by Seton, Cora
“There’s no time,” Austin said, feeling like he was drowning. “I’d have to get Ella pregnant in the next two weeks. We haven’t discussed having kids so soon.” He expected to Ella to jump in and back him up, but she looked thoughtful.
“Well, why not?” Regan looked from one to the other. “You two want kids, don’t you?”
Austin felt cornered. He began to wonder how long Regan had been plotting this ambush.
“Of course we do,” Ella said suddenly. “If you need us to have a child right now, the least we can do is try.”
Austin opened his mouth to protest, but Ella took his hand and squeezed it. “Sure thing,” he managed to say. “No time like the present.” But he knew there was no way he was having a kid. Not with Ella. Not with anyone.
* * *
“I should have known this is where we’d find them,” Regan said. After lunch was over, she and Ella had shooed the men away and cleaned up the dishes before wandering out back to see where they’d gotten to. They’d followed Mason and Austin’s voices to the edge of the woods to find the men about halfway through the obstacle course. They were shouting insults at each other like a couple of little boys. It was good to hear Austin’s laughter, Ella thought. He was so serious most of the time.
“I guess it’ll get a lot of use. I don’t think I could do half these obstacles.” Ella worked hard to sound cheerful. There had been an awkward moment with Regan when she’d spilled the beans that she and Austin were renovating the bunkhouse, and Regan hadn’t been able to hide her dismay. Ella realized too late that the other woman had painted and fixed up the Hall’s interior during the weeks before her marriage to Mason. Though there was much more to do, she’d been very proud of all that she’d accomplished and she was hurt that Ella and Austin wanted to move out. Ella had backpedaled fast to undo the damage, but she was afraid Regan would think she was a stuck-up snob.
Regan got a private smile on her face. “You might be surprised.”
“You’ve run it?” Ella was surprised. Dainty Regan didn’t look like a candidate for a course like this.
“Mason and I ran it together, actually. It was fun.” A grin tugged at her mouth again. Ella felt a pang, understanding the subtext. They’d run it together, huh? Maybe partway. Judging by Regan’s expression she’d bet they’d gotten distracted during their race in the nicest of ways. She wished she shared a memory like that with Austin. It seemed like Regan and Mason had fun no matter what they did, but while she and Austin had tons of fun when they slept together, in between times they weren’t always sure how to act toward each other, and that was confusing. In fact, Austin’s behavior was confusing all around. She knew he liked her. He was definitely attracted to her. They got along fine no matter what they did. Still, Austin held back from her. Something was worrying him—she just didn’t know what.
A few moments later the men pounded across the finish line, their shirts soaked with sweat, their voices loud as each of them proclaimed himself the winner.
“Mason got it this time,” Regan said.
“What? You’ve got to be joking!” But Austin still smiled as he walked in a circle to recover his breath.
Regan moved closer to her husband. “Ella showed me the bunkhouse.”
Mason pulled her in close to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. She wrinkled her nose, but didn’t protest, even though his shirt looked damp with sweat. “Austin showed me too,” he said. “You okay with the arrangements?”
“At first I wasn’t,” she admitted, “but Ella is doing a really good job in there. And if she gets pregnant in the next couple of weeks, I’ll forgive her anything.”
“I love what you’ve done to the Hall,” Ella rushed to say, grateful for the opportunity to clarify her position and mend some fences. “It’s a gorgeous house—I didn’t move out because I didn’t like it. I just need privacy. A lot of it, I’m afraid. The last decade has left me wary of people, and wary of being photographed. I need somewhere I can totally be at ease.” She wanted so badly for Regan and Mason to understand. The other couple nodded, but she sensed them pulling back.
“That’s okay. When Zane moves home and finds a wife there will be plenty of people living in the Hall.” Mason gave Regan a squeeze. “And soon there’ll be kids running around, too. Right, Austin?”
