If my parents lived in one place instead of on the road traveling all the time, I know I would, without a doubt, be living with them again and my dad would have already sent Brian on his way a long time ago. But my parents don’t need to be hindered because of my mistakes. They’ve worked all of their lives and deserve to enjoy their retirement. They are living their dream.
I make the call to the phone company and have Brian’s number turned off. The operator explains to me I’m still responsible for the line until the end of the contract even though the number is deactivated, but I tell them I’m perfectly fine with it. Anything to get some peace and quiet and a good night’s sleep. Within a half hour, my phone has stopped ringing and the texts have subsided as well from both numbers. I assume Rebecca must have made the phone call about her phone too. I go to the bedroom and crawl into bed. Eventually, I’ve got to fall asleep.
I remember looking over to the neon glow of the time being 1:47 a.m. I roll on my side, grip the extra pillow tight, and before long, I’m sound asleep.
I feel bad for not making it home early any this week and stopping by to check on Jennifer. She assured me she would let me know if there was anything she needed, but I also know she has a lot of pride and doesn’t like to ask for anything unless she absolutely has to. She knows I’m just about finished with school and everything is leading up to the final test I take to pass the state boards so even if she did need something, I seriously don’t think she would ask. Still, I should have at least made time for a quick visit. It’s bound to be lonely for her.
I noticed, when I got home earlier tonight, the light was on in the living room of the guest house and it stayed on until the early morning hours when I finally decided to rest my eyes from all of the extra studying I’ve been doing. Even though it’s not the first time I’ve noticed it, I don’t want her to think I’m spying on her if I bring it up either. She’s a grown woman about to become a mother and she’s doesn’t need anyone questioning her about leaving the lights being on. If she feels better leaving them on all night long, then she’s not doing any harm.
The thought did occur to me that maybe she needed the lights on in order to sleep, being in a strange place and all, maybe the light comforts her. Or, could it be she’s having trouble sleeping because she’s still afraid her ex-husband is going to find her? And if that’s the case, no one should have to live that way. I’ve reassured her numerous times that she is safe here, but unless I’ve experienced what she’s been through, I can’t possibly know what it’s like and how she must feel.
I considered sending her a text but if she had been sleeping with the lights on, I would hate for the text to have disturbed her.
When I finally closed my books and crawled in the bed, I tossed and turned while thoughts of her filled my head. I kept thinking about a conversation I had head earlier between me and my dad.
He and I have always had a bond between us that most guys my age would envy. He’s always complimented me on my decision making skills and how I’ve handled myself over the years. Just last week while putting in some hours at the pharmacy, he questioned me again about possible feelings I might be developing for Jennifer. I know he asked a while back and I blew him off, but is it that obvious now? He said he was proud of me for sticking by her and that my good deeds would not go unnoticed. The only thing I could say to him was I was thankful for the way he and my mom raised me. I’m not ready to admit to anyone that I’m falling for her.
Even though I never denied any feelings for Jennifer other than her being a good friend, I’m pretty sure he knows. I do believe people are put into our lives for a reason, and I have often wondered why my path crossed with hers. When her divorce is finalized, maybe then I won’t feel so guilty about thinking of her in a romantic kind of way.
“Son, I respect that of you. I really do. But I also know there’s a certain sparkle to your eyes anytime her name in mentioned. I also know you are extremely focused on your studies, but don’t let a good thing possibly pass you by either.” His words played over and over in my head. The last time I remember looking over at the clock it was almost three in the morning.
I hear the buzzing of the alarm clock and I roll over to hit the snooze. I’m usually up the first time the alarm sounds, but this morning, I would give anything to have just thirty more minutes to sleep. I’ve pretty much trained my body that a few hours rest each night is plenty for me to make it through the day, but this morning I feel like I’ve hardly sleep at all. Images of Jennifer kept running through my mind. What the heck is going on?
