by Oliver Letz
“Wait here,” Lilly Ann said to Taylor once they had slowly walked a short way down the hallway, “I’ll grab something for lunch from the kitchen. I’ll be right back.”
Taylor did as he was told and leaned against the wall for support. The activity around him was electrifying. Students of literally all ages were buzzing in and out of various doors, sometimes by themselves, sometimes in small groups heatedly discussing their favorite subjects. He was most intrigued by the youngest attendants of the learning institution. Some of the girls and boys could not have been more than four or five years of age and they still roamed the hallway on their own accord and pace. He never heard a bell calling the students to their classes nor was he able to distinguish teachers from students most of the time. If this was indeed a school it was of a very different format to what he remembered of his days as a youngster.
Lilly Ann was back after a short while cheerfully dangling a paper bag in front of his face.
“Let’s have a picnic!” She exclaimed and led Taylor to a door opposite from the one through which they had entered the building earlier.
Lilly Ann and Taylor walked out onto a meandering gravel path that led them through a magical garden of colorful flowerbeds and artistically pruned shrubs with lush green patches of grass in-between. Young people writing in journals or reading books sat on wooden benches, chairs and recliners and a group of girls was intently occupied with replanting one of the beds with exotic seedlings, carefully logging the progress they made in blue fabric-bound file folders.
As they reached the far end of the clearing the path disappeared into a lightly wooded area of oak and maple trees. Rays of sunlight broke through the green canopy above, painting lively patterns onto last year’s leaves between the trees.
A short distance into the woods a new sound mixed into the whisper of the wind, the singing of the birds and buzzing of flying insects. They were obviously approaching a river that noisily made its way down the valley. In front of them appeared an archway that was cut into a dense wall of hazel shrubs that still bore a few catkins. They stepped through the man made opening and were greeted by the breathtaking sight of a narrow but fast moving river. Water was rushing between boulders and rocks spiking white fountains high into the air. In the calm waters below the big rocks they could see large rainbow trout stand in the clear cold water waiting for prey.
A young man of maybe sixteen years of age quietly stood at the edge of the river bank skillfully casting a fishing line across the stream from a long flexible rod. The bait at the end of the line resembled one of the flying insects they had observed while walking through the woods. He whipped the rod back and forth a few times keeping the light line airborne while steadily extending its reach. After three or four repetitions he let the bait soar across the water with a fluid motion of his wrist. It landed on the water just a few feet upstream from a big beautiful fish, which immediately turned towards the supposed fly. Trout are smart though, big trout are old and old trout are even smarter. This time the fish smelled the deceit and let the bait swim by untouched. When the hunter becomes the hunted a game of wit and skill ensues that brings about the opportunity to learn and grow for everyone involved.
“Is fishing part of the curriculum here?” Taylor asked Lilly Ann jokingly pointing in the direction of the young man.
“Oh, you mean Louis,” she replied, “He picked up a fishing rod a few weeks after his first visit to Sudbury. He has been fishing ever since.”
Taylor looked at her in disbelieve. “You mean all he ever does is fish? He does not attend any classes? How is he supposed to learn other basic things?”
Lilly Ann thought about it for a moment. She had that look on her face that said, ‘How do I say this so even a man from Mars could understand?’ It was an interesting and eye opening exercise to have to explain the how and why and what of the only way of life she knew to a man with a very different worldview. She learned a lot about herself in these days.
“Out here he learns everything he needs to learn at any given time,” she started, “Louis knows everything there is to know about this river and the fish inhabiting it. He knows about the insects they eat, about their mating habits, about seasons and the changes in the water. He can predict the weather just by looking at the waves. He read everything that was transcribed from the Lilly-Book about fish and fishing. I think he is doing extraordinary well.”
“But what about other things?” Taylor was not yet satisfied with Lilly Ann’s reasoning, “What about literature and math and history and geography? Don’t you think that everybody should have at least a basic understanding about these topics?”
“Maybe,” Lilly Ann replied vaguely, “but for the students here there are no required studies or subjects. For every question there will be an answer but if there is no desire to learn there will be no desire to teach. It is very simple really.”
“And this works?” Taylor blurted out.
“I would think so,” Lilly Ann replied thoughtfully, “our immediate ancestors have been living in this place for almost ten generations practicing these principles. They had to carve out a way to survive and prosper in an unfamiliar environment, cut off from the rest of the world. Look around, I would say it works wonderfully, wouldn’t you?”
