by Mary Nealy
“The day’s catching up to me. I’ve got to get to bed.” The thought of walking up four flights was almost more than he could stand, but the elevator wasn’t reliable, and he had no wish to spend an hour or two stuck between floors.
They told him good night. He walked away from the only friends he had—men who, if they succeeded in the mission, went away and if they failed, went away. As he climbed he thought of that moment when he’d touched Keren while handing over his coffee cup.
That touch made him realize that he was terribly lonely.
He showered and donned a clean pair of sweatpants and another Lighthouse T-shirt then sank into his bed, feeling sleep claim him as he lay his head on the pillow.
The nightmare bloomed instantly to life, jerking him awake. The day played through his head. He tossed and turned half the night, with the autopsy grinding its way into every cell in his brain. When he dozed off, he had nightmares about what LaToya might be going through right now.
It was almost merciful when he was awakened by pounding. He staggered out of his bedroom to answer his door, more exhausted than when he’d gone to bed.
He yanked the door open and saw Keren and O’Shea. Two other men stood in the hallway behind them. His stomach twisted. “You found LaToya.”
Keren shook her head and the lopsided bun she always wore bobbed dangerously on her head. She held up a sheet of paper from her notebook. It said, “Shut up.”
She jerked her head toward the door. He was obviously expected to follow.
Paul’s living quarters shared this floor with the mission offices. She didn’t speak, just waved her hand at him to follow. O’Shea stayed behind with the other policemen and Paul didn’t even ask why. It didn’t fit with the “Shut up” sign.
They jogged down the narrow flights of stairs, past the men’s shelter on the third floor, past his newest project, a teen center on the second floor. The eating area, which also doubled as the church, was on the ground floor. The jog felt like someone was beating on his chest with a baseball bat instead of stabbing him with a knife. Sad to say, it was a big improvement.
There was a women’s shelter in the basement for a few of their special residents. That area was carefully locked away from the men. Even Paul wasn’t allowed down there. The women residents had suffered so much at the hands of men that many of them were incapable of relating to them in any healthy way, even with their minister. In order to make them feel safe enough to trust the Lighthouse Mission, their separation from men had to be absolute. They even had a separate dining room and their own church services led by nuns from the nearby Catholic church. Paul knew he should really move the women’s facility to another building. Rosita had taken over a lot of that part of the mission, along with other women volunteers.
Paul was already breathing hard when he and Keren reached the ground floor. Keren went straight outside and he followed, hurrying to catch up. With every step, he was reminded of the beating he’d taken in the explosion. He caught her arm before she could lead him on a 10K power walk.
“Hey.” He dragged her to a stop. “Have mercy, Keren. I’m about all in. Unless we need to go farther for whatever it is you want.”
Keren’s black pantsuit was rumpled. Her white blouse was untucked. Her hair was making a break for it. “Sorry, even with the stitches, I forget you’re hurt. It’s been a mean few days for you, hasn’t it?”
“It’s okay, the walk was just getting to me after the stairs.” Paul resisted holding on to his aching ribs. “What made you come charging in on me this morning?”
“O’Shea and I decided the guy knew too much about you. How’d he pick Juanita and LaToya to hurt? He obviously knows you well enough to know them. It figures he’s been watching you. We wondered just how closely. O’Shea’s checking for listening devices.”
Paul’s breathing slowed until he decided he was going to live. “This is an age where mothers plant bugs and hide cameras so they can monitor their babysitters.”
“That’s right, so bugs and miniature cameras are easy to buy and install. The bugs can be tucked into couch cushions, slipped under a loose flap of wallpaper, hidden inside electrical appliances, air ducts—even sewn into the lining of clothing.”
Paul looked down at the sweatpants he’d slept in and his white T-shirt with the mission logo. “You think they could be in these clothes?”
“Do you just have one outfit you wear day and night?” Keren studied his clothes.
