A Walk Down the Aisle

by Holly Jacobs

  “Mangle them?” Sophie asked, leaning toward him. She was standing so close now. Not touching him, but more at ease with him than she’d been since the wedding.

  “Bridget made the mistake of telling Finn that she wanted to name Zoe ‘Allison Jane.’ He spent weeks calling her and leaving her new little ditties on her voice mail. Allison Jane, she’s such a pain. Allison Jane, she’s—”

  Sophie laughed. “I can see why she went with Zoe.”

  “Harder to rhyme,” Colton assured her.

  She continued to watch the kids as they ran around her yard. “You’re right. And I think keeping a name to ourselves is a good idea.”

  He liked the idea of having something that was only theirs.

  After a half hour, Joe’s father, Ron, came by to pick up the kids. They asked if he’d like to stay and have some now-cold pizza, but he declined.

  The departure of the Williams kids seemed to be a signal. After they left, everyone else started picking up their things and saying goodbye.

  Sophie was hugged by one and all.

  Tori was heading over to JoAnn’s B and B with her parents. “But I’ll be back tomorrow night,” she said.

  “I’m glad,” Sophie told her. “I was afraid you wouldn’t.”

  “I told Maeve I’d help for the summer, so I’m sticking.” Her parents started toward the street, but Tori came back to Colton. “You don’t deserve her.”

  “I know.”

  Tori nodded, apparently satisfied with his answer, then followed her parents.

  His mom, dad and Misty were the last ones. “I want to say,” his father said without preamble, “that whatever happened between the two of you doesn’t matter. I have a grandson on his way, and he deserves to have two parents who are married and raising him together. So, whatever happened, fix it.”

  Sophie made a subtle move and put herself slightly between him and his father. “There’s no fixing it, Mr. McCray. But I want you all to know, Cletus will need you, like he’ll need his father. I’d never do anything to keep any of you from him. He doesn’t need a marriage certificate for me and Colton—he needs us both to love him and put his best interests first. And that’s what we’re planning.”

  His dad shook his head. “You’re wrong. The two of you are wrong about so many things.”

  His mom touched his father’s arm, and that was enough to silence him.

  “Whatever happened or happens, you’re part of our family, Sophie,” she said. “We love your daughter and her parents, and we’re going to try and be the best grandparents any baby’s ever had.”

  “Ma’am, that was already a given,” Sophie said.

  His parents left, his dad shooting him one more fix-it look.

  “Dad’s not going to let go,” Colton told her.

  Sophie stood straight, as if standing at her maximum height would add authority to her pronouncement. “And I’m not going to change my mind, so I’m afraid your dad’s banging his head against the proverbial wall.” She paused a minute then said, “Well, good night.”

  “I thought I’d help clean up.” He didn’t want to leave.

  “There’s not much to do,” Sophie said. “Everyone already put their cans and bottles in the recycling bag, so there’s only a few pizza boxes to toss out.”

  Colton couldn’t bear the thought of going to the farmhouse, because she wouldn’t be there. “Then sit with me?” he asked.

  “What do you want from me?”

  “Sit with me for a minute. We’ll watch the fireflies and talk about the baby. About names, about hopes and dreams. For just a few minutes, let’s forget everything else, and simply revel in the fact we saw our baby boy. They said he looks strong and healthy. And he’ll be here in December.”

  * * *

  SOPHIE WANTED TO SAY NO. She wanted Colton to go home. She wanted to be alone with her thoughts. With her dreams for this baby.

  She wanted to readjust her timetable and get used to the idea of having the baby for Christmas.

  Once, she’d imagined what it would be like to be pregnant with Colton’s baby. She’d imagined the joy and utter glee she’d feel as she announced her news, as they told their friends and family. Maybe they’d have done a party like the one they’d had tonight.

  But there wouldn’t have been a strained wall between her and Colton. They’d have held hands and exchanged looks. They’d both have been bursting with the news and with their plans and hopes for their unborn son.

