by Beverly Rae
Typical Thad. “Oh, come on, ya big fairy. You know I don’t need help with that.” Thad allowed me to call him names because he knew I never meant them in a negative way. Every foul name I called him was filled with unconditional love. Besides, he could sling mud better than I could.
“How would I know that, Miss Bitch-Witch? I’ve never had the displeasure of having you blow me.”
See?
I laughed, my fantasy already making me feel better. “Seriously. I need your help.”
“Oh, honey, you’ve been married less than a week and already needing my fab self’s help?” He tsked at me. “No matter. You know I’m always here for you. What’s up? Or should I say down? Uh-oh. Is that the area of discontent?”
“I did something stupid.” I cringed, reliving the scene in the bedroom.
“So what else is new?”
I shook my head at my imaginary friend. “Kaine brought up the subject of babies and I freaked out. He’s gone. I think he’s in the casino, but he left me alone in the villa.”
The silence in my head lasted too long.
“Thad? Are you there?”
“Not to fear, I’m still here.”
Another pause ensued, giving me time to renew the connection to my inner Thad. Who knew I could channel the gay bard so easily? Maybe I was on the wrong end of the paranormal pranks. “Yoo-hoo, did you get distracted by your newest boy toy?”
“I wish. Seriously, here’s what you do. You get all dressed up and go find him. Once he gets a load of you, he’ll forgive and forget. You know those heterosexual breeders. They’re all balls and no brains.”
Could it be that easy? Or did I just subconsciously want it to be? I bit my lower lip. “And then what? He’ll bring up the subject again. I know he will.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. But in the meantime, you can work on him. And I do mean work on him.”
I heard Thad’s trademark snort and let his words soothe my nerves.
“Get him to see your side of the situation. Oh, and don’t you dare play without a condom.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t. As far as I’m concerned, no glove means no love.” I frowned and wondered. Did I get an expression correct for once? I’m the worst when it comes to getting those things right. “Besides, I’m still on the pill.” Being fearful of pregnancy meant always using at least two forms of birth control.
My interpretation of Thad’s laughter filled my ears, lifting my spirits even more. “Good girl. Now get off the toilet and go find your man before some two-bit cocktail waitress snares him away from you.”
“Will do, boss.” I mentally disconnected, happy and determined to fulfill my mission.
I took his—okay, my—suggestion to heart and hopped into the shower. Making better time than I’ve ever done getting ready, I tugged on the tight red dress Kaine had bought me, shoved the room key in my cleavage and gave myself one last look in the mirror. I looked awesome, even if I did say so myself. Once I found Kaine, I was bound and determined to take his mind off babies and back on to hot steamy sex where it belonged.
When he got a load of the snug bodice accentuating my girls—and hopefully, garnering admiring glances from other men—he’d forget how badly I’d behaved. Then, after making him suffer over dinner first, I’d bring him back and screw the baby thoughts right out of him.
Although I had my new plan firmly in place, I decided I needed a little more bolstering to my ego. And as all girls know, there’s no better way to lift your spirits than to tell one of your girlfriends about your blissful (soon to be blissful again) nuptials. Problem was, I didn’t really have many close girlfriends. At least not like the one I’d had in college. Just thinking about Jennifer Randall made me smile. This time, however, an imaginary convo wouldn’t work. I scooped up my cell phone and punched in her number. She answered on the second ring.
“Chrissy, is it really you? Shit, girl, I haven’t heard from you in such a long time. What’ve you been up to?”
Suddenly, I was back in the dorm scarfing down greasy pizza and dishing dirt with my BFF. Jenn and I may not talk to each other every month—heck, not even every six months—but we’ve always had an indefinable connection. You know. Like a personal bungee cord that keeps pulling us back to each other.
“You won’t believe it, Jenn. I’m getting married.” I don’t know why I suddenly couldn’t tell her I was already married. Instead, I looked at my face in the mirror and scowled. Hadn’t I called her to spread the good news?
