by Carl Weber
My father’s fading footsteps eased my fear a little bit, allowing me to take a breath and gently push Terrance off of me. He got up without saying a word, looking like he was still in shock. His high-yellow skin was now pasty and his face was drenched in sweat that hadn’t been there during our lovemaking.
“You okay, baby?” I pulled up my skirt as I waited for his response. He didn’t answer so I walked over and placed my hand on his back. “You okay?”
“I can’t believe we just did this. What is wrong with me?” He buckled his pants and walked away, bending over to pick up the stuff he’d knocked to the floor.
“I know. That was close. We could’ve been caught by my father.” I tried to sound lighthearted.
Terrance turned to me and glared. “You just don’t get it, do you? This is not about your father. This is about me. How can I call myself a man of God if I’m fornicating in the church?” You see, Terrance was the youth minister and assistant pastor for our church. That was one of the reasons he’d insisted we keep our relationship a secret.
“Come on, Terrance, we were just being spontaneous. That’s what people in love do. God understands that. Granted, maybe we shouldn’t have done it in the church, but we didn’t get caught. Nobody knows.”
“You don’t understand, Donna. We shouldn’t be doing this at all. And you’re wrong. Somebody does know.” He glanced at the crucifix hanging on his wall. “God knows, and I don’t know if I can live with that.” He actually looked upset.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying maybe this was a sign God doesn’t want us to be together.”
“Well, if that’s the case, I’m not interested in what God has to say. I wanna know what you have to say. I thought you said you love me.”
“I do love you, but this is not the way a minister conducts himself.”
“Then let’s tell my father. Let’s tell him how we feel about each other, how much we love each other. He’ll understand. We can get married.”
He raised his eyebrows, looking shocked, but he gave a response that I’m sure he thought would keep me happy until he returned. “Let me think about it, okay?”
“What is there to think about, Terrance? We have to tell him sooner or later. I’m not going to sneak around for the rest of my life like some of these old maids around the church, so I much prefer sooner.”
He avoided answering my question and got ready to leave. “We’ll talk about it when I get back, Donna. Look, I gotta go. I have to catch a plane.” He picked up a large suitcase. “Can you straighten this place out for me?”
“Yeah, I’ll clean up,” I told him as he hurried toward the door. “But I want you to know something.”
“What is it?” He stopped and turned to me, doing a poor job of concealing an exasperated look.
“I’m getting tired of you running out of town every other weekend. Saturday used to be our day. Now, if you’re not going to talk to my father about cutting back your schedule, then I will.”
Terrance’s face hardened for a second, then a soft look eased onto it. “Donna, I won’t have to do it too much longer. I only have two more conferences and a wedding to attend in South Carolina, then I’ll be around every weekend, okay?”
“All right,” I answered, feeling slightly better that things would change soon. An idea came to me. “How about you take me with you to the wedding? I’ll tell my parents I’m going to see a friend in the Hamptons.”
“I can’t,” he said. “There will be people there who know your father.” He ignored my pout as he said, “Look, let me go before your father comes back knocking on this door again.”
I was disappointed, but I didn’t want my father back any more than he did. “Fine.” I sighed. “Do you want me to pick you up from the airport?”
He hesitated for a moment before he nodded and said, “Yeah, sure, that would be nice. I’ll call you and let you know what time my flight gets in.” He put his hand on the doorknob then gave me a sad smile. “I love you, Donna. Always remember that.”
19
Tanisha
Things were looking up for me and my brother. Once the home evaluation was completed by the Department of Social Services, Aubrey came back home. I was relieved to have him out of foster care, and determined to keep him out. I even quit my job at the club just in case some caseworker decided that my place of employment was a good enough reason to send him away again.