Taylor smiled and nodded his head.
“You are right,” he said, “I have to remember that just because an idea collides with my believes doesn’t mean it’s wrong, especially in this place,” he added with a wink.
A short distance downstream Taylor recognized the fallen tree that Lilly Ann had described so vividly in her first game story a few days earlier. It was as magnificent and inviting as he had imagined it.
“Is this your tree?” he asked, “Let’s have our picnic there.”
“Good idea,” Lilly Ann agreed.
Climbing over small rocks and gravel on the river’s banks was challenging for Taylor’s newly recovered balance and foot control. Without being conscious of it, every carefully placed step brought back a treasure of muscle memory to his revitalized limbs. His movements grew steadier and more fluid with every inch of the way. Lilly Ann watched him with great satisfaction, only occasionally offering a helping hand.
The mighty tree, split in half by lightning and toppled over by the merciless storms bathed its branches in the frigid stream. With its flat side facing the sky it provided a wide and safe platform reaching half way across the water. Busy hands had carved out footholds at its end to allow easy access to the curious visitor. Five small steps rewarded the climber with a spectacular view over the river and the rocky shore on the other side.
“You wanna go first to pull me up or follow me to push?” Taylor joked.
“I’ll go first,” Lilly Ann decided, “that way, if you loose your grip and fall you won’t land on me.” She stuck out her tongue and ran up the tree trunk in three swift strides.
“Thanks for your concern and your confidence in me,” Taylor continued the teasing, “I’ll remember that.”
He stepped up to the tree and grabbed one of the unearthed roots next to the stairs. He cautiously placed his right foot into the first step and pulled himself up in one powerful motion. He did the same with the other steps and in no time he triumphantly joined Lilly Ann at the top. Throwing his arms up into the air he yelled his infamous battle scream loud enough to spook every trout in the river for weeks, “Geronimo!”
Lilly Ann danced around him singing and laughing, “You did it, I knew it, you did it.”
They walked a few yards down the tree trunk to where the water rushed beneath their platform. Sitting down on the bare wood Lilly Ann opened the paper bag, which she had slung over her shoulder for their walk.
“One jar of lemonade for John, and one jar of lemonade for Lilly Ann,” she divided her bounty, “one ham and cheese sandwich for John and one ham and cheese sandwich for Lilly Ann,” she continued.
It was obvious how much she enjoyed to share her abundance with Ta
ylor and how much she wanted to allow him an insight into her life by showing him her favorite places. Taylor popped open his lemonade filled mason jar.
“Mmm, this is good,” he said after the first sip, “I wouldn’t have thought that one could grow lemons up here in the mountains.”
“You can do a lot of things if you really want to and allow the ideas to flow that make it happen,” Lilly Ann said between bites from her sandwich.
They sat there quietly for a few minutes munching on their lunch and staring across the water.
“That river,” Taylor broke the silence, “it gets me thinking. What was that again with putting a boat in the river and going with the flow? That woman from the Lilly-Book had a certain aura about herself as if she knew what she was talking about, but she sure lost me after the first few words.”
“Tell me about it,” Lilly Ann agreed, “I have seen a lot of these recordings and most of the problems that people are complaining about seem so foreign to me that I can’t even imagine how I could get myself into these situations. On the other hand, if you want something you don’t have or if you experience something that you don’t like it doesn’t matter what it is, the principle to make it right is always the same. It’s simple.”
“Really,” Taylor frowned, “care to run that by me again?”
“See, the river,” Lilly Ann thought out loud, “is like the energy that you summon when you want something. Remember, Law of Attraction always brings you what you focus on? So let’s say Abrahamster wants a new T-shirt that reads, ‘Abe likes John!’ because he has found a brand new friend. His wish makes the energy flow to get him the T-shirt. But sometimes Abrahamster puts his boat into the stream that would get him to his new shirt but all he can think about is that he does not have his new shirt and that he really wants it because he likes John so much and his old T-shirt is already faded and torn in a few places and he doesn’t know where to get a new shirt and he doesn’t really have any hamster-bucks to trade for the shirt and who knows, maybe no one ever made a shirt like the one he wants. With every one of these thoughts he is paddling upstream against the current and he doesn’t get anywhere close to his new shirt. Know what I mean?”
She looked at John waiting for a sign of understanding.
