“It wasn’t just Jimmy Bernard who was taking money from the Latin Devils.”
“Marris was.” She couldn’t believe it. She stared out the window at the tops of trees rushing by as they left the city outskirts behind and climbed into the mountains. It seemed everyone she respected, everyone she trusted…she shook her head. “Can you prove it this time, Seth?”
“We have a lot more evidence against Marris. He was the original target of this investigation, before we knew Jimmy was involved. If it wasn’t for Gayle Rodgers and then Jimmy getting killed, Marris would already be charged.”
Was it possible? Could Marris be the one who was lying? And if so, how far did that lying go? Was he the one who told those gangster wannabes where to find Jimmy? Did he pay them to take out a friend in order to save his own hide? Was Marris or his remaining two hit men behind the wheel of that SUV?
She knew she was jumping to conclusions. She didn’t know what Calhoun had on Marris. It could be twice what he had on Jimmy, and that still wouldn’t add up to much.
She had to get things straight if she was going to figure out what to do next. “What about Calhoun? Did Jimmy write him up, damage his career?”
“That part is true.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that before?”
“It has nothing to do with the investigation.”
“How can you say that? It has to color his view of Jimmy.”
“It was a long time ago, Melissa. Calhoun’s career is back on track. Everything’s going well for him. Why would he risk it all now to get revenge against a dead man?”
He had a point. Still she sensed a rabidness in Calhoun that would be perfectly explained by a personal grudge. “Emotional things like that aren’t always logical. How can you be sure he wouldn’t bend the truth a little to get some payback. Maybe he doesn’t see how it will hurt.”
“He wouldn’t bend the truth, because I wouldn’t let him get away with it. If you’re right, and he has a little extra motivation, I can’t see how that’s bad.”
Maybe Marris was crooked, but he was right about Seth. The man was playing it all ways, making sure no matter what happened with this case, he would smell pretty in the end.
Static fuzzed in her ear. “Hello?”
A crackle or two more, and Seth’s voice was back. “Is that all you have?”
“I was wondering if you could have someone run a license number for me.”
Nick’s head snapped toward her. His brows rose in a silent question.
She nodded. She’d only been able to see the first three digits, but a partial and a description of the SUV was better than nothing. “Colorado plates.”
“This has something to do with Raymond?”
“It would be helpful. That’s all.” Maybe she should have called someone else. The last thing she wanted to do was deal with a grilling from Seth. Especially since she might lose phone service at any time. But with the strain between the D.A.’s office and the police that this investigation business had caused, she wasn’t sure she could get the quick results she needed unless she went through her own office.
As if to underscore the urgency, static hissed over the phone once again.
“You need to give me more than that.”
“It was a red SUV, a Honda. 462 is all I caught.”
Nick gave her a smile, and she returned it.
“That’s not what I mean by more.”
“It tried to run us down. Is that what you want to know?”
“Tried to run you…us…when did this happen?”
“Right after we talked to Marris.”
“Marris? Damn.”
Apparently it occurred to Seth that Marris might be behind that wheel, as well. “What are you going to do, Seth?”
The connection fuzzed again. When it came back, Seth’s voice rang firm and commanding. “…to quit fooling around, Melissa. Get Raymond and his son in here immediately.”
“I’ve tried, Seth. He doesn’t want any part of protective custody, and I have to say, I can understand where he’s coming from.”
Nick nodded, glancing from the road to her and back.
“You can understand? When he and the kid are dead, will you understand then?”
Melissa’s throat closed. She looked at Nick, glanced out of the corner of her eye at Jason in the backseat. This was enough. They couldn’t risk their lives any longer. She couldn’t risk them. Seth was right about that.
“Are you there?” Seth growled through another batch of static.
“Yes.”
“Get him in here now. Him and the boy.”
“I…” She met the glance from Nick. “…he doesn’t know who to trust, Seth. You’ve got to admit, things are pretty confusing.”
