Alexandra stayed with Nathan and the horses as the others went to refresh themselves downstream.
Nathan’s eyes clouded. He looked away. “Go wash. I’ll take care of Royal and Satan.”
She reached for him. “Nathan.”
His frown deepened. “I’m not fit for company. Go.” He turned his back to her.
Her throat closed and tears sprang to her eyes. She spun away and made her way blindly to the others, knelt down on a flat stone, dipped her hands in the cool water, and dabbed her fingers to her flushed face and neck. The cheerful splashing of the brook offered no comfort.
She longed to hold Nathan and ached to be in his arms. Show me how to help him, Lord.
Kadar squatted next to her and wet a small rag in the stream. The giant soldier had appointed himself Lydia’s nursemaid.
Lex offered him a weak smile. “Thank you for caring for Lydia. I—”
He waved his Hercules-sized hand. “It’s no bother.”
Lex pushed her tangled hair away from her face. “Has she said anything yet?” Lydia remained glassy-eyed and unresponsive, making James’s angry grumbling and Mary’s sorrowful weeping seem pleasant.
Kadar’s visage darkened. “Judas can thank his maker he is dead.”
“His death was too easy,” she agreed, and released a shuddering breath. “I hope I can find a way to make Nathan believe it.”
“Has your stomach settled?”
Her face heated, remembering her disgraceful display. “I’m better, thank you. It was the smell of the blood...it didn’t agree with me.” It was only half the truth. Seeing Nathan snap a man’s neck had shaken her more deeply than she liked to admit.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself.” Kadar grunted and smiled. “I’ve seen men hardier than you vomit on their sandals after viewing the carnage of battle.”
She pressed a hand to her stomach. “Nathan hates that he killed his fellow Israelites.”
Kadar’s mouth twisted with distaste. “He shouldn’t. You might have noticed his fellow Jews showed great enthusiasm in trying to kill him.”
“Hmm...I hadn’t thought about it that way.” She looked over at Nathan. Misery marred his face. She sighed. “Convincing Nathan won’t be easy. He takes all the blame on himself.”
“Herod told me about Nathan in battle. Now I’ve seen it for myself—” Kadar glanced at Nathan as well.
Lex eyes snapped back to Kadar. “What did Herod say?”
The giant soldier rubbed the back of his neck as he considered her request. “Herod could tell the story better than me.”
She leaned forward. “I want to hear it from you.”
Kadar exhaled a resigned breath.
Her toes curled in her sandals. Lord help her, she wanted to know, but she didn’t.
***
Alexandra walked beside Nathan on the hard-packed path. He led Royal by the bridle while Mary and Elizabeth shared the warhorse’s saddle. Up ahead, James trudged beside Kadar’s black stallion. Lydia sat behind Kadar, resting her face against the giant’s back. Alexandra continued to mull over what she’d learned from Kadar.
The iron-gray clouds slowly parted, giving way to patches of bright, blue sky and the buffeting wind gradually mellowed to a soft breeze. Small clumps of white flowers dotted the hillsides. Alexandra inhaled the sweet smell settling about her.
“We’ll be in Rumah soon,” Nathan told the girls. “You’re limping,” he said to her, a hint of tenderness in his voice.
Her heart beat faster. “Am I?” She yearned for his touch, for his kisses.
His fingers brushed her upper arm. Her breath caught.
Nathan pulled her to a stop. “We should stop and have a look.” He knelt and lifted her foot. His strong, callused fingers closed around her ankle. She swallowed. His warm breath moved over her skin. “You have a blister, and a bad one at that.”
“A blister?” The nearness of him made her numb to everything but him. She glanced at the swollen, red skin on the side of her foot where her sandal had rubbed. “It’s nothing.”
Nathan raised a brow. “Nothing?”
She waved off his concern. “A mere inconvenience. I will—”
Nathan flinched.
Her head swirled sickeningly. She clutched her stomach. Could she be any more thoughtless, repeating one of her father-in-law’s favorite sayings? “I’m sorry. Forgive me. I—” she fumbled for the right words.
The angry wall came up. Nathan dropped her foot. He stood and stepped back.
