by Holly Jacobs
“I’m here, Sophie. I’ll do whatever you want. Whatever you need. Even if that means walking away.” Walking away from the thing he wanted the most. “Mattie’s upstairs,” he told her.
She didn’t say anything as she entered into the house.
Now that he’d given her the envelope, he went down toward the barn where Finn and Sebastian waited.
“So, are we ready for a wedding?” he asked as he went into his barn, which once again was decorated for a party.
They’d set up a ministage for the band, and long tables lined a wall where the potluck reception food would go. Tiny white lights were strung on every available beam.
His friends sat at one of the tables.
“What was up with you and Sophie?” Finn asked.
He’d told them he’d be by as soon as he’d seen her. “I needed to give her some legal papers.”
“What kind of papers?”
He shrugged. “Just some papers that spelled out custody and responsibilities for the baby.”
Finn frowned. “Mattie said Sophie wants primary custody.”
“Finn, today is your wedding. Worry about that. You and Mattie had your own custody issues and look how well that turned out. So, trust that Sophie and I will work it out as successfully. Worry about your wedding, not about how I screwed up my relationship with Sophie.”
Sebastian looked angry. “I’ve always liked Sophie. I mean, not liking her would be like not liking a kitten or a rainbow. And I know she helped out my campaign. I mean, her slogan seems to be taking off. And I owe her for that, but damn, Colton, she still pisses me off so much. She’s hurt you. She lied to you. And I know you asked her to marry you again, but she said no. It’s almost as if she thinks she was the injured party. And now she needed you to put a custody agreement in writing? As if she couldn’t trust your word?”
“She has every reason not to trust me. When she needed my love, support and acceptance the most, I walked away. She is the injured party,” Colton said with utter surety. “She’s always been the injured party. Sebastian, you, more than anyone, should get that. Your parents walked away and left you with Hank. They simply left. Hers never left, but they were never there for her. When she needed their love and support, they thought of themselves.” Just like he’d done. He’d thought of his embarrassment at the wedding, not about Sophie’s pain.
“They took Tori away from her. They never even let her hold her daughter.”
He wasn’t sure he truly understood the depths of that pain until now—until he was about to become a parent himself. Just the thought of someone taking the baby from him made him ache. If he closed his eyes, he could see her tears, hear her calling out. “What kind of parent could do that to their child? What the hell kind of love is that? And Tori’s father? I don’t know the whole story. I don’t know if Sophie’s parents bought him off or threatened him, but despite his promises, he deserted her, too. You had Hank. You always knew you had Hank in your corner. And you had me and Finn. Sophie was only a kid and she had no one.”
Colton wanted to go find Sophie now. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her he’d never leave her or the baby. But that wasn’t what Sophie wanted. It wasn’t what she needed.
“After all that, you blame her for not talking about her past? Really? The fact that she found so much to be happy about, that she found the ability to love after all of that only shows what an amazing woman she is. She might not have told me about all her wounds, but she put her trust in me. She counted on me to love her no matter what. To stand by her no matter what came our way. And what did I do? I betrayed that love and faith she put in me as certainly as her parents ever did. As surely as Tori’s father did. I walked away from her when she needed me the most.”
There was nothing he could ever do to make up for that. It was the ultimate betrayal. “Those custody papers I signed? They give her sole custody. Complete control. She needs to know in no uncertain terms that this baby can never be taken from her. Not even by me.”
Colton added, “If she asks me to sign over my farm, the winery, the whole damn thing, I’ll do it,” Colton assured his friends. “If she needs me to walk away and leave her, I’ll be tearing out my own heart, but I’d do it.”
Finn nodded, finally understanding, but it was clear that Sebastian didn’t. “But you’re the injured party,” he maintained in that stubborn Sebastian way. His friend had changed in so many ways since they were kids, but in his blind devotions to his friends, he was exactly the same.
“You’re wrong, Sebastian. You’re as wrong as you can be. And I’m telling you, I signed away my parental rights and hope Sophie lets me be a part of my son’s life. But if she does ask me to walk away, then I need you and Finn to be there for her and the baby. You’ll both have an in because of Mattie and Lily, and I’ll need you to take it. I’ll need you to be what she won’t let me be...someone she can rely on. And I’m not asking. I’m telling. We’ve been friends too many years for you not to do this for me. She loves Mattie and Lily. She won’t turn you away because of them. You’ll be there if I can’t.”
Sebastian still looked as if he wanted to fight someone, but even if he didn’t understand, he nodded. Finn nodded, as well. His friends would be there for Sophie and the baby if he couldn’t, just as Colton knew they would. And something inside him eased knowing that his child would be loved and looked after. “I love her enough to do, and be, whatever she wants and needs no matter what it does to me.” He turned to Finn. “You give me hope. You sued Mattie, and yet she’s marrying you today. And Sebastian, you came home with the biggest chip on your shoulder and, still, you and Lily—”
“We aren’t announcing it until after Finn and Mattie’s wedding is over, but we’re getting married around the holidays,” Sebastian admitted.