Paul knew it looked a lot like the one he’d worn yesterday. “No, I have several.”
“That are all the same?” A smile quirked Keren’s lips. “Although your sweatpants yesterday were black and these are dark gray. Sorry, I didn’t notice.”
Considering the situation, Paul was real glad she was amused. “I don’t know where anyone could hide a bug in my clothes.”
“A bug or a tracking device.” All the amusement faded from her expression. “We’re checking everything.”
“Tracking device?”
“Well, you said he told you he was watching then sent you running. And he obviously knew when you got to the house, because he blew it up.”
Paul looked up at the buildings that surrounded him. “He could be renting one of a thousand apartments right here. I just figured he meant he’d be able to see me part of the time. That I wouldn’t know when he was there and when not.”
“We’ll be thorough. “With a confident jerk of her chin, Keren said, “If there’s a listening or tracking device anywhere, including in your clothes, we’ll find it.”
“It never occurred to me he might be tracing me electronically. I guess I’ve succeeded in my goal to stop thinking like a cop.” Paul grimaced. “Which is good. I did a lot of damage when I was on the force.”
“I saw your arrest record, your caseload, your solve rate, and your commendations.” Keren dragged her hair tie out and twisted her escaping corkscrew curls tight then anchored it again, all with such automatic movements she didn’t seem aware of it. “You did a lot of good.”
“Yeah, I was a good cop. A great cop. I took every ounce of credit that was due me, and I grabbed a bunch I didn’t deserve.
And while I was so busy being a great cop, my wife kicked me out of the house. It was the second time we’d been separated because I spent all my time working, and when I was home, I took all my anger out on her.”
“Are you divorced? You mentioned a wife yesterday, but it’s pretty obvious she isn’t living in that apartment with you.”
“My wife and my only daughter were killed just before I quit the force.”
“Oh, Paul.” Her voice softened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. We’ve been going over your cases, but I haven’t done any checking into your personal background yet.”
Paul thought she sounded more than sorry. She sounded like she felt guilty about something. Just another mystery surrounding Keren’s attitude toward him. “My daughter, Hannah, was four. Trish and I were separated. She accused me of having an affair, but it wasn’t true. The cheating I did was with work. That was my first priority. I was supposed to be with them that night at a preschool program. I was hoping it would be the first step to a reconciliation.” Paul paused for a long time. “Anyway, a case blew up in my face. You know, life and death. Vitally important.”
“I know,” Keren said.
“They got to the program without me. Heaven knows Trish had learned to do everything without me. On their way home, her car broke down; her cell phone must have been dead. They were walking along a deserted stretch of highway when they were killed. The man who hit them, he called the ambulance. He did more for them than I did.” Paul didn’t see any reason to spare himself from the hard truth. “I was awful to him in the hospital. Months later, after I’d become a Christian, I went looking for him, to apologize. But he was dead. I couldn’t ask him to forgive me any more than I could ask Trish and my little Hannah.” Keren snagged his arm and led him on down the cracked sidewalk in one of the tough
est neighborhoods in Chicago. She moved at a pace Paul could handle.
“I spent the night after the funeral sitting alone in my empty house, staring at my .38.”
Keren gasped and held his arm tighter.
“I thought about pulling the trigger,” Paul said. He fell silent. At last he said, “It was the most awful feeling of hopelessness. The guilt, the anger. I had so many regrets. I was a pathetic excuse for a human being at that time in my life. In the depths of the darkest night of my life, I asked God why a jerk like me deserved to live.”
Paul looked over at Keren and smiled. “And He answered me, Keren. Not out loud, but clearly, from inside myself. It was unmistakable. It was the purest, most beautiful moment of my life.” He ran his hands through his hair.
“It was so clear and strong that it always anchors me. God told me that if I didn’t want the life He’d given me, then give it away. Give it to someone who needed it. The call God gave me to the ministry was a miracle. Jesus Christ saved my soul that night along with my life. I went to Bible college and ended up being led by God to quit after a couple of years. The old man who’d run the Lighthouse Mission died and it was going to close. Pastor Bob. There were some shoes that were hard to fill.” Paul stopped and looked back at the old building.
