With the fireplace turned on, my favorite show about to come on, I settle in for a quiet night or relaxation. Until the doorbell rings. Seriously. Can I not have a quiet night after having a bit of a stressful day? It had better not be my mother.
I make sure I glance in the mirror before I open the door. I am in my pajamas after all. But I’m decent. That’s all that matters. The doorbell rings again. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” I call out. I plaster a smile on my face, even though it’s the last thing I feel like doing. I open the door. It’s definitely not my mother.
“What are you doing here?” I blurt out.
Chapter 4
“What do you mean, what am I doing here? Is that how you greet your best fried? What do you think I’m doing here?” Heather said. “Our program is on and I brought some munchies. Now get out of the door way so I can come in before we miss too much.”
“Sorry. I forgot about tonight.” I tried to apologize as I followed behind her to the couch.
“You had better be sorry. I brought your favorites you know. Chewy chocolate chip cookies and ruffled plain chips with dip. But if you keep up with the attitude, I’ll just keep the cookies to myself.” Heather held the bag in front of my nose and teases me mercilessly.
“Oh, you’re so tough. Give me those.” I made a grab for the cookies and managed to snatch them from her greedy fingers. Imagine the audacity of threatening me with cookies.
About half way through the program I decide to broach the subject that I know Heather actually wants to talk about.
“So I guess you heard the news about today?”
“Whew. It’s about time you brought it up. I’ve been impatiently waiting all evening to talk to you about it. How are you doing? Oh, off subject, what did you think of the Sweet Surprise boxes?” Heather asks.
“Hmmm, I loved them. You did an amazing job creating those little chocolate baskets with all the little goodies. Just perfect. I think we should do more of those throughout the year, but I’ll order some boxes with windows, so you can see the baskets. You once again outdid yourself. Thank you.”
I seriously love all her creations. I sincerely believe her gifting is with food. Not one single thing that she makes turns out tasting bad. Me, on the other hand, well, let’s just say that I’m not that gifted in the area of cooking. Now baking, that is a different story. Where do you think all the cakes from my store come?
“Thanks. That’s a great idea. I’ll have to charge extra next time,” Heather says as she gives a little wink.
“Listen, with all that you do, I couldn’t even begin to repay you. As Matt says, you’re worth your weight in gold.
“But, in all seriousness, I’m okay. Can you imagine Nancy coming up to me like that and telling me to stay away from her son. The claws were visible this time around. She reminded me of a mother bear with her cub. Do I look that dangerous?
“After everything, does she really think we would pick up right where we left off? Um, hello. Besides, from what I understood, he’s already involved, and more than likely hasn’t given me one moment of his thoughts. But why should he? He’s the one who ran away rather than face the music and try to work things out.” I’m babbling. I almost sound like it matters to me, after all this time.
“Me thinks the lady doth protest too much.” said Heather.
“Hmm, it sounds that way doesn’t it? But it doesn’t matter though, does it?” I said, with a hint of sadness starting to settle in. Do I allow my hearts hurts to surface, or should I just shrug them off again and pretend it doesn’t bother me? With Heather, I don’t have to worry about hiding things. And even if I did, she knows me too well. She knows the whole story after all.
“Wynne, I really think it would be helpful if you talked to Jude about it. Bring it out in the open and face the issues. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the past; it’s a part of who you are. You need closure. Then you’ll feel free to move on with your life. You guys made the right decision, so stop beating yourself up about it. It’s time you invested some time into a man, into your future, something other than Chocolate Blessings” encouraged Heather.
“Hmmm, we’ll have to see. Right now, I don’t think it would make much difference. We’re one of those casual acquaintances that have a bit of a history. We’ll be the type of people who are able to say hi without too much awkwardness.” I said without too much conviction.
“Well, I’m sure it will all work out. You might even be a bit surprised at the outcome. I’m here for you nonetheless. Anyways, I’ve been thinking. We need to plan a girl’s night out. I think Tracey could really use it, and it’s been a while since we’ve actually done anything fun.” Heather said while grabbing another cookies.
