by Holly Jacobs
“How about I grab a muffin at the coffee shop?” Tori asked. “But I’d take a cup of coffee now.”
“You drink coffee at—” She was about to say your age, but stopped herself.
“At my age?” Tori had no problem filling in the blank. She laughed. “Mom loves the stuff, and I always had a sip of hers in the morning. I like the taste. She always limited me to that sip, saying if I started drinking it too soon, it’d stunt my growth. But then I met you and figured I’m stunted either way, and Mom agreed, so now I get one cup in the morning, as long as I promise no soft drinks in exchange.”
“I like how your parents work.” They listened to a rather logical argument and adjusted the rules accordingly. She had to agree with Tori’s assessment...if Sophie’s genetics played out, Tori was doomed to shopping in the petite section of the store for the rest of her life.
“Yeah, I guess they’re better than most of my friends’ parents. Mom and Dad at least listen to me. If they say no to something, but I can come up with a logical argument, or a compromise option, they’ll listen. Listening isn’t something most parents do too well.” She paused. “Well, Mom had a hard time listening about you. But she was afraid. I hadn’t thought about why she reacted so differently than she normally did to other stuff.”
Tori went to the small coffee machine. The coffee pods were next to it in a basket, so she brewed her own cup of coffee, and Sophie realized it was more like half a cup of coffee, since Tori liberally added milk after the fact.
Sophie took a sip of her own decaf. She’d been trying to convince herself that it was as good as the regular, but she couldn’t quite make herself believe it.
They sat at her kitchen table in the small breakfast bay of the kitchen. The silence was comfortable for a few minutes, then it started to feel more uneasy.
“So, did you want to ask any questions today?” Sophie finally asked.
“I’ve thought about it. About what I want to know, about...well, all of this. And I decided that I don’t want you to simply regurgitate your past and my beginning to me. That’s not how kids normally find out about their parents. Normally, they know that if they cry, their mom will pick them up. And then they learn that if they smile, their mom smiles back. And then...” She shrugged.
“It’s not until they’re older that kids even know their parents were once kids, too. I remember when Mom told me about the one day she’d skipped school. She found a dog that had been hit by a car and she carried it to the vet’s, then waited for hours until it got out of surgery. That’s the first time I remember realizing Mom was once a kid. The realization surprised me. The fact she saved a dog didn’t.”
“It doesn’t surprise me, either,” Sophie said. She’d just met the woman, but she knew that despite her impeccable wardrobe, Gloria would be the first one to jump out and help an injured animal.
“That’s how I want to get to know you. In bits and pieces. Organically, is how my dad would put it. I don’t want you to spit out the story in a rush. I want to...”
“To get to know me organically.”
“Yeah.”
Tori wanted to know that if she cried, Sophie would pick her up. If she smiled, Sophie would smile, too. She was amazed by this child, who she’d given birth to and who the Allens had raised so beautifully. “Then that’s what we’ll do. I’ll try to talk about my past. It’s not something I’m good at.”
“Yeah, you never told Colton about me.”
“No, I never did. But I don’t want you to think it was because I regretted having you or was embarrassed. It hurt so much to talk about you. I’ve missed you every day since the moment they took you from me. I screamed out loud, begging to hold you at least once. Wanting to see you for myself. But no matter how I begged, they wouldn’t listen. I don’t know, maybe I figured no one would ever listen. You became something I held on to tightly, but privately. And after I left my parents for college, I didn’t talk about them, either. When people asked, I’d say my parents were gone because they were. At least to me.”
Tori reached out and put her hand on Sophie’s. “If you forget to talk, I’ll remind you when there’s something I need to know. But for right now, why don’t we go get those muffins? And take me to work.”
Tori had gone over to Maeve’s yesterday. It was nice that the Fourth was on a Monday. The town had celebrated over the weekend, and yesterday had still been a day off. Maeve had shown Tori around the library, and it was a simple system, which would hopefully make Tori’s time there easy.
“Maeve said you’d only be there a few hours. When you’re done, we’re meeting your parents at the diner before they drive home.” Gloria and Dom had thought about leaving Monday morning, but they wanted to let Tori try out a night at Sophie’s while they were still in town. So they stayed the extra night. Having lunch together would give them a chance to reconnect and see that it had gone all right.
“I won’t forget. And it’s a short walk from the library to the diner, so I’ll meet you all there when I’m done.”
Sophie wanted to say no, that she’d pick Tori up, but her daughter was almost fifteen and well beyond the age of needing an escort to and from destinations. She’d driven herself from Ohio through Pennsylvania and over the border to the edge of New York—the thought still made Sophie cringe. But, given all that, she could definitely walk a few blocks solo.
Sophie forced herself not to offer to meet her and simply said, “I hope you like volunteering at the library. It’s been Maeve’s baby since it reopened, but she’s lamented that she can only be there a few hours in the evening. With you there during the day, it will give the kids somewhere to go.”
“Yeah, Maeve asked how I felt about reading books to the little kids. A story time. Mom used to take me to something like that. This lady, Miss Kitty, she was awesome. She didn’t even look at the books, she knew the words and the stories. She was so excited about reading that you couldn’t help but get excited, too. I don’t know if I can read like her.”