“He might be confused. But you damn well shouldn’t be. Get Raymond and the boy in here. If they aren’t in protective custody by tomorrow, you no longer have a job.”
Chapter Fifteen
It only took Melissa a minute to find the place where Jimmy had stashed his first-aid kit. She pulled out the collection of equipment and bandages and whatnot that probably rivaled that of some small-town clinics from one of the few kitchen cabinets and set to work on Nick’s arm.
“What, did he plan to open a hospital?”
Melissa forced a chuckle, despite the tremor inside her chest that had only grown since talking to Seth. “Tammy is a nurse. She made sure he was well supplied.”
From all she could tell, Nick’s bone wasn’t broken badly. The bone didn’t seem to be protruding, anyway. She was a little coarse when it came to setting broken bones. But even Nick himself, who had a lot more experience tending to the wounds of animals, thought it wasn’t bad. She strapped it into the soft cast and spilled a couple of painkillers onto her palm. “Take these.”
“No thanks. I don’t like the way they make me feel.”
“You’re going to like the pain of a broken arm even less.”
“It’s not so bad.”
Right. He turned pale every time she’d moved it to adjust the cast. “It’ll get worse. Your body is probably still pumping a good amount of adrenaline. When that wears off, you’ll wish you’d taken these.”
“Okay. Fine.” He held out a hand and she gave him the pills, followed by a glass of water.
So far so good on her quest to take care of Nick and his son. She waited until after they ate another one of Tammy’s casseroles and Nick tucked Jason safely into bed before she brought up the rest.
A fire crackling in the fireplace, she joined Nick on the lumpy couch. “I’m going to meet with Seth tomorrow.” She wasn’t going to mention what he’d said about her job, Seth’s promise of a pink slip if she didn’t have Nick and Jason in tow. Nick would only want to do something to fix it, even though there was nothing he could do.
“Okay.”
“I’m going to walk down the road until I can get cell service, and I’m going to call a cab.”
“You can take the truck.”
“No. I can’t.”
He stared at her. A muscle along his jaw tensed under razor stubble.
“You need to go. Somewhere. Away from here.”
He said nothing, just looked away from her, focusing on the fire.
Something stirred inside her, that warm, jittery feeling she always got when she looked at him. The soul-deep eyes. The little cleft in his chin. The brim of his hat cast shadows on his face that shifted and danced in the flicker of flame. She breathed deeply, trying to detect the scent of his skin.
All she could smell was smoke from the open hearth.
She resisted the urge to lean toward him, rest her head on his good shoulder, take in one last breath. There hadn’t been anything between them. Nothing but a single kiss, a few words and a very short amount of time. Yet it was hard to let go. Hard to accept there would be nothing more. That whatever impossible fantasies she’d harbored had reached their end.
She had to let go of them. So did he. “I know you said
you wanted to be there for me. But you have to be there for your son first. He’s not safe here. You’re not safe. What happened today is proof.”
He looked back, his eyes meeting hers. “So come with us.”
“I have a job to do.”
“You’re suspended.”
She shook her head. That wasn’t the half of it. When she didn’t bring Nick and Jason into the D.A.’s office, she’d probably have no job at all. But even without a title or paycheck or any official authority, she still had work to finish. “I have to find out what’s really going on. It’s bigger than the job. It’s even bigger than owing Jimmy.”
“It’s who you are.”
She nodded. He understood. Somehow she knew he would, and the fact that she’d been right made her feel all the more empty. “As much as the ranch is who you are.”
He stared into the fire, as if letting her comment sink in. When he returned his gaze, his eyes held a sheen that wasn’t there before. “When I first met you, I thought you were like Gayle.” He held up his good hand, as if asking her to stave off whatever conclusions his confession would engender.
She shrugged a shoulder. She didn’t know Gayle. Maybe there was something in that statement she should take offense with. But from where she sat, she couldn’t see it. Nick had married her, hadn’t he? She was the mother of a splendid little boy. She had to admit, she kind of liked the comparison. It was the closest she could get to having him, being part of an amazing family, something she’d never known. “I look a little like her. I noticed that.”
