Strawberry Wine

by E. Jamie

  “No, I remember the only time you ever had a sense of humor was if you were

  hammered.”

  The comment was too close to their old life, and he saw a flicker of sadness in her eyes. Did she miss it?

  He watched her stiffen and push against him so that he had to take a step back, and then she slipped away from him.

  “I know what you’re saying, though. They know we’re on to them, and so they came after me. Okay. So I’ll stay with Karl, I guess.” She shrugged.

  He felt like someone had punched him in the gut. “Who the hell is Karl?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest and met his gaze, holding it for a long moment before she replied. “He’s a friend. A cop. So, see? You’ve got nothing to worry about. If I’m too much of an amateur to take care of myself, Karl will be there.”

  I just bet, Caleb thought, clenching his jaw. “No.”

  “No, what?” Laura asked blankly.

  “You’re not staying with…Karl,” he informed her, the name sticking in his throat.

  “Oh, for shit sakes, Caleb. I’m going home and packing up my stuff.” She turned back towards the door and pushed it open.

  “Yeah. Then you’re coming to my place,” he forced himself to announce, before he could change his mind.

  She turned so fast that she crashed into him. He held on to her arms, careful to keep his fingers away from the bandage on her bicep.

  “What? What the…what?”

  Her eyes were round as saucers, and Caleb went very still, unsure if he’d just made the worst mistake. Those eyes had always haunted him, beautiful as liquid emeralds. Now he couldn’t speak; he was mesmerized. He couldn’t breathe, wanting to just sink into the depths of those eyes.

  “We…” His voice cracked, and he felt fifteen again and could have kicked himself. He tried again. “We’re working together on this. It just makes sense.”

  “No it doesn’t!” Laura cried, jerking away from him. “It makes the absolute opposite of sense. It’s…insane, Caleb. You hate me. Why the hell would you even suggest that we—”

  “You said at my mom’s house that you wanted to tell me what happened.”

  She bit her lip and shook her head. “Right, and if I remember correctly, you pretty much told me to shove it.”

  Caleb closed his eyes, remembering what else he had said. You, Laura Thatcher, are nothing but a whore. With the passage of time, getting over the shock of seeing her again, he could concede that had been out of line. “I know. I should have heard you out. I don’t know if I could stand to hear it now, but… Just think, okay? We have a lot of crap to figure out in addition to working on this case together. It’s easier to just come to my place than going back and forth.”

  “Easier?” Laura wrapped her arms around herself and laughed bitterly. “Oh, you must be drunk or high or I don’t know what but, God, Caleb.”

  “Just until we wrap this case up. You want to explain yourself, fine. I can’t imagine what the hell your excuse is, but…I’ll listen. Just don’t make me go home and wonder if someone is going to try and take you out again.”

  He saw her eyes glisten with tears, and she looked away from him as if to hide them.

  She’d left him. What the hell did she have to cry about? What the hell had made her leave him if she was so torn up about it? There were so many questions that just seemed to pile up on top of each other and add to the fire of his fury because he was so frustrated. Knowing how good they had been, and then she was just gone.

  “Okay,” she replied in a small voice, looking up at him with those damp eyes, and again he wondered if he was making the biggest mistake of his life.

  Chapter Six

  “Oh God, can I get ringside seats to that? Pleeeeeaaassseee?” Karl begged, sitting on Laura’s bed while she packed up her belongings and explained about Caleb’s plan.

  “This isn't funny!” she insisted. The knot in her stomach tightened, and she questioned agreeing to stay at Caleb’s apartment for the hundredth time.

  “Are you kidding me? You're telling me that, if my ex-girlfriend wanted me to move in with her, you wouldn't be laughing your ass off at me?” he countered.

  “Yes, I would. But this is me, and you're not allowed to find humor in my crisis.” Laura snapped, smacking Karl with her brown leather jacket. “I hate this job. I swear, after we wrap up this case I’m moving to a farm somewhere and raising goats!” She flopped down on her bed and leaned her head on his shoulder. “God, Karl. What am I gonna do?”

  “Well, seems to me you've got two choices. You can keep carrying around this secret like a cancer when you look him in the eye day after day, or you can finally come clean. I’ve seen what it’s done to you all these years, Laura, and it’ll just be harder having to face him every day. You went to his mom’s house to tell him anyway. Why not now?”

  Laura covered her mouth with a hand and tried to blink back tears. “Damn it. Goddamnit. He’s going to hate me, Karl.”

  Karl wrapped an arm around her. “I don’t want to pour salt on the wound, hon, but he pretty much already does. You’ve got nothing else to lose.”

  “I don’t know.” She sniffled. “I kinda got the feeling that lately he might…not hate me so much anymore. Maybe it’s working together or just wishful thinking, but…”

  “Okay, Laura, look, let’s say he is feeling something for you again. Do you really want to rekindle your romance with this terrible secret between the two of you, or would you rather just come out with it and finally unburden yourself?”