“I really believe I’ve done some good here. I’ve found peace and, most of the time, I forgive myself for who I used to be.”
Paul saw some of Keren’s antagonism ebb away.
“I know how tough it is to be a cop and have a home life at the same time,” she said.
“But you’re a Christian, Keren. I wasn’t when I got married. If you married another Christian and the two of you made sincere vows before God, you’d keep those vows. You wouldn’t end up with a broken home.”
“I’ve seen it happen too many times. God needs good people battling evil the same as He needs good people doing mission work. I thought at first I could have it all. I was wrong.” She quirked a smile. “It’s been surprisingly easy to avoid. Not that many guys want a woman who can beat them up.”
Paul smiled. Then, as he thought about what she’d said, his smile faded. “But you’re so beautiful. I don’t believe you don’t have men chasing you.”
Keren looked at him, and, for just an instant, he could see her entirely. See the peace in her soul and the burning quest for justice in her heart. It was a glorious sight. He reached up and laid his hand on her cheek and marveled at her flawless skin. He let those light blue-gray eyes that flashed humor and temper in almost equal parts wash over him.
“You seem so familiar. I must have met you when we were both detectives.” He caressed a curl that had made a prison break. “You don’t remember—”
A door slammed behind him. “Pastor P, you gonna be around for services t’night?”
Paul guiltily dropped his hand.
Rosita bounced toward them, her long black hair dangling over her shoulder in a smooth shining braid, her black eyes flashing humor and youth. In her tight, faded blue jeans and Lighthouse Mission T-shirt, she made Paul feel old and awkward, touching Keren’s hair like some flirting, addle-headed teenager.
Rosita almost blinded them with her perky smile. “Murray’s doin’ okay, but it’s not as good as when you’re there. He’s got Buddy and Louie helping him, and I’ve got a few women picking up the slack in the kitchen, but we need you to come and order us around.”
He thought of LaToya. How could he have wasted a second on anything else? He wheeled away from Keren, grateful for the interruption. “Murray’s going to have to keep doing it for a while. If you run into trouble, call Father Estrada. He’ll take up the slack. Rosita, come here and meet Detective Collins. She’s helping us look for the man who kidnapped LaToya.”
Rosita’s eyes lost their sparkle as she looked at Keren. “It’s the same one that killed Juanita, isn’t it?”
“We’re afraid it is,” Keren said. “And, Rosita, we don’t think he’s done yet. You and all the other women in this neighborhood need to be extremely careful. You mustn’t ever be out alone, day or night. We’ve increased police patrols in the area, and if you ever need a ride, you call a cop. In fact”—Keren pulled a card out of her purse—”call me if you can’t get anyone else to help you.”
“I live in the mission,” Rosita said, taking the card.
“And you never, ever go out alone?” Keren asked.
“Well, almost never.” Rosita glanced at Keren and away. “Sometimes I got things to do, you know.”
“Rosita,” Keren said with stern caution, “we have reason to believe these killings maybe connected to Pastor P or this mission, since both women who died came from here.”
“But they were gone. It’s not the same as me livin’ inside.”
“Rosita, promise me you’ll be careful.”
Rosita shrugged. “Sure.”
“Paul, say something.” Keren glared at him.
For some reason that made him want to smile. “Rosita,” Paul said, “promise me.” He didn’t add anything else.
Rosita gave him a mutinous look, then, with a huff of displeasure, she said, “I have a date with Manny tonight. I need to walk a few blocks to catch a bus.”
“What time?” Paul asked.
“It’s a six-o’clock bus.”
“I’ll be here at five thirty to walk with you, and you make Manny meet you at the other end and ride back with you and walk you every step of the way back to the mission.”
