by M A Comley
“My advice would be not to spend out too much just yet. Once you join the club, you can take note of which toys he prefers to play with and go from there, it’ll save you money in the long run. I’m all for doing that, toys can be exceptionally pricey nowadays.”
“Good call. Thanks for the tip.”
“I’m full of them. Hubby would say I’m full of something, but it’s usually followed by something derogatory.”
Debs sniggered. “Men, eh? Can’t live with them and can’t live without them.”
“Yeah, even that’s debatable at times. I’ll take you through to the sun room, it’s where we spend most of our time, if I’m honest with you. Nothing brightens the day more than feeling a little warmth on your back, does it?” Monica led the way into a large room made of glass. It opened out onto the playground area she’d seen at the front. “We generally leave the doors open so the kids can come in and out as they please.”
Horrified at the prospect of the kids being out there on their own, Debs asked, “Don’t you have to keep an eye on them?”
“Definitely, all the time. There are mothers on duty everywhere around here, plus three members of staff.”
“That’s reassuring. I’m getting a good feel for this place, can’t wait to sign up.” She hugged Logan, and he squirmed in her arms. “I think this place is going to suit you down to the ground, Logan.”
“It will, I promise. We have a few children around his age. I know he’ll be too young to let out of your sight just yet, but I’m sure you’re both going to make friends soon enough. Everyone is super welcoming and friendly around here.”
“Sounds ideal, just what we need. It gets boring being at home all day by yourself, there’s only so much housework you can do.”
“That’s true enough. Talking of which, if Logan is a crier, how does he react to the vacuum cleaner or washing machine being used?”
“He hates the vacuum, I try not to use it that much, not unless hubby is at home to watch Logan for me. As for the washing machine, I can’t say I’ve really noticed. What’s with that?”
“One of the ladies shared with the group a few months ago that she couldn’t get her daughter to settle, so she put the baby in her basket near the washing machine and it worked wonders. Sent the child to sleep right away. She did some research on the internet and read that apparently the machine’s noise reminds babies of when they were in the womb.”
“Oh my, how interesting. I’ll be sure to try it. I’m learning so much already.”
“Free advice, too, nothing better in this world than that, I can assure you. Okay, that’s about it, apart from the main room. I’ll take you in there if you want me to introduce you to everyone. I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed, though, so no pressure from me.”
“No, I’d love to. I’m really keen to meet everyone.”
Monica wove her way back through the tiny tables and chairs dotted about the room and entered the final destination on the right. As soon as the door opened, everyone turned their way. Normally, Debs would have flinched by all the unwelcome attention—not a good socialite—however, the smiles on the women’s faces made her feel relaxed and eager to get to know them all. She waved. “Hi, everyone. This is Logan and I’m Debs, I’m so pleased to meet you all.”
Monica tugged her arm gently. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”
They circulated the room, and Debs marvelled at Logan who seemed at ease in his surroundings. She set him on the floor to play with a few of the younger children. He smiled and waved his arms, unable to do much else at his age. It was a pure relief not to hear him bawling all the time.
“Have you seen enough now?” Monica asked.
“Oh yes, I think we’re going to fit in really well. Thanks ever so much, to all of you for making me and Logan feel so welcome.”
They went back to the reception area where Monica gave Debs an information pack. “The number is on there, just give us a ring once you’ve talked it over with hubby.”
“Umm… I don’t need to. When can I come?”
Monica laughed. “You’re keen. What about tomorrow?”
“That would be brilliant. What time?”
“Can you get here for nine or soon after?”
“Of course. I’ll go back home and do some housework, save doing it tomorrow.”
“Sounds like you have everything organised. We’ll look forward to seeing you then. Stay until one, or go sooner, it’s up to you, it’ll be somewhat challenging the first few days, it’s always the same when you start somewhere new, isn’t it?”
“I’ll take that on board. Should I bring anything with me?”
“Just the usual baby things, you know, for changing Logan and perhaps a drink and sandwich if you think you’ll need one. Saying that, there’s bound to be some form of goodies on offer. What is it tomorrow? Ah, yes, Wednesday, Janet usually bakes on Tuesdays and brings us the results to ensure we keep up our calories.”
“Ouch, okay. I’m not much of a baker, but I’ll get some practice in at the weekend, if I can.”
“No pressure. I’d better rescue my two little buggers now. See you in the morning and welcome aboard, Debs. You’re going to love it here.”
Debs waved goodbye and settled Logan in his pram. She left the building, feeling like a heavy burden had been lifted from her shoulders. The walk home took no time at all and appeared to have been achieved on autopilot. She got to work after she’d placed Logan into his Moses basket. He seemed to be a different child, more at peace with the world.
Over the next few hours, she worked hard to prepare two meals, one for that evening’s dinner and the second for the following day, taking on board Monica’s suggestion that she would probably be exhausted after her first day. Then she cleaned the house from top to bottom until it was gleaming. The visit to The Gingerbread Club had given her a new impetus in life.