Her chest constricted. What if Nathan’s wounds were too deep to heal? What if he never stopped pushing her away? What if things were never right between them again?
The tears she’d been fighting all day began to flow. She buried her face in her hands.
Nathan’s arms came around her. “Lex.” The tender way he said her name made her cry all the harder. His lips moved against her ear. “Lex, what’s wrong?”
Her breath hitched. “I was beginning to fear you’d never hold me again.”
James led Royal away. Kadar moved off as well, leaving them alone.
Nathan’s fingers pressed harder against her back. “I tried to stay away, but I saw you limping and I couldn’t stop myself.”
Laughter burbled up. “If I’d known that, I would have started hobbling sooner.” She pushed closer to him. “I missed you.”
“You aren’t revolted by me?”
She gasped. “Revolted? No, never.”
“You can’t want my bloody hands on you.”
She cupped his hand and kissed the tender skin above his thumb. “Your hands are beautiful.” She laid her cheek against his open palm. “Your touch makes me come alive.”
His thumb brushed her swollen lip. “The sight of your bruises and bloodstained clothes makes me want to go on killing. The depth of my rage frightens me.” Pain shadowed his eyes. “I’m afraid I will soil you with my hate.”
“You are being too hard on yourself.” She drew his hands to her waist. “You killed to protect me.”
His brow furrowed. “My blood sang as I slaughtered them. And I rejoiced in it. Where was the good in that?” He tried to pull away.
She tightened her grip. “Listen to me!”
“Lex...”
“Your father would have listened.”
Nathan narrowed his eyes at her, but he stilled.
Her mouth went dry. “Judas and his men gave you no choice but to kill them. You fought them with the same hard determination as Kadar. But then some of the men turned to attack me, and it wasn’t until that moment that you turned blind to everything except killing.”
Nathan continued to frown.
She licked her lips. “Kadar said he heard you fought the same way when Herod fell in battle and was swarmed by enemy soldiers. They said you fought with the strength of ten soldiers, single-handedly rescuing Herod.”
Nathan spoke through gritted teeth. “I earned the name angel of death that day.”
She clasped his rigid hands. “I think the only times your blood sings is when someone you love or care for is threatened.”
He laughed without humor. “I’ll give you leave to believe it. Because I’m that desperate to keep your love.” He pulled his hands free and tapped his chest. “But, I know what’s in here.”
A tremble shook her. “I don’t care if you are the angel of death. I still love you.” She held her arms out. He remained rooted in place. Her heart ached for him. For herself.
Kadar circled back on his horse. “I hate to bother you, but...” he jerked his thumb over his shoulder “...look who just came over the hill.”
Alexandra forced her eyes away from Nathan.
Sapphira and Barjesus hurried toward them, holding hands.
CHAPTER 29
Nathan pinched the bridge of his nose. “You want to get married?” he repeated.
Sapphira pressed closer to Barjesus. The young outlaw lifted his chin. “We’d like to travel the rest of the way to Rumah with yo
u. For Sapphira’s sake, I’d ask you not to mention that she spent a bit of time separated from everyone.”
Nathan arched his brow at Sapphira. Her reputation would suffer if people found out she’d spent a day and night alone with Barjesus.
She blushed prettily. “Barjesus didn’t force me to go with him. I wanted to.”
Nathan turned to a rapt Alexandra, Mary, James, and Elizabeth. “Did the boy do harm to any of you?”
They shook their heads. Alexandra wet her split lip. “Barjesus stood guard at the camp.” An ugly purple bruise marred her soft, lovely cheek. Nathan’s hand curled around the cold metal of his sword.
Forgive him. Lex’s beautiful, gray eyes begged. Though bloodshot, they spoke to him as clearly as words.
Forgive? How was he supposed to forgive? He peeled his fingers off his sword, squared his shoulders and pointed at Barjesus. “If I catch you raiding with Hezekiah or the others, you’re a dead man. Do you understand?”
The young rebel’s face turned white as the belly of a fish.
Sapphira clasped the boy’s hand. “Barjesus promised me he would go back to farming.” She shook Barjesus’s arm. “Tell him.”
