by Ali Parker
“Does she know how you feel?” When he met my eyes, I could tell he was being sincere. “You’re not the best at opening yourself up.”
“What the hell does that mean?” I pushed my chair away from the table and turned to face him. “You don’t even know. I’ve opened myself up plenty. She’s not interested, and she’s already informed me that I don’t treat women to suit her.” I was so irritated that I grumbled.
“Sorry, man.”
“If you want to be useful, I could use your help with this system.” It wasn’t often I could get Luke in the office after hours, and he was the only one of us that had a grasp on computers. You’d think me and my family had been living in a hole for the past twenty years. I guess we had in a sense.
“I’ll see what I can do. No promises.” He aimed the monitor in his direction and pulled the keyboard closer. “I should have kept Cindy around. She would have had this shit done already.”
I slapped his arm and watched as he worked his fingers across the black keys. “I’ll hire her. Is she available.”
“Hell no, we’ve got enough exes lurking around here. Besides, she’s a handful.”
“Yeah, we Dawsons sure have a way, don’t we?” We shared a laugh, but my gut was still tied in knots with thoughts of Lauralee.
Chapter 12
Lauralee
Tyler walked me to my car after midnight and had a long talk about his ex and why he was concentrating on himself. I guess I couldn’t help but relate to him, though I did kind of feel like he was only saying those things to feel me out. I might have trusted his sincerity more if he hadn’t asked me out for the weekend. Like a hypocrite, I refused him on the basis that, in a sense, he was my employee, even though my father still ran the show. I didn’t think Daddy would appreciate me dating the hired hands, but then again, he’d barely tolerated Ted when we dated, so he probably wouldn’t find anyone good enough.
Tyler was nice enough to watch me drive away. I hoped that our next encounter wouldn’t be awkward. His friendship meant a lot, actually, and as I drove away, I hoped it would continue.
I’d managed to push Ted to the back of my mind until I turned down the long road that led me home. Passing Mr. Stutt’s house didn’t even distract me for long, though I did make a mental note to check up on the status of the property.
I kept seeing him leave with that girl, and how Ella followed him out shortly after. It didn’t matter if he left with her or not. I had a pretty good idea where they were ending up. Ella’s party. And Lucy was right. Ella arrived long enough to clear out most of the bar. She even invited me and Tyler before she left, but that wasn’t what rubbed me.
If Ted had been with Ella that would have been expected. But no, he had to run out with yet another of our town’s finest. Seeing them leave together had cut me to my core, and I had to excuse myself to the ladies’ room to keep Tyler from noticing the redness ringing my eyes. I regretted going out and wasn’t sure what I’d been trying to prove. I guess I hoped that somehow, some way, we’d end up together.
I’d been holding onto those secret wishes for too long. Six years too long if anyone was counting. I thought that maybe that sweet boy that I’d known, the one that kept my grandmother and Mrs. Dawson calling him Teddy, didn’t exist anymore, even though most others would put money on the fact that he never did.
I knew better though. There was a heart of gold under all the tarnish that was Theodore Ezra Dawson. I thought back to our first time, and how he’d been so tender with me. I had gone out to find my brother, who had sneaked off fishing with David. Ted was angry with his father that he had been put to work stacking hay on his own while Mason and Luke got to work on their FFA projects. I showed up about the time Ted shucked off his shirt and tossed it over the railing of the loft near the stairs. I will never forget my welcoming view, his tight abs and perfect, glistening chest, the sweat beaded on his forehead and his face red from heat.
He watched me climb the ladder and offered his hand as I reached the top. “Is Bailey around?”
He grinned and dropped his bale hooks. Before I could react, he pinned me against the railing. “You sure you came up here for your brother?” He held my waist gently, and I remember thinking that I had the hottest boyfriend on the planet. I couldn’t peel my eyes from his, and they smoldered as he leaned in. His thick-lashed lids closed as his lips met mine, and I melted against him, sweat and all.