I had learned my lesson. From now on I would be even more careful to do whatever it took to protect Aubrey, but I was still furious with my mother for everything he had already been through. I decided that I wouldn’t visit her or contact her while she was at Rikers Island. It was time for me to let her know that I wasn’t always going to forgive her. Dante tried to convince me not to cut her off, but I had had enough. I did let him talk me into attending his father’s church one Sunday, though. Maybe he thought I would feel the spirit and open my heart to my mother again. I didn’t hold out much hope for that, but he’d been so helpful in getting Aubrey out of foster care, I didn’t want to disappoint him by refusing to attend. So I got Aubrey dressed in his nicest clothes and we headed to the church.
When Aubrey and I showed up at the church, we were a good twenty-five minutes late. I was tempted to not even go in, but I had promised Dante I’d be there as long as he didn’t embarrass me by trying to introduce me to his friends and family. Anyhow, the church was so huge it looked like a cathedral. That first night I was there, I was so confused about Dante I hadn’t paid any attention to how big this place was. There were so many cars in the parking lot it looked like one of those used car superstore lots. I was starting to think that maybe Jesus really was in there, not in spirit but in the flesh.
We entered the church and an usher directed us upstairs and handed us a nicely designed program. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been to church, but they sure didn’t have a glossy, full-color program like this. I took Aubrey by the hand and we tiptoed up to the balcony, where it seemed like thousands of people were seated. A few of them smiled at us. I wondered if I’d ever become a frequent visitor to this church if Dante and I worked out. The thought brought a smile to my face. The girls in the club sure wouldn’t believe that.
I looked around for Dante but didn’t see him. Peering down at the congregation, I looked into the pulpit. The choir sat in the back. To the right sat an attractive woman who I recognized as Dante’s mother from a picture he’d shown me. I could tell by the way she carried herself that she was a woman of class and wasn’t to be played with. I was going to have to tread lightly around her. A tall, gray-bearded man who I assumed was Dante’s father sat next to her. They looked like an African king and queen. When he stood up, the entire congregation became quiet.
Dante’s father began his sermon, announcing the scripture he would be preaching about. Because I saw the members do it, I picked up the Bible in front of me. It was placed on the back of the pew before our row. I decided to try to follow along. To tell the truth, holding a Bible in my hands was a strange feeling. We didn’t even own one in our house. I’m not big into scripture and church, but Dante’s father sure knew how to preach. He had everyone in the building, including me, rocking and clapping and screaming “Amen!”
I was having a good time and I think Aubrey was too, until I was distracted by a woman in a green hat staring at me. I couldn’t see her face; every time I looked in her direction, she’d turn away. Finally I ignored her and turned my attention back to the bishop’s sermon.
After a while I decided to find the restroom. I took Aubrey with me.
“You go in the men’s restroom then wait outside for me,” I told him as I walked into the women’s room.
When I walked into the restroom, I drew in my breath. It was so pretty, decorated in a soft peach and green wallpaper. The furniture in the lounge area looked better than the furniture in my apartment. I just wanted to sit in those chairs for a minute. But before I could put my purse dow
n, without warning, the solid oak door opened and the woman in the green hat came flying in.
“I thought that was you,” she said, snatching her hat from her head. Her eyes looked wild and her teeth were bared like an animal’s. She glanced quickly into the lavatory, and when she was sure no one else was around, she actually got in my face. “I’m not gonna tell you this but once, you little ignorant heifer. Stay away from my man.”
“Excuse me? Do I know you?” I was trying to be cool and act like she was a stranger to me, but I knew exactly who she was—she was Dante’s ex, the woman with the one-armed husband, and if she didn’t get out my face, she was going to lose one of her arms.
“You know who I am,” she hissed. “We met a while back at Bingo.”
“Oh, yeah, now I remember you,” I said in an exaggerated tone while striking a pose, “but I don’t want your man. It takes two hands to handle a woman like me, and your husband only has one.”
I know I was wrong but I just felt like it was the right thing to say. I could see the frustration in her face. “I’m talking about Dante.”
“Dante?” I laughed sarcastically. “He’s not your man. A woman your age couldn’t handle a young stud like him.”