During the afternoon, she created a new play area for Logan and searched through his toys to see if there was anything bright and cheerful, similar to those she’d seen at the club as she felt that would stimulate him. Only a few met with her approval, so she spent ten minutes or so trawling through a well-known online shopping site for more ideas. She placed several items in her trolley with the intention of showing them to Martin later, once Logan was tucked up in bed for the night.
She collected Logan from his basket, fed and changed him, then put on some music and found herself dancing around the lounge with him. She was amazed he hadn’t cried at all since they’d got back.
By the time Martin came home at around eight, she’d put Logan to bed and dinner was waiting for him on the table. He held her in his arms and kissed her. “Everything all right?”
“Fine. How was your day?”
“The same as always. Hey, you seem more cheerful than I’ve seen you in a long time. Has something happened?”
“I’ll tell you about it over dinner. Do you want to get washed up? I’ve cooked your favourite, lasagne.”
“You’ve mentioned the magic word. I’ll be back in a jiffy. I’m starving.”
He tore upstairs and was back down within five minutes, changed out of his suit into a casual pair of jeans and T-shirt. “I popped my head into the nursery, he’s sparko.” Debs dished up the lasagne and salad and handed him a plate. “Are you going to tell me why there’s a noticeable difference in you?”
She smiled, finished dishing up her own dinner then sat down next to him. “I’ve finally found the solution to Logan’s constant crying.” She went over the details of how she’d obtained the revelation and informed him about the club, then watched carefully for his reaction. He laid down his knife and fork and took a sip of his orange juice. “Well, say something.”
“Like what? You’ve obviously made up your mind, you don’t need my approval, do you?”
“It would be nice if you gave it, though. Do you think I’m doing the right thing?”
“Oh, definitely, sorry if it sounded othe
rwise. How was Logan there?”
“A different child. Umm… I was wondering if we could stretch to buying him some more toys, ones that would help to stimulate him.”
“I don’t see why not. I’m due a bonus at the end of the month, it’s yours, spend it how you like.”
“I love you, you’re the greatest husband ever to walk this planet.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I know. Don’t spread it around down at the club, they’ll all be wanting a piece of me.”
“No way, no woman is ever going to get their claws into you in the future. I’ll put up a bloody fight next time.”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Debs, for ever straying, it wasn’t intentional. Hey, to make sure it doesn’t happen again, I’m being extra careful with whom I take on in the future. The last thing I want to do is cause you to have major doubts.”
“Really? I didn’t know that. You didn’t have to. I’m not as insecure as I used to be, at least, I don’t think I am. I trust you, Martin. We’re happy again, aren’t we?”
“Basically, I know things have been a little fraught since Logan came along, but at the end of the day, our love is far stronger than it used to be.”
“When you started the affair, you mean?”
He winced. “Yes, okay, I agree, back before my infidelity struck.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you squirm. I won’t bring it up again.”
“Good. Let’s rephrase it to say ‘before we got back together’, how’s that? Anyway, setting that aside for now, I’m glad you’ve discovered a club that will be beneficial for both of you. I have to say, I’ve been worried sick about your mental state, being stuck at home with grumpy Logan, that can’t be fun for you.”
“I had doubts there myself for a while. Let’s hope this is the turning point we need to make our family a happy unit once more. I can’t wait to join tomorrow. I’m going to be as nervous as hell, but I can’t see that lasting for long. Everyone seemed super friendly.”
Relieved and happy to see Debs excited about something new and that her being around others would ease his concerns, he hugged her and said, “Good. You need to get out more and see people with a few of the same interests to talk to. I couldn’t hack what you do all day.”
“I appreciate you saying that. Some days are definitely better than others. Still, it was my choice. I love being a mum.”
He raised her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. “I know you do, love. Eat up, let’s not get all maudlin. What’s for pudding?”
“Crikey, I didn’t do one…”
“I’m joking. I’ll be stuffed after I’ve wolfed down this lot. Thank you for taking care of us both so well.”
“That’s my role, isn’t it?”
“No, we’re a partnership. You look after Logan all day and look at this place, it’s spotless. I bet there aren’t many homes around which look this good with a three-month-old in residence.”
Debs laughed. “I went the extra mile, thought it would save me a job tomorrow, you know, take the pressure off a bit.”
“What pressure? There’s never any pressure from me, sweetheart.”
“I know.” She pointed at her temple. “My own demons never let it rest, though. I’m so lucky to have such an understanding husband as you.”
“Yep, glad we agree on that.”
She smiled and took a swipe at his hand, but he retracted it quickly.
11
Debs sat on the sofa in her coat and shoes the next morning, clock-watching until it read eight-forty-five, then she tucked Logan into his pram and set off. Her nerves jangled, intertwining with the excitement.
Debs ended up being five minutes early. Monica was ever cheerful and there to welcome her. The other women took their seats and one of them patted the chair next to her and invited Debs to sit.
“Hi, I was here yesterday. I’m Emmy; Emma really, but I hate it.”
“Pleased to meet you. I’m the same with my name, Deborah, it sounds so formal. Have you been coming here long? Which one of these monsters is yours?”
“The one with wheat-coloured hair.” Emmy pointed at the relevant child.
“What a lovely way to describe her hair. It’s gorgeous.”