The boy wiped at the sweat beading his forehead. “I am done with raiding. I swear it on the name of the Lord.”
Nathan lowered his arm. “See that you are. In turn, I promise I won’t tell Sapphira’s parents the two of you spent the night alone.” Their faces reddened and they began studying their feet, confirming Nathan’s suspicions regarding the breakneck speed of their courtship.
The sun disappeared behind a cloud. Nathan rubbed the back of his neck. “We best get going.”
Alexandra took a couple of limping steps, saw him watching her and frowned. “Perhaps we could move more quickly if I were to ride on Royal?”
“Maybe? You need to be kinder to yourself, wife.” Glad for an excuse to touch her, he scooped her up in his arms.
Her lips brushed his ear. “Where’s a deserted olive orchard when you need one?”
His belly warmed and his loins tightened. Disgusted with himself, he quickly placed her on the saddle.
Lex grabbed her side. “Ouch, that hurts.”
He pushed her hand aside and pressed his fingers against her belly. “Does it hurt anywhere else?”
She winced. “My ribs are the worst.”
His hands balled, and he relished the burn and heaviness throbbing through his sword arm. What was he doing pretending to be an olive farmer? He expelled a heavy breath. “You should have told me. I could have bound them.”
She made a face. “I just want to get home.”
He clicked his tongue and Royal moved forward. “I want to stop in Rumah before going home.” Lex glanced down at him. He touched her bruised cheek and his blood heated. “I want them to see what Judas did to you.”
Her brow furrowed.
“I know. I hate to put you through it,” he said. “But, I want Bartholomew and the other elders to see with their own eyes the evil you suffered.”
“Will it help heal the rift between us and them?”
He rolled his knotted shoulders. “Pinhas, for one, has had a change of heart. He came out to the farm in the middle of the night, in the pouring rain, to tell me where Judas was hiding. It’s how I found you so quickly.”
“Did he?” Lex smiled weakly. “Bless him. It’s a good start.” She raised her brows, looking for him to agree.
Nathan sealed his lips shut.
They arrived in Rumah with an hour of light to spare and trod boldly down the narrow thoroughfare to Sapphira’s home. Door after door opened. Families stepped outside. Frowning, angry faces followed them. Voices murmured against them. Thick hostility consumed the breathable air.
Nathan’s hand went to his sword. “Something’s wrong.”
“I don’t like it up here,” Lex said through gritted teeth.
Nathan helped her off the horse. She was trembling. His muscles tightened. She had to be close to the breaking point, yet she called Mary and Elizabeth to her and circled her arms around them.
Old Zeke left his doorstep and marched toward them. “What are you going to do about Herod?”
Nathan looked around. Where were Bartholomew and the other elders? Half of the men were absent. A ball of ice formed in his stomach. “What happened?”
“Herod charged into Rumah like a raging bull and dragged Hezekiah away from his dinner table and paraded him up and down the road, announcing he was taking Hezekiah to his fortress in Sepphoris to try and execute him.” Zeke’s wrinkled face was purple with rage. Spittle flew from his puckered mouth. “Herod threatened us. Told us we’d face the same fate, if we didn’t return home and live in peace.”
Nathan wanted to strangle Herod. “What’s been done about it?”
“Bartholomew and Thomas and most of the other men followed Herod to Sepphoris to try to put a stop to it.” Old Zeke wiped his sleeve across his beard. “Pinhas and John dashed off to Jerusalem to complain to Antipater and John Hycranus.”
“Hezekiah should be brought before the high court in Jerusalem,” Nathan said.
Old Zeke pointed a gnarled finger. “Go tell that to Herod.”
***
They reached the farm at sundown. The tent, barn, and the new, stone house stood as gray shadows against the leaden sky. Alexandra ought to feel joy at returning home, but the stop in Rumah had been a disaster, causing the black anger filling Nathan to come boiling back to life.
Timothy tumbled out of the main tent and ran toward them with Rhoda close behind him. Mary raced into her mother’s embrace, and they cried and hugged.