“Good idea. Where should we go? How about Mama Rose’s? Or grab a chick flick at the theatre? Do you think we can convince Tracey to actually join us? Last time we tried to plan a girls night, she cancelled on us last minute, remember?” I said.
After Tracey’s last baby, it seems like she’s had a hard time finding enjoyment in life. Having three children has to be tiring, but it seems to be more than that. A couple months ago Heather and I had the brilliant idea that Tracey needed to have a night with no kids. We planned a dinner and shopping spree. At the last minute, Tracey cancelled, using the excuse that the baby was being fussy and she didn’t feel right leaving him with Mike.
“Matt has already spoken with Mike, and he’s working on clearing a night from his calendar so that he can be home with the kids. As soon as he lets us know, we’ll go and literally kidnap Tracey so that she doesn’t have time to think of an excuse.” Heather plotted.
I began to giggle. “Ohhh, you sound so sinister.” I laughed at her. Heather just laughed with me before she began to gather her things together.
“Now, it’s time to go home. I’ll let you keep the few cookies that are left. Don’t think about Jude too much tonight - okay Wynne? No sense worrying about something you can’t handle until it’s actually hitting you in the face. I’ll be in the store tomorrow, so I’ll see you then” said Heather.
As I walk Heather to the door, I realize that this is going to be one long night for me. Do I seriously think that I will be able to just ignore the fact that the one guy that I did the unspeakable to, has now returned? I once said that I would never hurt someone in that way. I know how heart breaking that is. Can I ignore the fact that this is one issue I’ve never really dealt with, only because it would mean I would have to face the real issues that I have with God?
I think I need to grab those cookies, and any other chocolate that I can find in my house and indulge. All I can say is that these had better be fat free. There’s no way I’m gaining any weight over my feelings for a man. Dear Diary, here I come.
*****
I glanced out the window to see the sun shining, snow glistening like sparkling diamonds, children’s laughter as they build snowmen, and see the thermometer outside my window reading a balmy –18. Brrrrrrrr. Why is it that children never seem to mind the cold while adults always dread it? I bundle up nice and warm with a think sweater, my parka, wooly mitts, scarf and hat, grab the chocolate cake that I finished making early this morning and head out to my car.
The whole way down the stairs and across the walkway I find myself saying a double prayer. “Lord please let my car start this morning, please let me make it to my car without falling.” I should be wearing my ice skates, either that or ski down the path to my car. If I can make it in one piece this morning without the cake becoming an upside down creation, I’ll be happy. I promise to smile to all those I meet, even though my lips might crack due to the cold, I will play Christmas music all day, and I’ll even make chocolate chip cookies for my next door neighbor who gives me all those mean looks when I come home late in the evening and put on my favorite worship CD nice and loud. If only I make it in one piece.”
Maybe I should include the fact that I’ll even try to not eat chocolate today if I make it in one piece? Do you think
God will hear me and answer my prayer?
Wait a minute; did I really almost say that I’d not eat chocolate today? That’s barely possible, not a idea that my brain can even begin to comprehend, let alone dwell on. I think I need more coffee. No, let me rephrase that. I definitely need more coffee.
*****
I love the routine of opening up the store. I get to see the store in its glory, quiet, clean and well stocked, just waiting for customers to come in and fall in love with all the delicious treats. When the first aroma of coffee begins to drift through the store, then I know it’s time to open. I decided long ago, that no customer would walk into our store and not be greeted by the fresh aroma of brewed coffee and chocolate. I mean, who in their right minds could start their day without those essentials?
I like to have a Flavor of the Week, something that is a new creation for me. I sell this as a product and as a ready-made beverage. This week I decided to make Dreamy Swiss Mocha Coffee Mix. I hit the jackpot this summer when I discovered boxes of decorative tins at a flea market in a nearby town. I have been using these tins for an assortment of gift ideas. This week it has been to hold the dry mix of Dreamy Swiss Mocha Coffee. Add some ribbon, a little card detailing instructions on how to make the coffee, and voila. The perfect gift.
