by Oliver Letz
After the long spell of mind-boggling and reality-bending ideas Taylor had been confronted with in the past few hours, it took him a few seconds to switch gears and open his mind to Lilly Ann’s special friend. The first page in the folder contained a simple pencil and water color drawing of a curious looking furry hamster, standing on his hind legs with a big smile and big eyes, waving at the onlooker. The caption read, “Hi! I’m Abrahamster. Come play with me. Let’s think silly together. I’m the star of many pages in this book.”
Looking back and forth between that page and Lilly Ann’s face, radiant from unbridled enthusiasm, he suddenly understood where she was coming from. This drawing and the message behind it revealed more about Lilly Ann’s spirit and personality than a lifetime of talking to her could ever have. She had shown him her greatest treasure, bared her soul and sat there beaming at him with the innocence of a child. If he hadn’t known it before, right then and there Taylor knew that he had fallen for her. In his eyes, at that moment, she was the most beautiful and wonderful woman in the world. He also knew in his heart what a personal challenge it would be for him to get up to speed with her energy and purity and, as much as he was surprised that the word popped into his mind, with her vibration.
Unable to say a word he lingered for a moment longer, looking at that first picture and with a tear filled sigh he turned the page. The second page showed a much more developed drawing of the same cartoon character. This time he was wearing a blue T-shirt with ‘17 SEC.’ printed on it and announced in big letters, “Nothing is more important than that I feel good!” No surprises there.
“So this little fellow put that tag line into your mind,” Taylor teased Lilly Ann, “Abrahamster, that wouldn’t have anything to do with our nonphysical friend Abraham, would it?” He winked at Edie May.
“The way I see it,” Lilly Ann explained eagerly, “Abrahamster is a very smart hamster who just wants to feel good. He has an inner hamster that guides him and he learned a whole lot from studying the Abraham books and recordings. Abrahamster knows everything about Law of Attraction and feeling good and guiding your thoughts and he tells us in his own way so the nonscientists among us can understand it too. Most of all he wants to have fun and be silly and play and bask in the good feeling moment and appreciate and he loves everything.”
Taylor was wondering if Lilly Ann would ever stop the sentence and breathe again.
“Look!” she continued after a deep breath frantically turning pages and searching for her favorite pictures, “Here he basks in his hammock until he is a bask-it case. And here he shows us to fork our thoughts in the good feeling direction so we don’t get stuck in Yuma and here he pats his cat until he is in alignment and here...”
“Whoa,” Taylor interrupted her, “What is alignment and why is basking and appreciating so important to him?”
“You see the thing is,” Lilly Ann was on a roll, “When Abrahamster wants something his inner hamster that is non-fizzical wants the same thing too and does everything in his power, and that is a lot, to bring it to him. But when Abrahamster feels bad about not having it already, his inner hamster cannot bring him the stuff cause Law of Attraction only brings him more of the not-having bad feeling reality things. When he feels good or appreciates or basks or loves he is in alignment with his inner hamster thinklings and Law of Attraction brings everything to him that he wants. Cool, huh?”
“I am not sure I follow you,” Taylor felt like a fish out of water.
“It’s called Emotional Guidance System,” Lilly Ann announced importantly, “The way you feel indicates how close what you think is to what you want. Your inner Geronimo knows what you want, even if you don’t really know it. He knows that, when you think something other than about the stuff that you want, you will not get it and you will get stuff that you don’t want instead. Because your inner Geronimo does not want that for you, he sends you yucky feeling emotion vibes, so that you know that something is not right and you can change it. Isn’t that great?”
Lilly Ann was searching her brain for an easier way to make her point. Her face lit up as she remembered the most basic truth she had come to believe from before she could remember. She lifted her index finger to signal that she had something really important and significant to say. She looked at Edie May and then at Taylor and said with unwavering conviction, “Good feels good, and bad feels bad.” She pointed at the appropriate hamster drawing.
She waited for a sign of comprehension from Taylor, “Get it?”
“I guess,” he answered somewhat skeptical, “but when I feel bad about something I can’t just switch and feel good about it. I would be lying to myself.”
“That’s right,” Lilly Ann conceded just for a second, “but you always can reach for a better feeling thought.”
She pulled another page out of the stack.