The alarm sounds again and this time I literally crawl out of bed and make my way to the shower. As I stand under the steady stream of water, images of her fill my head. I should do something special for her, but what? I rinse the shampoo from my hair then grab a washcloth that’s hanging on the shower bar. As I wipe the soap over my body, I can’t help but notice the erection that’s still lingering around since I got up out of bed. I brush my hand over it trying to ignore it, but then the thought of taking a shower with Jennifer enters my mind, and my erection becomes even harder. There’s simply no denying, I do have feelings for her. Using my hand that has a good bit of soap, I slide it up and down my dick hoping to tease it and make the erection will go away. Only the opposite seems to happen though. I’m so hard right now it’s impossible to ignore. I can’t believe thinking about her has caused this to happen. It’s not that it’s a bad thing, but damn, it’s been a long time since I’ve been in this predicament. I find myself stroking it faster and faster while my breathing intensifies until I finally reach my release.
I finish with my shower and while I stand in front of the mirror, I can’t ignore the slight erection that is lingering. A smile creeps over my face as I slide my boxers up to cover it. It’s been so long since I’ve sexually been involved with anyone, I just don’t need to lose control of myself. Things are starting to happen with my body just by thinking about Jennifer and I don’t need the distraction right now.
The last relationship I was in didn’t end well because I couldn’t separate school and pleasure. I couldn’t keep my head where it needed to be so I ended it. I made a promise to myself that I was going to keep my life on track and work on my career. Now that I’m almost done, I have to ask, could I offer my heart again to someone so soon?
I throw on a polo shirt and khaki shorts and head downstairs to see what Mom’s fixed for breakfast. My mom is sort of old-fashioned in the sense she still likes to fix breakfast for my dad and me before we head out for the day. I reach the bottom of the stairs and stop almost immediately when I notice who’s sitting at the kitchen table. Jennifer.
It doesn’t take long before the visitor in my shorts returns and I feel my face redden.
“Good morning.” She says without looking up. If I didn’t know any better, I would say she either didn’t’ sleep very well or something is troubling her. Not to mention, her eyes look overly tired too.
“Morning.” I reply, not only trying to hide the shock of seeing her here but not wanting to draw any attention to my issue down below either. I hope my shirt is long enough to cover my tent at least until I can sit down to the table.
I walk to the refrigerator and pull out the milk. Mom is standing by the stove putting the eggs in a bowl before bringing them over to the table. My hand is trembling so bad I’m barely able to hold onto the glass so I can pour the milk. I tell myself to settle down, there’s nothing to get so worked up about. No one knows I just got myself off in the bathroom and it’s all because the woman sitting at my kitchen table is clouding up my mind.
I see Jennifer’s glass is almost empty and feel bad for not asking if she needed a refill before I sat down. I just needed to sit down quickly so I could adjust myself.
“So what brings you by this morning?” I ask hoping the coloring in my cheeks has returned to normal. I’m actually happy to see her but the look she’s wearing has me somewhat concerned.
“I was sitting out on
the porch this morning when your mom walked out to get the newspaper. She invited me over, figured I could use some company.”
That’s my mom. She has always tried to look after everyone.
“So, have you been doing okay? I’ve been meaning to stop by to see you but I’ve been so overwhelmed with one of the classes I’m taking. I’m counting the weeks ‘til I’m finished.” I’m really at a loss for words right now and the only thing I feel comfortable talking about is school. I should be ashamed of myself for not asking about the baby, but I feel so embarrassed knowing what just happened in the shower only minutes ago.
“Physically, I’ve been doing great.” She adds quickly, then hesitates before saying more. “Brian was recently served divorce papers so I’ve had a little trouble sleeping at night.”
I knew it. I knew there was some reason why she looked so tired. “He hasn’t bothered you has he?” I’m quick to come to her defense.
“No. Not really.”
“You don’t sound so convincing.”
“I guess my body still thinks I need to sleep during the day and be awake all night.” She hesitates for a moment. “And it didn’t help that he tried to pull a little stunt last night either.”