Ella darted a look at Austin, who was struggling to hide his discomfort. Luckily, Regan didn’t seem to notice. She smiled at Ella—a genuine smile. “I sure hope so.”
Heat climbed into Ella’s cheeks. Regan wouldn’t smile like that if she knew she was being tricked. As much as Ella wanted children, she knew she wouldn’t get to have them with Austin.
Or could she?
She’d planned to simply be careful with Austin and announce in a few weeks that she hadn’t gotten pregnant. With a two week window, it was doubtful they’d succeed even if they tried.
But what if she did get pregnant? She’d always wanted a child and time was wasting. She had plenty of money and nothing else to do this year except hang out on the ranch. She had a man willing to sleep with her, even if that was the extent of his commitment. They could make another deal like the one they already had in place. Austin could help her get pregnant. When they divorced she’d take her baby with her.
“I think I’ll get back to work on the chicken coop,” she said out loud, determined to get away where she could think things through.
“I got the paint you asked for. It’s in the tool shed,” Austin said.
“Chicken coop?” Regan sounded interested.
“I’m sprucing it up. Austin said we could get baby chicks.”
Regan linked her arm through Ella’s. “I’ve always wanted baby chicks. Would you show me the paint?”
Chapter 17
‡
“Your color scheme met with approval?” Austin asked Ella an hour later when he met her at the coop. He’d been relieved when he saw Regan walk back to the Hall where Mason met her. Hopefully the newlyweds would take a well-earned nap and relax for the rest of the day before rejoining them for dinner. He wanted time alone with Ella.
“Seeing as all I did was match the color of the Hall the best I could, there wasn’t much for her to object to.” Ella sat back on her heels, paint brush in hand. She was coating the chicken coop with a weathered gray paint.
“Does that mean you two are getting along?”
Ella chuckled. “Yeah, we are. I think Regan really wanted us to live in the Hall, but she’s coming around.”
“Mason and I will move the bed into the bunkhouse by nightfall.”
“Great.” She smiled up at him.
Austin considered his next words carefully. “We never discussed children.”
“We never discussed much of anything, if you think about it.”
“Maybe we better start.”
She leaned forward to dab more paint on the coop, revealing a swell of breast under the scoop neck of her T-shirt. With her baseball cap on and her hair pulled in a ponytail through the back, she looked like any other country girl around these parts, except for her luminous beauty.
Since she hadn’t responded, he figured it was up to him. “I never planned to have kids.”
“Why not?”
Her expression was inscrutable. Austin thought about her question. “Being in the Special Forces is dangerous. I know what it’s like to lose a father. I wouldn’t put a child through that—or a wife.”
“That makes sense. I’d given up on kids myself. If I’d taken off time from my career for pregnancies and births, I would have missed too many scripts. I wouldn’t have gotten as far as I have. And Anthony didn’t want them.”
“But now you’re done with acting. And with Anthony.” He shifted nearer, restless as usual when he heard the actor’s name.
“And you’re done with soldiering.”
He nodded. That still felt strange to acknowledge, but it was true. “Have you changed your mind?”
She held very still for
a long time, as if checking in with her body to find the answer to that. “Yes.”
“Yes?” Austin was unprepared for a prickle of excitement that brought his body on alert. Hadn’t he just told himself there was no way he would have kids?
“Yes, as long as we can make a deal. Think about it this way. If I can get pregnant right away, then no one will question our marriage—including Heloise. Once Heloise signs over the deed next year, we’ll get divorced and the baby and I will go on our way.”
“What? Hold on now.” Austin straightened. He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. She thought he’d knock her up and then let her walk away—just like that? What kind of man did she think he was?
The kind who entered into a marriage of convenience, he supposed. After all, he’d had no problem with that deception. Still, her assumption rankled.
“It’ll be hard, though. Leaving.” She stopped painting.
“Why?”
“You really have to ask?” She glanced up at him. “Maybe you do.” She dipped her brush in the paint and got back to work, her movements jerky.