  She wiped her eyes. “How the hell are you so damn sage after three failed marriages?”

  He laughed. “Oh, it’s easy to dispense advice when you’re not the one who has to actually follow it—not so easy to hold the mirror up to yourself. But honey, I wouldn’t trade places with you for all the hookers in Amsterdam.”

  She giggled and jumped when there was a knock at her door. That could only be one person. Laura shivered and got to her feet. Karl followed her out, and with clammy hands, she pulled the door open.

  Caleb’s eyes met hers, and when his gaze moved to the person behind her, Laura saw the cold flicker of jealousy in his eyes. Maybe it was stupid, but it made her feel hopeful. If he was jealous, maybe that meant…well, she didn’t dare finish that thought. It felt too much like tempting fate.

  “I’m Karl.” Her friend came forward and extended his hand.

  Caleb hesitated but then took his hand.

  “So you’re the Sarge’s kid, huh?”

  Laura winced, not sure if Caleb still got irritated when people brought up his father. He clenched his jaw but just nodded.

  “Ready to go?” he asked her.

  Laura gave Karl a last wary glance. “Now or never,” she replied in a trembling voice.

  ****

  “I’ll take the couch,” Caleb informed her after taking her bag and carrying it into what Laura guessed was the bedroom.

  “Oh, hell, you don’t have to do that. I’ll sleep on the couch,” she assured him, looking around the sparse one-bedroom apartment. It smelled faintly of beer and…Doritos? She fought a small smile. Typical bachelor.

  There were no feminine touches, which made her breathe a little easier. Whatever relationship Mike had referred to years ago was over now. Or at least she thought so. Caleb hadn’t been forthcoming, and Laura hadn’t dared to ask.

  The couch was brown leather, and the floor was gray carpeting. A black entertainment center took up most of the front wall, and there was a small kitchenette behind her.

  She peeked into the bedroom, watching him prop the bag next to a wooden sliding door closet. Laura reminded herself that this was a temporary arrangement. Someone knew they were getting close and wanted to keep them from discovering the truth. Once the truth came out, the criminals would be behind bars, the danger would be over, and she and Caleb could go back to their lives. Separately.

  “I think you’ve got enough room for your stuff. Let me know if
you need an extra shelf or more hangers or something.” Caleb came towards her, and Laura backed up and turned while he led her to the kitchen. “Hungry?”

  “Mmm? Yeah, sure,” Laura replied, trailing after him. “Look, Caleb, you didn’t have to do this. I could have taken care of myself—”

  “I didn’t want to take the chance, okay? You always could take care of yourself. That’s not what this is about. Beer?” he asked, opening the fridge.

  She knew what it was really about. The truth. Their truth. The truth she had denied him because she had been too much of a coward. She’d built a wall around herself to protect her from that truth, but now she felt she like she was scattered, like the bricks of the wall were starting to chip away. He was going to know soon because the wall would come down. He’d know, and he would hate her.

  Well, more than he already did, anyway.

  Karl was right, though. If he already hated her, what the hell was there to lose now? Her mouth went dry, and her voice cracked when she gathered up her courage to speak. “Caleb—”

  He lifted his head and shook it. “No.”

  The flicker of panic in his eyes told her all she needed to know. No. Not yet.

  Laura pressed her lips together and remained silent, a lead weight in her stomach.

  ****

  She sat next to him in the station while they looked at the tapes from the security camera at the Western Union for the money transfers they had found receipts for. They tried to capture who had come in at the times stamped on the receipts. Laura paid special attention to the times on the receipts, and on twelve different occasions, someone different walked into the building. The money was being wired to everywhere from Thailand to the Philippines to as far as Russia.

  “Well, there are your child trafficking meccas of the world,” Laura said, disgusted.

  They were able to capture the faces of at least four of the men who’d walked into the building. She watched Caleb working on the computer. He might not look like the same straight-laced brainiac she had grown up with anymore, but it warmed her heart to see a little glimpse of that sweet boy now and then.

  He checked the captured images against the computer database they had of criminals and clapped his hands together when one of them matched a member of Jackson’s gang.

  “So there’s our proof Jackson’s in on it. But where is this money going?” Laura asked.

  “We’re getting the account numbers checked out and should have the addresses any day now. I say we pay our ex-employee from the agency another visit.” Caleb grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair.

  “Okay, but can we please grab something to eat first? Not that mini-mart burritos two days in a row aren’t appetizing, but it’d be nice to see something on a plate,” Laura pleaded.

  He tossed her an amused smile over his shoulder, and her heart skipped a beat.

  For that brief moment, he looked at her the way he used to, and she wanted to soak in it like a flower being showered with cool, clean water on a blistering hot day.

  ****

  “Look, I have nothing else to do with that place anymore. Why the hell do you two keep bothering me?” Stephen Phillips asked, scowling, when he opened the door to see the two of them standing on his porch.

