As I pull back into my seat, trying to comfort myself, I stare outside the window next to me. Now that we have departed from the station, I spot my car parked up where I left it. It feels bittersweet leaving it behind. I really loved that car, but I know for a fact that if I was to stay in it any longer, I would have been busted by the police. My paranoia tells me that those men are the police, but it might have just been a freak coincidence.
The partial and more hopeful side of me that says it is a coincidence is soon squashed as I discover two police cars pulling up right next to my car in a hurry. Nausea soon spreads like a rash within me. I just want to kneel down and vomit. This is too much! I pick myself up again to look, but the moving train soon makes it impossible to see. While rubbing and holding my hands in a prayer position, I try to coax my mind into believing everything will be alright. I'm on the last leg of the journey now, the worst is over! I've only got around five stops until I will be able to jump on Dean's motorbike and leave this nightmare behind. Despite my best attempts of reassuring myself, I can't help but wish he was here with me. I feel so vulnerable!
I sink my head further into the headrest and hope for the next six stops to be fast so I can end this ordeal. My body cannot take much more, I feel sick, lost, alone and helpless right now. The only thing that brings me some degree of comfort is the necklace Dean got me earlier today. Every time I touch it, I feel as though I am being transported through time, back to that recent, but fond memory. A tame smile emerges on my face.
"I'm doing the right thing, I know I am." I whisper quietly while rubbing the sapphire crystal with my fingers.
Chapter 8
Time is dragging so much! The train has just gone past the second station. Only four more left till I arrive at East Vegas. I tilt my head upwards, and begin staring endlessly at the artificial lights in the carriage, envisioning mine and Dean's future. We are wanted people, him more so than me, but that's not the point. He said he has a stash of money somewhere, which will help us, especially combined with my $80,000. The vivid reminder of me holding $80k forces me to rummage into the duffel bag to ensure it's there. The fear of the police masked my paranoia of the money I'm holding. I hate the thought of going out in public with just $100, let alone $80k! Reassured that the money is all there, I sense a portion of my anxieties ease up, rendering me somewhat relaxed and reassured. It was bad enough leaving my car behind, but to lose $80,000 as well would be catastrophic!
I go back to tilting my head upwards to stare at the lights once again. It's crazy to think that it was only four hours ago that Dean and I were having lunch together in town, I didn't see none of this coming. My eyes shut, blocking out the light which allows my peacefulness to take a new high. Despite the situation I'm up against, I could easily fall asleep right now. The gentle rocking of the train, plus the blissful silence in the carriage edges me ever closer to sleep. The combination of a large group of noisy juveniles at the back of the carriage, and a stray thought reminds me that I can't do that. If I miss the station, I'm screwed. Dean will leave and I will be left with having to pick up the pieces, again. Just a little while longer, and I will be able to sleep for as long as I wish. Today has so taken it out of me. My body feels as though it has run a marathon twice in one day! The emotions and thoughts have left me feeling extremely fatigued.
I know it's too late to go back, and I am a huge over thinker, but I really hope that the faith I have instilled in myself and Dean in this situation will pay off. I cannot afford for this to turn out to be like another Ryan experience! I let out a light laugh under my breath. I always seem to end up with the guys that mess me around. But I am sure Dean is different. The vibes he omits is one of certainty, and confidence. Even when I confronted him about this whole scam of his, after he left, I felt empty and alone. That's real. I never felt that with Ryan. After the "honeymoon" period passed in our relationship, he had this dark, unpredictable aura going on, and boy when he had a drink, he got angry! It's strange how you remember the first moment of everything. I remember my first kiss, the first time I met Amy, the first time my teacher yelled at me, and of course, the first time Ryan punched me. Normally I hate to revisit these memories, but I feel so much stronger now. I'm not that weak, wimpy, timid girl I was before, and that's all because of Dean. There's no way in hell I'm going to let him mess me around again, I've taken the leap he so desperately wanted me to take, and I believe it when he said he will prove his loyalty to me. He's risking his freedom for me, that's all the proof I need.
As I stare out of the window, I ponder why I didn't just get a taxi instead of the train. To be honest, it didn't even come to my mind, but now I think of it, it would be far too risky. What if the cops sent out a broadcast on the radio or something? The driver would hand me in straight away, especially as I am a woman, it wouldn't be difficult to overpower me. The good thing with public transit is the fact that there are more people around and I can blend in more easily, whereas in a cab, my face is exposed by anyone that might know of me. That's kind of contradicting as I'm staring out of a huge window now, but luckily if I lean back into my seat far enough, I'm hidden.
I just hope the police think that I simply dumped my car and ran. A shiver shoots across my spine as the sheer terror of almost getting caught amplifies. I swear, someone is definitely looking over me, my luck is never normally this good. Literally, had I have missed this train, I would have been toast. I don't even know what type of punishment I could face, but I sure as hell don't want to find out. Thank God, I didn't coax myself into driving the whole way as that black car would have caught us both out straight away.
