Will the Real Abi Sanders Please Stand Up?

by Sara Hantz

  To a party for an eighteen year old? I don’t think so. “I’m not sure,” I say instead. “They don’t go out much because filming starts so early in the morning. But I can ask.”

  “And, there’s Tilly,” adds Liv. “I know you said she can be really nasty sometimes, but if she would come, that would make my party the most sought after place to be, and I wouldn’t invite any of the popular people. That would be so funny. Let them know what it’s like to be on the outside for a change.”

  Tilly at Liv’s party. That’s so insane it’s not even worth thinking about. Not that she’d ever consider going. I’d stake my life on it.

  “Leave it to me. Let’s go and find Matt.”

  We bump into him on our way to the field.

  “There wasn’t anyone there,” Matt says, looking despondent.

  “Sorry. They’ve probably put everything away for the night. Do you want to check out wardrobe and make-up? And then we can go to craft services and see if there’s anyone around.”

  “Okay,” Liv says.

  She definitely doesn’t seem as excited as when we met. I guess the tour is a bit of a letdown. When filming isn’t going on, there’s not a lot happening.

  We walk in silence toward the trailers when in the distance I see Jon standing on his own.

  “There’s Jon. Do you want to meet him?” I ask Liv and then instantly regret it, in case she accidentally says something to him she shouldn’t. Then I get annoyed with myself for thinking that. She’s hardly going to tell Jon how I feel. Just as long as she doesn’t tell Matt, though.

  “Sure.”

  We walk over to him, and the closer we get, the faster my heart races, until we’re actually in front of him, and I can hardly process my thoughts.

  “Hi, Jon. These are my friends, Liv and Matt.”

  Jon shakes hands with Matt and takes Liv’s hand and kisses it. How cute is that?

  “So has the lovely Abi been showing you around the set?”

  A shiver runs down my spine listening to him calling me lovely.

  “Yes. It’s awesome,” Liv replies.

  “Here’s Tilly,” I say seeing Tilly making her way to where we’re standing.

  I feel Liv’s body tense next to me. It’s exciting for her to finally meet Tilly, whatever I’ve been saying about her.

  “Hi Tilly,” I say as she gets close to us.

  “Let’s get out of here,” she says to Jon, totally ignoring me.

  “Abi just said hello,” he responds.

  “Hello,” Tilly says, casting a quick glance in my direction before turning back to Jon. “I could murder a vodka-martini. Several in fact. After the day I’ve had, I intend to get wasted.” She turns and leaves, with Jon following.

  My eyes are fixed on their retreating backs. Well, on Jon’s really. I love how he wasn’t going to let her ignore me. I like him more and more every time I see him.

  “Damn. I was just about to ask them about my party,” Liv says, acting like we didn’t just get blown off by Tilly.

  “I don’t think it was the right time. Sorry about the way she acted,” I say, dragging my thoughts from Jon.

  “Well, it’s not easy being in the limelight all the time. I feel sorry for her,” Liv says.

  “Hmm. You wouldn’t if you had her getting on your case most of the time,” I say.

  “So quit,” Matt says.

  Liv and I both stare at him. What is this boy on? Why would he suggest that?

  “Why would she do that?” Liv asks, echoing my thoughts.

  “Yes, why?” I add.

  “If it’s as bad as you say, what’s the point in doing it anymore? And they’re so fake. Especially that Jon.” He shrugs.

  “I didn’t say it was bad, just that sometimes Tilly can be difficult to work with. Anyway, I’m not with her all the time. And Jon’s definitely not fake.” He wouldn’t think that about Jon if he got to know him better. And more importantly, if I left, I wouldn’t see Jon any more. That more than makes up for how Tilly treats me.

  “If you say so,” says Matt. “And what about how she pokes fun at the way you speak? Is that okay?” His eyes lock with mine. I shouldn’t have told him she did that, because he’ll never let it go. “Because I don’t think it is,” he adds, his voice softer and a look of concern on his face. He’s so sweet, always looks out for me. But in this case, he doesn’t need to be so worried.

  I bow my head. “Of course it’s not, and she doesn’t do it all the time. Anyway, no way will I quit. It’s the best job ever.”

