by Lila Kane
I’d thought I’d been in love.
Then he’d vanished.
My body shook with rage. The reminder of that humiliation slammed back into me. He’d left me stranded at that B&B without even a ride home—and without an explanation.
“Asshole,” I said to his face.
I pulled off the lid of the coffee and stepped straight up to where he sat. Then I dumped all the contents on the top of his head. He jerked out of his seat as the liquid ran down his expensive suit, all the way to his shiny shoes.
Other customers in the shop gasped—a few even snickered—but I barely heard anything above the loud voice that boomed behind me.
“Elizabeth!”
I turned to find Mr. Chapman with a red face and realized suddenly what a horrible thing I’d just done.
I couldn’t even answer him. I just stood there and waited for the next words.
Mr. Chapman pointed to the door. “You’re fired. Get out of here right now.”
5
Well, shit. Even with coffee dripping over my eyes, I could still see Elizabeth’s rage, which was immediately followed by shock and disappointment.
I watched, along with the entire coffee shop, as she collected her jacket and purse and walked out of the shop with her chin lifted. Almost defiant.
How in the hell had I not known that Stacy’s roommate Libby and my ex-lover, Elizabeth, were the same person? I mean, sure it was a small world—everyone always said that—but this was too much.
I never thought I’d see Elizabeth again. I’d regretted what I did to her, but there wasn’t much I could do beyond that. And, I was ashamed to say I’d put those regrets out of my mind as best as possible. I’d done what I thought was best at the time, but I knew I could have handled it better.
But there were nights the memory of her would come back to me. I’d lie in bed, halfway asleep, and think of the curve of her hip as she slept next to me. Or the softness of her lips when she leaned over to kiss me. The wonder of her hands as she ran them over my body, exploring every inch.
Everything with Elizabeth had felt like the first time. Like we were learning how to make love together. Learning to experiment. I let myself give in to that amazement and trusted her with my mind and body.
Stacy passed by me with a glare before running after Libby. How could I blame her? I’d gotten what was coming to me.
With coffee still dripping down my suit, I shook my arms to get off the excess. The shop manager rushed to me with paper towels and dry rags.
“I’m fine,” I muttered. I still took one of the towels to wipe my phone and then wrap it up before shoving it in the pocket of my jacket.
The manager grimaced and shook his head. “I’m so sorry. If you give me your dry-cleaning bill—”
“Not necessary,” I said, forcing a smile.
I almost added that it was an accident, but we both knew it wasn’t. I left the manager staring after me as I walked from the shop into the sunshine.
Stacy was there on the corner, her hands propped on her hips. I didn’t see Elizabeth.
When I walked closer, Stacy turned and saw me. She marched over with a murderous glare. “What the fuck?”
I straightened my jacket and clenched my teeth when I felt more coffee run down my neck. This. This was why I’d walked out on Elizabeth back then. Because it was inevitable that it would turn out like this—a mess. I’d gotten feelings involved, and so had she, and it hadn’t been the best time for me to indulge those feelings.
“You didn’t tell me you know Libby,” Stacy said.
“You actually think I knew that was who you were bringing me to meet? When I met her, she told me her name was Elizabeth. That’s who I knew her as.”
Her eyes narrowed as she worked this out. Libby and Elizabeth were far enough away neither of us probably would have put two and two together.
And it wasn’t like I’d tried anyway. I didn’t want to think about Elizabeth or the weekend we’d spent together. I’d done all I could to put her out of my mind.
But something had brought us together back then. And today.
Soulmate.
It was just a whisper in my mind, but it rocked me to my core.
Screw that word. It had been haunting me since I met Elizabeth. She and I’d spent more than a fun, breezy weekend together. It had been more than sex. We’d shared a connection I’d never shared with anyone before and it was almost like…
We were meant to be together.
Which was scaring the living hell out of me.
“What happened?” Stacy asked, her voice just a tad softer now.
“It’s a long story.” It wasn’t the first time I’d said those words to her in the last few days.
She frowned. “Did you hurt her?”
I gestured to my outfit and the beads of coffee on the sleeves. “It appears so.”
Her look was one my mom used to give me when I’d reply to her questions with a sarcastic remark.
“What did she call you?” Stacy asked.
I grimaced. “An asshole.”
“Now what are we supposed to do?” Stacy stared across the street, as though still searching for Elizabeth. “I was going to tell her about the apartment today. And then tell her I’m moving out. But how can I do that now? It doesn’t feel right.”
The sun was starting to make the coffee dry. It was getting sticky on my skin and irritating me even more because I knew I needed to change but wanted another solution.
One that would fix this mess.
I thought of that weekend over a year ago. I’d gone to the party one of my friends was throwing even though I hadn’t really wanted to, and I’d invited Stacy.
I didn’t even remember seeing her at the party, though. Especially because I hadn’t stayed long. Once I’d met Libby, seen her wide smile and caught onto her enthusiasm, things had changed. I’d felt like I had before my father had died.
She’d charmed me and then distracted me. All the negative thoughts vanished.