  Cletus. That one unexpected decree had caught her by surprise. For one moment, she’d forgotten the walls between them and had simply laughed as they talked about baby names.

  But that moment was fleeting. She knew that sitting on the porch with him wouldn’t be what she’d imagined it would be. But maybe she could indulge herself a little and sit with him, pretending it was.

  “Fine. But only for a few minutes,” she allowed.

  They sat on her front porch. Her backyard was private and dark enough for fireflies and intimate talk. She definitely didn’t want that kind of intimacy with Colton.

  Out here on the front porch it was safer. There were streetlights and lights from neighbors’ homes. The occasional car drove by. She felt as if they had chaperones.

  “How did Tori take the news?” he asked.

  “She’s so hard to read. One moment, she’s angry at the entire world, the next she’s offering her parents up as the baby’s surrogate grandparents.”

  “Did you tell your own parents?” His question was cautious, as if he wasn’t sure how she’d react.

  “Not yet, and it won’t be in person. I haven’t talked to them since I left for college. I do get the obligatory holiday cards, and every year they send me a birthday card. They sign it Samuel and Marsha Moreau-Ellis.” She laughed as if it didn’t bother her, but she could see Colton’s expression well enough in the streetlight to know he wasn’t buying it. “I will send them a very polite note informing them that I’m once again pregnant and unmarried. I’m sure they’ll be as thrilled as they were the first time round.”

  “About that—” he started.

  “No, don’t start,” she said. She had to be very clear about this. “We can talk about the baby, but nothing more about my parents or us.”

  He was silent a moment. She thought he might argue, but finally he nodded. “Fine. Have you thought about names? I mean, I love Cletus, but we’re going to have to come up with something better than that.”

  She could see he was trying, and she appreciated it. “I love names that carry a child’s history with them. Named after someone or something.”

  “Did you have someone’s in mind?” he asked.

  “My grandmother was the only family that ever felt like family. Her maiden name was Sturgis. Her family homesteaded in Pennsylvania in Crawford County. There’s still a road named after them. I thought it would be a great middle name.”

  “And a first name?” he asked.

  “I thought we could name him after your grandfather.” She felt guilty, realizing she knew so much about Colton’s family—even the name of his grandfather. He was right; she hadn’t been fair not telling him anything about her family.

  “Benjamin Sturgis?” he murmured.

  “Benjamin Sturgis McCray.” He looked surprised that she used his last name, and she repeated his words. “A boy should have his father’s name.”

  She might not have Colton’s last name, but she wouldn’t deny her son his legacy.

  “I like it,” Colton said, nodding.

  “I’m glad. But you have a say, as well. If you had something else in mind—”

  He cut her off. “No. I couldn’t have come up with anything more perfect.”

  “Well, that was easy to settle,” she said. That’s how it had always been between them. Easy. When they’d talked about where to live after the wedding, they’d both known she’d move to the farm. They had planned their entire wedding in an evening. Small, intimate, on the farm, where Colton’s pare
nts and grandparents had married.

  Colton nodded. “Too bad the rest of what’s between us couldn’t be settled so easily.”

  No, she wasn’t going to do this. She wasn’t going to talk about them, about what happened, so she turned the conversation. “So what were you and Dom so intently talking about?”

  “Well, both of us plan to keep an eye on Tori and that Joe Williams. I mean, Sebastian says he’s a nice enough kid, and since Joe’s mom left, he’s been helping his dad with his younger sisters, but Tori’s still young.”

  “Really, you’re keeping an eye on Joe?” she asked, surprised to hear how protective Colton sounded. Tori didn’t like him, and she hadn’t thought he cared a bit about Tori.

  “Well, Dom’s back in Cleveland all week. I’ll be around, so I volunteered. Plus, I have Sebastian to help me. He’s taken Joe under his wing.”

  Sophie couldn’t help but imagine Tori’s reaction to her father and Colton keeping an eye on her and Joe. “Oh, yeah, Tori’s going to love that.”