I feel myself rocking left and right in my seat as I scramble for a rational excuse to why I left, just in case I do subsequently get caught. I sense my fingers going cold over the thought of it, but I battle against it. I need to have a plan, because what Dean said was right - they can't prove that I'm leaving to meet him. I mean I'm sure I will still get into trouble for not telling the cops that Dean was in the house or for not helping them get out of the duct tape, but surely it would be far worse actually leaving with Dean out of Vegas. Either way I'm screwed, and will probably never get a good job!
I lean up off the seat and ask the same guy who gave me the time earlier how long we have until the next stop. He looks begrudgingly at me and tells me it's only a couple of minutes away. I thank him and lean back into my seat anxiously.
"Please be on time!" I mumble while clasping my knees tightly together.
All of a sudden, I hear a static sound come from the speakers above in the carriage. I glance up to gage it more. It sounds like someone fumbling with a microphone. Out of no-where, a masculine voice rings out of it, saying, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we are now approaching Northumberland Heath Train Station, but due to a police inspection, I am unable to open the doors of the carriages. Law enforcement officers will be searching each carriage, so I request that you remain seated and patient whilst they conduct their inspection. Thank you."
And just like that, my lungs feel as though they have collapsed. Every ounce of hope and faith has now diminished! Avoiding eye contact with anyone I clutch my arms around my chest, I can't even think of what to do. I'm trapped! The noisy juveniles at the back of the carriage start standing up and pacing with a look of dread on their faces. A strange sense of calmness suddenly comes over me. Maybe the police are after them and not me?
Even if they are not after me, it's still far too risky to stay here! I look around erratically in search of plausible hiding spots, but I can't see anything. One part of me wants to hide underneath my seat, but it wouldn't work. If the cops were to see me, it would appear so obvious that I'm trying to evade them. With noticeably freezing hands, I grip the headrest of the seat in front and begin to pull myself up. Something is pulling me to ask the youths if they are in trouble, but the other says to just shut up and sit back down. The juveniles' anxieties amp up as we get closer and closer to the station. They're definitely in trouble, but so am I.
I sit back down and gingerly peer out of the window. The train is coming into the station right now. I gasp as I see eight law enforcement officers and four K-9 German shepherds. I lean back into my seat and hold my breath as we go past them slowly.
Being in the second carriage, I am fortunate enough to be far enough away from the officers. The station is busy, packed with people who want to come on, but cannot until the inspection has been completed. I can only see a few officers, but the slight bend of the station allows me to see the last carriage of this train. I scan closely, watching the four officers and dogs. The doors remain firmly shut. My body seizes tightly in anticipation for them to board the train. The urge to close my eyes right now is irresistible, but they are prompted wide open as I watch the officers and their dogs split into groups of four, one group for each carriage. There's only five carriages that separates me from them. Omg!
With timely coordination, each of the four groups enter the last four carriages of the train. It's clear they're doing a swoop. I really wish I could contact Dean right now. I kneel into the fetal position, nursing my sickness, while grabbing the cold flesh around my arms at the same time. What the fuck do I do?! Do I hit the emergency button and make a run for it and risk the cops chasing me as I try to blend in with the busy crowd? Or do I just stay and hope that they don't recognize me?
Neither of the irrational ideas appeal to me, nor do they offer me any source of hope. Even though they are swooping each carriage and they are far enough away from me at the moment, I can't help but feel like already giving up. I just want to die right now. I'm sick of my heavy heartbeat, I'm done with the knots in my stomach and the cold chills. It would be far better to simply surrender. I sense my body go limp, and motionless.
The sound of the officers shouting "clear", gets louder and louder. They're probably only three carriages away from my one now. The agitated juveniles in front are all of a sudden becoming way more erratic.
One of them yells, "Fuck this y'all, let's hit the emergency button and just dash y'all. The feds 'gon get us if we stay!"
There is about nine of them, all with bulging eyes. They look at the taller guy who yelled and they all simultaneously nod at his proposal. With hurrying body language, the taller juvenile smashes the emergency button and the doors sling open, they all make a wild dash for it onto the platform. The startled public that are standing on the platform are left stunned as the youths push through the crowd roughly.
I turn to gaze back at the carriages to see the officer's reaction. Loud shouting shatters the atmosphere. It's the cops. All of them and the German shepherd speed out of the train in pursuit of the juveniles, one of the officer's shouts, "they're male youths!" signaling that they are not who they are after. Their short pursuit suddenly comes to a grinding halt as they rush back into the carriage to continue their inspection, leaving only one officer outside to work out what carriage the youths escaped from. I now know they are after me!
Other passengers on my carriage use the opportunity to leave, and others use it to jump on the train from the platform. The officer outside struggles to keep order and begins to yell at everyone, warning them not to leave or enter the train. A small glimmer of hope is suddenly restored.
This is my chance to escape from the train. It's all or nothing.
Chapter 9
Even though I know I need to get out of here, my body is completely stiff and unable to move. I'm scared that if I make a run for it, the officer outside will grab me and that will be it. I've never had to experience this much terror in my entire life! Every single limb of my body is paralyzed by fear right now. My fingertips are cold and blue, my heart is thrashing against my chest, there is not one part of me that wants to run out of this train, but by the same token, there is not one part of me that wants to stay here. The sound of the officer's voice getting louder and more aggressive snaps me out of my fearful thoughts. I need to go, and I need to go now!