“I understand what you are saying, but I am not sure where we are headed. Please go on,” he asked.
“Well, you know that Abrahamster is a very smart hamster and he knows about Law of Attraction and at some point, maybe when his arms are getting a bit sore form paddling he remembers that the stream will take him to whatever he wants and he pulls the ores into the boat and allows himself to be swept away to his new T-shirt. It’s all about wanting something to get the stream going and then going with the flow to allow it into your experience.”
“Nothing that you want is upstream, huh?” Taylor mused.
“Exactly,” Lilly Ann said eagerly, “upstream is the stuff that made you want something new in the first place. If you could go upstream, which you can’t because the stream gets stronger the harder you paddle against it, you would only find more of what you do not want. As long as you try to explain why you want to get away from the place you are standing in, or justify why you deserve something you want, you just stay where you are and get tired and sore and old and then you die and everybody else gets all the great stuff you have conjured up in your mind. I am sure Abrahamster really loves his new T-shirt.”
Lilly Ann pulled out a small piece of paper from her back pocket and handed it to Taylor. Sure enough, the little cartoon fellow smiled his biggest hamster smile while sporting a brand spanking new blue T-shirt that read in big white letters, “Abe likes John!”
Taylor’s eyes lit up with a smile. “I don’t believe it,” he said, “when did you do this?”
“Oh, last night, before I went back to sleep,” Lilly Ann replied, “Do you like it?”
“I love it,” he said enthusiastically, “you are a strange cookie, did you know this?”
“Speaking of cookies,” Lilly Ann was unimpressed, “I almost forgot that we have a few cookies left in the bag for desert. Want some?”
“Sure, thank you,” Taylor stuck his hand out for the sweet treat, “how come, when all of this going with the flow business is so easy, why isn’t everyone doing it to get whatever they want? There’s gotta be a catch somewhere.”
“You are right, there is,” Lilly Ann replied while chewing on her cookie, “because Law of Attraction is bringing you more of what you think about, you always see more stuff that shows you where you stand and not where you want to go.” She bit off another hearty chunk to gather her thoughts.
“See, Abrahamster has an uncle, his name is Whillie.”
“Like your brother’s name?” Taylor interrupted.
“Yes, kinda, but this one is spelled with an H after the W,” she explained, “Whillie is a smart, strong hamster who was always good to his family and worked hard every day to make a good living. In his little hamster mind, though, he dreams of the really good life in a big cavern, running free all day long, playing with his kids and his wife and his friends and never having to think about earning a living anymore. But all he can see before him is the hamster wheel that he is on which he has to turn to stay afloat. So he runs and runs day in and day out on his wheel and all he can see is the next step that his little feet can reach. And the next step is coming right after that one and he hurries so he doesn’t miss a step and the more he hurries the faster the steps come rushing on and he gets the feeling that he can never get ahead.”
Lilly Ann was exhausted just holding that picture in her mind.
“Abrahamster tries to talk to his uncle Whillie and explains about Law of Attraction, that he would just have to stop worrying about the next step on the wheel for a moment and turn his head so he could see what else is out there and get some new thoughts into his mind. He might be able to jump off the wheel altogether and find the life that he had been secretly wishing for all along. But you know it is hard to hear something that you did not ask for yourself, when the reality in front of your eyes is telling you a different story. There is much to think about just by looking around you and observing where you stand and there is much to regret and bemoan when your past has not been much to your liking and there is much to worry and fret about when you see your future just as an extension of your past and your now. And so Whillie takes another spin on the hamster wheel chalking up Abrahamster’s well-intended suggestions as youthful idealism that has nothing to do with the life of an old hamster who has to provide for a big family. Maybe some of what Abrahamster has said to uncle Whillie got stuck in Whillie’s mind and will make him curious about other ways to go about his life. Maybe one day he will look around and focus on a different thought than whatever is in front of his eyes and then Law of Attraction will help him by providing stuff that match the new thoughts he was offering. I am sure that it will be a very happy day in Whillie’s life when he recognizes that he can do something about changing his life just by deliberately focusing his thoughts.”
“Hm,” Taylor was not yet completely comfortable with this train of thought, “something about that Law of Attraction business doesn’t seem right to me.” He was hunting for the right words, “Why would Law of Attraction not just bring us what we really want and everyone would live happily ever after? It seems to be a great waste of time and energy to bring us the wrong stuff all the time.”