I received the obligatory expressions of good wishes. Shoving the question of my marriage denial to the back of my mind, I gushed on. “He’s wonderful, Jenn. I met him at a friend’s birthday party. The party was at the lake, and this thing jumps out of the water, flinging its gruesome body straight for me. Suddenly, this man leaps in between me and this killer fish-thing, and saves my not-so-insubstantial butt.”
I bit my lower lip at the silence that followed. Shoot. Should’ve kept quiet about the creature from the lake, Chrissy. Knowing Jenn, she’s bound to get on the yes-there-really-are-monsters kick and you don’t need that shit right now.
“Are you okay? Were you injured?”
“No. I mean, I’m fine. But this man, my hero, caught this ugly animal seconds before it chomped into me. I didn’t see it because I turned my head, but when I turned back around, the animal was dead. He tossed it in the lake.”
Another silence. What was Jenn thinking? At this point, I was wondering what I’d been thinking to call her.
“C, is there something else you’re not telling me?”
Damn. People have told me that sometimes I need a nudge to spit out my problems. But I didn’t have any real problem, right?
“No. Well, okay, something else did happen. When I looked at him, I thought I saw my hero change.” I winced. Why can’t I keep my trap shut? Why did I bring that up?
“Change? Change how?”
“Oh, I’m just being silly. I must’ve hallucinated out of shock or something.” Way to backpedal, girl. I forced a laugh. “Something like too much booze.”
“C, tell me what you saw. Don’t leave out any details. You never know what might be important.”
Important? Surely she wasn’t thinking this is one of her supernatural things. “Well, I thought—and only for a second, mind you—the man looked like a…a…”
“A what?”
I could hear her struggle to keep her tone level. How I wished I’d never picked up the phone. Make-believe discussions were so much easier to handle. Yet instead of blowing off the whole conversation and hanging up, my mouth took over and left my exit plan in tatters. “A dragon.” I quickly executed damage control. “Now isn’t that the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard?”
“A dragon? Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m not. I mean it was just the way his head seemed to change shape for a second. Like I said, I’d obviously mixed too much celebrating with an overly active imagination. I shouldn’t have any said anything about this. I don’t even know why I did. Let’s talk about fun things, okay? Did I tell you he’s wealthy? Not that that’s why I love him or anything.”
Another damn silence took over. Damn, damn, damn. “Jenn, are you there? Listen, I didn’t realize the time when I called you, but I’ve got to run. I’ll send you a photo and you can see for yourself what a major catch I’ve landed.”
“Yes, do. Hey, C, do me a favor. Send me a pic on my phone.”
Somehow I didn’t think she wanted to gush over my hottie-honey. Worry crept into my heart. “Will do. Bye-bye.” At first, I considered not emailing her one of the photos I had stored in my phone. But I reconsidered once I remembered how tenacious Jenn could be. I could either send her one now or have her call me back a few hundred times and coerce me to send one. Checking through my files, I quickly chose the best photo that I had of Kaine and emailed it.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I ran my hands over my dress, repositioned the heavy artillery and straightened to my full height. I was finis
hed making calls. Now was the time to get my man back.
I left the villa and headed for the casino. Once inside the noisy room, I stopped, glanced around at the throng of people and sought out the nearest bar. I might not have known my new hubby for very long, but I knew him well enough to search the nearest watering hole.
Entering the club off the main gambling area, I found Kaine sitting at a table next to a wall. But my man was not alone.
Her long silky hair ran down her neck and wafted over her shoulders to flow in a cascade of beautiful white rain over the rich upholstery of the chair. The length ended an inch below the seat and rippled with every movement of her head. I stared, tried to find signs of peroxide or split ends, and had to fight back a curse when I didn’t see even one imperfection. I mean, who has hair like that? Although the oversized, luxurious chair hid her body from me, I pictured an oval face with piercing blue eyes and kissable lips on a come-and-get-sex bod.
The woman must’ve said something funny because Kaine leaned back in his chair and laughed. Not chuckled. Oh, no. This was one of his rare full-throated laughs. The lean mean envy machine zapped into high gear in less than it took to growl at her.