  “I’m not dumb enough to tell her.” He snorted. “After that, it was all about farming. Dom’s parents own a CSA in Port Clinton, Ohio. I’ve thought about doing something along those lines, but I’ve never followed through. He said he was sure we could get a tour anytime.”

  She heard him slip and say we. As if she’d be involved somehow. She thought about correcting him, but he was so excited that she kept silent and listened as he went on to describe what he and Rich were planning to do at the winery. They were importing some older grape varieties and starting a new vineyard on his back three acres.

  Colton was a man of few words. Monosyllabic responses were his specialty. And if he couldn’t hone a response down to one syllable, he tried for as few as possible.

  But his conversation with Dom had obviously inspired him. The last time she’d heard him this excited he’d been talking about bringing Rich Keith in as a partner at the winery. He’d still have some control, but he’d leave the day-to-day work to Rich while he concentrated on the farm.

  She looked at the man she had almost married. A man she’d once thought was perfect. It was sad to learn he wasn’t. That he was, after all, simply a man.

  He wound down and said, “Sorry, I monopolized the conversation.”

  “Not so much a conversation as a soliloquy.” The excitement drained from his face, and she realized they were no longer in a place where they could tease each other. She hurriedly added, “No, really I loved hearing you so excited about something. And I love the idea of a CSA. I’d join.”

  “I was hoping that you’d research this with me, and come on board to advise me how to advertise it if I did it.” There was something in his tone that said he expected her to say no.

  Sophie knew she should say no. Friendly. Not friends. Not lovers. Not husband and wife.

  They needed firm boundaries in place before the baby came.

  But sitting here next to him, listening to him worry about Tori and then wax on about a new venture, she wanted nothing more than to reach out and take his hand and share his excitement. Before she did, she stood. “I need to get inside. And you need to head home.”

  “About the CSA?” he asked as he stood.

  Sophie knew she should say no, but she found herself saying, “I’ll give you whatever advice I can.”

  “If I set a visit up to Dom’s parents’ farm, would you come? Maybe next weekend?”

  “You can take time off from the farm to drive to Port Clinton?” Colton rarely took time off for anything in the summer.

  He nodded, though. “I can if you can.”

  A line in the sand. Just one firmly placed, friendly line. That’s all she needed. But she couldn’t make this new idea that had so captivated Colton that line. She nodded. “Fine.”

  “Do you think Tori will come with us?” he asked. “I don’t think spending a day in the car with me will be high on her list of things to do.”

  “But she’s talked about how much she loves her grandparents, so I think that might win her over.”

  “Let me talk to Dom and get back to you.” He stood there, looking awkward. Once, he’d have swept her into his arms and hugged her good-night.

  Once he wouldn’t have gone home, or if he had, he’d have taken her with him.

  Now, neither of them were exactly sure how to act. “Okay, you talk to Dom and get back to me.”

  “Call if you need anything,” he said, not moving toward the stairs.

  “I won’t.” She took a step toward the front door.

  He said, “Call if Cletus needs anything.”

  She chuckled again. “Cletus.” The name was going to stick. But before she could get too delighted and forget that line she was supposed to be implementing, she shook her head. “Cletus is fine. We’re both fine. We don’t need you.”

  Colton looked hurt by her pronouncement, but Sophie didn’t take it back or apologize. She didn’t need anyone.

  She’d forgotten that for a while, but she remembered now and she wouldn’t forget again.

  * * *

  NEWS TRAVELED through Valley Ridge faster than...

  Sophie had tried to think of the perfect analogy, but she had never been able to. She settled on simply acknowledging news traveled fast. It felt as if Valley Ridge, New York, had utilized a Twitter feed long before that social networking tool was invented.

  By the week after Sophie’s impromptu party, everyone seemingly knew about the baby. She’d spent those seven days receiving congratulations from friends and merely acquaintances. Most left it at that. Some, however, nosed around for updates on her plans with Colton.