“I don’t think the kids will care if you have to read the words.”
“Yeah, that’s what Maeve said. I...”
Tori talked about the library, about Maeve... She simply talked and Sophie hung on every word as they walked to Park Street. She was walking on a summer morning with her daughter.
It was a moment she’d never imagined having.
* * *
COLTON DROVE DOWN Park Street. Jerry had called Saturday to say that his special order of flagstone had come in. He’d ordered it for Sophie because, once, after a particularly wet week, she’d mentioned that they should put down some sort of stone patio. They’d had friends coming over for a picnic, and the yard had still been soup.
She’d shown him a picture in a magazine. It had been a flagstone patio. He’d thought she’d enjoy the surprise. He’d imagined placing a pink bow on the pile of stone. Sophie would have laughed, then rolled up her sleeves and helped him build the patio.
Now the flagstone was in, but he wouldn’t need a pink bow.
He turned onto Park Street and spotted Sophie and Tori going into Park Perks.
Without conscious thought, he pulled into a vacant spot two doors down from the coffee shop.
He wasn’t following Sophie or forcing a meeting. He simply had a sudden hankering for coffee and one of Mattie’s carrot muffins.
Yep, that’s all this was.
He straightened his hat and sauntered into the shop. The bell on the door jingled. Not only did Mattie look at him, but Sophie and her daughter turned toward him, as well.
Neither Sophie nor Tori said anything. It was Mattie who greeted him. “Hi, Colton.”
“Mattie. Sophie and Tori.” He walked up to the no-longer-blue-haired girl and saw her hair still boasted a slight blue hue.
“Sir.” She eyed him distrustfully.
“Have you seen Maeve? Our librarian.”
Tori’s response was a silent glare, until Sophie gave her the slightest elbow. Tori sighed
.
Colton ignored the exchange between Sophie and Tori, and said, “I’m sure Maeve will appreciate your help. She’s wanted to expand the hours at the library for ages.”
“A lot of kids need something to do during the day. A library’s a good place for them to do it.” She snapped her mouth shut, as if she’d realized she’d responded to him with something akin to enthusiasm.
“Speaking of the library,” Sophie said in an obvious bid to rescue Tori and escape, “we’d better get you there. Maeve’s got to be at work by noon. She wanted to spend the morning with you.”
“Sophie, can I come over some night?” Colton blurted out. “We need to talk.”
She didn’t even hesitate as she answered, “No, I don’t think so.”
“Can you come by the farm?” he tried.
“Colton, we’ve said everything we needed to say. I’ll text you anything that you need to know.” She gave him the slightest nod of her head and he knew that anything he needed to know would center around the baby, not her. Sophie turned to her friend. “Have a good one, Mattie.”
Tori shot him a parting glare as they both hurried out of the shop.
Mattie whistled a long, low sound. “Wow, you are definitely in the doghouse. That’s not somewhere I ever thought you’d end up with Sophie. She adores you.”
“Once upon a time, but not so much now.” He’d never seen Sophie like this. She’d always been smiling. Easy going. Amenable.
“What did you do wrong?” Mattie asked.
Colton didn’t answer her question and ordered a coffee, though he’d lost the taste for it.
He realized that Mattie hadn’t asked the right question. The right question was, what hadn’t he done wrong?
* * *
SOPHIE GOT TO THE DINER early and found Gloria and Dom already sitting at a back table. She went to join them. Hank followed her. “Coffee?”
“Ice water with lemon?” she asked.
“Sure thing, beautiful.”
She sat down and studied Tori’s parents. They still looked as incongruous as ever. Dom wore a T-shirt that proclaimed Paint by Numbers and had a bucolic scene half painted on it. Gloria had on a light summer sweater set and her pearls.
“So, today’s the day. You’ll have Tori until Friday,” Gloria said by way of greeting.
Sophie nodded. “About Tori. I couldn’t help but wonder if you think she’s all right.”
“You don’t?” Gloria’s expression went from friendly to concerned, and Dom’s face echoed hers.
“She’s too...” Sophie wasn’t sure how to phrase her concern. “I almost said nice, but that’s not it. When she showed up at my wedding and objected, she was angry. I mean, it was almost palpable. Everything about her, from her blue hair to her stance, was simply so very angry. Angry at you two, angry at me. I don’t know how someone goes from that angry to not-so-much so quickly. I mean, she took the blue out of her hair, accepted the idea of this job without a complaint and has been nothing but nice to me. She told me this morning that she doesn’t plan to grill me, searching for answers, but wants them to come organically.” Sophie smiled at Dom as she said the word. “She wants me to talk about myself as things come up. I’m not good at that.”
Sophie realized “not good” was an understatement.
She tried to figure out how to put her fears into words. “I’m afraid that I’m going to say something wrong and set her off again. I’m afraid that maybe all that anger is bubbling under the surface, and try as she might to hide it, it’s going to come exploding out at some point.”
Dom looked at Gloria and said, “See, I’m never wrong.”