For the store, I like to prepare this in a large slow cooker, and have it simmering all day. I offer this free, as a taste test to indulge the senses. I find this a great selling feature.
As I am getting the cake I made last night ready for display, my first customer walks through the door. I like to make the first customer of the day feel extra special, so I always have a piece of chocolate ready for them to take home along with a rose. This policy has gotten around a bit, and there will be times when it’s a race to the counter in the mornings if a group of ladies walk in.
“Good morning. Thank you for coming in this morning. I have a fresh pot of Swiss Mocha on this morning, please help yourself.” I called out as a greeting. I don’t recognize the woman who walked in, so I know she’s not a regular. It’s quite early this morning for a non-regular to grace Chocolate Blessings.
She gives me a bit of a funny look, but replies nonetheless.
“Thank you. Something definitely smells wonderful. I saw this store last night as we drove into town. I love gourmet coffee, and when I saw your sign, I knew this would be the perfect place to come for my coffee,” my guest replied as she began to walk through the store and examined all the displays and hangings on the walls.
“There is a little corner where the coffee is so you can relax and enjoy your morning treat,” I said as I continued to set up the cake. I take a few peaks at my guest. She is tall, blond and really quite beautiful. I never would have guessed that she liked chocolate. But then, what woman could honestly resist chocolate.
As my guest walks through the store, in walks Tracey sans her children. You could tell she was in the “get me away” mode, for as soon as she walked into the store she took a deep breath, and a sigh of relief escaped her mouth at the same time.
“Hey lady. You look like you need a strong cup of coffee and a special treat to go with it. How about a lemon poppy seed muffin?” I suggest with a smile on my face. She really does look like she needs to get away for a while.
“Wynne. My angel in disguise. Would you mind if I took my muffin, coffee and book and curled myself up in one of your comfy chairs for, oh I don’t know, a few years? Perhaps even decades?” Tracey asks as she pours her coffee.
“Um, no, but I might need to start charging you a sitting fee. Go on over, curl up and enjoy some quiet. I’ll come over in a bit and join you for coffee.”
“Thanks so much. You’re a sweetie. But just to warn you … give me a good half hour or more before you come over. I need that much time just to cool down,” she warned as she headed over to the comfy section of the café.
Tracey and I have been friends forever. I was there when she first met Mike her husband. At the time she was adamant about never marrying a pastor. I think we were both of the same minds. I mean, who would actually want to be married to a man who has to spend more time at the church than at his own home, or else the “sheep” begin to complain. Who not only has to preach a sermon at least three times a week, plus do counseling, plus hospital visits, plus home visits, not to mention the countless hours driving to those visits?
I remember watching our senior pastor’s wife while I was growing up. I always thought that not only did she marry the pastor, but she also married the ministry, and all the headaches associated with it. It would take a special person to do that, and neither Tracey nor myself figured we could do it.
Growing up, Tracey was the type of girl you always looked up to. She was smart, challenging, fun, strong, and always had a goal set out before her. We had made a pact that we would be one of those women who changed the world, not have the world change them. We were going to conquer all that came our way. Someone had once suggested that we both go to Bible College, to get some good training on how to be a perfect wife. Can you imagine the audacity? Instead, I went to college and took English literature. Tracey went on to become an accountant. Blah and boring you might think, but she is a whiz when it comes to numbers. In her second last year she met Mike at a church service.
Long story short, they fell in love, she left me to marry him, never finished her degree and instead began to have babies. When she met Mike, he was finishing his degree at Bible College and had high aspirations of changing today’s youth. Despite all our vows, Tracey became that dreaded pastor’s wife. She was happy though. Surprisingly, motherhood fulfilled a dream within her heart that neither one of us knew she had.