“That’s Cilla, my little princess. We named her after Cilla Black, lovely lady. I met her once.”
“Did you? Where?”
“I was on that show of hers back in the nineties, Blind Date.”
“Wow! No way. How cool. I used to watch it every Saturday. Did you end up with anyone?”
“Sadly yes, but he turned out to be a womanising jerk. I dumped him, remained single for two years and when I wasn’t expecting it, my husband Richard walked into my life and a baby was the result of our first time in the sack together. Sorry, too much information, I’m always doing that.”
Debs snorted. “Oh heck, that’s hilarious. Or was it? It could have put a tremendous strain on your relationship from the outset.”
“Yeah, it could have, but luckily it didn’t, we got through it. Richard is one in a million. He adores kids, we have five now.”
“Blimey! That’s a handful to have to contend with every day.”
“We’re in a routine, good job, as they get older, the more arguments they have between them.”
“I can imagine. What ages are they?”
“Let’s see if I can remember… that sounds awful, but a couple have recently had their birthdays. Sixteen, fourteen, twelve, ten, and Cilla who is three. Go on, now ask me why there’s such a large gap.”
“All right, if you insist, why the gap?”
Debs waited with anticipation.
“I had breast cancer in between and, to be honest, we were told we’d probably never conceive again, so we stopped using bloody contraceptives and nine months later, out pops Missy over there.”
“Oh no, I’m so sorry. About the cancer. That must have been a huge shock to deal with and then having a baby on top, what a nightmare to have to deal with.”
“It was. We ended up having to buy a new house—the old one was packed full to the rafters, which means that Richard has to work more hours to cover the extra mortgage we needed.”
“Ouch, not good, eh? My Martin works long hours as well. Not so good when you have five kids to manage on your own, how do you cope?”
“We have a rota system, I make sure the children all help out. Luckily, they’re all girls so there’s no quibbles, as such. I think it’ll stand them in good stead, ready for what lies ahead of them in the distant future; I hope they don’t start too soon, not sure I could bear having grandkids running around the place, not for a few years. Maybe when Cilla is off our hands eventually, I’ll feel differently. Until such a time, no thank you. Anyway, I’ve said far too much already. What about you? Is Logan your only child?”
She smiled, surprised Emmy had remembered Logan’s name from the day before. “He is… umm… although, I had a daughter ten years ago.”
“Oh no, did you lose her? No, stop, you don’t have to share something so personal with me, you hardly know me.”
“Honestly, it’s fine. Yes, we literally lost her, or more to the point, someone stole her from us.”
Emmy hissed and covered her mouth. After a few seconds she dropped her hand. “Oh my, that has to be every parent’s worst nightmare. I’m so very sorry you had to go through that ordeal. I take it the police were involved.”
“Yes, two forces, one up in The Lakes, where the incident occurred and the force down here. We’ve been forgotten about for years. The police stopped updating us a few years ago. It’s so hard when that happens. As far as we know, Adele is still out there. Until we hear differently, that’s what we’re going to carry on believing.”
Emmy squeezed her hand in support. “Quite right, too. I feel for you. Is there anything else I can do to help?”
“No. It’s kind of you to offer. I had depression for a few years until Logan came along; there are some days when he drives me to distr
action with his incessant crying, but most of the time, well, I wouldn’t be without him.”
“Hey, all children tick us off at some time or the other.”
“I know. Coming here is going to save my sanity, I think.”
Over the next few weeks, Debs attended The Gingerbread Club twice a week. She paid for one outing, and Martin paid for her second visit; she counted herself fortunate to have his support. Every time she attended the club, she spent more and more time with Emmy and they became firm friends. One day in particular, Emmy invited her back to her place for a spot of afternoon tea. They enjoyed coffee and cream cakes and chatted like pals who’d known each other for years.
“Right, I suppose I’d better get my finger out and pick up the children, correction, two of them. They’re at separate schools, you see. All within walking distance, of course. I hate using the car for short trips. I’m trying my best to be environmentally friendly where possible.” Emmy giggled.
“I’m trying, it’s not always possible though, not in our house.”
“Why don’t you come with me? Logan’s asleep, the movement in the pram will help keep him relaxed for a while, giving you some much needed me-time.”
Excitement grew in Debs, it was lovely of Emmy to offer to include her. “Would you mind? I’d love to meet your children.”
“Come on then, if we get a wriggle on, we can have a nice leisurely walk instead of the frantic one that usually takes place every day in my world.”
They strolled through the local park on the way to St Saviour’s Primary School to pick up Gina, Emmy’s ten-year-old daughter. The kids were just coming out of the gate when they got there. Most of them came hurtling towards the parents, waiting for them. Gina was one of the first to leave the school playground. She bolted at Emmy and flung herself into her mother’s open arms. “Hello, darling. Have you had a good day?”
“The best, Mummy. Who’s she?” Gina asked, peering over her mother’s shoulder at Debs.
Emmy put Gina on the ground, straightened up and tucked a few stray hairs behind her daughter’s right ear. “Gina, I’d like you to meet a good friend of mine, this is Debs.”