“He’s insufferable, but he wasn’t wrong when he said very much the same thing. Tori’s a teen and even though she’s talking to me again and smiling, she’s still furious with me for not telling her about you.”
“And I’m pretty sure she’s still furious at me for giving her up.”
Dom nodded. “This is the calm before the storm. We want you to know we don’t expect you to deal with the fallout by yourself. We can be here in two hours, maybe three depending on the time of day.”
“I’m afraid that I have news that’s going to make that upcoming storm worse. I haven’t told anyone but Colton, but...” Sophie might wear her emotions on her sleeve, but she didn’t talk about them. She didn’t share. But for her daughter’s sake, she forced herself to say the words. “I’m expecting. I can’t imagine how the news will affect Tori.”
The Allens exchanged a look with each other and Sophie could read their concern for their daughter.
“When were you going to tell her?” Gloria asked.
“Sooner rather than later, I think.” Sophie found her hands on her stomach again, of their own accord. As if by wrapping themselves around her unborn child she could protect it from the anger she feared that Tori was going to have.
“I’ve learned my lesson,” Gloria admitted. “We all need to be as honest as possible with Tori and with each other.”
Sophie nodded. “I agree. But I wanted to ask you both what you want me to do.”
“Wait until we’re in town before you tell her,” Gloria said. “I don’t know what else to offer for suggestions.” She looked at Dom.
“Be honest, be loving and be prepared to deal with the outcome. We’ll do whatever we can to help her through it, and to help you.”
“You don’t even know me.” There was no hint of anything other than genuine concern in the Allens’ faces.
“You’re part of our family,” Dom said. “Even before we met you, you were part of our family. You gave us the greatest gift anyone can give another person. How could you not be a part of us?”
Sophie started to cry. And she didn’t try to stop the tears that she’d held in check since Colton had said goodbye. “I’m so happy to get a chance to know Tori, but I want you to know that I still believe I did the best thing I could by letting you adopt her. I worried so much that first year. I bought a baby book and tracked what milestones she should have reached. Milestones I couldn’t witness, but you did. I worried you wouldn’t realize how miraculous each was, but on her first birthday, I got your letter and it was clear that you not only recognized what a miracle she was, you treasured her. I found peace. I knew that she was loved. Not only a little, but completely. It was there in every line you shared. Thank you for that and for all the letters that followed.”
Those letters that arrived like clockwork annually were a lifeline for Sophie. They kept her going.
“We marveled at every one of those milestones,” Gloria said. “When I wrote the letters, I was able to share how absolutely amazing she was with someone who would understand.”
“I’m so happy about this baby, but I know it couldn’t have come at a worse time.”
Gloria shook her head. “There’s never a good time for a baby. When we got the call that you had picked us as parents for your daughter, we’d almost given up hopes of ever having a child. I’d just been given tenure at the university and Dom had been given his first solo art show. Our quiet life had exploded and we thought that things had worked out the way they were supposed to. We’d be a childless career couple. Then we got that call.”
“Tori didn’t sleep through the night until she was over a year old,” Dom said. “That entire first year is still blurry.”
“He did a painting called Tori at Midnight. It sold immediately.” Gloria’s pride was evident.
“I don’t think I even remember painting it,” Dom admitted. “I was that sleep deprived.”
“What we’re trying to say is, life happens when it happens. You can’t script it, you can’t control it. Dom taught me that.” Gloria reached for his hand with practiced ease. “Tell Tori, but give yourself this one week before you do. If you tell her next weekend, we’ll be here for her and for you.”
Sophie looked at the two of them holding hands—united. And they were going to stand by her. There had only been one other time when she tho
ught she’d had someone standing in her corner no matter what. That was when she’d fallen in love with Colton.
She couldn’t have imagined a time he wouldn’t be there for her.
She’d simply never known that the first real test of that connection would lead to such an epic failure.
And now, here were two virtual strangers offering to be there for her. She choked up at the thought. “Thank you.”
“Here comes the working woman,” Tori called out with a grin as she approached the booth.
Sophie shot Dom and Gloria one last look of gratitude, and then turned to Tori. “So, it went well?”
Tori slid into the booth next to her, her thigh touching Sophie’s.
“I’ve discovered I love the sound of the ca-thunk as the stamp hits the book.” Tori mimicked the sound for emphasis. “Maeve doesn’t have money for the kind of computer system that tracks books. She runs the library old-school. A card catalog, a patron catalog and a stamp. Ca-thunk. Maeve says even if she does have enough funding for a new computer system, she isn’t sure she’d want to change ’cause she loves the sound, too. She showed me the Dewey system and...”
Tori bubbled over about the library through their lunch.
Watching Tori, listening to her—it was hard to believe that she was the same girl who had objected at the wedding.
Sophie couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if Tori hadn’t said anything until after the ceremony. Would Colton have been so quick to walk away if they’d made their vows?
Sophie understood that he would be hurt, that he’d be mad, but to simply write her off?
Her parents had done that. She’d done her best to be the daughter they wanted, even though she’d chafed under their restrictions. She’d made a mistake and they’d written off all the things she’d done right. They’d written off her.
