to be elsewhere. But Lindsey knew about these kinds of storms. They came in fast and usually dropped their quota of rain and left just as quickly. She hoped it was one of those but even as she watched, the wind had begun whipping through the trees, swirling their foliage into a mad dance, while a streak of lightning snaked its way across the sky.
Lindsey felt a wave of unease. She’d better prepare in case there was a power cut later. She ticked off her to-do list—first locate the torches, make sure the batteries were viable. She’d just opened the cupboard where the lantern torches were kept when the front doorknocker sounded. Probably Fiona, she thought, come to check she was OK. She hurried along the hallway and opened the door.
‘Oh—’ Lindsey felt goose bumps break out all over her. Dan stood at the outer perimeter of the veranda, his hands jammed in his back pockets.
‘I’m not taking anything for granted,’ he said.
Lindsey’s fingers tightened on the doorknob. You’d better believe it, she vented silently. Swinging the door wide open, she stepped back and with a small inclination of her head she said, ‘Come in.’
For a second Dan’s blue gaze faltered. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Sure I want you to come in?’ Lindsey tilted her head in question. ‘Of course. Lark Hill welcomes all strangers.’
Dan felt if she had struck him. Was that what he was now? A stranger? Well, he’d asked for it. The lady wasn’t going to make it easy.
‘I was about to make tea,’ she said shortly. ‘Come through.’
Dan stepped inside, noticing the carrier bags on the hall table and spilling onto the floor. His eye caught some of the big-name fashion brands, none of which were available in Hopeton. ‘Been away?’ he asked.
‘Sydney, with Cait.’ Lindsey sent him a look over her shoulder.
‘Good trip?’
‘Magic. Cait threw a huge party. Met lots of new people. Just what I needed.’
‘Well, that’s what holidays are about,’ Dan felt compelled to say. But thought darkly that if she was sending a message that she’d moved on and that what they’d had was already history, then he’d got it.
‘Looks like a storm coming,’ Lindsey said, as she made the tea. ‘Are you staying long?’
‘Why?’ he shot back immediately. ‘Do you need to be somewhere?’
Lindsey looked taken aback. ‘No...’
Dan’s sigh was audible. Lifting his hands, he linked them behind his neck. ‘You’re still ticked off with me. And I understand that,’ he added in response to her elegantly raised eyebrows.
‘So at least you agree I have reason to be.’
‘I was in overload.’
‘And that’s your excuse?’ Lindsey snapped. ‘For the whole weekend we were on fire for each other and then...’ She palmed a hand and shook her head. ‘You left me feeling...’
‘I know...I wanted to turn round and come back but there wasn’t time.’
Lindsey felt herself softening. She proffered the mug of tea.
‘No tea, thanks.’ Dan shook his head. ‘I’ve been on nights. I’m in tea up to the gills.’
Lindsey swallowed. ‘Would you like something else, then?’
A tiny pulse flickered in Dan’s cheek. ‘Just to talk—is that possible?’
She nodded, unable to speak. Every nerve in her body began tightening. What he had to say now would probably make or break them. She flicked a hand towards the kitchen table and they sat facing each other.
‘I don’t want you to think I’m some kind of messed-up loser.’ Without warning his hand reached out and covered hers.
‘I would never think that.’ Lindsey stared down at the hand covering hers. She took a deep breath and let it go. ‘But you do get the prize for behaving with the sensitivity of a block of wood.’
His mouth pulled down. ‘Don’t hold back on my account.’
‘Dan, you all but dismissed me! That was pretty low after everything we’d been to each other.’
He tilted his head back and dragged in air. ‘You’re right,’ he conceded without rancour. ‘And I apologise. My only excuse is I wasn’t thinking straight.’ Abruptly, he pulled away, leaning back in his chair. ‘I would never have wanted to leave you feeling hurt and questioning that what we’d had had been anything but entirely special. And ours alone,’ he emphasised.