Austin didn’t know what to say. “I don’t want to be like this,” he managed to say. “But I can’t…”
“I know.” She stood up. “I understand that you’ve been through something that’s left you unwilling to get close to a woman. I thought I’d never want to get close to a man again, either. Now I’m not so sure. But one thing I do know is that when I get married for real it will need to be all or nothing, Austin. Maybe…” She faltered. “Maybe you and I could… fall in love. But when our time here is up, unless you can be the kind of husband Mason is to Regan and unless I can be the kind of wife she is to him, then I’ll leave with the baby and you and I won’t have any more contact. I can’t have you coming and going in my life. In our lives.”
She was trembling, Austin saw. This was important to her. It occurred to him she had changed since they first met. Back then she’d been in shock—horrified by what her fiancé had done to her—but away from Hollywood she was beginning to realize she still wanted love, marriage and even kids. He was beginning to think he might want them too, but not until he paid his debt to Donovan. He owed his friend… something. He’d thought it was his happiness. Now he wasn’t entirely sure. Meanwhile, he was holding Ella back—and would continue to do so for at least nine more months. Why shouldn’t she get a child out of the bargain if that’s what she really wanted?
“You want a baby?”
She nodded. “I do. No matter what happens between us, I do. It’s time for me to move forward with my life—with or without a man.”
He turned that over in his mind. If she didn’t have a child with him, she’d have one with someone else. He felt too possessive of her to allow that.
“Okay.”
“Okay, what?” she asked.
“Let’s have a baby.” To hell with the consequences. He’d sort that out later. Ella was not going to be with another man.
“Really?”
“Hell, yeah.”
She tossed the paintbrush aside and flung her arms around his neck, kissing him squarely on the mouth. “Thank you!”
A surge of raw want raced through his body.
“Where are we going?”
Austin hadn’t realized he was pulling Ella along toward the bunkhouse, his long strides eating up the ground. She had to jog to keep up with him.
“No time like the present.”
“But—”
He stopped so abruptly she slammed into him. “Are you in or out?”
She stared at him, wide-eyed. “I—I—in.”
That was all he needed to hear. He picked her up, tossed her over his shoulder and nearly dashed the last yards to the bunkhouse. Their bed was still in the bedroom they’d used in the Hall. They hadn’t bought any other furniture yet. There was nothing to soften the hard floor. Austin scanned the building in frustration.
“Take your clothes off.”
Ella rolled her eyes. “Yes, sir.”
“Take them off.” He began to strip down himself, leading the way into the bedroom. He arranged his shirt and pants on the floor, added hers to the pile. It wasn’t much but it would have to do. He hoped to god Mason and Regan were taking a good long nap safely within the Hall. With no curtains on the windows, they’d get an eyeful if one of them chanced by.
Ella stood before him in her bra and panties, her breasts swelling sweetly over the lacy cups, the curve of her hips beckoning to him. He lowered himself to the floor and pulled her down to lay on top of him, deciding to bear the brunt of the hard surface. It was the gentlemanly thing to do.
It didn’t hurt that he loved the sway of her breasts as she leaned down to kiss him. He captured her mouth with his and raised a hand to curve around one, lifting it to feel its generous weight in his hand. He ran his thumb over the soft skin above the lacy line of the garment and Ella sighed. When he slid his hands around her back to undo its clasp, she quickly wriggled out of it.
Austin took a moment to savor the sight before he took one breast, then the other, into his mouth and showed them his appreciation. Ella closed her eyes and parted her lips, letting him know exactly how good he was making her feel. That knowledge turned him on as much as the thought of making her pregnant did. He wanted to take his time with their lovemaking, but the sheer sexiness of Ella’s response to his touch made it hard to wait, as usual.