I remember thinking, I want more.
I wanted more of her, so we went for a walk in the city. For four hours.
To be honest, I hadn’t even thought of taking her to bed that night. Not that I hadn’t thought about covering her body with mine, but I felt like it would happen in due time. Things were different with her. Instead of inviting her to my place, I’d gotten her number and forced myself to wait until the next day to call her.
After that, though, I couldn’t keep my hands off her. We met at a restaurant near my apartment and I’d walked right up to her and kissed her.
Then I suggested a weekend away.
To my surprise, she’d not only agreed, she’d been excited. It was spontaneous and fun, and we’d driven down the coast to a B&B in a small tourist town. We made it to maybe two shops before we lost our patience and hurried back to our room.
Then we hadn’t left. We spend the entire night and the entire next day with our bodies pressed together. We shared words—things I hadn’t told anyone else—and kisses. Touches.
And the next day, I’d gotten into the shower early in the morning and it all hit me. I realized just how huge it all was. I was already falling for Libby and we’d just met.
It scared the shit out of me. That feeling of being completely consumed—a feeling I’d never had before.
Love.
After my dad died, I almost believed that kind of love could never be found. And I certainly wasn’t looking for it.
I dedicated myself to work. I was a hotshot at my office, already gunning for partner—and I didn’t want anything to get in my way.
Not even love.
It had been a dick move, but I didn’t know what to say to her. So instead of breaking her heart to her face, I left. I’d snuck out without a note and escaped my feelings.
Up until now.
Once the partners had started talking about settling down, I immediately thought about Elizabeth. She was the kind of person a man wante
d to settle down with.
Even better, she was the perfect girlfriend.
“I know what to do,” I told Stacy abruptly.
Stacy looked over, her eyebrows raised. “What are you talking about?”
“I can fix things with Elizabeth. Libby. And you and your boyfriend. I can fix it all.”
“She just got fired, Ben. And she thinks you’re an asshole. You’re going to fix that?”
Absolutely.
I grinned at Stacy and nodded. “I’m going to make Libby and offer she can’t refuse.”
6
The next morning, I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. I’d tried to block yesterday out of my mind, but the whole scenario played over and over again the entire night. I’d lost my job. Ben Davis came out of nowhere and tried to humiliate me again.
My phone alarm went off and I jerked to attention. I snatched it off my end table and read the notification. Work 9:30.
Yeah right.
I’d been so distracted, so irritated last night, I hadn’t even remembered to take off the alarm.
I groaned and sat up. Even if I’d wanted to sleep in later, I couldn’t. I needed to find a new job immediately.
It didn’t matter that I had a good deal of savings. That was all for the theater. And I couldn’t get by off the money I got for teaching part-time at the community center each week.
I needed something more, and I needed something that would still enable me to do the other things I enjoyed.
Forcing myself to focus, I tugged on a pair of sweatpants and ran my fingers through my wavy hair. It was long mostly because I’d rather not have to pay for haircuts every six weeks than that I really liked it that way.
Everything I’d done for the last two years was out of necessity.
I had a dream and I was bound and determined to see that dream come true.
No one, not even Ben Davis, was going to get in the way of that.
But I still couldn’t believe I’d had the guts to actually dump coffee on him. Sure, he deserved it, but I’d thought I was over what had happened with him last year.
Clearly, I wasn’t.
I’d stuffed those emotions deep inside and pretended everything was fine, but once I’d seen him again, it all came back out.
And it made sense that Stacy knew him. She was the one, after all, who invited me to that fateful party. He must have been invited as well.
When people talked about love at first sight—soulmates—I used to think they were clichés. I mean, that only happened in the movies, right?
Movies I spent plenty of evenings watching and swooning over.
But it wasn’t hard to see the magic in that simple meet-cute Ben and I had that night. Our eyes had met across the room, then we’d spent the evening talking. And I swear, it almost killed me when he hadn’t done anything more than hold my hand as we walked around the park. Not even a kiss, which made me think he wasn’t altogether interested.
Until he’d gotten my number. And then actually called the next day.
It felt like the beginning to a perfect romance.
And the weekend was just a bonus. A fairytale that threw me straight into love.
Crazy, but true. My parents hadn’t known each other for more than two weeks before they got engaged.
Love at first sight.
I believed it existed, I’d just never experienced it until that moment.
But then I’d woken up Sunday morning to find Ben had vanished. Without a word. Or a way back home.
I’d never told Stacy about that weekend and how I’d been used. But it had stayed with me longer than I expected. Made me cautious with my feelings, and cautious with who I spent time with. I’d rather live in the fantasy world of my late-night movies than in the real one where hearts actually broke and never got mended.
I glanced at my bed and almost gave in to the temptation of crawling back in it. I could fall asleep and not have to think. Especially about Ben and his warm, strong hands all over my body. Or his breath on my cheek before he kissed his way down my throat, skimmed one breast, and then moved lower.
Sleeping with Ben had been explosive and amazing and…
Fuck him. Coffee dumped on his head was the nicest thing I could have done. He deserved worse.