He nodded. “The hair. The willpower. But I thought that meant you also had her ambition.”
She wasn’t sure what image of her he saw. “I am ambitious.”
“Not in the same way. You do your job because you believe in the work’s value. You want to make a difference.”
He didn’t elaborate on his ex-wife and her motivations, and Melissa didn’t ask. She didn’t want to know. She just wanted to hold his words in her heart, the way he saw Melissa Anderson. No one else. The way she wanted to be seen.
He leaned his head against the back of the couch as if he no longer had the energy to keep it upright.
“You okay?”
“No.”
“We need to go to the hospital.”
“My arm isn’t the problem.”
She didn’t believe that. She saw the pain in his face, even after the pills should have worked their magic. “If it isn’t your arm, what is it?”
“I know I shouldn’t say this. Hell, I shouldn’t even be feeling it.” He raised his head and looked at her.
His eyes appeared glassy. The painkillers, no doubt. But his face held something tender, something honest, something she’d never seen in a man’s face before.
A chill traveled over her skin, the sensation having nothing to do with being cold. She didn’t want him to go on, to say another word. And yet, she had to hear. She had to know. She had to feel it, even though it was somewhere she couldn’t afford to let herself go.
“I’m…” He inhaled deeply, as if he needed the extra oxygen to fuel his courage.
A tremor seized just below her rib cage. She couldn’t hear this. As much as she wanted to, she just… “Wait.” She brought her fingers to his lips.
He raised his good hand, engulfing her hand, placing it on the back of his neck.
She should withdraw. Look away. Retreat to the other side of the room. She tangled her fingers in the short curls at his nape.
“I’m falling in love with you, Melissa.” He said the words on a rush, pushing them out on a single breath.
She’d known it was coming. On some level, she’d even wished for it. But although the words curled inside her, warm and precious, she couldn’t keep them. She couldn’t make them her own. She shook her head. “No. You can’t.”
He nodded and brought his face close. “It’s impossible. I know.”
It was impossible. She hardly knew him, yet she knew him so well. She couldn’t do this, yet she couldn’t take her hand away, either.
“I know,” he said, as if answering her thoughts.
“You have to leave. You and Jason.”
“I know.” His breath caressed her lips. “We’ll leave tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow.”
She wasn’t sure if he lowered his lips or if she pulled him to her, but his kiss was all she needed, all she wanted. His warmth filled the cold empty quake inside her. His lips moved against hers and her mouth answered, automatically, naturally.
She wanted more, so much more. She wanted to be naked, skin touching skin, nothing between them. She wanted to feel him, soak in his heat, his scent, his love while she still could.
Her fingers found the buttons on his shirt. One by one, she worked them free. She moved her hands inside, caressed warm, smooth skin. She wanted to take off his shirt, to feel all of him, kiss all of him.
She hesitated. “Jason.”
“He sleeps like the dead.”
Nick was right. In the time she’d known Jason, he’d never awakened on his own in the night. Not once.
He moved to slip out of his sleeves.
“Your arm. I don’t want to hurt you.”
He glanced at the makeshift cast. “I forgot. I forgot everything…everything but you.”
She kissed him again, careful of his arm. She couldn’t stop. She slipped off his Stetson and ran her fingers through his hair. She kissed his lips and his neck and the cleft in his chin, the burn of stubble making her lips tingle.
Once she’d thought his cowboy mannerisms and hat and boots were what drew her. She’d been so stupid. It was the man he was. His sharp mind. His big heart. The way he gave her just what she needed. Even if she didn’t know what that was.
He tried to slip the top button of her blouse free with one hand. “Clumsy.”
“Here.” She covered his hand with hers and unbuttoned. He splayed his fingers across her belly as she let the blouse slide from her shoulders and unfastened her bra.