His hands hitched me up, and before I could fear going over the rail behind me, he spun us, carrying me to the nearest busted bale that was scattered across the floor and lay me back beneath him. As he lowered himself atop of me, my palm flattened against his chest. “Bailey will find us.”
“He’s at the creek with David.” His eyes met mine, and with the slight lift of his brow, I realized we were alone. We’d dated for months and all the making out and heavy petting had led us to where we were. I wrapped a leg around his hips and pulled him into a deep kiss, exploring his mouth. The warmth of his flesh under my fingertips blossomed through me and I urged his hands under my shirt and into my bra. His hands were so rough against my breast as he groped and teased my nipple. I gasped at the pleasure when his mouth closed around it.
His mouth left me. “Are you all right? Is that okay?” I opened my eyes to find his were wide, almost panic-stricken.
“No, it’s fine. I was caught off-guard is all.” As we lay there staring into one another’s eyes, he pressed his erection against me. I tugged at his jeans. “Don’t stop this time.”
I could read the uncertainty in his eyes, but he finally nodded and leaned up to undo his pants as I slipped mine down, taking off my boots with them until we were both laid out in our undergarments.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered against my lips. “You’re my Lolly, aren’t you? My girl?”
I nodded as his hand slid down and nudged my panties aside. I remember hoping that finger wasn’t all he’d put inside me. I remember knowing there was no turning back as he pulled the foil wrapper from his wallet and sheathed himself.
We’d both wanted it for weeks, and though we hadn’t, until then, found the right moment or privacy, he was prepared. I remembered my heart pounding, not only from what we were doing but the fact that at any moment we could be caught. My Daddy would surely kill him. But Ted was so tender. He’d hesitated at every chance to assure I was okay and that it didn’t hurt. I’d lied, of course, but he saw it in my eyes. I was scared he’d quit, so I encouraged it. “Please, don’t stop.”
After, he lay there with me, kissing me softly until his breathing leveled against my ear. I glanced up to find him sleeping, and my laughter woke him. “We’re going to be murdered if our parents find us and we’ll wish we were if our brothers do.”
“I guess I’d have to marry you.” He shrugged, and the smile that spread his lips seemed so sincere that warmth rushed up my cheeks. “I’m serious. Someday.” He flattened my hand on his chest again, this time right over his throbbing heart.
“I feel it beating,” I said.
“Mhm, it’s yours. And this one.” He placed his hand above my breast. “Are you gonna let me keep it?”
I crushed my lips against his, only breaking away to gulp a breath of air and answer. “Yes.” I’d been so eager.
My eye caught a coon and her babies crossing in front of me, and I slammed my brakes, skidding to a stop in enough time to save the little ring-tailed family. I’d been so lost in my head I hadn’t seen them, and that would have been the icing on the cake of a shitty night. I don’t know why it surprised me that the memory had almost led to disaster. I waited while the little mama and her babies made it safely to the other side and then I finished the drive to my house.
I headed straight up to bed, careful not to wake the house, as Daddy and Granny were surely sleeping at opposite ends of the house, just close enough to me to warrant my tiptoes. I regretted thinking of Ted and me. Our first time was sweet and tender, but it only reminded me of our last. No am
ount of passion would bring him back to me or mend the wounds we each had. Our best chance was to stop the bleeding and try to remain friends.
It was going to be awkward enough working with him, and I had to go and relive the day I gave him my virginity, and worse, my heart. I wasn’t fooling myself. He’d always had it. What happened between us then and more recently, wasn’t going to change that. No matter how much he didn’t want it or care, it still belonged to him and always would.
He’d tried his hardest to make me hate him and this time was no different. I had half a mind to tell him off and quit, but then that wouldn’t do anything but hurt me. If I was going to go for my dream, I needed the job. Besides, it would take more than his man-whoring to run me off. I wasn’t about to let him think he’d gotten under my skin, and if he did have the balls to fire me, good luck getting Bailey to work for him. He better hope one of his whores knows how to run a farm.