Especially because I probably only ruined his suit.
But I’d lost my job.
With a sigh, I left my cell phone where it was and walked out the door, down the small hallway, and to the kitchen.
Jeremy, Stacy’s boyfriend, was standing at the island. Eating cereal.
It wasn’t actually the picture of romance, but I knew Stacy loved him and that was enough for me.
He grinned at me. “You look tired. I bet Stacy kept you up late last night packing.”
“Packing?” I frowned at the cereal. I wanted pancakes. Or a pile of fluffy eggs. Or a chef to make any of those things.
“Packing,” Jeremy said again. “You know, for the… She said she was going to tell you…”
He trailed off at the blank look on my face and spooned more cereal into his mouth.
I narrowed my eyes at him and said, “What?”
“Nothing,” he mumbled around the bite of cereal.
Stacy came in and took a deep breath before saying, “He asked me to move in with him.”
A few emotions hit me at once. I was happy for them. And a little jealous I didn’t have my own Jeremy to eat cereal at my kitchen island. And then, finally, panic. Who was going to pay the other half of our rent?
“That’s great,” I told her, forcing a smile.
Stacy shook her head. Then she put her arms around me. “No. It’s not.”
Jeremy set down his bowl. “What? Why is it not great?”
“Yeah, why?” I echoed.
“Because,” Stacy said. “I got you fired—and—and this is bad timing. We’ll wait.” She gave Jeremy a smile before turning it on me. “We’ll wait until you find another job and—”
“No,” I said, cutting her off at Jeremy’s look. “You won’t wait. If you guys want to move in together, I think you should. I’m really happy for you.”
“But…” Stacy’s forehead furrowed. She glanced at Jeremy. “What about the place? The apartment?”
Or more specifically, what about our rent? She already knew my financial situation.
“It’s fine,” I said. “I’ll figure it out. I’m an adult.”
Stacy’s gaze dropped, and she studied the frayed sleeve of her robe. “But…yesterday…”
I commanded myself to keep my smile in place. To shove aside all the things I wanted to say about Ben Davis Asshole Extraordinaire. Oh, and there was that little detail about how I’d lost my job. “I’m fine,” I told her. “It was a setback.”
“I’m so sorry,” Stacy said, shaking her head. “I didn’t know you knew Ben and I swear, I thought—”
“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.”
“But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Do you, you know, want to talk about it?”
“How I completely humiliated myself with a man who clearly couldn’t give a damn about me?” I asked. Jeremy watched the exchange while he continued to eat his cereal. “Or about how his suit is caramel latte flavored now?”
“Whoa.” Jeremy set down his bowl again. “This sounds like a story I need to hear.”
“Jeremy,” Stacy said.
“What?” He smiled at me. “I can help. I’m sure. Is this Benjamin Davis? That Ben? Because he’s been with like half the women in town. Or at least that’s what I’ve heard, but—”
“Cereal.” Stacy pointed to his bowl. “Eat.”
I rubbed my hands over my face with a groan. Half the women in town? Which meant I was just another check on his list? No wonder he hadn’t stayed the entire weekend. He’d gotten what he’d come for and that was good enough for him.
Stacy put her arm around my shoulders again. “I’m sorry. I don’t know the whole story, but I have a good idea.
I’m not making excuses for Ben, but he’s been through a lot. He really is a good guy deep down.”
What kinds of things had he been through? I wondered. Then I shoved those thoughts aside, too. I’d moved on, he’d moved on. It didn’t matter.
“It’s the past,” I told her.
“But I know he’s really sorry. Like, really sorry.”
“You have to say that because you’re his friend.”
“No, I don’t. I know he’s sorry.”
“If he feels that bad, he can apologize himself.”
She nodded. “I think that’s what he has in mind.”
I blinked and then frowned, glancing at Jeremy, who was still listening to the conversation intently. “What?”
She turned me to the hallway. “Let’s go.”
“Wait.” I panicked for a minute at the abrupt change in subject. “Please don’t tell me he’s here.”
“God, no.” She smiled. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“You kind of did when you came into my work yesterday.”
She held up her hands. “I told you, I had no clue you guys had a past—or even knew each other.”
I stopped in the middle of the hall when a thought suddenly occurred to me. “Hold on. Were you actually trying to set us up?”
She kept walking and I hurried after her.
“Stacy.”
She paused in the doorway to her bedroom. “Yes. I mean, mostly yes. Because I thought maybe you two would…you know.”
“What? Really? You actually thought I’d be interested in someone like that?”
The kind of person who could break a person’s heart and leave them stranded in a strange town without any kind of remorse?
“It’s not what you think, exactly. And he really is a good guy.”
I folded my arms. “You said that before.”
“Ben isn’t the same person he used to be. He’s older, ready to settle down. He…” She smiled at me gently. “Like I said, he feels bad about what happened. He wants to tell you so himself. In person.”
Nerves raced through me before anger sparked inside. See Ben in person? How was I supposed to face him when I just wanted to hurt him?
