by M A Comley
“Wow, this is lovely. Hey, you never brought me to anywhere as special as this when we were together.”
“Sorry. It wasn’t really my idea. At least, I don’t think it was. To be honest, I can’t remember whose idea it was to book this place. I regret doing it now though, after what’s occurred.”
“It’s no good having regrets, Martin. You need to get past how it happened or how you could have prevented it, you should move on. I don’t mean for you to forget about our baby or that she is out there… missing, but you should let go the cause of her disappearance. Otherwise, it’s going to become a burden that will end up blighting your life.”
Martin nodded. “I hear you. It’s so hard, though.” He rubbed his face. “Okay, let’s go upstairs.”
Debs peered into the small downstairs rooms and caught his arm as he passed her in the hallway. “There’s a note on the kitchen table.”
“I’ll get it on the way down.” He continued on his journey up the creaking, narrow staircase to the master bedroom where Adele’s pretty pink suitcase was lying on the bed. He sucked in a steadying breath and walked towards it. Louise had packed his daughter’s belongings for him. Tears misted his vision. He checked the small wardrobe and all the drawers in the room to ensure nothing had been missed. Then he got down on all fours and checked under the bed. His heart almost stopped. There, sitting upright, against the wall, was his daughter’s doll, the one she loved and preferred to take to bed with her at night. He pulled it towards him and cradled it in his arms.
Debs arrived in the doorway and sniffled. “Lucy Lou, she never goes anywhere without that doll.”
He whimpered. “She didn’t take it with her when we went to Wast Water, why? It looks as though it’s been placed here for us to find.”
Debs wiped away the stream of tears cascading down her cheeks. “I don’t know.”
Martin’s devious mind went into overdrive. Did Louise do it? Intentionally place the doll there, in the hope that he would find it? How callous of her, if she had.
“What is it? I know when you’re thinking something, spit it out.”
“It’s as though someone was intentionally goading me, us, by placing the doll there. Her treasured companion.”
“No, you’re wrong. That’s… unthinkable, I refuse to even consider it. I just can’t, Martin.”
“I’m sorry, Debs. The truth always hurts in situations like this. I stick by what I said.”
“Louise? You think she did this? I don’t want to believe another mother could be that cold-hearted.”
“Either Louise or one of her kids.”
Debs shook her head vigorously. “No, you have to be wrong. I bet Adele placed the doll there in the morning before she left. It’s the type of thing she used to do, sorry, she does. Line all her teddies and dolls up when she’s not playing with them. Don’t think badly of people just because something doesn’t feel right to you, Martin.”
“Oh, I don’t know. What I do know is that I failed my daughter. I don’t know her as well as I should.”
Debs hugged him. “If you’re feeling guilty about that, then I should be partially to blame as well.”
He squeezed her and rested his chin on top of her head. “What’s the point… in any of this? Like you said, the bitterness will only end up eating away at me. It’s so hard not to be angry, knowing that Adele is out of our grasp and that something bad could have happened to her.”
At that moment, his mobile rang. He pushed Debs away and groaned when he noted the name on the screen. “It’s Morgan.”
Debs wrinkled her nose. “You’d better answer it, she’s not the type to give up if you don’t. I’ll go downstairs, leave you to it.”
Martin smiled. Debs and his sister, Morgan, had never really got on in the past. “Hello, Morgan.”
“Why didn’t you ring me? I’ve just seen the story running on the news.”
“I’ve been a little preoccupied, as you can imagine.”
“My God, that poor child. Any news yet? Are the police there?”
“No news and, yes, of course the police are here. Plus the Mountain Rescue Team, also the dive team, and no, no one has found her yet.” The more he relayed, the more it affected him. He was on the verge of tears, trying to hold it together.
“There’s no need for you to snap at me, Martin. I’ve taken the trouble to call you, the least you can do is keep a civil tongue in your head.”
“Get off your high horse, Morgan. I don’t need this shit from you.”
“I’m not flinging any shit, all I’m asking is for an update on my niece’s whereabouts.”
“What? The niece you’ve barely spoken to since she was born?”
“Bollocks. There’s no talking to you at times. You drove this family apart, you’d be wise to remember that, Martin. I’m trying to make amends here, although why I’m bothering is bloody beyond me.”
“Morgan, two words: FUCK OFF!” He jabbed his finger at the End Call button, picked up Lucy Lou and Adele’s case and went into the other bedroom to pack his case, only to find Louise had done it for him. After checking that nothing had been left behind in the drawers, he descended the stairs to find Debs standing at the bottom, open-mouthed. “What? You heard? She deserved it. I can’t be dealing with people coming out of the woodwork like that and having a go at me. I’m well aware that her getting in touch will lead her to blaming me, eventually.”
“I know things have always been tense between you, but maybe you should cut her some slack; perhaps, this was her way of trying to make amends for not getting in touch.”
Sighing, he nodded. “Possibly. I’ll ring her back once things have settled down a bit. I’m not in the mood to listen to her condescension right now. Are you ready to go?”
“Yes, but you’re forgetting one thing… the note.”
After placing the cases on the floor, he walked into the kitchen and opened the sheet of paper which had been folded in half and read it.
