by J. L. Ostle
“Back at, ya.”
I watch as she waves and leaves, and I look out the window, watching until the plane is gone. I feel even more lost now that she is.
“We will get you to visit her next. Time will fly in,” Mum says, as she hugs me.
“I miss her already.” I wipe my nose with the back of my sleeve.
“I know, sweetie, but you will see each other again.”
We head back home and I message Ella, telling her that I miss her already and that she has to text me when she lands safely or I will be watching the news until I hear from her. I know she will laugh at that. I lie on my bed when I feel my phone vibrate and I see a text from Cory.
Cory: If you need me, I am here. Sorry Ella had to go home already x x
I look at it and feel like a complete bitch for what I have done. I am with Cory and I need to act like it.
A few months have passed; Christmas has come and gone and I have gotten into a routine of going to school, working at the bar, and hanging with Cory. I try to avoid Sebastian and I feel like he is doing the same with me.
Classes are getting harder and in any free time I have, I study, speak to Ella through FaceTime, and at night, when I know my mum is asleep, I play on my guitar. Since Ella was here, I hate that I punished myself for not playing just because I hated my dad.
When I’m at work I get the odd person asking me to sing and play but I always decline, saying it was a one-night thing. Cory and Sean have tried to persuade me but I always say no. I hate that I work the nights when Sebastian is on stage as that’s when I feel his eyes on me—watching me.
I try to keep to myself but my eyes always seem to wander over to him when we are having lunch in the cafeteria—seeing Cara sitting on his lap, both of them smiling and laughing. I also have avoided her for the past month or so, as I have felt so guilty.
When Cory and I do hang out, it’s either at my place or at his apartment that he shares with Sean. We help each other study and just chill watching movies. We have gotten closer but we haven’t had sex yet. I feel bad that when we do get worked up I put cold water over us, as I know deep down, I’m not ready to go that far yet.
Not when I still have some sort of feelings for my cousin’s boyfriend.
Cory always reassures me that he doesn’t mind waiting and doesn’t want to pressure me. I feel like I’m a virgin holding out but it makes me like him even more that he is willing to wait. I have caught him jacking off once in his bathroom, one night when I was staying over, but I can’t blame him. He was used to having sex whenever he wanted to and now he is in the waiting area.
I am in class when Mr. Goldstein asks me and Sebastian to stay behind. I look at Cory, who reassures me that it’s probably nothing, and kisses me on the lips before waiting outside. I head down to where he is sitting and I feel Sebastian stand next to me.
“Mr. Cooper, I am concerned about a few of your last tests, as they are just making average scores, and I feel that in order for you to pass my class, you will need a tutor.” I can feel my heart hammering—no, why me? “Miss Hart is in the top of the class so I feel she will benefit you more.”
I hate how he phrased that. “Surely, I am not in the top?” I say with a squeaky voice.
“You are, Miss Hart, and I will give you extra credit for doing this, of course.”
I look at him and then at Sebastian, whose eyes are trained on Mr. Goldstein.
“You okay with this, Mr. Cooper?”
Please say no.
“If you think it’s best,” he says, still not looking at me.
“Great, well now that’s settled. I will see you again tomorrow.”
That’s our cue to leave. I walk out and see that Cory is talking to some guys farther down. When I turn to face Sebastian, I don’t notice he is so close behind me and bump into him, losing my balance. I almost fall back but his arms come around my waist, balancing me. I place my hands on his arms and I look up at him and his eyes are on my mouth. I quickly pull away, clearing my throat.
“Okay, um, we have a test coming up, so why don’t we meet up later to study?” I look down at the floor.
“I have the guys coming around to rehearse, but can do it after?”
I nod. “Okay, well, do you want to meet at the library?”
“Is it okay if we study at my place? That’s where we are rehearsing and I will be quite tired after.”
I gulp down some saliva. Me and him alone at his place? No way.
