by Gow, Kailin
Fresh and clean, he pulled her into his arms and just reveled in the feel of her skin as the warm water caressed them both. “I love you, Serena,” he murmured into her hair. “Did I hurt you? Are you alright?”
Serena smiled. “If you did, I love you manhandling me. It’s such a turn-on.”
“Everything about you is a turn-on for me,” Sebastian said, kissing her earlobe. He moved to kiss her mouth, which she opened and began sucking on his tongue.
“God, you drive me wild,” Sebastian said. “I want to make love to you every day and every night. I can’t get enough of you.”
Once more aroused, he made love to her, slow and loving as he pinned her to the ceramic wall that surrounded the old, chipped bathtub. He wanted to savor the last moments with her.
“You're going to kill me,” he said as his orgasm drained him of his last ounce of energy.
“You brought it on yourself,” she whispered.
He stepped out of the shower and dried off while she rinsed off the remained of their final union. Reluctant to see their time together come to an end, he returned to the bedroom and slowly got dressed.
When she emerged, nude, and glistened with droplets of water, she checked the bedside clock. “I only have half an hour left before Laura…”
The euphoria of the moment quickly faded as he faced the reality of their relationship. He swallowed the pain and looked at her. “I know.” He reached for her hand and set a gentle kiss in her palm. “That was great.”
“It was.”
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asked again, wanting to be sure.
“No, I loved it. You surprised me.” She pulled on her panties and slipped the mini dress over her head.
“I’m full of surprises.”
“So I see. Tell you the truth I didn’t think you had it in you… that fury, that fire. You're usually so… quiet and gentle. Where did this wild beast come from? I mean…” She hesitated a moment while her guarded eyes focused on the floor. “Is this something you recently picked up?”
He heard the accusation behind the question. Had he slept with anyone new? Shrugging, he chuckled nervously. “I guess the beast has always been there… dormant.”
“You certainly seemed to know what you were doing.”
He shrugged again, fearful of the direction the conversation had taken. “It’s just something I experienced once… a long, long time ago. I was just a teen then and didn’t really appreciate it.” He pressed an innocent smile. “I guess I was too horny no matter what was presented to me and I didn’t understand the need for this kind of thing.”
“And now?”
“I think you bring out that animal in me. You make me feel wild and you make me want to do wild things with you. You make me want to open up and show you all that I am.”
Patting her dress smooth, she looked suspiciously at him. “And who did you experience this wild abandonment with? I’d think there weren’t a lot of teen girls running around letting teen boys dominate them.”
Sebastian buttoned up his shirt and glanced at the clock. “We better hurry before you're late.”
Grinding her teeth together and clenching her fists, Serena glared menacingly at him. “Who, Sebastian?”
He didn’t want the afternoon to end on a bad note. It’d been such an idyllic hour spent with her and he knew his answer would ruin everything. “Please, Serena, let’s not…”
“It’s Willow, isn’t it?”
“Serena.”
“Answer me! Is it Willow?”
“It was such a long time ago.”
Serena grabbed the ice bucket off the desk and hurled it at him. “You just fucked me the way you fucked her?” she shouted.
“No. This had nothing to do with her.”
“Liar. Just like everything that’s come out of your mouth since I first met you is a lie.” Grabbing her purse, she headed to the door.
“Serena, wait. This is crazy. My time with you has nothing to do with Willow.”
“It had everything to do with her. You’re still with her…probably going to marry her!”
“Please, let me bring you home.”
“I’ll take a cab.”
“Please, don’t leave like this. Serena, not like this.”
She turned to face him with venom in her hate filled glare. “You're a pig, Sebastian Sorensen. A real pig.” She stomped out and slammed the door so hard, the picture frame on the wall fell to the worn out stained carpeting.
Chapter 10
“Serena.” Sebastian slammed his palm into the thin door before she could get it open and walk out. “I’m not going to let you leave like this.”
“Great. Are you going to try to prove that you can be just as controlling as Price?”
“Exactly the opposite.” Grasping her shoulders, he turned her around and firmly pushed her back into the door. His gaze softened as he fingered a lock of her hair. “I want to show you that I’m nothing like Price.”
Serena cast her gaze down to the ugly carpeting.
“I want you to look at me, Serena.” He directed her gaze to his. “I want you to see how much I love you. This has nothing to do with Willow. She was my past. And yes, she and I had a physical relationship when we were teens, but now there is nothing. Although she tried, and I suspect she had more to do with my food poisoning and tire slashing, whatever she tries to keep me away from you, it would never work. Why? Because I am madly and crazy in love with you, Serena. Please do not be jealous of Willow. There is nothing there, and please don’t be so angry. Are you so unaccustomed to being love that you don’t know what it looks like?”
“You deliberately hid the truth about your relationship with Willow. I might not know a lot about love, but I know you shouldn’t hide such things.”
“There’s a difference between hiding and not telling. As far as Willow and I are concerned, there’s nothing to tell, Serena. My relationship with her was dead long ago, as I’ve just said. It barely meant anything at the time and it means even less today.”