Martin,
You probably won’t want to read this at this terrible time, but I wanted to reiterate how sorry I am. Had I known this would happen, I would have undoubtedly kept a closer eye on Adele.
I get that you hate me right now, I don’t blame you. But I swear to you, you can’t possibly hate me more than I hate myself.
I hope, eventually, that you will be able to find it in your heart to forgive me. And most of all, I hope we can overcome this one day and possibly pick up where we left off.
Always remember the good times we’ve shared over the past few months and how much I love you.
You mean everything to me and more.
Love you always,
Louise.
His stomach somersaulted, but his heart remained hardened to the words. That’s all they were, after all. If she’d loved me, she would have taken better care of my daughter. How can I possibly forgive such incompetence? He drifted back into the hallway and smiled at Debs. “It was nothing worth sharing. Only Louise having the audacity to plead for forgiveness.”
“I’m in a difficult position; I know she broke up our family in the first place by having an affair with you, but when I saw her earlier, she looked distraught, love. Maybe you should truly think things over where she’s concerned. Don’t let it fester before you speak to her again.”
He kissed the top of her head and whispered, “I know who I want, and it’s not her. Are you ready?”
Shocked, Debs nodded and walked back outside. Martin followed her out and paused. On the horizon, he could see the hills which framed Wast Water; their bleakness seemed to be drawing him back there.
Debs still hadn’t spoken, she got in the passenger seat beside him and secured her seatbelt.
“Everything all right?” he tentatively asked.
“I don’t know, is it?”
He shrugged. “Let’s talk about it another time. I’m desperate to get back there. I need to drop the keys off first, it’s only up the road.”
Deb
s only said one word: “Okay.”
He called ahead to make the arrangements. The owner’s house was five minutes away. Martin exited the car and handed the keys to the woman who was standing at the gate to meet him. “Sorry we couldn’t stay; in the circumstances, I’m sure you’ll understand.”
“Of course. I’m so very sorry this happened to your family. Is there any news? Have the police any idea how she went missing?”
“Not yet, well, maybe. They’re now thinking along the lines that Adele has possibly been abducted.”
The woman held her hand up to her cheek. “Oh my, that’s simply awful. Who would do such a thing in this beautiful area?”
“That’s what we’re hoping to find out. I have to go. Thanks for everything.”
“Don’t mention it. I’d normally say I hope to see you again in the near future, but I doubt you’ll want to return to this area again.”
“I think you’re right, not unless it’s to pick my baby up. Thanks again.” He ran back to the car and pulled away. As he drove off, he watched the woman wave and then go back inside the house.
After a few minutes of silence, Debs muttered, “She seemed nice.”
“Yes. She was cut up about Adele. I couldn’t stick around for long, I felt like she was going to bombard me with uncomfortable questions.”
“It’s human nature to be interested when something like this occurs, I suppose.”
“I wouldn’t sink to that level, if someone else was having to contend with this shit.”
“Everyone is different, you know that.”
“True enough.” Rain splattered the windscreen in big blobs. “Jesus, just what we don’t need.”
“Will it hamper the search?”
“It shouldn’t do. Isn’t that what this area is renowned for? Wet weather… the locals should be used to it.”
“Let’s hope you’re right. I hope they soon find out what’s happened to Adele.”
“Here’s hoping.”
They were almost back at the search site when Martin’s mobile rang for the second time that morning. He pulled over to take the call, preferring to check the ID before he accepted it on the hands-free. He groaned and bashed his hand on the steering wheel. “What the heck does she want?”
“Who?”
“My damn mother. I haven’t spoken to her since we split up.”
“I didn’t know that. Maybe your sister rang her to complain about you.”
Martin pointed a finger. “I bet you’re right. Should I answer it or ignore her?”
“How do you feel about talking to her?”
“I don’t know. The last thing I want, or need, at this moment is for her to pull me over the damn coals for telling Morgan to fuck off.”
“You don’t know that’s going to happen, not until you take the call. I’ll be here to support you.”
“You’re a good woman, Debs. Okay, here goes.” He pressed the button to accept the call and placed it on speaker, so they could both hear. “Hello, Mother. How are you?”
“Fine. How are you? And before you ask, yes, Morgan called me and told me about the conversation she had with you earlier.”
He rolled his eyes. “And what, you decided to heap on the pressure by calling me to have your say on the issue, is that it?”
“No, not at all. We’re only trying to help, Martin. Adele is our flesh and blood too, you know.”
“Yeah, and I’m your son, you know, the one you saw fit to ignore all these months since Debs and I broke up. How does that work, eh, Mum?”
“I’m sorry. I’ve been really busy trying to keep the salon afloat. I saw you on TV, you look older.”
He held his palms upright and stared at Debs in disbelief. “What do you expect me to say to that? I’m living through hell on earth and that’s the first thing that comes out of your damn mouth.”
“I’m sorry. Don’t use that tone with me or I’ll hang up. All your sister and I are trying to do is reach out to lend you our support.”