Lindsey took a shaky breath and asked the question that needed to be asked. ‘Did talking with your parents help, then?’
‘Their wisdom astounded me.’ His voice roughened. ‘I finally realised that I wouldn’t be dishonouring my babies if I let them go.’
‘Oh...’ Lindsey’s voice was a thread. ‘Oh, Dan...’
‘Yeah.’ His smile was slightly wry. ‘Took me a while to get there. But I have. I hadn’t grieved properly. Hadn’t said goodbye properly. It was as though there was a chunk of ice inside me that needed to thaw. And it was you who started the thaw, Lindsey. Only you.’
Lindsey’s eyes pricked. ‘I really just listened.’
‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘You did a lot more than that. You brought something fresh and wonderful to my life. And I realised I had to break out of the mental straitjacket I’d put myself in. That’s when I decided that talking to my parents might be the answer.’
Lindsey looked at him earnestly. ‘So, what now?’
‘For us?’ Dan swallowed hard. ‘I’d like it if I could hold you, if we could hold each other...’
He’d given her a look so warm Lindsey felt a quicksilver flip in her stomach. She swung up from her chair. ‘So why are you still sitting there, then?’
Their kiss started gently but in a second they were desperate for each other. Dan lifted her hair, exposing the side of her throat. Lindsey felt his breath warm against her skin and then came the slight rasp of his tongue.
‘Dan...’ She gusted his name on a shaken breath and sighed when his mouth felt its way to the corner of hers.
‘I’ve so missed you...’ Dan made a muted sound in his throat. It was like the growl of a lion, shuddering through his whole length. ‘Missed us.’
‘I’ve missed us too,’ she responded, shifting against him, her hands moving in a sweep under his T-shirt, taking him to her.
Where their kisses might have ended, they weren’t about to find out. A clap of thunder ricocheted through the house, sending them springing apart. Lindsey put her hand to her heart. ‘I don’t like the feel of this, Dan.’
‘Don’t panic,�
� he said. ‘A bit of thunder can’t hurt us.’
‘It’s not that,’ she countered. ‘Around this valley, it’s the wind. It can wreak havoc. The power lines can go down and knock out anything electrical. Is your mobile fully charged?’
He frowned. ‘Ah—think so.’
‘I’d better call Fiona.’ Lindsey took off down the hallway. ‘See who’s at the cabins.’ She was back in a few minutes. ‘Thank goodness, there are no guests. The last ones left this morning.’
‘One less thing to worry about, then. Do you have torches?’ Dan asked.
Lindsey nodded. ‘I was about to sort all that just before you arrived.’ She got the torches and set them on the kitchen bench, testing them one by one. ‘They seem OK.’ She looked at Dan. ‘When are you back on duty?’
‘Late shift tomorrow.’
‘So...’ She bit her lip. ‘You can stay tonight?’
He lifted his hand and stroked his knuckles down her cheek. ‘If you’ll have me...’
Lindsey pretended to think about it for a moment. ‘Oh, I think I probably could.’
‘Thank you.’ He pulled her into his shoulder for a lingering hug. ‘Now, what else do we have to do before the storm hits?’
‘Just make sure the windows are secure, I guess. I’m so glad you’re here, Dan.’ Another crack of thunder sent her snuggling in against him. ‘I think I’ll make us an early dinner while we still have power,’ Lindsey decided. ‘Quick frittata, OK?’
‘Fantastic. I’m starved. While you’re doing that, I’ll take a look outside. Might give us a clue if the storm is heading in our direction.’
Lindsey had no doubt it was. She went quickly about her task, sautéing onions, mushrooms and zucchini, fluffing eggs, and scattering fresh herbs and cheese across the top as she poured the mixture into the pan. In two seconds it was under the grill. She raised her eyes in question as Dan came back into the kitchen.
‘It’s really whipping up a frenzy out there,’ he said. ‘Actually feels a bit spooky.’
Lindsey punched him lightly on the arm. ‘Not scared, are you, Dr Rossi?’