“Oh yeah?” I knew there was more going on. Hopefully, talking about it will help.
“Yeah, well, it’s not uncommon for Rebecca to call me at night while she’s working. I didn’t think anything about seeing her number show up on my phone so late since I know her shift ends at eleven, but she usually sends a text first just to see if I’m still awake. Only it wasn’t Rebecca on the other end of the call.” She hesitates before finishing the story. “It was him calling me from her phone. Something happened at the hotel and Brian was able to take Rebecca’s phone from behind the counter. I got a little spooked thinking he may be outside or something but my mind was just going crazy.”
“I’m so sorry. You know if you ever get scared you can call me. I don’t mind coming down to the house to sit with you. Besides, I’m usually up pretty late anyways.” I didn’t want to tell her I noticed the lights on, but I would have been there in a moment’s notice if she had only called.
“Thanks, but I didn’t want to bother you. I know you’ve got your own life to live rather than being bothered by me and my problems.” She drops her head to stare down at her plate.
“Seriously, call me next time. I mean it. Sometimes I’m still wired from studying so much it’s hard for me to fall asleep.” I hope I sound convincing enough to her.
Mom sits down at the table with us and my dad joins us minutes later. Everyone starts making small talk and before long we are all finished and thanking mom for another great meal.
“You know, if your dad would find a tech to help him open up in the morning, I’d make sure all of you ate like this every morning.” Mom teases.
We all laugh knowing my mom would love to be able to stay home instead of working so much but she’s dedicated to helping my father with the pharmacy.
My dad doesn’t take long before adding to my mom’s comment. “I’m trying to talk Jennifer into helping out. I told her how you started out being a tech before deciding to attend pharmacy school.” He looks at me before continuing. “There’s a program at the local Community College that offers accelerated classes for tech certification. You should really consider it.” I know he would appreciate it I contributed to the discussion, but I also don’t want her to feel pressured.
“Maybe after the baby is born.” She finally tosses in as though she may seriously be considering it after all.
“Well, I hate to crash this party, but I need to be on my way to class. I would hate to miss something important.” I push my chair underneath the table, relieved to know the slight situation I had earlier is now under control.
I leave the three of them sitting at the kitchen table and grab my keys and bag before heading out to the truck. I really can’t handle hearing my dad talking to Jennifer about a job. I know she mentioned looking for work but I don’t know if I could handle being near her all the time without going crazy.
I arrive at school with plenty of time to spare before my first class. I pull out my laptop to check over a few of my notes then start getting everything ready for my lab work. The instructor is running behind this morning so I click off of my notes and check my email. There are a couple of messages pertaining to graduation and reminders of important dates, but other than that, it’s mostly advertisements and spam. Before closing out my email, I notice an ad for flowers.com. Would I be out of line if I sent Jennifer an arrangement or something? Just something simple to brighten her day because she was so sad this morning. I click on the link and start the process of ordering an arrangement to be delivered to her at the guesthouse.
I don’t think roses are appropriate since this is about friendship and not romance. There are a couple of options to pick from that hopefully won’t send her the wrong idea. I finally settle on a bouquet of sunflowers. If you’ve ever seen a field of sunflowers before, you know how beautiful they are especially first thing in the morning. I fill out a bit of information for the delivery, put in my payment method and verify the address is correct. One more click and the order is complete. I hold my breath for a moment hoping I did the right thing.
I wake up and rub the knot that has formed in the back of my neck. I have no idea what time it is, but I know I was awake a good bit of the night. I look around the apartment and see the sun shining through the patio blinds so it must be mid-morning. For just one small moment, I had that little bit of hope last night. Talking to Jennifer on the phone gave me a slight bit of encouragement that there could still be a chance for us. But as the conversation continued, I think I only pushed her further away. I said some pretty ugly things just before she hung up on me.