I take in a deep breath, and grab my duffel bag before summoning the power to bolt out of the doors into the wall of people. I reluctantly take a glance to my left to see where the ranting cop is while the other officers are swooping the inside of the train. He's not looking my way, I don't think he saw me! As I plow through the stunned spectators, tremors begin to plague my knees, rendering them unstable, almost as though I am running on jelly. The fear of the police chasing me, spurs me on to pushing through the crowd more roughly. "Move!" I yell, whilst trying to keep my head ducked. I vaguely hear some of the people cursing at me, but I don't care. I need to get out of this station, now!
Managing to finally push through everyone, I make it to the gates of the station. I take one glance back in hope rather than expectation. I don't see any officers. With one last swoop of adrenaline, I exit the station and begin to walk amongst the other pedestrians in an attempt to blend in. Oncoming people on the sidewalk give me a dirty look like they know I'm up to something, which in turn worsens my paranoia. I suppose it doesn't help that I am gasping for air, and semi-crouched down. My lungs and muscles are burning! Pushing through those people has really taken its toll on me. There were hundreds of them! Well at least it felt like there was that many. I hate rush hour!
With not a moment to spare, I pick myself up and walk the sidewalk at a brisk speed to get as far away from the train station as possible. Where do I go now?! I need to get out of this area right now! But how? The taxi option is the most appealing right now, but I sense a manhunt is well and truly underway for me and Dean. I can't risk getting caught. I can't! I hope Dean is alright. I wish I could hear from him right now. The sound of sirens from a distance adds more urgency to get out of here. I just can't do this anymore! I have no more energy left whatsoever. The stress that has ridiculed my body this last day has beaten every ounce of optimism within me. I'm bruised, both physically and emotionally. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. I can't believe I'm thinking like this but, I'd do anything to be back in Colorado, even though that was the one place I thought I could never summon the courage to go back to, Vegas tops that right now. Jess wouldn't even help me if I was to get caught, to her, I've snuffed her big shot and the big job. She always thought she was superior to everyone else, always had the tendency to look down on people like me. But why though?
With my right hand firmly gripping the gym bag's strap, I use my left hand to scratch the scalp of my head in agitation over everything. I haven't even got the time! I know it's late, I can sense it. My walking speed goes up a notch as the severity of the situation intensifies. I glance all around the street constantly, scared that the cops are going to pop up out of no-where. I spot an elderly lady sitting on a public bench, and proceed to ask her for help.
"Hey, sorry to interrupt, but do you know how to get to East Vegas station from here? Oh, and do you have the time?" I ask while still out of breath.
She looks at me out of concern more than anything. "Yeah, sure. You can get a bus across the street there." She pauses to point before continuing, "Jump on the 229 bus, they are pretty frequent, and that will take you right outside the train station. Are you okay sweetheart?" She asks.
Relieved that there is a solution literally across the road sends hope throughout me. "Thank you so much! Yeah, I'm fine ma'am, I'm late for work, that's all." I lie with a big smile on my face, rushing to end the conversation.
"Okay, well have a great day." She smiles warmly at me.
Quivering sensations course throughout me. This is the first time since this entire crap started, that I don't feel like a criminal. "Thank you, you too. Bye." I wave back to her with a smile that matches hers.
I agonizingly wait to cross the street. Come on, come on! Screw it! I run across the busy street despite the cursing and hooting of many drivers, and get to the bus stop. "Where are you, where are you?" I mutter frantically at the notice board. I nervously stand, staring at the sign that tells me what times the buses are due. Fuck! I never got the time from that lady. My right foot begins to tap the floor rep
eatedly as my patience grows thin. Out of no-where a bus pulls up at the stop, I take a quick glance to see what bus it is. "Yes!" I am relieved to see that it's the 229! Still gripping my bag, I hastily jump on the bus and buy a ticket. The bus begins to move off from the stop before I have the opportunity to sit down, almost leading to me tripping over. Now at the back of the bus, I sling my bag on the seat next to me and let out a huge sigh. I want to cry out of relief more than anything, but I have no more tears in me to cry. Today has forced them out of not only my eyes, but also my skin. I feel so sweaty and clammy, it's disgusting!
As I finally begin to regain control over my breathing, a stray thought comes to my mind - how long will this bus take to get to the station, and what is the time?
I lunge forward off my seat, grabbing the duffel bag yet again, not wanting to risk leaving $80,000 on a seat, and make my way to the driver. Fighting against the forces of the moving bus, I manage to get to the driver.
"Excuse me sir, how long will it take to get to East Vegas station?" I ask politely.
"It's not as busy as it normally is at this time of the day, so we should be there in the next ten to fifteen minutes." He replies whilst focusing on the road.
"Okay, thank you." As I am about to return to my seat, I realize I forgot to ask the time. "Sorry, what's the time?" I ask with a squinting eye.
Doubt #3 (The Deception Series #1) Page 5
