by K. A. Linde
Henry made some joke that I honestly didn’t even follow, but I giggled anyway, and he only smiled wider. I glanced up into his blue eyes and saw something that should have made me back off, but I didn’t. I wasn’t sure what it was. Maybe…predatory. But that was ridiculous! This was Le Petit Parlor, not some backroom at The League. Plus, I hadn’t had that much to drink anyway.
A waiter came by and took the bottle of champagne.
I started to protest, but Henry put his hand out to stop me. “Would you like another?”
“We weren’t finished with the first one.”
He smiled at me, and his hand landed on my knee. “We could get another, or we could have the bottle I have chilling at my place. It’s not too far from here.”
“I mean…I’d have to let my brother know.” I knew I sounded like a kid, but I had driven out here with him.
Henry chuckled. “He already knows. It’ll be fine.”
“All right,” I said softly.
I stood to leave, but he pulled me back down toward him. I was nearly sitting on top of him at this point, and good Lord, did he smell good. He was wearing some really, really fancy cologne. He’d probably picked it up in Paris. It was intoxicating, and I was already drunk.
One hand held my leg tightly in his grasp while the other moved my chin up until I was looking at him. There was that look again, but I had no time to think about it as he dropped his lips down on mine.
He was kissing me.
No, I was kissing him back.
No, I wouldn’t do that.
But he tasted so good, and he really was as good of a kisser as I’d thought he’d be. My head swam with the energy of it all.
Yet, something wasn’t right. It wasn’t Henry I wanted to be kissing. It was hot. He was hot. But it just didn’t feel right. Kisses were supposed to feel like a burst of electricity mixed with fireworks and crackling infernos coursing through my system. The intensity and passion was supposed to radiate from me until I couldn’t breathe or think about anything but that moment.
And I’d been kissed like that—like it was life or death to feel his lips against mine, like there was nothing else that would ever exist in the world, like it was the only source of true happiness.
I broke away from Henry with a gasp. His returning smirk told me that he thought that was a good thing. After all, my face was flush, and my heart was pounding. But I felt wrong, all wrong. I felt like spiders had just crawled under my skin.
“I’m sorry. I…I can’t,” I whispered breathily through my drunken haze.
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Does it matter?”
“No,” he decided.
“I’m sorry. There’s someone else.”
Well, that took him by surprise, and he finally released me.
“I didn’t realize you were dating someone else. Funny how that didn’t come up until just now.”
“We’re kind of broken up…” And he’s sleeping around with other people.
He arched an eyebrow. “So, then…you’re not dating someone else.”
“The technicalities of it don’t really matter,” I slurred. “I’m not really all with it. So, it’s probably best for us to stop… whatever this.” I put some more space between us to emphasize my point.
“I was kind of enjoying…this.” He scooted closer to me. “So, maybe you should find out what’s going on with the technicalities. I’d like to get back to this.” His mouth dropped down on mine again. “And I think you’d like to as well.”
I pulled back again and stood. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want whatever he was offering. My parents had set up this entire thing. There was no real attraction between us. As far as I was concerned, this was an arranged-marriage deal that I was being forced into at the hands of my mother.
The heat of his gaze told me that he didn’t believe my unspoken thoughts.
With that, I turned around and walked out.
I would catch a cab home. I couldn’t be there a second longer. The point of the night out had been for me to stop thinking about Grant. And while I had momentarily forgotten him, it was only because I was drunk, not because I felt anything less for him.
The whole thing left me wondering what I was going to do when I had to return to Princeton next week.
Ari had been back from break for three days, and I hadn’t gone over there and busted down the door, demanding to speak to her. I thought that was pretty good.
It helped that I’d gotten a gig at a recording studio in Trenton to pass the time during the day. The money wasn’t that great, but I felt better being in the studio, working and learning, than I did sitting around, obsessing about Ari. Not to mention, I didn’t have to think about whatever the fuck we were going to do with the band. We hadn’t heard from Hollis since New Year’s Eve, and I wasn’t all that surprised. At least, I still kept in touch with Donovan. The Drift would be in New York this afternoon for some talk-show appearance, and we were set to chill afterward. It meant another way to keep my mind off of Ari.
Though, I knew it was only a matter of time before I made my way over there to try to convince her that she had made a terrible mistake. Until my resolve broke, I was going to try to give her the space she had requested. I didn’t know what I’d do if she turned me down. I’d probably keep trying.
I left the studio early and drove home to shower before going into the city. The guys were playing video games in the living room, and it all felt so normal. It was a nice change of pace from how we’d all been acting since New Year’s.
Miller nodded at me when I walked in the door. “How was work?”
I shrugged. “I bet we could get some free studio time next week.”
“Nice.”
“What are you up to tonight? I’m meeting up with Donovan in the city for a few drinks. You interested?”
Miller shifted his gaze and fidgeted in his seat. I looked over at McAvoy, and he also seemed uncomfortable. Even Vin wouldn’t meet my eyes.
“Okay…what’s going on?”
“We already have plans,” Miller said.
“Doing what?”
“We’re, uh…going over to Ari’s place tonight—”
“What?” I bellowed, completely blowing up. “You’re going over there? I haven’t even been over there!”