I still can’t believe I was able get Rebecca’s phone from the hotel. That was pretty slick on my part. I just knew she was going to show up here banging on the door causing a scene but she didn’t. Surprisingly, she never tried calling her phone from the hotel line either. It’s like she gave up and figured it wasn’t’ worth the effort. The way I feel towards her, if she had shown up here, I probably would have smashed the phone before giving it back to her. I despise her that much.
After several failed attempts to get a reply from Jennifer using my phone and Rebecca’s, I gave up since both phones were about to die and needed to be charged. I was so worked up, I didn’t bother getting up off of the couch before falling asleep.
Speaking of phones, I look around me and see both phones on the coffee table. I grab the phone in the pink case and turn it on. What’s it going to hurt sending another text message to Jennifer?
I slide my finger over the screen to turn the phone on and I notice the screen appears different. I look in the right hand corner to check for service since sometimes reception can be limited here, but there are no bars lit up. In fact, the symbol indicating no service is staring back at me. I’m sure it’s just where I’m sitting so I stand up and move over by the door. Sure enough, the screen remains the same. I attempt to make a phone call, but a recorded operator tells me the phone I am using is no longer a working phone.
Shit!” I say out loud. I should have known Rebecca would have the phone disconnected. I guess anyone who had their phone taken would do the same thing, but I thought for sure Rebecca would put up more of a fight to get her phone back.
I scroll through the phone to see if there might be something here that gives me some idea of where Jennifer is. Surely there’s a text message or an unusual phone number in the call log with a different prefix. I could call from my phone to check any number that wasn’t ordinary. But nothing looks suspicious. Most of the numbers called were programed in with names and Jennifer’s number doesn’t appear anywhere in the list. I look again to make sure Jennifer’s number is still listed as a contact and it is. Maybe I was wrong and the two of them have not been in touch after all. I find that to be highly unlikely though.
&nbs
p; Next, I go through the text messages. One by one, I read them and still nothing about Jennifer. Even the texts between Rebecca and her boyfriend don’t mention anything related to me or Jennifer. There are other texts between people I don’t know, apparently family members of Rebecca’s or people she goes to school with. I come up empty handed.
Next, I look through the pictures that are saved on the phone. It’s frustrating to scroll through them and see pictures of Jennifer and Rebecca together, out having a good time. All of the photos appear to have been taken before I arrived here because nothing looks recent. I’d give anything to have one more look at the smile on Jennifer’s face just like the ones here. She had such an outgoing personality when I met her. I can’t believe I threw it all away.
I go back over to the coffee table and grab my phone. I can’t stand to see any more of Jennifer’s pictures. It hurts too bad right now knowing she’s somewhere else, carrying my baby, and there’s nothing I can do to bring her back.
“What the hell?” I say out loud. Something’s not right with my phone either.
I tap a couple of the keys and nothing seems to be working. I try to reboot it, but it doesn’t appear any different. I grab the charger from the table and walk outside to the breezeway. Surely I just need to charge it and it will be fine.
I give it a few seconds for the light to show it’s charging, then I restart it again. No! Don’t tell me my phone has been deactivated too. The charger prevents me from walking very far, but the screen shows the same “not active” symbol as Rebecca’s did. This just sucks.
If both phones have been deactivated, this tells me one thing—Jennifer and Rebecca were in contact with each other. They planned it this way. Now, I have no way of contacting anyone.
I feel the anger building inside me and I fight hard to control it. I snatch the charger from the wall and head back inside the apartment. I pick up Rebecca’s pink phone and, with as much force as possible, I throw the phone across the room towards the kitchen. It hits the side of the refrigerator and falls in the floor scattering into many pieces. Without thinking, I do the same thing to my phone. Instead of hitting the refrigerator, the phone hits the wall behind the kitchen sink knocking over the detergent and hand soap bottles along with a couple of other little trinkets Jennifer had sitting around the sink. It makes a loud noise but I don’t care anymore. I don’t care if the neighbors upstairs hear it, the people across the hallway hear it, or if no one hears it. I’m sick of this game both of them are playing.
Never Look Back (Coming Home Book 2) Page 8