“Look, either way it hardly matters now. You have your thing with Willow and I have to get back home.”
“To Price,” Sebastian said bitterly. “Why do you continue to subject yourself to Price’s demands?”
“You could never understand, Sebastian. No matter what I tell you, you’ll never understand.”
“Just like you don’t understand about Willow and me? Except I’m not with her, like you are with Price. But tell me why, Serena. Why are you with him? I’m a good listener, and, last time I was tested, my IQ wasn’t all that bad, so try me.”
“This isn’t the sort of thing that is understood by an impressive IQ.”
“Still. Try me. The worse that can happen is you leave here and I still don’t understand why you're with him.”
She inhaled a long, deep breath and tried to find the words that would explain her relationship with Price. “We have a past that runs deep.”
“I’ve let go of my past with Willow, Serena. There’s no reason you can't let go of your past with Price. He has no hold on you. You're free to do as you please.”
She looked pointedly at him. “It pleases me to be with him.”
His jaw tensed and he offered her a conceding nod. “I thought it pleased you to be with me.”
“It does… very much, but it’s not the same thing. My relationship with him is different. I really don’t expect you to understand, Sebastian.”
Sebastian snickered. “You know, making love to you today… I wanted you to know how much I feel for you, how much I care, but I also wanted to show you the side of me that is prepared to do anything to please you. To try new things with you. I know you like it a little rough. I recognized that a while ago, and I have to admit it thrills me as well. I enjoy the sound of my hand against your thigh and I love the look in your eye when I pin you to the wall. Admit it, you were just as intoxicated and turned on as I was.”
“I’ve never denied you turn me on,
Sebastian.”
“The difference between the way Price manhandles you and the way I love you is that we were playing roles, we were both enjoying the game. After the rough sex, I’m able to hold you in my arms and caress you. I can make slow, tender love to you and show you that, while sex is hot and exciting, it is also loving. You may act out the role of the sub for me, but you are the one in control. You are the one dominating me. Can Price do that? I bet he can’t. Price doesn’t really know the meaning of love. What Price knows is control, and that’s what he does to you. Price literally controls your every move, in and out of bed. I know he’s the reason you haven’t been in class this past week, right?”
Serena stared silently at him.
“And I’m willing to bet he’s the reason I’m at USC for the next little while.”
“I’m sorry about that. If I’d known he go this far, I’d have ended it with you sooner.”
Sebastian gave her shoulders a frustrated shake. “For crying out loud, Serena, how far are you going to let him go? End things with me? How about ending things with him? He has you brainwashed into thinking you can’t live without his commands. Look at you. You're no better than a helpless puppy he can just kick around whenever he feels like it.”
“That’s out of line and you know it.”
Sebastian bit his lip and his fingers softened their hold of her shoulders. “I’m sorry. It’s frustrating to see the way he treats you. He drains you of all dignity. You're just a piece of property to him, a piece of property he hardly cares about.” He ran his fingers down the length of her arms and laced his fingers through hers. “You're so much more to me, Serena. You're the woman I love. You're the woman I cherish. You’re talented, beautiful, smart, caring, passionate, loving, and so much more than a sexual object or trophy. Don’t you want to be cherished?”
“You're wrong about Price. He cares about me more than you can imagine, and it may surprise you to learn that he does cherish me. You have no idea what he’s done for me, Sebastian. I’d be nothing today if he hadn’t helped me. I’d be dead.”
“You underestimate yourself.”
“No.” She met his gaze with frank honesty. “I was at the end of my rope when I met him. He literally pulled me out of the gutter and kept me alive. When I was strong enough, he made me a woman. He taught me what it meant to be a woman; a woman who enjoys pleasing a man.”
Sebastian’s eyes widened in surprise.
“I’m sure it all seem so scandalous to someone like you, someone who grew up with plenty of food in his belly and nice clothes on his back. I didn’t have that, and I’ll tell you, I much preferred the life of pleasing a man than starving on the streets. Price taught me the value of my body in every way possible. Men, so easy to entice with only the sway of my hips… they laid down hundreds of dollars just to see me take off a few pieces of clothing. Put on a nice raunchy song, dim the lights and swing your hips as you kick off that dress and they’re putty in your hands.”
Sebastian grimaced. “You…?”
“Danced? Stripped?” She chuckled though the sting of his disgust pained her. “My parents didn’t send me to private school, Sebastian. I didn’t grow up in a privileged neighborhood lined with Porches, Jaguars and Bentleys. I bet the biggest decision you had to make when you were fourteen was whether to have fillet mignon or lobster for dinner; whether to wear Armani or Versace; whether to go to the theater or the ballet. I had to decide whether I was going to go through the trash bin at the hamburger joint or rummage through the garbage container behind the grocery store. I had to decide whether I was going to wear the old, ratty and worn out sneakers I’d found or go barefoot. I’m sorry, Mr. Sorensen, if I didn’t have the luxury of picking and choosing what I could do to survive. I just did what I had to do.”
Dumbfounded, Sebastian just stared at her.