He sucked in a breath. His hand circled to her back and guided her toward him. His lips closed over her nipple. Teasing and sucking, stirring heat within her she longed for, but hadn’t known it. Hadn’t known it until now.
He moved from one breast to another, soft, gentle. Stubble rasped her skin, heated her blood, burned her.
She closed her eyes. This couldn’t be happening. Shouldn’t be happening. But it was. And tomorrow… tomorrow he would be gone. She’d be alone.
She reached for his belt, his jeans. Unfastening both, she tugged them down his legs. She wanted to show him how she felt. She couldn’t say it. She couldn’t live it. But she could show him now. While they were still together. While they still had time. She could show him and hope he’d remember, that she’d remember in the lonely time ahead. She took him in her hand, feeling his length, caressing the smooth skin.
His fingers flew to her waist, unbuttoning, unzipping.
She couldn’t wait. She pushed her own trousers and panties down her legs. Slowly, she moved kisses over the hard ridges of his stomach and up his chest. Claiming his mouth with hers, she straddled him and took him inside.
He filled her, slowly, gently. And as she opened to him, tears filled her eyes and the room became nothing but watery shadow.
Pleasure and heat built between them and finally crashed over her, sweeping away thought, taking him with her. He said her name on a hoarse whisper and held her tight against his chest.
They stayed that way until their heartbeats slowed. Clinging to one another as long as they could. Joined. Finally Nick’s lips moved against her cheek, whispering in her ear. “We can figure this out. We’ll take our time. After this is over.”
“After this is over.” She parroted his words and kissed his cheek. Sitting back, she looked into his eyes.
It was a nice dream, but she knew that’s all it could be. And the way he looked at her, she could tell he knew it, too.
The problem was bigger than thi
s case. It was bigger than him leaving town and her having to stay. Sitting with him here, touching him, tasting him, loving him—it was everything she wanted. More than she wanted. More than she’d believed existed.
But no matter how good it felt to be in Nick’s arms, to show him how she felt, she couldn’t bear the thought of reaching for him one day, and finding nothing there. And that was the feeling that surrounded her like the chill air as she moved away from him and pulled on her clothes.
NICK KNEW THE CABIN would be empty the next morning when he awoke from his drug-induced heavy sleep. But the cold light of day made the realization even worse than he’d anticipated.
He’d worried telling Melissa he loved her would push her away. He probably wouldn’t have done it if not for the painkillers. But as it was, he doubted anything he said or didn’t say could have changed things.
And that had him feeling more hopeless than anything else.
He stared out the cabin’s plate glass window. Even though the view was fogged by moisture between the panes, he could see the white swirl of snow on the wind.
He didn’t know why he did this to himself. It was as if he deliberately chose women who couldn’t love him. Maybe he was protecting himself, in that way. If they couldn’t love him because of where he lived, what he did, who he was, then it couldn’t be his fault when things didn’t work out.
Pitiful.
He popped a couple more painkillers and chased them with a glass of water from the rusty tap. These would have to be his last. He had to drive in a few hours and needed a clear mind. But at least for now he could dull the throb in his arm, in his chest. He could put off the full brunt of the pain a little longer.
He padded into the living room area, feet cold on the hard floor. He tried not to think of what had happened last night, what he and Melissa had shared. He knew it would be painful today, looking back on what he’d tasted and what he’d lost. If he’d never known what it could feel like to be that close to her, his pain would be more manageable today. But there wasn’t a chance he could have turned her down.
The fire had gone out hours ago, nothing but blackened remnants of the largest logs left. He picked up the poker and stabbed one of the logs, shifting it back into place. He and Jason would have to pack and clear out, but first, he’d build another fire. He wasn’t sure Melissa would be coming back. He couldn’t see it. She’d probably return to her apartment rather than stay here. But he didn’t like the idea of the cabin, which had been so warm with Melissa here to be cold and empty, even for the few hours they had left. Not when he could change it with a few logs, some crumpled newspaper and a match.
A Rancher’s Brand of Justice Page 14