I tossed and turned the rest of the night.
***
Bright and early the next morning I dragged myself into work. I’d made sure to freshen up a bit, hoping to hide the dark circles my restless night had produced. I kept reminding myself that Ted had been to Ella’s party, and with him now in charge on the Dawson ranch, there was no guarantee he’d even made it home yet. It wasn’t like his Daddy would ground him.
I entered the office and was surprised that Ted sat behind the computer, his own eyes rimmed dark, no doubt from the night before. “Oh, you’re here.”
He glanced up and then looked away, sipping his steaming cup of coffee. “Good morning to you too.”
I wasn’t about to entertain him with small talk so I decided it was best if I got to work. “What’s on the agenda.”
“If I don’t pull my hair out from this damned devil machine, we’re going to prep for tomorrow’s intake.” He slapped the side of his monitor, and I couldn’t help notice that it wasn’t connected.
“What are you trying to do?”
“Well, if this stupid thing would stop telling me I don’t have it connected, I’d try to figure it out.”
I approached and leaned over his shoulder. “Do you reboot this thing every morning?”
“I turn it on if that’s what you mean.” He tried to perform his task and was given the same error message.
“When you turn it on after a shutdown, you’ll have to reconnect. It’s the joy of having a satellite and living out in the sticks.” I tapped his mouse and connected his computer. “There, try again.”
“I swear I suck at these damned things.” He shook his head and tried to perform his task again. This time it seemed to work.
“Yeah, well, it’s probably more cooperative on a rested mind.”
He lifted his cap and raked his hand through his hair. “It’s that obvious, huh?” He squinted and scowled at the screen.
“Yeah, I’m sure it was a rough night at Ella’s.” I turned to the clipboard to see my assignment.
His chair squeaked behind me. “I didn’t go to Ella’s.”
I turned to find him facing me, pegging me with a hard stare. I stared back. “I don’t give a care who you were out all night with.”
His chair squeaked again as he spun back around to the computer. “I bet you don’t. You seemed to have your own little party cooking last night.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You heard me. I saw you all over that guy. Who the hell is he, anyway? I’ve never seen him around.” He glanced over his shoulder with narrowed eyes.
“He works for my father if you must know, and we weren’t cooking up anything. If it makes you feel better, I left Kinsey’s alone.”
“As did I.” He turned to poke at the keyboard and growled at the screen.
I huffed, cutting off the audible laugh that escaped me. “Yeah, right.”
Spinning around, he knocked over his coffee. “Dammit!” He moved a stack of papers just in time. “Aren’t there some damned paper towels around here?” He held out his arms, and I grabbed the empty cup.
“I’ll go get some from the house.” And I’d ask his mama what time he’d made it home in the process. I pushed the door open, and he called out behind me.
“Would you bring me another coffee?” As our eyes met, mine with a glare and his with a challenge, the anger swelled in my chest. I wouldn’t dignify the request with a response. No, he could wonder.
Storming out I heard the familiar sound of tires easing across the slag drive and found Mason doing his walk of shame when I rounded the corner of the house. He stayed out by his truck until I went inside, but that was fine with me. I’d ask Mrs. Dawson when her sweet Teddy made it home, and if I knew anything about the woman, she’d know exactly when that was. She didn’t miss much. I quickened my steps knowing that coffee wasn’t going to clean up itself and I imagined Ted staring helplessly at it while he waited.
Mrs. Dawson was in her kitchen when I hurried in. “Ted spilled his coffee.” I dropped the cup in the sink and hurried to the pantry where Mrs. Dawson kept the extra rolls of paper towels.
“Here, take this.” She pulled a bar rag out of the drawer and tossed it across the island bar where I’d eaten many a dinner as a kid. “I’ll get him some more coffee.” She pulled a fresh cup from the cabinet and filled it as she glanced out the window and frowned.