  Chapter Ten

  “Anyone seen Tilly?” Zac yells.

  She’s picked a fine time to go AWOL. Zac’s in one hell of a mood this morning, because yesterday’s rushes were a disaster. I’m not sure why. All I know is it’s enough to set us back even more. As long as I finish filming before college starts, that’s the main thing. I don’t like my chances if I have to tell Mom I’m going to be missing classes.

  “Abi, go and see if Tilly’s in make-up or wardrobe,” Zac says. “If she is, tell her to get her butt down here pronto so we can re-shoot the love scene. If she isn’t, phone the hotel and see if she’s there.”

  That’s great. Why me? He has his own assistant. Not that she’s around either, for some reason. Maybe it’s a conspiracy.

  “Okay,” I reply, but Zac doesn’t seem to be listening as he’s already walking towards the other side of the set.

  “While we’re waiting, Nathan,” I hear Zac say. “Let’s do a quick run through of the scene where you’re preparing for the fight on the Tamaki plain.”

  I half walk and half run in the direction of make-up. Please let her be there. I don’t want to phone the hotel. I hate calling strange places in case I get my words all mixed up.

  “Abi.” Jon strides toward me, and I get a fluttery feeling in my stomach. My heart goes into double-flip mode. I wonder if this will always happen every time I see him.

  “Hey,” I say, trying to sound casual. “I didn’t know you were back.” He’s only been gone for a few days, but it’s seemed like forever.

  “Just I thought I’d surprise Tilly as she’s not expecting me until tomorrow. I popped into the hotel, but she’s not there.” Yay! At least that saves me a phone call.

  “Zac sent me to look for her. I guess she must be in make-up or wardrobe if she’s not there. He wants her on set right away. We’ve got to re-shoot some of yesterday’s scenes.”

  “I’ll walk with you.” He turns and we start to walk, fairly slowly, which is worrying seeing as Zac’s waiting. Then again, the chance to be alone with Jon isn’t something that happens often. And Zac won’t know what I’m doing. “So, tell me how it’s going? Is Tilly behaving herself?” I stop in my tracks and look at him. His eyes fix on mine, and my knees wobble. “It’s okay,” he says. “I know she can be a handful. We’ve worked together before. But she doesn’t mean it; she’s quite insecure underneath it all. I guess you already know that.”

  Um…no. That part of her nature must have passed me by. Even if he isn’t the first person to mention it.

  “Sure. Things are good. We’re behind on the schedule, but nobody, apart from Zac, seems upset.”

  “Movies always run over. Don’t worry—it means you get paid more, so that’s got to be a plus.”

  “Definitely. I’m saving up to go to Europe next summer.” He doesn’t need to know that our trip is more a dream than a reality.

  “Europe,” he says, giving a low whistle.

  “Yes, with my friend Liv.” I shrug, like it’s no big deal.

  “You should come to L.A. I could show you around.”

  Is he serious? That would be like…like…

  “Thanks. But I’ll have to talk to Liv about it. We’ve sort of already planned on Europe.”

  I’m sure Liv would think L.A. is as exciting as London. She’d love it, checking out all the celebrity houses. Wandering down Rodeo Drive. It would be awesome.

  “When you decide, let me know.
How about you check make-up, and I check wardrobe? One of us will find her, doing whatever she shouldn’t be, knowing Tilly. We’ll meet back here.”

  My heart plummets once I realize we’re here. I’d really love to keep on talking to him.

  “Okay.”

  I push open the door and look around. It’s empty. Suddenly, I hear a strange muffled sound coming from the back of the room. “Hello,” I call. “Tilly, is that you?” I don’t know what made me think it’s her. A gut feeling, I guess.

  There’s no answer, but when I get to the closet door, I can definitely hear something going on. I knock gently, but nobody answers. So I slowly turn the handle. God knows what I’m going to find. I’d like to run in the opposite direction, but I don’t want to feel the full force of Zac’s temper, which I will if Tilly’s in here and I don’t speak to her.

  I push open the door very gently and see Tilly’s profile as she’s locking lips with…

  Dean. Tilly’s PR guy’s assistant.