“Look here,” she pointed at Abrahamster balancing on the nose of a giraffe, “he is reaching for what feels better. You can’t jump from feeling all yucky about something to blissful sky-pie feelings. If you try you probably land in the bushes. But you can find something that feels a little better and stay there for a while and then find something that feels a little better and stay there for a while and soon you are in a not so bad feeling place and you can still find a thought that feels a little better. I guess you get the picture.”
“This sounds like a lot of work,” Taylor remarked.
“More work than flying hundreds of miles and walk two days and chase cows around for two weeks and fly back and ...”
“I think I get what you mean,” Taylor interrupted.
“And if you really cannot find any better feeling thought about some reality thing that really bites you, you can always think about something else, something pleasant that you remember or something that you want to have,” she added softly.
“Like what?” Taylor asked.
“Well, for example, when you feel bad about your legs and you can’t find anything good to think about that, you could just think about,” there was a dramatic pause, “Meeeeee.” Her thirty-two-tooth smile would have made every dentist blush.
“I guess I could do that,” Taylor laughed. For the first time in his life he was consciously aware of the change in his emotional state caused simply by focusing on a different subject. It was an interesting observation to say the least.
Taylor continued to look at the many pages and drawings in the folder. They sat there for half an hour and just looked at pictures and read the captions out loud.
One picture had Taylor look up and ask, “I have seen this somewhere before. All these figures stacked on top of each other. It looks like a Native American totem pole, just funnier. Don’t you have one down the street from your grandpa’s place?”
“That’s a Totemotional Pole,” Lilly Ann lectured, “they are all over the place. Remember the two guys who brought you here after your fall, Jack and Joe Jack? That’s what they do. They carve Totemotional Poles and put them up all around the valley.”
“What’s the significance of the Totemotional Pole?” Taylor had the impression that if he understood the Abrahamster story better, he might start to understand what was going on in the minds of people around here, most notably Lilly Ann’s.
“The Totemotional Pole is a symbol of the emotional scale,” Lilly Ann started to explain but looked a bit unsure, “Edie May, can you help me out, I haven’t been angry or something like that since I saw my cat eat a tweety bird when I was four.”
“I thought you were doing just fine, dear,” Edie May shrugged but she obliged, “As Lilly Ann explained very skillfully before, humans tend to stay on a certain emotional range in regard to any given issue that they are involved in. Very often they will maintain the same vibration for a long time since Law of Attraction brings to them events and manifestations that are in harmony with their vibrational state, so they start to believe that this is just the way it will always be. To help us guide ourselves out of unpleasant emotions a
nd correlating circumstances into a better feeling emotional state and a more desirable life experience Abraham taught us about the emotional scale.”
“Of course there is a great variety and variation in describing emotions so we have to simplify a little. On the one hand of the scale you have the good feeling vibrations like love, appreciation, bliss, joy or happiness and on the other end you have fear and depression. Another way to describe it would be the feeling of freedom and self-empowerment on one end, and bondage or powerlessness on the other. Do you follow so far, John?” Edie May asked.
Taylor just gave her a confirming nod, curious where this exercise was leading.
“For a deliberate creator, as we established before,” Edie May continued, “emotions are the guiding light to his desired outcome. If he feels good he knows his thoughts are moving him towards something that will feel good when he gets there, if he feels bad, not so much. If he finds himself in a situation that evokes strong negative feelings in him, he does not have immediate access to a really good feeling thought about that issue. If you are depressed about something and a friend comes by and tells you to cheer up otherwise you will create something unpleasant, you will most likely not be able to follow his advise and probably tell him to get lost.”
“Been there, done that,” Taylor agreed, “on both ends of it,” he added laughing.
“Good, so you know what this is all about,” Edie May moved on, “If you want to get from point A to point B it helps to have milestone markers along the way, otherwise you could get lost and end up right where you started. If you are riddled with depression or fear, you might want to get angry at someone or something or wish revenge on someone else. That feels better, at least now you can breath. When you have stabilized yourself in anger you might find the softer thought of blame or even worry or doubt. Once you feel secure there you might reach for a thought of frustration or pessimism. Then the road to contentment or even hopefulness isn’t very far. Once you feel hopeful it can be a swift ride to positive expectation, enthusiasm and even joy. Remember, all of this is work done in your thoughts. No action required or allowed yet. Once you vibrate where it feels good any action you take will be an inspired one and lead you to whatever result you want.”