“Hmmph, I’ll have you know I handle it quite well. Much better than you, I’m sure.”
“Oh, yeah, then why does he find his way to my house every night?” I taunted this desperate woman.
She looked like she was going to burst as she put her finger in my face. “Stay away from him. I’m not going to tell you again.”
“Look, Dante don’t want you. And if you don’t get your finger out my face, I’m gonna break it off.” I was trying to stay calm since I was in the church, but she wasn’t making it easy, especially when she got personal.
“You’re nothing but a loose skank ho, and Dante is too good for you.”
I bit my lip because I could feel my temper rising. “First of all, who you callin’ a ho? And secondly, it takes one to know one, bee-itch.”
“Aw, no, you didn’t call me no bitch.” She stepped closer to me, her hands clenched into tight fists.
“Oh yes I did, and if you don’t get out my face, I’m gonna whoop your ass.”
“You ain’t gonna do nothing.” She took a swing at me and I ducked, coming back at her with an open palm that knocked her ass to the floor. If there was one thing I could do, it was fight. I had to, with people talking about my mother all the time and with me working in the clubs. I hadn’t meant to come to church and do this, but she really gave me no choice. I was about to finish what I started when another woman rushed in just in the nick of time. She was a big sister, and I was afraid that she might be the other woman’s friend. I glanced over at the sink for my bag. I was gonna need my blade to take both these bitches down.
“What’s going on in here, Anita?” the tall sister demanded. She glanced down at Anita then at me.
“This crazy bitch attacked me, Donna. Call the police. I wanna press charges.” Oh, Lord, that was all I needed. Dante would never forgive me if I’d gotten arrested in his father’s church.
“Oh, please, Anita,” the tall sister snapped. “Ain’t nobody callin’ the police. You know you started this shit. I watched you follow her in here.”
“Donna, I was just trying to protect your brother. Do you want him messing with a slut like this?”
“No, you didn’t just call her a slut when you trying to mess with my brother and got a husband. Only thing you was trying to protect was your own interest.” She laughed. “You must be Dante’s new girlfriend.” She extended her hand to me. “Hi, I’m Donna. Dante’s sister. He thought something like this might happen so he asked me to keep an eye on Anita. He’s downstairs doing collections. He told me to tell you to meet him at his car after the service.”
Her friendliness melted some of my hostility. I shook her hand. “Hi. Tanisha.”
Donna turned to the Bingo lady. “Anita, you know the bishop ain’t gon’ have all this carrying on in his church. Now, Dante’s made his choice, so I suggest you get on out of here before I tell your husband on you.”
Anita looked from Donna to me, then threw her nose in the air and stalked out of the restroom, but not before she told me, “This ain’t over.”
After my near fistfight with Anita, Donna came and sat with me and Aubrey for the rest of the service. As quickly as I had almost risen to violence, I calmed down. I had grown up in a violent environment, and no matter how I tried to hide it, it came as second nature to me.
Meanwhile, Donna pointed out Dante below on the first floor. My eyes beelined to where he stood passing the collection plate. He was working with the ushers. That boy was too foine. He knew he was wearing that suit. No wonder that old hag wanted to fight over him.
After church let out, Donna led me to Dante’s car. He was surrounded by a group of young teens, but he smiled as soon as he saw me and broke away from the crowd. “So you and Aubrey came?” he said as if that wasn’t an obvious fact.
“A promise is a promise.”
“I like a woman who keeps her word. How about us going to Coney Island for the afternoon? Then maybe we’ll shoot over to my house and you can meet my parents.”
“Coney Island sounds nice, but I told you before. I don’t do parents.”
He ignored me and turned to my brother. “What do you think, Aubrey? You wanna go to Coney Island?”
“Yeah,” Aubrey cheered.
Later, I was so glad we went. I had never seen Aubrey laugh so much in his twelve years. For the first time, he looked like a child instead of a worried old man in a child’s body.