“Like hell you’re not announcing it,” Finn finally said. “You’re going to give me a wonderful toast and then I’m going to toast your upcoming wedding. I’m assuming you’re going to ask me and Colton to be your groomsmen.”
Sebastian shrugged, but his huge grin marred the nonchalant gesture. “I guess I’m stuck. I don’t seem to have any other best friends in town.”
They talked about Sebastian’s wedding, and Colton was able to laugh and smile along with his friends because he knew they’d keep their promises to look after Sophie and the baby. And he’d keep his. He’d be whatever Sophie needed, sign whatever she wanted to feel safe. He loved her. He’d never stop. He’d never quit trying to regain her trust and earn her forgiveness.
He loved her completely and unconditionally.
Somehow she’d realize that eventually. And he’d be here waiting when she did.
* * *
“REALLY, MATTIE, you can’t wear flip-flops,” Lily said as Sophie walked into the bedroom.
“Sophie, save me. Tell bridesmaid-zilla there that these aren’t flip-flops, they are most definitely sandals. Very weddingish sandals, as a matter of fact.”
Lily held the white shoes in question in her fingertips, as if she might be contaminated by their unweddinglike nature. “Do they make a noise like this—” she made a clicky sort of sound “—when you walk?”
Mattie ignored Lily’s question and turned to Sophie, her eyes pleading for help. “Sophie?”
“I think they’re beautiful and sensible. Unlike these.” She held her foot aloft showing her high heels. “I love that Mattie knows who she is and what she wants. I’d wear something that comfortable if I wasn’t afraid of wandering into the midst of a corn field and not being able to find my way out.”
“You’re not that short.” Lily sighed and handed over what she considered questionable footwear.
“In high school, our lockers were two parts. Two thin, side-by-side long lockers for coats on the bottom, then two stacked areas for books over top of those. Every year, they assigned me a top locker. I could barely reach it, and couldn’t see inside to save my life. The first two years, I had to get the person next to me
to switch lockers.”
“And after that?” Mattie asked, slipping the sandals onto her feet.
“I discovered that tiny women should learn how to walk in heels. Big heels.”
Mattie looked lovely in the white sundress. Lily had tried to convince her to get her hair styled for the day, but Mattie had put her hair in a simple bun and done her own makeup, as well. “If I get too dolled up, Finn won’t recognize me,” she said. “You wait until it’s your turn, Lily. You’ll realize that all the external stuff doesn’t mean a thing. It’s that guy waiting for you at the end of the aisle that matters.”
For once, bridesmaid-zilla Lily didn’t say a thing. She got a misty, faraway look, and Sophie knew with utter certainty that Lily wasn’t going to be waiting very long for her own trip down the aisle. “Lily?”
“What?” Mattie asked, realizing she was missing something. “What’s going on?”
“Lily and Sebastian are talking about getting married?” Sophie half asked.
“Lily?” Mattie asked again, obviously looking for confirmation.
“We’re not saying anything until after your wedding. We don’t want to steal your thunder.”
“Since when is sharing good news stealing anything, you dork? Oh, man, I can’t wait to see your wedding. You’re going to be a basket case with all your rules about how things should be done. But you’ll see. As long as Sebastian shows up, it will all be fine.”
“Aunt Mattie,” Abbey hollered from the doorway. “You gotta come. Me and Zoe are all ready and want to go.”
“I’d better see to them,” Mattie said.
“And Mickey says he’s going to climb the tree and watch you and Uncle Finn from up high,” she added.
Mattie sprinted for the door. Lily was hot on her heels calling, “I’ll help.”
Sophie wanted to go with them, but first she wanted to check that Colton had indeed signed the papers.
It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him, but she needed to see it in print.
“I’ll be with you in a second,” she called after Lily, who waved and sprinted down the hall.
Sophie held the envelope for a moment. Then slowly opened the flap.
There were her very official-looking custody papers, and all those very legal words were crossed out.
She flipped through the pages. They were all crossed out.
She was thinking that she was going to kill Colton McCray as she flipped to the final page.
“I give complete and absolute custody of this child to Sophie Johnston. The only thing I want more than being an integral part of this child’s life is to be a part of Sophie’s life. For better, for worse. For richer, for poorer. For the rest of my life. But I’m willing to walk away from both of them, from my very heart, if that’s what Sophie needs.”
He’d signed it.
Absolute custody.
No one would ever be able to take this baby from her.
Colton would walk away from her and the baby if that’s what she needed.
Of course he would.
Sophie sat at the window of the room she’d thought would be hers by now and cried.
How could she be so stupid? Colton loved her.
Not just any kind of love. Complete and unconditional love.
She was the one who couldn’t give him that kind of unconditional love back. She couldn’t trust him.
He’d been hurt and angry, but it didn’t take him long to get over that and come back to her. He’d asked her to marry him again not because of the baby, but because he loved her. She reread his handwritten note and traced her finger along the curve of his signature. She cried even harder. Of course he loved her.
He’d been surprised and needed a moment to adjust, but that moment had passed soon enough and he’d wanted to make things right. He wanted things to go back to what they had been. She’d known they couldn’t go back, but it wasn’t until this instant that she realized they could go forward not separately but together.
Tori stood in the open doorway. “Sophie, is everything okay?”