“I think I understand,” Taylor nodded, “So what about the poles?”
“Oh, just look at the picture,” Lilly Ann jumped right in, “See, here on the bottom Abrahamster is depressed and doesn’t wanna live like that anymore. They all look so cute I could eat them up. The next one up is really angry, you don’t want to mess with him right now. This one is just frustrated and then he is hopeful and then he stands on his head because he thinks he can do everything. All the way up he just wants to relax and go with the flow and not struggle against anything, he knows that life is supposed to be fun and ease. He looks so happy, don’t you think?”
“It is a wonderful symbol of the most powerful tool we have to be successful as deliberate creators,” Edie May added, “We call it moving up the emotional guidance scale.”
“Who did all these drawings?” Taylor asked while turning to another page, “I saw a signature L. F. on many of them. Is that for Lilly Ann F.?”
“I did many of the drawings,” Lilly Ann confirmed, “but they are not really mine. I copied most of them out of the Lilly-Book. L. F. stands for Lilly Fluger. She is the one who gave birth to Abrahamster and all his friends many, many years ago.”
“Lilly Fluger was an avid student of Abraham and even met them on a few occasions,” Edie May explained, “She was also a master teacher in her own right with the ability to capture the essence of Abraham’s teachings in drawings and cartoons. Many people find it easier and definitely a lot more fun to hone their thought working skills by studying Lilly Fluger’s cartoons than to read or listen to Abraham sessions.”
“I don’t care about the grownup problem this and problem that sermons of Abraham. I’ve heard them all. That is so boring, but I love to look at Abrahamster and his friends all day long and I turned out just fine, right?” Lilly Ann looked at both of them for confirmation.
“Look, this is AbraRam,” she pointed out another character on one of the pages, “He is Abrahamster’s best friend and he is always on a rampage of appreciation. ‘I love grass. I love the hills. I love ewes.’ And on and on he goes. ‘Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate?’ I really learned a lot from him. I get all fuzzy and warm good feelings when I go on a rampage of appreciation myself. It feels so good, sometimes I don’t even want to stop ever anymore at all.”
Taylor was getting really curious now.
“Lilly Fluger as in Flugerton, I assume?” he tried to put one and one together, “You said Abraham taught at the end of the twentieth century, that makes these documents more than three hundred years old. How did you find them? And why?”
“Who cares,” Lilly Ann said, “Edie May can show you the Lilly-Book one day, then you can see for yourself. Now let’s play something fun.”
“What do you want to play, dear?” Edie May knew the tone of voice she had just heard from Lilly Ann. She might not have found the most polite way to go about it but she had something in mind that demanded a change of pace from all of them.
“I think Abrahamster can help John fix his legs so he can run and jump and dance with us,” Lilly Ann dropped a bomb on them.
“If there is a game for that,” Taylor was still a bit skeptical, “then I would play it as long as it takes to work. What’s the name of that game?”
“It is called ‘Wouldn’t it be nice if Abrahamster had fixed John’s legs yesterday game’,” Lilly Ann made it up as they went along.
“That is a very long title for a game,” Edie May teased.
“There is nothing I can do about that,” Lilly Ann stated, “That’s what it’s called.”
“How do we play?” Taylor enjoyed being the center of Lilly Ann’s creative fireworks.
“We take turns to say, ‘If Abrahamster had fixed John’s legs yesterday, right now we would...’ and then we think up something fun we would do today if Abrahamster had fixed your legs yesterday. We can invite other people to play too if we run out of ideas. It is a very long game,” she added importantly.
“That does sound like a fun game,” Taylor said, “although I don’t really see how it could heal my legs. I’ll be still here with my legs not working.”
“But that is exactly the point,” Lilly Ann explained excitedly, “We will be here playing with you and you will try to focus on the fun things we all dream up and in no time you will not even remember that there once was something wrong with your legs.”
“What a wonderful idea, Lilly Ann,” Edie May agreed, “It is no wonder that your games are famous all over the valley. I’m curious already who gets a whiff of it first and stops by to join in.”
“Let’s start,” Lilly Ann shouted, “I go first.”