“I will be good, I promise.”
It’s like he can read my thoughts. I look up at him and I hate how I get sucked in when my eyes connect to his. “Ummm, okay. I guess so. Text me when you’re ready.”
“Thank you.”
I nod and then I feel arms come around me.
“Was everything okay?” Cory asks.
I see Sebastian look at his arms around my stomach then at the floor. “Yeah, Mr. Goldstein just asked me to help study with Sebastian.”
“That’s good. My girl here is like super smart. You are in good hands.”
I give him a shaky smile.
“Yeah, I’m sure I am. Well, thanks again, flower, will see you later.”
I tell him goodbye and he walks away.
“Flower?” Cory asks, confused.
“It’s a nickname he made up for me back when I first met him.” I shrug it off like it’s no big deal, but I miss him calling me flower.
I’m going to hell.
I sigh as I head up to Sebastian’s. He just texted me ten minutes ago, saying his bandmates are gone and he’s ready to study. I stand in front of his door, knock, and wait. I knock again, but still no answer. I send him a text that I’m here but receive no reply, and I wonder if something has happened. What if he’s hurt himself and that’s why he isn’t answering? I lean against the door and I almost fall backwards when the door opens. It wasn’t locked properly.
Holy shit, what if he was robbed and they did a getaway?
I step inside slowly, trying not to make any noise, and look around me to see what I can use as a weapon. I see an umbrella in the corner, so I grab that. I walk in farther but don’t hear a sound. I look in the kitchen and other rooms until I get to his bedroom. I take in a deep breath and open the door. My eyes go wide when I see Sebastian’s back turned to me, wearing only a pair of black boxers.
I can see his muscles on his back and his thick muscled arms. He is pure male. I feel myself getting flushed and a little turned on by just looking at him. I look at the floor and take a deep breath, before walking towards him, coughing loudly to get his attention. In a startled quick reaction, he swings out his arm, ready to hit me, but luckily I move away quickly.
“What the fuck? Don’t do that,” he yells at me.
“I am so sorry. I was knocking for ages and I even texted you. Then I noticed the door was open and thought maybe you were hurt.” I look at the floor. I see his bare feet come towards me, and fuck me, even his feet are sexy.
“You thought I was hurt, so you took my umbrella?”
“I thought maybe there was someone here robbing you.”
“And you came to rescue me?” He lifts my chin up with his thumb and index finger.
I shrug, still looking down.
“Look at me, flower.”
I look up at him and bite my lip.
“Thank you for trying to save me.” His eyes bore into mine.
“Anytime.”
He smiles. “Just don’t come near me like a ninja. I could have hurt you.”
“I’m tough. I would have kicked your ass if you did,” I joke.
“Right, let’s get this over with.” He walks to the living room and sits down.
I sit on the opposite couch. He opens his books and I look down at his nearly naked body, and there is no way I am going to be able to help him study like this. “Is it okay if you put on some clothes, please?”
He smirks at me. “Is this distracting you?” He sways his hand down his body.
> “Sebastian, you are half naked, sitting in front of me, of course, it’s going to distract me. So please, go get dressed.”
He chuckles and stands, walking to his room and coming back out a few minutes later wearing jeans and a tight grey T-shirt.
“This okay?” He models his clothes, making me laugh.
“Yes, thank you.”
He sits back in his seat. “Right, let’s start.”
For the next couple of hours, we study and I try to make things as easy as possible so that he remembers it better. I give him my tips on how I remember everything. I end up moving closer to him so I can point things out in the books and write things down for him. He listens to every word I say, nodding and asking questions. It is comfortable and never once feels weird. And not once has he tried anything.
I am in the middle of writing some points down when my phone rings and it’s Cory. I automatically answer. “Hey, you.” I smile, standing up.
“Hi, you having fun?” He chuckles and I chuckle back.
“Yeah, we are getting there.”
“You missing me?”