“That’s exactly what uncle Whillie said when Abrahamster told him about LOA for the first time. The thing is, LOA as the name suggests is a Law of the universe. It is something like the older brother of the Law of Gravity. Gravity does not make a difference between a raindrop that falls from the sky to water the plants on the ground and a man that falls from the sky which makes a big mess and almost kills him,” she smiled at Taylor with raised eyebrows, “Law of Attraction works the same way. It does not decide what is good for us or what is not good, it does not know what we want or what we d
o not want. It only knows where our attention is at any given moment and it matches the vibration of the thoughts we are focused on with more of that.”
Taylor looked out over the river deep in thought.
“If I want something that I don’t have right now,” he contemplated, “and I feel bad because I don’t have it, it is only because of the way I think about it?”
“Yep,” was Lilly Ann’s short answer.
“And if I find a way to think about what I want and not about not having it, it makes me feel better because then I am going with the flow?”
“Yep,” Lilly Ann eagerly awaited Taylor’s next thought.
“And if I do that, I get whatever I want?”
“Yep.”
“This sounds simple enough,” he concluded.
“Told you,” Lilly Ann beamed.
“But not easy,” he cautioned.
“No one ever said that,” she shrugged.
“Right,” he frowned, “so what is all of this good for? It seems a lot of effort just to remember what we should know to begin with?”
“I think the reason is ‘more’,” Lilly Ann said cryptically.
“More of what?” came the prompt question.
“More of everything,” for her it was clear as day, “we look into the world and decide what we want more of. Then we relax into that idea and let the river carry us to that, and on and on it goes. Every time we have more we see the world from a new place and then we decide what else we want more of. I guess that’s what we are here for.” After a short pause she added, “And of course not to forget the fun we can have along the way, that’s what I am here for.”
Taylor’s mind was racing, trying to match up his vast life experience with the new ideas he had been confronted with over the past few days and weeks. Much of it made sense and it felt good. Much of it made sense but it did not feel good at all. He realized how hard he had been paddling upstream and bucking the current on so many subjects and how badly the stream had beaten him up at times. The thought that all of this had been caused by his own thinking was almost too much to bear.
“You can only put your boat into the river where you stand right now,” Lilly Ann tried to soothe the obvious tumult that was playing out on Taylor’s face, “that’s enough, because it’s all you’ve got, so it has to be enough. You are doing so exceptionally well, you can allow yourself to relax a little.”
Taylor’s hesitant nods and the wry smile on his lips made clear that it would take a while longer for him to sort through the conflicting thoughts and emotions that raged in his mind. The tornado of new ideas had laid waste to life long believes and certainties and the chasm it has hewn into Taylor’s worldview would have to be filled with new viewpoints and conclusions. The door to a new world of thought had been blasted wide open and now he found himself on the other side searching for a new place to hang his hat.
Taylor’s gaze wandered up the riverbank to where Louis was still casting his line and flying his bait across the river. He stood there, one with the flow of the river and one with the flow of his life. He didn’t seem to mind the time that had passed since any of the fish showed interest for his lures. He cast his line, watched it drift down the stream to where he expected the fish to wait and reeled the line back in when the fly swam past its target untouched. He straightened out the artificial insect that was tied to the end of his line and again the skillful arm drove the line through the air and onto the water. He just stood there to fish like he had done for hours and days and years all the while learning about life and the flow and desire that wants to be allowed.
“There is a lot you can learn from a river, right?” Taylor stated more than he asked.
“Everything,” Lilly Ann agreed, “one can learn everything there is to know about life while standing at a river to fish.” After a little pause she added, “Or while drawing a little cartoon, or while repairing a car engine, or while flying an airplane, or…”
“I get the picture,” he interrupted her raising his arms in mocked defiance.
Lilly Ann got on her feet signaling that this picnic had run its course.
“You have three choices how to get down from this tree,” she had that devilish tone in her voice again, “you can climb, jump or fall. What’s it gonna be?”
“If these are my options,” Taylor played along laughing, “I’ll first try to climb, then jump and if both don’t work, I guess I’ll fall. You go first so you can catch me if everything else fails, will ya?”
“No way,” Lilly Ann shrieked and ran to the beached end of the tree trunk and jumped off into the soft sand laughing hysterically.
Taylor joined her laughter and slowly followed her at a pace more consistent with the current state of his body.
Chapter 12: Just Ask Lilly