“If Abrahamster had fixed John’s legs yesterday,” she started reciting the words as if it was a prayer, as in some sense it probably was, “right now we would sit at the banks of the river on that big log that fell over last summer and reaches half way across, remember? We would try to stretch out legs so our toes get all sprayed with water. And we would stare to see the trout standing behind the rocks. We’d take off our shoes and socks and roll up our pant legs. And every time one of the bigger waves splashed all over our feet and calves we’d squeal like little piglets because the water is still so cold from the melting snow. That’s what we would do right now if Abrahamster had fixed John’s legs yesterday.”
Lilly Ann was glowing from the excitement of the adventure in her head.
“Wow, that was fun,” she exclaimed, “My feet are getting cold,” she laughed and rubbed her toes, “your turn Edie May.”
“If Abrahamster had fixed John’s legs yesterday,” Edie May was aware of the delicate balance in these words and followed Lilly Ann’s instructions to a t, “right now we would hike up into the woods and look
for the tallest oak trees with the most beautiful mistletoe at the top of their crowns. We would take off our shoes and socks, and start climbing those holy trees with our bare feet. We’d feel for places to hook in with our fingers and toes to pull ourselves up from branch to branch until we are so high up in the crown that we cannot even see the ground anymore and if we’d just stretch our necks a little further we can pop our heads out into the sky and enjoy an enchanted view over the entire valley. We would carefully cut some of the mistletoe for decorating the tavern tonight to everyone’s delight. That’s what we would do right now if Abrahamster had fixed John’s legs yesterday.”
“Yes, yes, wonderful,” Lilly Ann praised Edie May’s effort, “I can feel the sticky resin on my feet and they are all red and hot from the scratchy bark, can you feel it too John?”
What was he supposed to say at the display of such unadulterated joy and affection? As much as the thought of his condition pained him, he was not going to ruin this game for her.
“I do remember how that felt,” he did the best he could with a smile.
A visitor announced himself with a gentle rap at the door and dissolved the awkward moment.
“If that isn’t a bunch of people sitting around, playing a fun game and not having the courtesy to invite old Grandpa,” Fritz Neuwirt complained laughingly, “I brought sandwiches and apple cider. That is, if you let me join the game of course. What are we playing?”
He pulled a rocking chair next to the bed while Lilly Ann explained her game invention.
“Ah, Abrahamster,” he said with his best grandpa-tells-bedtime-stories voice, “the little fella has all kinds of tricks up his sleeve. Can I go next?”
Taylor started to feel a little under siege with all the attention he was getting and the activity that filled his room with life. On the other hand, the entire lack of doubt in the effectiveness and sensibility of making up stories to effect the bodily condition of another intrigued him. He couldn’t help but to get curious where all of this would lead them.
“All right, here I go,” Fritz announced to get everyone’s attention, “If Abrahamster had fixed John’s legs yesterday, right now we would put on our lederhosen, you know the old deer leather pants I brought from Austria, and we would dance Schuachplattler. We would ask Hannah to bring her accordion and play the wildest and funniest sounding alpine traditionals. I would try to remember the words to some of them and teach you to sing with me. Then we’d line up in a circle and I’d show you how we danced in the old country. We’d jump in the air and slap our thighs with our hands and we’d jump in the air again and yelp and yodel and we’d jump in the air again and we’d slap the bottom of our feet with our hands. And on and on we’d go. This makes great rhythmic noises and let’s everyone in the valley know, that we were having fun. That’s what we would do right now if Abrahamster had fixed John’s legs yesterday.”
You could see that the old man was exhausted but glowing with energy just from cooking up these wonderful pictures in his mind. While he was telling the story the front door had opened and closed a few times and more visitors had poured into the small room. Everyone clapped and cheered when Fritz had finished his story.
“That was so neat, Papa,” Lilly Ann was over the moon, “I could just hear the claps and yells and the music. My hands and feet are pulsing hot from the slaps and wild dancing.”
Soon it was standing room only and some of the people who had just arrived yelled over the crowd to partake.
“If Abrahamster had fixed John’s legs yesterday, right now we would have a race against the goats up the steep hill in the East Valley. I’d bet that the goats would be faster. That’s what we would do right now if Abrahamster had fixed John’s legs yesterday.” Everybody laughed and now the jokesters got brave enough to have their say.