The view from that window, no doubt, gave her a view of Mason who passed by to the porch. I hesitated as she turned and pushed the steaming cup across the bar. “Was Teddy out late?”
Mason peeked by the door but hurried up the stairs as his mama gave him a disapproving frown. “No, that’s Mason’s game these days. That boy is spending more and more nights away from home. I’m afraid he’s going to move out.”
“So Ted, he—”
A slight smile spread her lips. “No, Teddy wasn’t out late. He got home pretty early considering his brother didn’t have the same sense.” Her expression softened a bit, and she dropped her chin and studied my expression. “You two fighting again?”
“I think I owe him an apology.” I lifted the cup. “At least a hot cup of coffee.” I turned and headed to the door as she called behind me.
“Don’t sweat the small stuff, Lauralee. If there’s a little tension here and there, it adds heat to the flames of passion.” Her quick wink fell into a frown. “Or something like that.”
“I don’t know about passion.” I shook my head and then let out a long sigh. “But I’m not giving up on him.”
“I know you won’t, honey.” She giggled and then shooed me out the door.
Chapter 13
Ted
The puddle of coffee threatened to spill over the edge of my desk and onto the floor, but I hoped my death glare would hold it off long enough for Lauralee to get back from the house with something to clean it up. I should have gone inside. At least I wouldn’t have let anything distract me on the way. I noticed Mason’s truck out the window and wondered if she was grilling him about where I’d slept the night before.
My jaw tightened thinking about her audacity. She’d spent the night out, laughing it up with some loser and had the nerve to call me a liar.
I should have gone to that party. I would have saved my brother from the certain misery and trouble he’d gotten into by being around Ella. I thought back to the times before, the way Ella would play her crowd, even from David’s arm, and the one time he’d slipped out early, and she’d made her play for me. I wouldn’t say I fell into her trap, but I saw an opportunity to rid my brother and my family from her grip and end the upcoming nuptials. I let her think she was in control, but I had known exactly what I was doing each time I did her. David was collateral damage in a battle I’d been fighting with Ella ever since.
I watched the puddle, making sure it wasn’t moving, as footsteps approached. As the door swung open, I let her have it. “It’s about damned time!” I used the bar towel and sopped up the cold coffee. “You couldn’t hurry your ass up?”
She placed the coffee o
n the table. “I got your coffee. I didn’t want to spill it too.”
“I saw Mason doing his walk of shame. I guess you grilled him on my whereabouts?”
“No, I didn’t. I—”
Her eyes told me I’d caught her, and I didn’t want to hear anything else she had to say. It irked me that I loved her so damned much and all she could do was try to bring me down with her suspicions. It’s like she wanted me to fail. Like she wanted me to be an asshole so she didn’t have to care about me. I decided at that moment that I’d oblige. “Get the hell out.”
She placed her hands on her hips. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” I plopped down in my chair and grabbed my coffee. “And for your information, I did stay out last night. I got wasted and lost count of the women who were on my cock. That’s what you want to hear, ain’t it? I’m such a fucking whore, using women right and left. Go home, Lolly. You’re fired.”
She stood there, her beautiful lips gaping and her eyes wide. I’d stunned her, and I got a pang in my gut as tears filled her eyes and she stormed out. I pulled the cup to my mouth and cursed as I burned my lip on the fresh coffee.
I should have jumped up and gone after her and apologized for making her cry, but she hadn’t cared about my feelings, and I wasn’t so sure she’d listen to me. It was better this way. I had too much work to do, and I couldn’t concentrate on a damned thing with her around. I had to learn the new programs and still keep the ranch working. I had to stay on track.
When the door opened behind me an ounce of hope wanted it to be her, and my heart ached as I turned my chair.
Mason entered raking his hand through his hair and sat down beside me to sip his own cup of coffee. “When’s that truck coming?”
I turned to meet his eyes and folded my arms across my chest. “That’s it, huh? That’s all you got to say?”
“What?” Mason shrugged, his eyes shifting nervously. “We still have a truck coming, right?”