McAvoy sighed and nodded. “I’m sort of seeing her roommate, Gabi, and Vin is seeing Cheyenne. Miller was planning to hang out with Shelby.”
I stared at Miller, waiting for him to respond. “What about Sydney?”
“Sydney wants what she wants when she wants it. Right now, she’s back in Knoxville, probably fucking half the school. And before you blow up on me, just think about it. You know it’s true.”
“Whatever. So…you’re all just going over to hang out at Ari’s house, and I’m just here?”
“Bro, we want you there,” McAvoy said.
“But she doesn’t,” I finished for him.
McAvoy shrugged in apology.
Ari didn’t want me there. She hadn’t asked for me. Fuck, things were really over.
“All right,” I said, slowly backing away. “I’ll just go visit Donovan in the city. You guys have a good time.”
The guys looked at me with varying levels of sympathetic faces. They knew I’d been fucked-up about Ari. They knew I’d been beating myself up about it. But there was nothing to be done.
I’d just go see her later this week. I’d let her tell me to my face that it was over, and then I’d find a bottle and drown myself in it.
I met Donovan in the penthouse suite he was staying in. He was shirtless with a bottle of whiskey out in front of him and his guitar in his lap. The rest of the band was there as well with nearly naked girls hanging all over them. Donovan had two girls in nothing more than sheer lingerie sitting at his feet, staring up at him with idol worship.
“McDermott!” Donovan said, waving me over. “Just in time!”
“For what?”
“
The party.”
It appeared that the party was already well underway, but Donovan might be on something a little harder than that whiskey sitting in front of him.
“Didn’t realize I’d be walking in on a…pajama party,” I said.
“Guess the invite got mixed up. Girls, maybe you can help McDermott out of his shirt?”
The girls got up automatically. There was no hesitation. They were just going to take my clothes off because Donovan had told them to.
“Uh…no. I got it.”
I slipped out of my shirt, and the girls looked disappointed, like they really had wanted to do it for me.
I dropped into the seat next to Donovan. “Quite a place you have here.”
“Yeah. Hollis wanted the best.”
“Nice.”
I crossed my arms and looked at all the girls. I knew that there were girls like this at the shows, and damn, it was pretty easy to come by girls who wanted to fuck me. I was sure it was easier to get girls for The Drift, who were legit rock stars, but still, it wasn’t even dinner yet, and there were at least thirty hot-as-shit girls in lingerie in his hotel room.
“Where do the girls come from?”
Donovan was playing a new tune on his guitar, and he stopped at my question. “Oh, Hollis finds them. Most are regulars. I mean, you know Jaci,” Donovan said with a wink as he pointed at a girl across the room, who was wearing nothing but a black lace thong.
“She looks familiar,” I said. I remembered Vin had wanted to get with her, and Hollis had tried to push her on me, but that was it.
“Well, you fucked her on New Year’s. I’d hope she looked familiar.”
Time froze. I reacted without another thought. “What? I didn’t fuck anyone on New Year’s!”
Donovan gave me a knowing look. “Oh, come on. Were you that fucked-up? You left with her right after you got offstage. Hollis saw you leave.”
Anger started to settle into the pit of my stomach. “I went home after the show. Straight home. I didn’t have anyone with me.”
I didn’t know why I was trying to defend this to Donovan. He probably thought it was good that I’d fucked one of the groupies after the show. That was commonplace after all.
“All right, man. Whatever you want me to believe. I won’t fault you for fucking a groupie. I got some good action with that Ari girl you were hanging out with at the lodge.”
All semblance of control that I’d had earlier evaporated. “What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked, rising to my feet. “You fucked Ari? I’ll fucking kill you.”
Donovan raised his eyebrows at my reaction, but he didn’t actually look that surprised. He looked smug. “Big reaction for the status of one groupie.”
“Ari is not a groupie. She’s my girlfriend,” I growled, fighting for control.
“She didn’t seem like anyone’s girlfriend when she was backstage at the New Year’s Eve show,” Donovan said, standing up to face me. “If you get what I mean…”
I didn’t think. I just acted. I lunged for Donovan, catching him off guard and connecting my fist with his face. It snapped his head backward, and he stumbled into the chair. But I wasn’t finished. All the pent-up anger from the weeks without Ari came flooding into me in an overwhelming quantity. I couldn’t even control it all. He had touched her, and I would fucking destroy him, just like I’d said the first time he’d tried something.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Donovan yelled.
All that did was bring more attention on us, but I was too far into this to care.
I’d lost the element of surprise, and Donovan was already back up on his feet. I reached for him again, but he blocked my punch. I pivoted and got a shot to his kidney that caused him to double over. I sent my fist into his face again. He fell flat on his back in the hotel room.
The rest of the band showed up at that moment and dragged me away from Donovan. I could see his face was bloody, but I hadn’t broken anything. My chest was heaving, and all I could think about was the bloodlust. He couldn’t touch her. I’d fucking murder him.
“Get him out of here!” Donovan cried as girls flocked to his side to check on him.
“I told you that I’d destroy you if you touched her, you motherfucker.”