“Come here a minute.” She wrapped her daughter in her arms. “I need you to know with absolute and utter certainty that I love you. That I’m proud of you. I don’t care if you’re a straight-A student. I don’t care if you take apart my toaster and never get it back together. I don’t care if you dye your hair blue, orange or rainbow colors. I don’t care if you become rich and famous or live a quiet ordinary life. All I want for you is a life filled with happiness. I know that your mom and dad are your parents and that they love you. Unconditionally. You’ve had a great life, and I have found peace because I know that. I’ve also found such joy this summer, having you in my life. But I need you to know that no matter where you go or what you do, I love you. I loved you from the moment I found out about you. And all the years without you? I loved you then, too. I simply love you.”
“I love you, too.” Tori hugged her long and tight, then pulled back and asked, “So why are you sitting here crying?”
“I’m crying because...” She sighed. “It’s what I do. For a while, I thought I could hide my emotions away, but they’re here and there’s no hiding them. I was crying because I’m so happy for Mattie, Finn and the kids. They’re a family. And I’m crying for Sebastian and Lily because they’re going to have a wonderful life together, too. A life built on love. I cry at weddings and engagements and all of that. But mostly, I’m crying because I realize you were right a while ago when you told me Colton loved me. He does. Completely. Absolutely.”
“Duh.” Tori grinned. “Took you long enough to figure it out.”
“I was too afraid to admit it.” Sophie had tried to ignore the deep-seated fear that somehow she wasn’t deserving of happiness. It seemed that particular bit of baggage had always been with her. She could ignore it. She could work around it and find some semblance of happiness in spite of it, but it was always there.
Until this very moment.
She did deserve to be happy. She did deserve to be loved.
And she was both.
“But you’re not afraid anymore?” Tori asked.
“I have this very brave daughter who came to find me, not knowing what she’d find. How can I be afraid of telling Colton that I love him when I know exactly what I’ll find?”
“What’s that?” Tori asked.
“His open arms. His love.”
“So, why are you sitting here talking to me?” She gave Sophie a little nudge.
“That is a very good question.” She got up, leaned down and kissed Tori’s cheek. “I’m absolutely in love with the woman you’re becoming.”
Tori snorted. “You’re biased.”
“True, but it doesn’t mean you’re not amazing and perfect. I need you to remember that. Now, pardon me, I’ve got a wedding to attend, and then I have to ask a certain man if he’ll marry me.”
She walked out of the house and stood on the porch a moment, taking in the farm. Colton’s farm. His home and someday soon, if things went the way she thought they would, her home. Their child’s home.
Sophie tried to force herself to be tuned in to Mattie’s wedding. But she couldn’t help thinking, Colton loves me and I love him, in between the bouquets and the walk to the field. She proceeded up the aisle and saw him, and knew he was still waiting for her as much as he had been waiting on their wedding day. It had just taken her longer than she thought it would to get there.
She listened as the minister said the words to Finn and Mattie, and in her heart she was echoing them for Colton. She did promise to love him, to stick by him...
She looked at Mattie, so very much in love with Finn, and Lily just as in love with Sebastian.
She wished she had a mirror because she knew that she had that same besotted expression on her face.
She thought her heart would burst with happiness as she started down the aisle.
The only thing that would make this day better was if their friend Bridget were here. She thought of
Bridget. Her friend had been the bravest woman she’d ever met. She’d faced her death not with fear but with love. With planning for her family. And she’d given her children a new, complete family.
Sophie looked at Bridget’s children, waiting near the arbor with Finn, Sebastian and Colton. Zoe, on the verge of womanhood. Mickey, still a rascal. And Abbey...wearing her princess crown. And she knew that Bridget was very much present here today.
She shot Colton a smile and hoped he could read her thoughts in her expression.
She loved him. And after the wedding—after she celebrated her friends’ marriage—she’d tell him so.
* * *
SOPHIE SCANNED the reception. Sebastian had his arm around Lily, firmly anchoring her to him. She reveled in the fact they’d be announcing their wedding soon. Sebastian had come home...damaged. It wasn’t the physical scars, but some deep emotional ones. She didn’t know the whole of it, but she knew he’d felt guilty about not being with his friends. Somehow Lily had helped him truly heal. And together with Hank, they were a family.
She looked at Tori, who was talking excitedly to her parents. Sophie refused to worry about semantics. Tori was her daughter, but she was Gloria and Dom’s daughter, too. And she knew she was loved. Dom and Gloria caught her eye and grinned. Dom gave her a little thumbs-up sign. She knew that Tori had told them, and she had their approval. She also knew that when Tori found her, she’d not only been reunited with her daughter, she’d gained a family. She waved back.
Yes, she had a family. Colton, the baby, Tori, her parents, their friends...
Valley Ridge as a whole was her family.
Maeve Buchanan, who’d been so good with Tori, was her family.
Mattie’s brother Rich, who was Colton’s partner in the winery, was her family.
Dylan Long, Valley Ridge’s police officer, Stanley Tuznik, the former mayor and current crossing guard. Vivienne and Marilee of MarVee’s Quarters were family.