Throughout the past few years she has had more babies, three in total, and I have watched her slowly fall into a depression. She thinks I actually believe her when she tells me it’s the Baby Blues she is experiencing. Normally, I would tend to agree, but this has been going on for a long time. I pray for her, and hope that one day she will open up enough to share what is really going on. Until then, I will be the best friend that I can be by offering her what I know she wants - unlimited chocolate.
While I’m dwelling on my good friend, my unknown customer walks up to the counter. She beams me a smile that I just can’t help but return.
“Wynne, is it?” There was a lyrical tone to her voice, sweet almost. I nodded.
“What a cute store. Perhaps you can help me a little?” She asks while she turned her gaze to the floor and begins to fidget a little bit with her hands.
“I am a guest in someone’s home and I would like to buy her a gift. I’m having a hard time choosing, and was hoping that you might be familiar with her.”
“Not a problem. Perhaps if you told me her name, we can figure out something for her together,” I suggested while she gave me a sheepish look.
“Oh sure, I um, thought you would have known. Sorry. It’s Mrs. Montgomery, Jude’s mother.”
My jaw dropped. I’m sure of it.
“Of course I know Nancy. She was just in here yesterday to tell me Jude was coming home. I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name?” Did that come out too harsh? Too abrupt?
“I’m Stacey. Stacey Lawd. Jude mentioned that you owned a store, but I didn’t realize it was this one.” She said a bit apologetic.
Wait...so she wouldn’t have come in if she actually knew that this was my store?
“I passed by on my walk this morning and just had to stop in. Do you think you can help me find a gift? I think it’s safe to assume that you know Nancy a bit better than I do.” She suddenly turned a nice shade of pink.
While Stacey was mentioning her quest for that perfect gift for Nancy, I couldn’t help but notice the absence of a ring on her finger. Ah, the awkwardness of getting to know the parents. She must still be in the stages of getting Nancy to like her. I do feel for her. It can be quite the daunting task. I was once in her shoes, so I should know.
“Tell you what,” I continued. “Let’s ju
st get all the awkwardness out of the way, shall we? I was once engaged to Jude, broke his heart, he left town and that is all in the past. I’m assuming you are his girlfriend, and it must be pretty serious if he brought you home. Since we have so much in common lets use that as our common purpose and not let all the other garbage get in the way.”
I couldn’t believe I just said that. Talk about bold and daring. But one thing I have learnt over the years if you use honesty to your advantage, you can never go wrong. In this case I figure that if I’ve never met a chocolate I didn’t like, that has to be true for friends as well. Besides, if I just assume everyone I meet will become a good friend, then how can I go wrong?
“That’s a relief, I was a bit nervous, if you couldn’t tell, about meeting you.” Stacey said.
Instead of the awkwardness that surrounded us earlier, it now felt the opposite. She seems like she is a breath of fresh air. I’m already beginning to like her.
“Well, why don’t I give you several ideas, and then let you make the decision. I’ve noticed that she is beginning to collect things that are white. Yesterday she was in and bought a white pitcher with some Gerbera flowers in it. She loves chocolate, stationary and candles.” I list off a few suggestions to her, hoping that she will have already noticed a few items that caught her eye.
“I’m pretty sure that white pitcher with the flowers is now in my room. It’s gorgeous. And I love the flowers. So cheery and bright. What about some of those wall wreaths? Or do you think that might be too inappropriate for right now?” Stacey asked.
“Hmm, I have noticed her admiring them before, but, and this is just my personal suggestion, how about doing up a little basket with a few things in it. That way it’s not too overpowering, and you know she will fawn over it all. We have some vintage milk candlesticks or vases, a few votives, a pad of stationary, perhaps a doily or tea towel for the kitchen. Or it could be a themed basket? Take a look around and let me know if you need any more help,” I suggested. I had a few more customers walk into the store and I need to focus some attention on them.
Chocolate Reality Page 3