I laugh and roll my eyes. “I always miss you.”
“I miss you too. I just wanted to hear your voice.” God, he is so sweet. “I will see you tomorrow night.”
“‘Night, Cory.” I smile and hang up, but when I turn to Sebastian, he looks a little pissed off.
“Right, where were we?” I sit back down but he quickly stands.
“I’m going to get a drink, want one?”
“Sure,” I say and I watch him head to the kitchen. I am waiting for about ten minutes before I finally stand and follow him. He is leaning against the counter, glaring at the floor. When he spots me, the glare falls on me. “Is everything okay?”
“I’m fine, just leave it.”
“Are you sure? Because we were fine before. If you need to talk, you know I will listen.”
“Because you are that much of a good person?” he spits at me.
“I am a good person—well I try to be. Why are you being like this?”
He turns and grips the counter and I see his knuckles go white. “I am fine, just back off, okay?”
I feel myself getting angry, so I walk to him and pull on his arm so he turns and faces me. “I am not staying here so you can treat me like shit again. I am better than that.” I head back to the living room and start gathering my books.
“You really want to listen to what I’ve got to say?”
I hug my books to me and wait for him to start talking.
“I fucking hate that you are with another guy. I hate that the guy you are with is so fucking nice and treats you well.”
I look at him like he is crazy. “You hate that I’m with a good guy?”
He grips his hair and looks up at the ceiling. “Even now, you don’t get it. You stand there looking all cute and sweet. I hate that Cory gets to kiss you and to hold your hand. I watch as you lay your head on his shoulder, feeling so relaxed and at ease. I hate how he fucking looks at you. I want to be the fucking person to kiss you and to hold you. Fucking you,” he yells out.
I stand there frozen. “What the hell?” I yell right back. “You are dating my cousin—my fucking cousin.”
“Yeah, because you didn’t want me,” he yells louder.
“Because I wanted to be more than just a notch on your bedpost.”
He growls and spins around, then turns back and faces me again. “Cara is fucking sweet, nice, and kind. She really cares about me.”
“She is all those things. That’s why you are with her and have been with her for months.” I hug my books tighter.
“But then, why do I still want to fuck you? Every time I start to feel less for you, you do something that pulls me back in. You fuck with my head.”
I drop my books, going towards him and push him. “I fuck with your head?” I scream at him. “You seem to only be anywhere near me when you want to grope a feel. You just hate that I turn you down every chance, you think with your dick.”
“Talk about my dick and see where that gets you,” he growls at me.
“You just want me to want you. It’s the challenge. You just want to fuck me and that’s it.”
He storms towards me and pushes me against the wall. “I want to fuck you so badly. I want to hear my name on your lips as you come hard. I want you to feel every inch of me inside you. But I know I can’t. I can’t do that to Cara.” He hits the wall, making me jump.
“You are with Cara, and I am with Cory. It’s how it is.”
“I know. I know I shouldn’t be saying this, but I’ve wanted you since I first saw you, and I still do. I think I always will.” He presses his forehead against mine. “I just want to get you out of my head.”
I look into his eyes and I feel that pull surging through me. He is that close and everything he has said—I want it too.
Just to get him out of my system.
“Then fuck me.” I slam my mouth on his and it doesn’t even take him a second before he is kissing me back. Pushing me back against the wall—pressing his body against mine.
“What are we doing?” He stops as he breathes into my neck.
“We are getting each other out of our system. Soon as you have me, the chase will be gone. You will stop wanting me, and I will get to finally move on,” I whisper.
“What about Cory and Cara?”
I try to not think about it too much. “How are we meant to be truly happy if we are pining for one another? I need to get you out of my head and you need me out of yours. Take me now or we stop this and it will never happen again.”
He looks into my eyes and kisses me hungrily. “Fuck, I want you,” he growls into my mouth.