What the hell is Kaine doing with some bar floozy? One little argument and he’s off and running into some skank’s open arms? I didn’t care how good-looking this bitch was, he had no right to sit there laughing with her. Had they been together the whole time I sulked in the bathroom?
I threw back my shoulders and strode over to the table. No one was going to take my man, much less some Vegas vixen. Trying to play it cool, I came to a stop behind the White-Haired Witch, tipped my head and regarded Kaine from beneath lowered eyelashes.
He froze, raised drink in one hand, and let his gaze slide over me in an agonizingly slow trek. If he’d looked at me like that at any other time, I would’ve dropped my thong, slipped onto the table and opened wide.
“Oh, there you are, honey-buns. I thought I’d lost my new husband.” When he didn’t respond, I pushed the issue. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?”
The chair turned toward me and I prepared to launch into my first-ever public cat fight. Yet when I saw who sat before me, all the jealousy and anger rushed out of me like a gigantic balloon with a Texas-size hole.
“You must be Mrs. Delcaluca.” The man rose, tossed his TV-commercial glossy hair over his shoulders and offered his hand. I glanced from the stranger to my very amused lover and lifted my limp mitt. He took it and placed his other hand on top of mine.
Eeww. “I, uh…” My tongue stalled.
His eyes sparkled at my distress. Thankfully, he didn’t mention my inability to form a complete sentence. “Mrs. Delcaluca, I am so happy to meet you.” With a quick glance at Kaine, he added, “She should do very nicely.”
Huh? Why did I feel like a heifer in the auction ring? “Thank you.” I think. Since my tongue had finally found its power again, I used it to give me time to study the person in front of me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you. It’s just that I assumed Kaine would be…”
I continued to ramble on, not caring what I said as long as I had time to take in this interesting creature in front of me. His long face, so not the oval one I’d imagined, appeared slightly out of shape, as though his skin barely fit over his skull. A long chin jutted out, making a stubby nose seem even shorter. His dark eyes glittered, reminding me of the cold, uncaring eyes of a reptile. When he smiled—at least I think it was a smile—then closed his mouth, long, pointed teeth barely fit behind thin lips. I shivered, unable to brush off the feelings of disgust and trepidation I felt. Hoping he wouldn’t take offense, I pulled my hand out from between his and forced myself not to wipe my palm on my clothes.
“Chrissy-d—” Kaine stopped, obviously not wanting to use his term of endearment in front of the man. “May I introduce, Mr. Tuo Chow? He’s a former business associate of mine.”
I noticed the brief scowl that flitted across Mr. Chow’s features at my hubby’s use of the word former.
“Former associate, Kaine? I certainly hope not.” Mr. Chow tossed his question over his shoulder, but kept his eyes on me.
Had I caught Kaine doing business on his honeymoon? Because I ran my own business, I could understand mixing work with play, but on a honeymoon? Talk about Type-A personalities. Or perhaps it was simply a chance encounter?
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Chow. Do you do business with my husband often?” Leaning toward appeasing the man, I couched the question in the present tense.
Mr. Chow ran his gaze from my face to my feet and back again in a blatant appraisal of my body. A shiver—and not the good kind—zipped down my spine. “Kaine and I go way back. But, unfortunately, he seems to think we’ve drifted apart.”
The irritated expression on Kaine’s face said it all. Chow may be a former associate, but he was no friend. Inwardly, I breathed a sigh of relief. The farther away we kept from this slimy creature, the better.
“We’re as close as we ever were, Tuo.”
Oooh, s-nap. Kaine had effectively dissed the dude. I instinctively took a step back.
“Then take the bargain I’ve offered you. I want what you have.” Tuo Chow’s eyes danced with danger and locked onto Kaine.
Kaine shook his head. “As I’ve said several times before, the item is not for sale. The Dy—” His gaze flitted to me, then back to Mr. Chow. “My company would never approve of such a transaction.”
A hiss from Tuo sent me shuffling over to my husband, who stood and glided his arm around my waist. Tuo hissed again, his eyes glittering.
“Hey, I’m no doctor, but getting too worked up can be harmful to your health. Don’t you think you might want to calm down?” Like I really cared about this strange man.