“Mother, it’s the way you confront me within a few sentences that I can’t handle. Why would you both do that, knowing the stress and anxiety I’m dealing with at present? It doesn’t make sense. This situation is about my daughter and yet the pair of you have instantly gone on the attack with your verbal diarrhoea. Believe me, I neither want nor need it. Now if that’s all, I’d prefer to be out there searching for my darling daughter than wasting time arguing the toss with you about what tone of voice I’m bloody using.”
“Wait! Don’t you dare hang up on me. I have a right to know what’s going on. What are the police doing about Adele?”
“Ya think? After turning your back on me for months on end, when I’ve been at my lowest ebb some days… you’ve got a frigging nerve. I’ll ring you, if we ever find her. Until such a day, leave me alone. That goes for Morgan as well. I can do without all your self-righteous attitude, especially when my daughter is missing.” He ended the call, rested his head back and released a growl through gritted teeth. “Can you effing believe it? Jesus, what have I ever done in this life to have such a detestable mother who thinks she’s in the right all the time?”
Debs placed a hand on his arm. “I think you’re blowing this up out of all proportion, sweetie.”
“Really? Didn’t you just hear what she said?”
“I heard a mother reaching out to her son and you taking things the wrong way.”
“I did?”
“It doesn’t matter now. I think we need to get back to make Adele our priority and worry about how you deal with Morgan and your mother once we’ve found her. Deal?”
“If you say so. Although I have to tell you, their annoying criticism is going to niggle away at me for a while.”
Debs smiled and nodded. “I understand. Come on.”
Martin pushed the phone call aside and concentrated on what they needed to do to get Adele back. If only he knew the answer to that particular conundrum. He continued along the narrow road to the area where he and Louise had chosen to have a picnic the day before, to find an excess of cars at the location. Off to one side was a group of journalists with mics in their hands, trying to speak to some of the rescuers and the individuals who were gathered. “Jesus, wouldn’t you have thought the police would have sealed off this area? Why is the road still open?”
“Makes you wonder. Maybe you should ask the inspector that.”
He slotted the car into neutral, applied the handbrake and shot out of the vehicle, leaving Debs behind. His anger bubbling to the surface, he strode towards the inspector who was talking to someone on the phone. He hung back a little, to eavesdrop on her conversation. It was impossible to glean what was being said because Cobbs was only answering with a yes or no. She smiled and held up a finger, letting him know that she wouldn’t be a moment. Eventually, she ended the call. By that time, Martin was soaked through for the second day on the trot. The inspector was bone dry, using the large umbrella to shield her from the elements.
“Hello, Martin. What can I do for you?”
He took a few steps forward. “For a start, you can tell me why you haven’t closed off the road to this area.”
“It wouldn’t make sense to do that. The teams need to have access to this spot in order to carry out the searches.”
“What about evidence? The fact you believe she may have been abducted? Therefore, the more people trampling around here, the less chance there will be for us to obtain any worthwhile evidence, and that will hamper our case, won’t it?” His desperation notched up another level. He knew he was clutching at straws but he couldn’t stand around and say nothing.
“We handled that side of things yesterday, you’re aware of that. Why are you questioning the way I’m doing my job?”
Martin paced back and forth a few times and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I feel so inadequate, I’m just trying to piece things together in my head. Sorting out what I believe is right and wrong and coming up with dumb outcomes.”
“It’s okay. Why don’t you and Deborah go back to the hotel, out of the rain? There’s nothing more you can do out here, not today.”
“Any news from the media slots?” he asked, more out of hope than expectation.
“Not yet. Not of any relevance so far.”
“Are you continuing to get hoax calls?”
Cobbs sighed. “Unfortunately, it’s taking a while for my team to sift through them.”
“Bastards. How can people be so damned heartless when a family is going through a situation of this magnitude?”
“It’s beyond me at times.”
“I’m glad you’re still taking the investigation seriously.” He glanced around him, at the number of police within spitting distance of where they were standing.
“They’ll be here until one o’clock. Then…” her voice trailed off.
He quickly turned to face her again and asked, “Then? Don’t tell me you’ll be giving up on us?”
“Regrettably, yes. We have to, if nothing shows up this morning.”
“Why? It’s not long enough. My daughter is missing. She could be out there, dying from exposure for all we know. Please, won’t you reconsider?”
“The longer the situation goes on with the lack of clues, the more I believe she was abducted. If that’s the case, then all we’re doing by keeping a presence here is delaying our work elsewhere.”
He sighed heavily. “So you’re not telling me you’re throwing in the towel completely?”
“Far from it. I assure you. I won’t give up until Adele is back with you and her mother.”
“Well, that’s a relief. Okay, I’ll let you get on. We’ll be at the hotel.”
Cobbs looked him up and down. “Good, have you got a change of clothes?”
“Yes, we’ve just collected my things from the cottage.”
“Good idea. Once we leave here at lunchtime, will you be heading back to Liverpool?”
“We’ll need guidance on what to do next, if you have the time to go through things with us.”
“Of course. I’ll come and find you later.”
Dejected, his head hung low, Martin made his way back to the car and then drove to the hotel. After getting changed, he and Debs sat in the bay window of the lounge area, watching all that was going on around them while keeping a careful eye on the clock. Lunchtime soon crept up on them.