He lifts me so my legs are wrapped around him and he walks us to his room, his mouth never leaving mine. He throws me on the bed, climbs on top of me, and starts grinding his erection against my core. He sits up, helping me out of my vest and bra, and his mouth goes straight to my nipples, sucking hard and causing me to moan.
I arch my back up when he bites down hard, causing me to scream in ecstasy. I quickly wrap my leg around his waist and flip him, so I’m now lying on top. I take hold of his shirt and I rip it, looking at his perfect, hard body.
“Fuck,” he moans and I give him a smirk.
I bend down and lick his nipples, guiding myself down until I reach the button of his jeans. I undo it and open it, giving me a chance to pull his boxers down enough for his dick to come free. I see that I’m not the only one with a piercing. He has what I think is called an apa through the head of his cock.
He has a fucking dick piercing.
I bend over and start sucking, feeling his piercing in my mouth. I use my tongue piercing for extra pleasure.
“Fuck. That piercing—I can feel it. Fuck,” he mumbles.
I keep on sucking harder and harder; hearing his moans and groans just turns me on even more.
He quickly sits up, pulling me up and he flips me so I’m back lying on the bed. He quickly pulls down my jeans shorts and rips my panties in half.
“I hope they weren’t your favorite pair.” He smiles at me. He licks up my thigh, getting close to my aching pussy, but not close enough.
I start whimpering with such need. “Please,” I beg. He continues licking close by, and when I finally feel his tongue on my clit, I scream out.
“Fuck, you taste so good. I don’t think I can ever get enough.” He licks up my wet folds and starts sucking on my clit, causing me to arch my back. My legs are shaking as I can feel how close I am. He continues sucking harder and harder and my eyes roll back as I have my release, and he sucks up every drop. “Fuck.” He sits up, taking a condom out of his pocket, and pulls down his jeans and boxers. I watch as he uses his teeth to rip the packet open and put the condom on. He gives me a warm smile and lies back over me, placing his dick against my entrance and starts to push slowly inside me.
Filling me up.
“Oh, God,” I pant out.
“Fuck, you are so tight. You feel so good.”
He pushes in deeper and when he is fully in, I feel like I can feel him everywhere. He pulls out and thrusts back into me. I can feel his piercing hitting me in the right place, causing me to scream out his name. He continues slamming into me, harder and faster. He takes hold of my hips and quickly turns me over, so he is now fucking me from behind. I feel tighter, more fuller this way.
“Fuck, you look so hot.”
I grip the bed sheets and I move my hips back so I can feel him deeper. I can feel his fingers dig into my hips as he thrusts harder, and I can feel my next release coming. It’s close.
“You are about to come. I can feel it. Your tight cunt is squeezing my dick.” He releases a hand and starts rubbing my clit. I scream out as my orgasm hits, screaming his name over and over, and after a few more hard thrusts, he comes, saying, “Flower.”
He collapses on top of me and stays there for a moment, catching his breath before he pulls out and sits on the edge of the bed, taking off the condom, tying it up, and taking it away. I lie there looking at the ceiling, feeling drugged up when I feel him sit back down on the bed, looking at the sheets.
“That was amazing,” he chuckles.
I nod, giggling.
“I think I am going to go for a run or something. Burn off this extra energy.”
With that, reality comes seeping back. He wants me to go. He had his fuck and now that’s it. What else was I expecting, though? “Yeah, I need to head back home.” I quickly stand gathering my clothes. I see the ripped-up panties and mentally groan. I put on my shorts and stuff them in my pocket.
“You don’t need to go right away. I was just saying—”
I interrupt him. “No, we got it out of our system now, and I need to get some stuff sorted, so it’s fine.” I quickly dress and leave the room.
“Flower?” He calls out my name.
“Sebastian, it’s fine. Really. I will see you around.” I give him a fake smile and head out. I quickly head back down to my apartment, and only once I’m behind closed doors do I let the first tear fall. I don’t even know why I’m getting so upset.