  It’s ridiculous that I’m standing here watching Dean and Tilly all over each other, while Jon is outside looking for her. How could Tilly do this to Jon? Anyone could have found them. Even Jon. And by the looks of things, they clearly haven’t even realized I’m standing here.

  Talk about stepping into a situation I do not want to be in.

  What am I supposed to do now?

  I cough. “Tilly.” She doesn’t reply, just waves a dismissive hand in my direction and carries on kissing Dean.

  My fists are balled by my side. I could swing at her. I really could.

  “Tilly,” I repeat, trying to sound firm.

  She pulls away from Dean and glares at me. “What?”

  “Zac wants you on set to film the love scene again. The rushes from yesterday are no good. He wants you there now.” I narrow my eyes to try and accentuate how important it is.

  “Whatever,” she growls. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

  Without replying, I turn and walk away, back to where I left Jon, and notice him coming in the opposite direction.

  “Did you find her?” Jon asks.

  What the hell am I supposed to say? That Tilly’s only a few yards away, hooking up with some guy? If I do tell him, what’s he gonna do? Punch Dean? Storm off and leave the set? Break down and need me to comfort him? Okay, so the last one is in my dreams.

  If I don’t tell him, will Tilly say that I saw her? Then he’ll know I lied to him. But I can say I didn’t want him to get hurt.

  I clench my teeth in frustration. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place. “No. I-I-I take it you d-d-didn’t either?”

  Jon averts his eyes, a typical reaction. Damn my stutter. I hope he doesn’t suspect me of lying. Especially as I usually don’t stutter in front of him now.

  “So where is she?” Jon frowns.

  All I want to do is shout in his ear, In wardrobe cheating on you, that’s where. But of course I don’t.

  “Maybe she went for a walk by the river,” I suggest, anxious to get him away from here in case Tilly emerges with Dean. Although that would solve the problem. It would also upset Jon, and the fallout could totally ruin today’s shoot.

  “Okay, let’s go there,” Jon says.

  “If you think Zac won’t mind,” I say, suddenly remembering him, as I’ve been off set for quite a while now. Though hopefully he won’t mind since he was the one who asked me to find her. If it takes longer than it should, it’s not my fault.

  “If he does, he’ll get over it. Come on, live a little. Tilly will appear in her own good time. She usually does.” His lips turn up in a lazy smile, and my insides go all squidgy. My knees feel like they’re about to give way. “Anyway, while we’re on our way, I want to ask you a favor.”

  He holds out his hand. But before taking it, I quickly scan where we are to make sure no one can see. Realizing it’s all clear, I put my hand in his. His palm is smooth and soft. Warm but not sweaty. Perfect like the rest of him. My heart is thumping so loudly against my ribcage that it will be a miracle if Jon doesn’t hear it.

  “Sure. What is it?” I ask, imagining all sorts of things that I’ve dreamed of him asking, but knowing it’s gonna be something like collect his cleaning or something equally boring.

  “I’ve got an audition coming up and wondered if you could teach me some fighting skills? You make it look so easy.”

  I wasn’t expecting that. Teaching him how to fight. A gift. Something I could do in my sleep, and do it well. Then he’ll see me confident and in control. And completely stutter-free. I can’t wait.

  “Yeah, of course. Just let me know where and when,” I say trying to sound cool about it, but inside my stomach is doing somersaults, I’m so excited at the thought of it.

  Spending time alone with Jon. What more could I ask for? I guess some people, probably Matt, would say I’m behaving no better than Tilly, but that’s not true. It’s not like we’re hooking up. I’m doing him a favor, because I have the skills, and he doesn’t.

  …

  “Come on Abi, spill,” says Vince when we’re sitting outside together on one of the wooden benches overlooking the hills, eating our lunch.

  “Spill what?” I ask, frowning. Surely he doesn’t mean about me teaching Jon, because how on earth would he know about it? Then again, if he knew about it, he wouldn’t be asking me to spill. So I still don’t get it.

  “Don’t act all Miss Innocent with me. Ever since you came back from your Tilly hunt earlier, it’s been like working with a zombie. You’ve barely said two words to me. To any of us.”

  Oh. And I thought I’d managed to act normally. It’s just that I can’t stop thinking about everything. And I can’t tell Vince about me and Jon. Not that I’ve agreed to teach him or that we held hands and walked to the river. Or that I pretended not to find Tilly.