Nathan joined them, and he and his stepmother shared some quiet words.
A lump rose in Alexandra’s throat. She wanted to go to them, but she felt like an intruder. James and Elizabeth stopped on either side of her.
James’s elbow touched hers. “Do you think Father will be as happy to see us?”
Alexandra scanned the yard. Her father was nowhere to be seen. Praise heaven. She wasn’t ready to face his harsh tongue. And considering Nathan’s present mood, it was probably for the best.
Kadar’s large black stallion filled her view. “Where should I take your sister?” he asked, glancing back at Lydia. Her sister’s arms were still wrapped around the giant’s waist, her head resting against his broad back.
Chilled, Alexandra rubbed her arms. “Take her to the small tent.”
Kadar coaxed his horse forward. Alexandra glanced back over at Nathan in time to see him moving off to tend to the animals and Rhoda coming toward her. The tall woman threw her thin arms around Alexandra. “Bless you, my dear girl, for watching over my Mary. Bless you.”
Startled, Alexandra laughed, then tears spilled down her face. “I’m so sorry you lost Joseph.”
Rhoda patted her back. “I’ll try not to be a burden to you and Nathan.”
Alexandra gasped. “Burden? We need you,” she rushed to assure the widow. All Joseph’s possessions now belonged to Nathan. Rhoda was at his mercy, and by extension, Alexandra’s. “Please don’t go back to your family,” Alexandra said. “I know it’s your right, but I’d miss your help and your company.”
Her mother-in-law straightened. “I’ll stay and teach you all I know. But if you change your mind—”
Alexandra grabbed up the older woman’s chapped hand. “I won’t change my mind. I love you. And I love Timothy and Mary. You are as dear to me as Lydia and James.”
Rhoda dabbed at Alexandra’s tears with the rag clutched in her hand. “You must take after your mother. I don’t see a hint of your infernal father in you, I’m happy to say.”
Alexandra took a deep breath. She supposed it couldn’t be put off any longer. “Where is my father?”
Rhoda scowled. “Kadar had a word with the jackass, and that was the last we saw of him. And good riddance too.”
Alexandra bit her lip. “I’m sorry for the misery he caused.”
“Your father is the on
e who should apologize.” The older woman’s face softened. “Come inside. I’ll get some wash water and fresh clothes for you and your sister.”
A short while later Alexandra had Lydia settled on a bedroll. Lex tucked a blanket under her sister’s chin. “I’m going to get you something to eat.”
Lydia stared sightlessly up at the tent’s ceiling. Alexandra squeezed her eyes closed. Lydia had always bubbled with life and joy. “I missed you so much, dear. Please come back to me.”
Kadar entered the tent carrying a plate of food.
Alexandra reached for the plate. “You read my mind.”
The big man nodded at the tent door. “Go join your family. I’ll care for your sister.”
Alexandra frowned apologetically. “I can’t leave her alone with you. It wouldn’t be proper.”
Lydia stirred. “Kadar?” Her sister pulled her thin, frail arm out from under the cover and reached for the giant.
Kadar moved to Lydia and knelt beside her. “I’m here.”
Her sister sighed and closed her eyes. “Stay with me.”
“I will,” Kadar said. “But you have to promise me you will eat the food I’ve brought.” Lydia was dangerously thin. The baby swelling her belly only served to emphasize it.
Lydia nodded and struggled to sit up. Kadar propped pillows behind her. Then, picking up the plate of food, he gave Alexandra a pointed look. Her reputation is already ruined, it said. Let’s concentrate on saving her life. Turning back to Lydia, he held a piece of bread to her mouth. Her sister nibbled at it.
Alexandra slipped out of the small tent and entered the large, lamp-lit tent. She joined the family around the reed table. Timothy was unusually subdued. James and Elizabeth picked at their food. Nathan stared at the tent wall, his face hard and unmoving. The silence lengthened. Mary pillowed her head on Rhoda’s lap and fell fast asleep. Alexandra’s eyes kept going back to Joseph’s empty spot, and her heart grew heavier and heavier.
The Warrior (The Herod Chronicles Book 1) Page 25