Tuo’s fierce gaze drifted from Kaine to me. “Not when your husband is upsetting me.” His hard glare settled on my hubby again. “Give me what I want.”
“Again, Tuo. You ask for the impossible.” Although his body was rigid, Kaine’s voice stayed remarkably calm. I bit back a smile of pride.
“I will have what I want, Delcaluca.”
I gasped and turned to Kaine. In the instant before he replied, I would’ve sworn I saw my husband’s gorgeous green eyes flash and change to a bright gold. Narrowing my sight, I tried to find the gold again, but it was gone.
“Chow, you tread on dangerous ground.” Raw rage masked his calm face. He leaned slightly forward and lowered his tone. “Pursue this and you will regret it.”
Holy crap! Did my sweet hubby just threaten a man? I knew I was staring at Kaine, but I couldn’t help it. Had he meant what he’d said? Or was this how they negotiated in his line of business?
Sending my husband one last longer, louder hiss, Tuo pivoted on his heel and stalked away.
“Wow.” I cocked my head at Kaine and studied him again. The anger left his features in small waves until, at last, my loving husband had returned. “A little harsh, don’t you think? Not to mention how threatening a person can put a damper on any future negotiations.”
He sighed and led me toward the door. “That animal isn’t worthy of your concern.”
I coughed out a short, harsh laugh. “You’d better hope nothing happens to him or someone might think your threat was a serious one. Good thing wives can’t be forced to testify against their husbands, huh?” He remained quiet, leaving my joke hanging in the air. “But what was he so upset about? I mean, it’s only business, right?”
“Of course. He overreacts, is all.”
Although Kaine had briefly explained his line of work, I still had more questions than answers. “Exactly what item were you two talking about?”
He took my arms to pull me around to face him. “Chrissy-doll, we have to have an understanding. You don’t need to know the details of my work and, frankly, I’d rather not discuss it with you.”
Oh, no way! Did he just tell me to mind my own business? I started to fume, but quickly stamped down the
brewing volcano. I’d already had one blow-up with him and I didn’t want another one. Besides, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. I’m sure he hadn’t meant it the way it had sounded.
Unfortunately, however, sometimes my mouth doesn’t listen to my head. “Are you seriously telling me to butt out? What’s next? Patting me on the head and telling me I shouldn’t worry my pretty little head about men’s business?” Oops. Watch out for lava!
Kaine didn’t take my bait. Instead of firing back, he pulled me against him and nuzzled my ear. “Please, Chrissy-doll, let’s not talk about such things. I only want to spend time with you before we have to fly back to Atlanta. From this moment on, let’s not even use the word business, much less talk about it. Okay?”
I am such a softie. Part of me wanted to stay the course, but another part of me wanted that worry-free, work-free honeymoon I’d always dreamed of. So, even though my questions were left unanswered, I couldn’t resist him any more than I could’ve resisted a pint of double-chocolate fudge ice cream. And as is obvious from the expanse of my rear end, I rarely put up any resistance to ice cream. “Okay.”
Still, when I turned to search the direction of Mr. Chow’s exit, I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that we’d be seeing the odd stranger again.
Purple People Eaters and Other Weirdoes
The plane ride home was almost as romantic as the honeymoon. Kaine thought of everything from the chauffeured limousine to the long-stemmed red roses waiting for me on the plane. He also arranged to have soft music, dim lighting and my favorite meal—a footlong chili-cheese dog with a pile of onions on top with real hand-cut greasy French fries—waiting for me. I knew my arteries were probably well on their way to becoming clogged like the drain in a sorority house, but a girl’s got to have some vices, right? Still, the best part was the total absence of any discussion regarding babies. I snuggled into the comfy chair and breathed a sigh of relief.
Kaine, settled into a captain’s chair a short distance from me, flashed me a disarming smile. He continued his perusal of the business papers on his lap and swiveled his chair around, placing his back to me. So the man’s a workaholic. Everyone has a few faults and I can think of a lot worse activities for my new hubby to obsess on.