  She kept saying they were both thrilled and tried to leave it at that, but for some people there was no leaving it. They kept pushing and prodding, as if her private life was somehow their business. She’d dug through her childhood training and simply asked, “Why would you need to know that?” in response to any question she found intrusive.

  Usually, the nosey person let it go.

  But she found more and more excuses to stay home.

  She used Tori as an excuse, and that was a big part of it. Every moment she could spend with her daughter was precious and she didn’t want to waste one. But a huge side benefit to her evenings at home with Tori was escaping the town gossips.

  Which might be why the idea of leaving town for a day struck her as a good thing. It had nothing to do with the man in the driver’s seat, she assured herself as they sped west over I-90 toward Heritage Bay, Ohio, a small town on the outskirts of Port Clinton. She’d never heard of either place, but she’d heard of Put-in-Bay, so she had a vague idea where they were headed.

  Though they might be separate states, the Lake Erie regions of New York, Pennsylvania and Ohio weren’t very far apart. It took a little over three hours to go from Valley Ridge to Heritage Bay.

  Sophie had always loved driving this tree-lined section of the interstate. Every now and then, Lake Erie’s wide expanses came into sight.

  But if she’d been driving only with Colton, it would have been a long and tension-filled trip. Thank goodness for Tori, who had put aside all teenage moodiness today and simply bubbled over with excitement.

  “Papa can’t wait to talk to you, Colton,” Tori said. “He’s thought about putting in grapevines since he’s so close to the lake. It’s supposed to be good for the grapes?”

  “Our region is one of the best in the world for grapes....” Colton jumped on his bandwagon about how the Lake Erie wine region was on par with some of France’s most respected vineyards. “The market is growing so fast.”

  Tori chuckled. “Yeah, Papa’s going to love talking to you. And Nana will want to feed you. That’s what she does. Feeds people. Dad said the only thing that kept him from weighing as much as an elephant was that Papa made him work off all the food Nana fed him.”

  “I’m looking forward to meeting them, too. Your grandfather can pick my brain about growing grapes, and I’ll pick his about setting up
a CSA.”

  As if she’d suddenly remembered she was talking to the enemy, Tori added an ominous, “Yeah, they’ll probably like you.”

  Sophie could hear the implication that they didn’t include Tori.

  Colton couldn’t have missed the point, but he ignored it, and said, “Of course they will like me. They won’t be able to help themselves. I’m a very likable guy.”

  Tori snorted. “Yeah, I—” she started.

  Sophie cut her off. “Now, both of you, no fighting. It’s not good for the baby.”

  “You’re going to pull that out a lot, aren’t you?” Tori asked on a sigh.

  “Yep.”

  * * *

  THE REST OF THE CAR RIDE went smoother than Colton expected. Tori shared stories of her visits to her grandparents’ farm growing up. He realized they had a lot in common. He’d loved going to his grandparents’ farm when he was a kid. Every child should have a grandparent’s unquestioning love and the freedom a farm provided. The baby would definitely get both from his parents.

  “...and Nana said the moment she saw that screened-in back porch, she knew she was home. Now, Papa, he says you couldn’t prove it by him. Nana gave him her list of projects. He swears he worked decades getting the house fixed up, but Nana says it was only a year. They’re funny. They fight and argue, but they never mean it. Mom calls it squabbling. Mom and Dad do it, too. They’re only teasing. When I was five...”

  Colton kept glancing at Sophie. She was staring out the window, taking in every word that Tori uttered. He could imagine she was storing the words and memories away like those photos and letters she allowed herself to pull out once a year.

  When Tori returned home in the fall, he could picture Sophie taking out those stories of Tori’s, the memories they built this summer, and going through them one by one.

  The thought of her crying over those memories like she’d cried over those letters on Tori’s birthday tore at him.

  Everything in him wanted to be there to comfort her if she did cry. He wanted nothing more than to hold her when the memories hurt.