  “Must be your raw sexual magnetism,” Laura joked, pushing her way into the house past the short, balding man. “Just can’t stay away.”

  He handed them each a cup of coffee and sat across from them on his black armchair.

  “We just wanted to ask you a few extra questions. Play catch up,” Laura told him.

  “We arrested this guy, and he gave us your boss’s…right, ex-boss’s name. Any idea why?”

  “Look, I don’t want to get involved in any of the shit that’s going on there. Why do you think I left?”

  “I thought you were fired?” Caleb asked, leaning forward.

  Stephen groaned. “Yeah, I was, but trust me, I was only too happy to get the hell out of there.”

  “Why?” Caleb and Laura asked in unison.

  He shook his head. “I’ve got a family, you understand? I’ve got to protect them, and there is no way those guys can find out I’m talking to you.”

  “You have a family. Kids?” Laura pressed. “If you have any idea that the agency is involved in some kind of abuse, how can you just sit there and allow someone else’s kids—”

  “Hey, that is not my problem!” Stephen shouted, his face flushed. He leapt to his feet. “I am doing what I have to protect the people I love. No one else comes before that.”

  “Right, not your problem,” Laura hissed. She looked at one of the pictures on a shelf of elegant carved wood. She picked up the one with a little boy and little girl and showed it to him. “Some little girl the same age as your daughter is being shipped off to God knows where to endure God knows what, and it’s just not your problem!” By now she was shouting and trembling, and she could feel Caleb’s hands on her arms pulling her back. All she could see was the little girl she had been and how no one had helped. Until she had met the McKinney’s, it hadn’t been anyone’s problem, so if anyone had known, he or she had behaved like Phillips and hadn’t gotten involved.

  “Hey, it’s okay. Calm down. Easy,” Caleb soothed behind her, and Laura’s anger suddenly faded, replaced with the strongest urge to cry. “We’re not asking you to put your kids in danger. We can make sure your name never gets out about this. We’re just asking for whatever information you can give us.”

  “Yeah, like the guys who are in charge of this don’t know how to get around the system,” Phillips sneered. “Jesus Christ.”

  “How far up does this go?” Caleb demanded.

  The man snorted at that. “This is over. I want you two to leave, and I don’t ever wanna see you again.”

  “Well tonight, I hope when you kiss your little girl goodnight that you’re able to sleep, knowing how many other little girls are never gonna have their mommies and daddies tuck them in. You think about that!” Laura snapped.

  Stephen shook his head but met her gaze, and she felt a beat of hope at the hesitation she saw there. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. “Look, just look at the adoption records. You’ll see that there are more children brought to them than are actually placed. That’s all I can tell you. Now please, I beg you, okay? Get out and leave me alone.”

  They drove back to Caleb’s apartment discussing different ways they could get into the adoption agency. True to his word, he stopped at a local burger joint, and they sat down to a meal. Not a date. Of course not, Laura told herself, but it was so nice to just sit across from him and have them be at ease. Every once in a while, he seemed to remember what she had done and the soft look or occasional smile would fade, but he didn’t ask her yet. So she waited.

  The question came that night. She woke up thirsty and was on her way to the kitchen for a drink of water.

  He’d fallen asleep with the television on, or at least she’d thought he had. The living room was dark, the only light coming from the T.V. The sound was low, so the sound of his voice startled her as she walked past the back of the couch on her way to the sink.

  “Why?”

  Laura froze, debating whether should she climb up onto the pale blue counter and jump out the window or try and shove herself down the garbage disposal.

  “All this time, that question has haunted me. After everything we were to each other. Everything we did. Just, why?”

  Laura came back around to stand in front of him, and when he sat up, she wished she hadn't. He was shirtless, and they usually seemed to make a concentrated unspoken effort to stay fully clothed around each other. His dark hair was in disarrayed tufts, and his eyes were so sad. Pain. That was the same look she'd seen the second before he kissed her in his mother’s house. The memory of his horrible treatment of her, justified or not, still hurt, and she couldn’t resist placing some of the blame on him. “It's not like you chased me to the ends of the earth, now is it? I left, and I be
t you blew a sigh of relief. 'Wow, glad I wrangled myself out of that crazy Thatcher girl.'”

  He grabbed her hand and tugged her down next to him, his blue eyes nearly black with fury. “Don’t even joke about that, damn you!” His fingers tightened painfully around her, but then Caleb seemed to realize he was hurting her, because he groaned in frustration and let her go. “How the hell did we get here? How did this happen to us, of all people?” He didn’t look at her but down at the carpet, and she knew he wasn’t really looking at that either.

  “I tried to tell you. I know we need to hash this out. Yes, you deserve answers. But Caleb, it's three o'clock in the morning. Do you wanna have this out now?”

  “Yes. If not now, when, Laura? I might lose my damned nerve in the morning. After this case is over, we're both going back to our lives.”