“Well, he lives in Nebraska, first of all. And second of all, he didn’t offer. I mean, he still doesn’t really know anything about me, and he has two other kids, so I’m sure he wouldn’t be too excited to bring me into the mix and possibly mess up the new family he has built.”
“True. So you still are going to have to go live with the Jesus freak?”
“Looks that way,” I say.
“But…”
“Oh, there’s a ‘but’? Oh, I can’t wait to hear the ‘but.’ Speaking of butts, Chase has a very nice butt; have you noticed that?”
“Seriously, you need to get out more.”
“Ugh, woman, tell me what the ‘but’ is!”
“Well, apparently Chase has a plan to take me away to a house they have somewhere.”
“Oh my God, seriously? You are going right? You simply have to go!”
“I don’t want him to get into trouble, and he is going to be eighteen in, like, a week, so that would be considered kidnapping, wouldn’t it?”
“Who cares? If he is willing to risk it for you? God, that just makes him even hotter.”
“I can’t really do that, though, you think?”
“Yes, I think! How could you not? Your choices are a)run away with your super-hot boyfriend where no one knows you or b)go live with your Jesus freak aunt and go to church all day, every day. I think the choice is pretty clear!” she shouts.
“Keep your voice down. Geez, the nurses are going to rush in here and sedate you or something.”
“Ah, it’s just all so romantic. He rescues you from death, then finds your dad just so he can see you, all the while with this plan in his head to whisk you away and make you happy. How can you not just melt?”
“Because Em, I don’t know, this is all just a lot. I mean, one minute I am sitting here all alone,”
“Hey,” she interrupts, “You have me!”
“Ugh, you know what I mean. But to go from that to all of a sudden having a dad and Chase wanting to take me away from all this crap? It’s just a lot to take in.”
“Well, then let me make the choice for you. Go. With. Chase. There, see that wasn’t so hard was it?”
“You are the most impossible person I have ever met. I really don’t know how I lived without you.” I flop onto the bed next to her and she flips over so I can lay on her arm.
“For someone who tried to kill herself because she felt so unloved, it sure seems like things are turning around for you.”
“Yeah, I guess it does, doesn’t it?”
“I’m happy for you. You deserve it.”
“I think I am finally starting to see that I do.”
“Promise me that you will let me come and visit your ocean love shack?”
I giggle “Of course. You will always be welcome, no matter where I live.”
With us both still lying on the bed, she starts softly singing some old song about a shack of love from the eighties, and I can’t help but laugh at her. She is truly the best friend I have ever had. She loves me unconditionally, as I do her. We are going to be friends forever. With Emma, Chase and my dad in my life now, the cloud I have been living under for so long is starting to have quite the silver lining.
THE END
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
To God who told me numerous times and in many different ways that I am a writer. Thanks to Him for being patient with me and for guiding my mind and my heart through this entire process.
To my husband Bryan, for listening to me tell stories about Chase and Tenley as if they are real. For talking me out of quitting the book and getting a job in a factory. We both know I wouldn’t have lasted an hour in a factory. You have been my rock. This book would not exist without your support. I love you, and thank you for being my cheerleader… and for not wearing an actual cheerleader uniform, cause that would just be weird.
To my children, Emma, Jack, and Will. Thank you for understanding when you had to dig through baskets to find laundry, have ramen noodles or cereal for dinner, and for my absence at important events and games because I just had to get these thoughts out of my head. Following this dream of mine isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Always follow your dreams, and never ever let anyone tell you you aren’t good enough. I love all three of you more than anything, and you can do whatever you set your mind to!
To Jessica Park, thank you for holding my hand through this entire process. You are an amazing person, and an even more amazing writer. Check out her books (some of my favorites) at http://jessicapark.me/.
To my sister Desiré Lowery, who read the book in all of it’s stages, yelled at me when she wanted more, and helped me work through the problems I had with the story. I love you, you are the best seester a girl could have!
To my beta readers, Teena Medick, Vanessa Ryan, Nancy Molinaire, Jeanne Footit, and Bryan Siebers. Your honesty and love of the characters are priceless to me.
To my editor Carmen Comeaux, thank you for being patient with me, and for every comma that has been added and removed from this book. It would still be a hot mess without you!
To Sarah Hansen, thank you for creating this beautiful cover. The way you crawled into my mind and saw what it needed is a little creepy, but I would happily have you in my head anytime. Thank you!
To my grandparents, Corrine and Richard Krueger, for being better than the grandparents in this story, and for being my parents. I know I wasn’t an easy person to raise, but my strength and confidence come from you. Thank you both for filling the emptiness that was caused by my mother.
To my “Jesus Freak” of an aunt, Amy Anaya, and her husband and kids, Jose, Ric and Jo Anaya. You taught me what family is supposed to be, and most important, you gave me my faith in God. For that I am eternally grateful.
Special thanks to Joseph Quinnell, who wrote the original poem “Clouds That Were” for letting me use the title.
And last but not least, I am grateful to you. If you are reading this, thank you for taking a chance on my novel. I hope it made you feel.
LOOK FOR THE SEQUEL:
Storms Never Last
#2 in the Weathered Hearts Series
Coming Fall of 2014
While Tenleys story is a work of fiction, it is somewhat autobiographical. Having been in this situation, I know that suicide is a very real thought for many people, but it is not the answer. If you or someone you know is in a crisis situation, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
100% of the proceeds of this book are being donated to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline during Suicide Prevention Week.
Table of Contents
DEDICATION
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CHAPTER THIRTY
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
LOOK FOR THE SEQUEL:
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Clouds That Were (Weathered Hearts) Page 16