Rosita bloomed with pleasure. “You’d do that for me, Pastor P? Just so I can keep my date?”
“Manny’s a good boy, Rosie. I don’t blame you for wanting to spend time with him.”
Rosita smiled and deep dimples appeared in her cheeks.
“I said he’s a good boy, but he’s still a boy. Remember what I said, Rosita, about getting too close too fast.”
“It’s not like I’m exactly a virgin, Pastor P. You of all people know that.”
Keren’s body jerked just a little. Paul looked at her, but he couldn’t read her expression.
Rosita apparently had no trouble. “That’s not what I meant.” She rested a hand on Keren’s arm. “There’s nothin’ like that between the pastor and me. Never has been.”
Paul looked closer. Keren had that detached cop expression on her face.
“I was hooking for crack when I met Pastor P. That’s how he knows. He pulled me off the street. He saved me.”
“I didn’t save you, Rosita. Only God can save you. Now don’t change the subject. You watch Manny,” Paul scolded.
“Manny cares about me.”
“If he doesn’t care enough about you to wait for marriage, then he doesn’t care enough about you.”
“I guess that makes sense,” Rosita said with a pout. Then her grin escaped, and Paul knew she was teasing him. “Manny behaves himself, I see to it.”
“Good girl. If you explain things to him, he’ll insist on bringing you home.” Paul reached into his pocket and pulled a ten-dollar bill out. He pressed it into her hand. “Now, no excuses. This will cover the bus ride for both of you.”
Rosita clutched the ten dollars to her chest. “Thank you, Pastor P.” With a bright smile, she whirled toward the mission.
The two of them watched her run. Keren said dryly, “Can you remember ever being that young?”
“I had a paper route from the time I was nine. I worked nights all through high school. I entered the police academy when I turned eighteen and went to night school to get a degree. I don’t think I was ever young.”
Keren took a deep breath. “We’ve got to get back to your apartment. The FBI is sending someone over to inspect the place better than we can, and if they find bugs, they’ll try to trace them. They’re bringing in a profiler from DC. We’ll break this case. We’ll get this lunatic.”
Paul shoved his hands in his pockets so he wouldn’t do something stupid like touch Keren again. “In time to save LaToya?”
They headed back to the building
. Keren said, “Hey, how come she can call you Pastor P and I can’t call you Rev?”
“It’s all in the inflection.”
Keren smiled and something passed between them. A moment of uncomplicated peace.
His phone rang.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Pravus leaned close with his fine brush. Details, he loved the tiny details. He imagined how the monks had labored over their translation of the Bible. They’d written it in Latin of course, God’s language.
Opening a vein was like breathing life into dust and making a living being. Pravus could feel it, that he was godlike in his creation, and in his power over life and death. The white dress, virginal covering for the foul sinners he chose. It made the perfect backdrop for his art. To protect his work he’d used brown ink for Juanita, since his plans included getting her very wet. But for the rest of them, he’d paint with his victim’s blood.
A tremor of excitement shook his hand and he pulled away quickly, terrified he’d ruined it. He hadn’t. There was a bit of a waver in the line he’d made, but it was right. It was beautiful. He looked at what he’d done, and he smiled. Pharaoh was a fool. Powerful, but so sure he ruled his little world that he didn’t even know the end was coming.
Paul Morris was such a man. Thought he was powerful. Wouldn’t let the people go. Ran his little kingdom just like he’d run the police department.
Once his hand stilled, Pravus found again that center of peace and power he’d learned at his father’s knee. He’d been taught with the end of a belt to sit still and create.
Father would be so proud.
A few more details. A flourish on the words that made his heart sing. LaToya’s veins provided the life in this work of genius. He stepped back.
“It is good.” His elation was so great he strode to the window to throw it open and shout. He didn’t, of course. He wouldn’t waste his words on a world too ignorant to understand him. Then he looked down to where he always watched and almost laughed aloud.