She straddled him, grinding her core against his hardness. He’d already stripped off his boxers and the dampness of the scrap of fabric between her legs had him pushing against her, eager to gain entry. He tried to take his time, skimmed his hands all over her curves, down her back, over and around to cup her ass and pull her tighter, and up again, but neither of them were prepared to take it slow.
Not this time.
Ella kissed him, hooked her thumb under the waist of her panties, then shucked them off, never breaking contact. This involved several writhing motions, her breasts slapping against his chest in the most delightful way, and a fantastic view of her derriere as she arched over him and lifted it high to untangle her legs from the fabric. When she’d tossed them away, she sat back down and her damp heat against his hardness instantly brought every nerve in his body alight.
“You sure about this?” she asked, looking like a fertility goddess, all naked, lush and beautiful.
“Definitely.”
He’d never been more sure about anything in his life. He took hold of her hips, but Ella pulled back. Was she having second thoughts?
“What is it?”
“It’s just—” She bit her lip.
Austin wasn’t sure he could wait to be inside her. “What?”
“I want something different.”
Something—Austin understood. “A different position?” Did she really feel shy asking for that when they’d been together so many times? “You can tell me—I bet I’ll say yes.”
“I want you to take me… from behind.”
Heat flooded through Austin, leaving him rock hard and aching with the need to fulfill her wish. He sat up, spilling her off his lap and quickly lifting her so he could move into position behind her. He braced one hand on her hip to hold her steady, and used the other to make sure she was ready for him. When his fingers found her warm, wet center, he knew he had nothing to worry about.
He pressed himself against her and Ella let out an unsteady breath. Austin held back, letting her anticipation build. When she shot a look of pure desperation over her shoulder, he pressed forward and sunk himself home.
They started slowly, Ella pressing back against the rhythm of his strong strokes. The view this position gave him was spectacular. Watching Ella writhe under his touch, watching himself move in and out of her had him straining to hold back. He pumped harder and Ella moaned. He increased his pace. Ella had tossed off any inhibitions she once might have harbored and when he sped up his motions, she allowed him to plunder her thoroughly, savagely and completely until she cried out
in a climax that had her arching her back and moaning with her release.
Austin soon followed her, bucking against her uncontrollably as he went over the edge in a mindless rush. When they collapsed together, he thought nothing could ever top the sensation of his bare skin against hers. Joining with her without the barrier of a condom between them was a miracle all on its own.
“You realize we’re going to have to do this morning, noon and night for the next few weeks. We have to make sure you have a real shot at getting pregnant.”
“Of course. I’m looking forward to it.” Ella rested her head on his chest, her silky hair spilling over both of them, and Austin just managed to stifle a groan.
He was looking forward to it, too.
* * *
Several days later, late in the afternoon, Ella found a quiet spot around the far side of the Hall from the outbuildings where Austin and Mason were working. They’d moved the bed from the Hall’s second floor to the bunkhouse the night Mason and Regan had arrived, and in the intervening time had gone on to make other fixes around the ranch. Regan was in the Hall’s kitchen now, preparing a dinner for all four of them. She’d assured Ella there would be a vegetarian option, but when Ella offered to help, she shooed her away, saying she was happiest when she was cooking alone.
Ella had been more than happy to leave her to it. She needed time to think. Trying to get pregnant had certainly galvanized her and Austin’s sex life. She’d thought they’d been pretty passionate before, but both quality and quantity had improved with their new goal. Austin had proved to be an inventive and skilled lover. She was pretty sure he’d ruined her for other men. Still, that distance remained between them. If she’d hoped he’d open up once they were together more, she’d have been disappointed.
She asked Austin once why he was so eager to make love to her if he didn’t want to be a father. “I thought you didn’t want kids.”
“I thought so, too.”
“But now…”
“Nothing’s changed. I’m not fit for marriage or fatherhood,” he said and kissed her to take the sting of his words away. “It’s just thinking about doing it—about making you pregnant—gets me hot. It doesn’t make any sense.”