“You see?” She pointed to his face. “That’s why I can’t be with you. That’s why I’m better off with Price.”
“What does that mean?”
“That look of disgust on your face; the disdain. You look down at me from your high perch of million dollar morality and judge me for the choices I made.”
“That’s not true.”
“Look in the mirror, Sebastian. Go have a look and tell me you have an expression of complete understanding and compassion for what I went through. You can’t. You’ll never be able to. Our worlds are so far apart, we may as well be on different planets.”
“And your world is closer to Price’s? To a man who has you sneaking around because you’re not allowed a moment of freedom?”
“Price knows and understands where I come from. He knows what it’s like to be hungry. He also knows the woman I’ve become; the Little White Lily who looks innocent and pure on the outside, but who wants it… wants it all the time, harder, rougher, louder. What I need will only make you more and more uncomfortable, Sebastian. I appreciate the effort you brought today, but I don’t think it’ll be enough.”
“I have so much more where that came from. You said it yourself. You look innocent and pure, and I was reluctant to push for sex that was demanding. Now that I know…”
“I honestly don’t think you're ready to go where Price can.”
In a moment of frustration, Sebastian backed away and raked his fingers through his hair. “Are you honestly going to tell me that you’ve enjoyed every moment you’ve had with Price? Are you going to tell me he hasn’t degraded you? Look at me and tell me you like everything he does to you… everything.”
Serena gazed directly into his eyes and parted her lips to say yes, but the word stuck in her throat. The spectacle Price had made of her the night before; in all honesty, she couldn’t say she was proud of it. In the heat of the moment, she’d been aroused by the dozens of eyes that were mesmerized by her every movement. It had been an invigorating fuck. The moment it was over, however, she’d felt dirty and used. It wasn’t a new sensation. Price had on occasion made her feel cheap and worthless, his way of keeping her in line… but all those men.
“What is it?” Sebastian said.
“Nothing. I have nothing more to say. I have to go.”
“No.” He pulled her closer. “I might not know you the way Price does, but I saw it just then. You did regret something, didn’t you? What did he do to you? What did he make you do?”
“Sebastian, please.” She knew in her heart her refusal to tell him spoke volumes on how she felt about her actions. Price had held private shows before, performing sexual acts in front of a few close friends and colleagues. He got a high from it. On a few occasions, he’d even allowed some of them a tantalizing touch of her breast or the sublime pleasure of her hand on their painful hard on. But the prestigious men who’d been in attendance, who’d watched Price fuck her with the wanton abandon of an animal… What would they think of her when they met in different circumstances? At the ballet or symphony? Would they accept her as a budding music composer, or would they forever scorn her for being so sexually active?
Budding music composer; she almost wanted to laugh at the thought. Who in their right mind would take her music seriously? As she thought of the career she held so dear, a tear streamed down her face.
“What did he do, Serena?” Sebastian’s voice was a tender hush as he ran his thumb across her cheek and swept up her tear. “Did he force himself on you?”
“No. He would never do that. I wanted it, Sebastian. I just didn’t want the whole community to witness it.”
His eyes narrowed with anger and frustration then turned away in disbelief. “What did he do?”
She refused to come straight out and tell him she’d fucked Price in front of a crowd of wealthy and horny men. From the look in his eyes, she knew there was no point telling him anyway. He knew.
For a moment, she considered apologizing, or explaining; anything to wipe the look of pain and disbelief from his eyes. She reached out for his hand, hoping to silently convey her mixed up emotions, but reached for the doorknob
instead. “I really have to…”
Before she could open the door, it swung open with such force, she fell back.
“Vince.”
Looming above her, his massive body blocking out the sunlight, Price’s bodyguard stood with his arms crossed over his imposing chest. “There you are.” He walked into the room, grabbed her arm and yanked her up. “Price wasn’t too happy when he arrived early and found you weren’t at the suite.”
“I was just…”
“Yeah.” The big man glanced at Sebastian. “I can just imagine what you were…”
For a terrified moment, she feared he’d hurt Sebastian.
“Who’s the dashing gentleman?”
Serena seamlessly brought out her silly and ditsy girly routine. “Really. Vince. It’s not what it looks like. This is my professor, Sebastian Sorensen. It’s all really simple. You see, I’ve had a crush on him since, like forever. I mean really, since my very first class with him. Thing is, he’s refused my advances since day one. Can you imagine the nerve? I was so upset and insulted that I lured him here to seduce him. Look at me. Aren’t I attractive enough?”
Vince barely met her gaze. “You sure are, Miss Singleton.”
“Well, then can you believe he still refused to touch me.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I just don’t want you to think he had anything to do with all this. I’m so embarrassed by the whole thing, you know, getting rejected and all, but, you know how I am. I’m insatiable and I just let the flirt in me take over. Please don’t take it out on him.”
Vince shot her a disbelieving glance then looked at Sebastian. “I can certainly understand your attraction. He is a looker.”
Surprised by his comment, she went on, “so you understand why I have such a crush, right?”