  “I don’t want to say.” I inwardly slap myself on the head. Why didn’t I just say there was nothing wrong? Because now he knows something’s up.

  “What’d she say?”

  “Who?”

  “Tilly. This has to be about something she said to you. How any times do I have to tell you to ignore it? She’s always the same; she’ll pick on the person she believes is the weakest. It’s what bullies do.”

  How does he know all this stuff? You know I’d love it if I could get him and Liv together. They’d get along so well. Maybe I can do something about it at the party.

  “If I tell you, you have to promise not to say anything to anyone.” Could I sound any more like a third-grader? “When I was looking for Tilly, I found her in wardrobe with Dean.” That’s all I’m saying. I won’t mention spending time with Jon at all.

  “Yeah, we know all about them.”

  “Well, I didn’t,” I snap.

  “Whoa,” Vince says, holding both hands up. “It’s no big deal. Tilly’s always hooking up with someone. Anyway, why did it affect you like that?”

  “Because Jon was around, and I didn’t want him to see.”

  Vince rests his arm on mine. “You’re too nice, that’s your trouble. What happens between Jon and Tilly is their business. You can’t worry about him seeing her with Dean. That’s for her to deal with and not for you to get upset over.”

  “Yeah, I guess.” But all the same, I don’t believe him. Jon deserves much better than that.

  Chapter Eleven

  “There you are,” Matt says, walking toward me. “I’ve been waiting forever. I thought you said to pick you up at five.

  I swallow hard. Crap. Make that double crap. I totally forgot to text him.

  “I’m so sorry. I agreed to give Jon some basic fighting training for his next movie audition. I’ve been meaning to text you all day, but it’s just been so crazy here. I’m really sorry.”

  “I can wait.” He shrugs. “I’ll come and watch.”

  Noooooooo. I don’t want Jon and Matt to be together. It’s just not right.

  “It’s fine. Jon doesn’t want anyone to know
I’m teaching him. I’ll get a ride home with someone else. Or call a cab. I’m really sorry.”

  A sad expression crosses Matt’s face, and a pang of guilt shoots through me. I feel like I’m bailing on him, but I agreed to help Jon. And I want to. Matt will get over it. Our friendship’s too strong for him to hold it against me.

  “Okay. See ya.” Matt turns and leaves.

  I watch for a moment, and then walk to the bathroom to check myself out before I go to meet Jon.

  He’s waiting for me by the river just like we arranged. He thought it was sufficiently out of the way to make sure the others don’t see us. I’m not sure why he wants to keep it secret, unless he’s worried I’ll be breaking my contract, but it’s not like we’re going to fight. I’m just going to give him some tips.

  “Hey, look at you,” Jon says walking toward me. “Had a good day?” He rests his arm across my shoulders and gives a gentle squeeze. My nerve endings tingle, and butterflies whizz around my stomach. I try to remind myself that actors like to touch everyone, but somehow this seems different.

  “Yeah.”

  “Come on then, show me what to do. I don’t have to fight hard, just look like I know what I’m doing.”

  He drops his arm, and I take a step forward and turn to face him.

  “Okay. First of all you need to stand like this.” I move my legs until they’re about three feet apart and then bend my knees doing several gentle bounces.

  Jon copies. “Like this?” he asks.

  “Perfect. If you maintain this stance all the time, it will make it easy for you to move quickly. See?” I dart in front, to the side and then to the back all the time coming back to the same place and keeping my knees bent and my body relaxed. “You try.”

  Jon tries it, but he’s not a natural. Each move seems forced. He doesn’t have the fluidity that Matt does, and I make him practice it for several more minutes before deciding that it’s time to move on.

  “Okay. That’s good. The next thing you have to do is always keep your guard.” I bring my hands up and tuck in my elbows. “You try.” Jon bring up his hands, but his elbows stick out, so I go over to him and take hold of his arms and position them correctly. I allow myself a moment to enjoy his closeness, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. “Now you can block any punches.” I step away from him. “Drop your elbows to deflect a body shot. And this,” I lift up my elbows and reach my hand over to touch my ear, “to block a head shot.”