“You’re fucking insane. She’s just some girl. If you ever get signed—and that’s a big fucking if at this point—you’re going to see this for what it really is. You’re going to leave her, or she’s going to get tired of you cheating on her. You’ll look back on this moment and know I was fucking right.”
“That just shows how different you and I really are, Donovan. Because I love Ari. I respect her. I’d give her the world, the moon, the stars, the whole fucking universe. When I get signed, and I really do mean when,” I growled, shaking off the guys who were holding me, “I’m coming for your ass, just to prove you wrong.”
I already had organic chemistry homework.
It was a bit of relief to be back on a normal schedule again. The break had seemed like some kind of strange dream, something someone else had gone through and not me. I’d lost my virginity, lost my boyfriend, been kissed by a rock star, and been propositioned by someone whose relationship with me bordered on an arranged marriage.
At least some things always stayed the same—like homework. I had a tough class schedule this semester, and I needed to make sure that I stayed on top of everything. There was an introductory study session later tonight. I couldn’t decide if it was better to get involved from the get-go or try to do everything myself…like normal.
A knock at the door kept me from deciding. My heart rate shot through the roof as I wondered if today would be the day that I’d have to face Grant. I’d decided that I would do it this weekend. I’d let him break my heart this weekend.
Cheyenne came out of her room and jumped when she saw me. “I thought you were going to a study session!”
I narrowed my eyes. “I decided not to.”
Shelby and Gabi appeared a minute later. They were equally surprised to find me sitting in the dining room. They shot questioning looks at Cheyenne.
“What’s going on?”
“We’re having some people over to watch a movie,” Shelby said.
“Some people…as in?”
Gabi sighed. “I invited McAvoy over. We saw a lot of each other over break, and well, I guess we’re kind of together.”
I just stared at my friends. McAvoy…and that probably meant Vin and Miller and…
I shot out of my seat. “Are you saying Grant is going to be in our house?”
“No!” Shelby and Cheyenne said at once.
Gabi was shaking her head. “We told them not to bring him, but we thought you’d be gone.”
“You can’t just hide this stuff from me! I don’t want to be blindsided that his friends are going to be here in our house!” I started packing up all of my papers and throwing the stuff into my backpack.
The guys started knocking again, and Shelby rushed over to answer it.
Cheyenne gave me a pleading look. “Please don’t freak out about this.”
“Freak out? Why would I freak out? It’s every day that my roommates invite over my…whatever. This is stupid,” I grumbled. “Fuck Grant McDermott.”
Cheyenne giggled, and I glared at her.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have made that dirty,” she said.
“I swear, you just can’t help yourself.”
Our conversation cut off as Miller, McAvoy, and Vin walked into our apartment. They looked pretty shocked to see me there as well, so the girls must have said I’d be gone. Well, lucky for them, I was leaving.
“Hey, Ari,” Miller said cordially.
I nodded my head at him and then continued to pack up.
The group moved to the living room, and I stomped into my room to find my boots. It was still cold out there. When I returned, they were all cuddled up together. Cheyenne was sitting on Vin’s lap on the couch. Gabi had her head on McAvoy’s should
er. Shelby and Miller were sitting side-by-side. I wondered how much Shelby knew about Miller and Sydney, but I didn’t care to bring that up right now.
After grabbing my peacoat off the back of the chair, I put it on and threw my backpack over it.
“Hey, Ari?” McAvoy said.
Our eyes met across the room.
“Yeah?”
Miller sat up straight. “McAvoy, no.”
“Shut up, Miller. No one else is going to talk about it. We need our brother back, so seriously, just shut up.”
I resolutely stood there, wondering what the hell they were talking about.
“So, are you going to talk to Grant?”
“It’s not like he wants to talk to me.”
“Really?” McAvoy asked incredulously. “That’s the line of reasoning you’re going to go with?”
“What else am I supposed to think?” I asked, feeling my frustration turning to anger. “If Grant wants to talk to me, he knows where to find me.”
“Maybe you should remind him. He’s been acting like a fucking idiot since you left, and he might have forgotten.” McAvoy sighed and shook his head. “We’ve been trying to get signed for years, and now that we’re this close, Grant is talking about quitting because he’s so fucked-up about your relationship. Maybe think that over, and stop being so selfish.”
My mouth dropped open. “Selfish? He cheated on me!”
“Not the way we’ve heard the story,” Miller piped up. “I think you have a lot of things to talk about.”
“Whatever,” I ended lamely. I didn’t know what else to say. There was too much of what they’d said that didn’t make sense, and I needed to process.
Everything that the guys had said was swirling around in my mind. Grant was thinking about quitting ContraBand? Why the hell would he do that? He loved the band and his brothers and everything about music. It simply couldn’t be about me. That made no sense.
And the guys had said that he hadn’t cheated? I’d been there on New Year’s. Donovan and Hollis had told me that he’d gone off with someone else, and he’d never messaged me. I’d never messaged him…but still. It seemed likely with Grant’s track record. Did the guys just not know he’d slept with someone on New Year’s? And if he hadn’t slept with someone…did that mean I’d cheated with Henry?