“If Abrahamster had fixed Geronimo’s legs yesterday, tonight we would lift him up on our shoulders and see if he can climb up to Lilly Ann’s bedroom window. That’s what we would do tonight if Abrahamster had fixed Geronimo’s legs yesterday.”
Taylor looked at Lilly Ann but she just laughed and did not avert her eyes. Embarrassment is a foreign planet to a pure soul.
“If Abrahamster had fixed Geronimo’s legs yesterday,” the words came slowly and deliberately from a three-year-old girl who had squeezed herself past the older visitors. She stood in front of the bed with her arms propped up on her sides, “Right now I would climb up on his knees and ask him to sing with me a horsie riding song. And when we were finished I’d give him a big kiss. That’s what we would do right now if Abrahamster had fixed Geronimo’s legs yesterday.” She blew a noisy wet kiss on Taylor’s cheek, threw her arms up in the air, giggled wildly and galloped out of the room.
The room was quiet for a moment. Everyone knew, when the children come, miracles start to happen. Lilly Ann secretly wiped away a tear from her eyes. She was besides herself with joy that her intuition had led her in a direction that her mind would never have thought of.
“Thank you, Leila,” she whispered without anyone else taking notice.
No one but Taylor, that is. He had many hours before stopped worrying about his legs. He was swept away by the unconditional support that the community poured over him. So many wanted to have a turn in the game. Food and drink of all sorts was appearing out of nowhere in front of him. Everybody seemed to have the time of their lives, and all on his behalf. Each person started and ended their contribution with the magical phrases that Lilly Ann had composed.
It was getting late and Lilly Ann was signaling that it was time to call it a day and maybe continue another time. People stood up from the floor and from chairs and started to shuffle out of the room.
“Wait,” said Taylor, “if Abrahamster had fixed my legs yesterday, right now I would run and dance and climb and play with all of you and I’d be the happiest man in the world, and I would not even know that I would have missed the most magical day I ever had the pleasure and joy of living. Now I wouldn’t mind if Abrahamster would help fix my legs yesterday from tomorrow. Thank you so much.”
“Thank you for being such a good sport,” one of the visitors replied, “this was the most unusual fun we had in a long time.”
The little house grew quiet. Even Fritz and Edie May had said their goodnight with the promise to be back the next day.
“I am going to bed too, are you going to be all right?” Lilly Ann asked through the door on her way upstairs to her bedroom.
“I’ll be o.k.,” said Taylor, “thank you for everything, and give Leila my thanks too, please.”
“Will do,” Lilly Ann chirped and left the room.
A few hours later that night a scream of pain and surprise shattered the silence of the dark village. A shorter one followed the first long scream, not quite as pain filled but even more surprised at the sensation. What followed was laughter, uncontrollable laughter and yelps of joy and groans of pain.
The lights came on upstairs in Lilly Ann’s house as they did in many houses nearby. Lilly Ann rushed down the stairs to find Taylor sitting up in his bed rubbing his legs and feet frantically.
“I can feel them,” he yelled, “I can feel the sensations that your stories had put in my head all at once. It hurts. It’s wonderful. I can feel them.” He couldn’t get the words out fast enough.
“First I thought it was just a bad dream, but then I opened my eyes and I saw your cat, Mr. Big, lick my toes and I was feeling it. It hurt and it was like fire and like ice in the next moment. I can feel my feet,” he yelled again.
Lilly Ann sat on the side of the bed and pulled Taylor’s feet into her lap. She put her hands firmly on them.
“John, listen to me,” she said emphatically, “focus on my hands. These feelings are real. Release all the other sensations that rush through your mind. Just feel my hands. Can you feel them?”
“I can feel them,” he answered a bit surprised, “they are warm and soft.” Tears were streaming down his face, “T
hank you so much,” he whispered.
“No need to thank me,” she replied quietly. “You are one of us now. Welcome to Flugerton.”
Two houses down the street Kim Wong climbed out of his bed and stepped up to the bedroom window to see what the racket was all about.
“What is going on out there?” he asked more to himself than anyone else.
His wife’s sleepy voice came from their bed, “John has got his legs back, that’s gotta hurt for a while. Come back to bed now and close the window.”
There was not the slightest hint of surprise in her voice.
Chapter 10: Edie, Keeper of the Lilly-Book