We stuffed ourselves with hot dogs covered in chili with onions, cotton candy, and popcorn. We rode on the rides together and screamed and hollered in joy on the roller coaster. Dante even won me a large teddy bear on one of the toss games.
Most of all, I enjoyed how Dante seemed so patient with Aubrey. I’d never seen my little brother open up like this with any of my other men friends. It had been a long while since I’d had a friend, too, because of that fact. After the last one, I had said I’d stop bringing my men around Aubrey. He was so hungry for male attention, so whenever I’d break up with a man, Aubrey would be depressed. See, he had never known his father, and the truth of it is, I don’t think my mother knew who his biological father was either. She was really hanging out there when she got pregnant with Aubrey.
“Dante, can we go down by the boardwalk?” Aubrey asked. He’d only been there a few times in his life, when his school took him on field trips.
“Sure, Aubrey. Let’s go. Race you.”
As I watched the two of them race toward the ocean, I looked at their shadows and a strange feeling came over me. What if we could have a life together? I guessed the only way to find out was to meet his parents.
20
Dante
After weeks of prodding, I’d finally convinced Tanisha to come to our house for Sunday dinner, only now that we were pulling into my driveway, I was having serious reservations. To be honest, I’d been having second thoughts since the moment I picked her up and saw what she was wearing. Don’t get me wrong, she looked good. Damn good. I would have been proud to have her on my arm if we were going to a club or a party, but to meet my parents she looked totally inappropriate. To start with, her scarlet dress was way too short, not to mention too tight. She wasn’t leaving anything to the imagination with that bad boy. I tried to be open minded. I mean hell, lots of people wear short skirts on Sundays, but already I could imagine her dress filtering through my mother’s eyes and I cringed inwardly.
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that her dress was inappropriate and would not pass my mother’s litmus test. Tanisha was already looking for an excuse to back out of meeting my parents, and I didn’t want to give her any reasons. Hopefully she’d make up for her dress’s shortcomings with her personality.
“You live here?” she asked in amazement as we stepped out of my truck and headed hand i
n hand up the walkway.
“Yeah, why? Is something wrong?” I looked around playfully.
“Nah, but your people must be rich. Your garage is bigger than my whole apartment.”
I squeezed her hand. “As my father would say, the Lord has been good to us.”
“I’ll say.”
When I opened the door, we were immediately greeted by Donna, who offered her hand to Tanisha.
“Hey, Tanisha.” She smiled, glancing momentarily down at Tanisha’s outfit then at me. There was no doubt in my mind that she was thinking the same thing I thought when I saw the outfit: Trouble! Tanisha, who was clueless to my sister’s and my silent communication, smiled back at Donna. It was obvious she was relieved to see a familiar face. “Look, girl, Dante is my mother’s favorite, so don’t take nothin’ personal that goes on tonight ’cause she be trippin’.”
Tanisha looked nervous. “I’ll try not to.”
“Where’s the first lady and the bishop?” I asked.
“They’re in the dining room, setting the table.”
“They alone or is Reverend Reynolds with them?”
“He’s out of town.”
I drew a deep breath and asked, “Well, sweetheart, you ready to meet my parents?”
“Not really, but I’m here, so let’s do it.”
We walked through the living room and into the dining room, where we found the bishop and the first lady sitting at the table in their Sunday attire. Of course, the bishop smiled the second he saw Tanisha. My mother, on the other hand, stared at her, stone faced.
“Ma, Bishop, this is Tanisha. Tanisha, these are my parents, Bishop T.K. Wilson and my mother, First Lady Charlene Wilson.”
“Nice to meet you, Bishop Wilson, and you, First Lady Wilson.”
“Just call me Bishop,” my father replied, offering his hand. Tanisha shook it then reached out to my mother, who ignored her. She didn’t even speak to Tanisha, which was her blatant message of disapproval. She merely eyed her up and down then, acting miffed, threw her nose in the air.
