Seduced by a Rockstar: A Rockstar Romance

by J. L. Ostle

  “And what do you want?”

  “You. But I never will have you. We need to end this, right here, right now.”

  He stares at me, not saying a word. “You want me?”

  I walk past him, heading to the front door. “Yes, but all of you. I want you. I want to say you’re mine.” I get to the door again.

  “You want me to end things with Cara?” He walks to me and holds my hand. I see the image in my head. Him ending things with her, seeing her heart being broken, then finding out he is with me. “You do, don’t you?”

  “I don’t want to hurt her.” I start to cry. “But I know I have been. I am falling for her boyfriend.” I put my face in my hands. I feel his body close to mine as he takes my hands into his.

  “You are falling for me?” he says quietly.

  “I need to go.” I push him away and try to open the door but he slams it shut and turns me around.

  “Tell me. Tell me you are falling for me.” I shake my head. He places his hands on my face and makes me look into his eyes. “Tell me,” he pleads.

  “I am falling for you. I am so sorry, but I am.”

  He leans forward and kisses me for a second. “You have no idea how much I love hearing you say that. I know I am falling for you too.”

  I look at him, confused. “You are falling for me?”

  He smiles at me. “Yeah, didn’t you get that from what I have been saying? You are here.” He places my hand and his over his heart. “I am in deep for you. You are it for me.”

  I cry and giggle at the same time. “But what about Cara?” I whisper.

  “I care for her deeply but I don’t feel anything as much as I feel for you. I don’t get jealous with her, but you on the other hand.” He smiles shaking his head. “You make me want to kill every fucker who dares look at you.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck. “You need to end things, though. We can’t keep doing this. She doesn’t deserve this.”

  He nods. “I will tell her.”

  “But we need to keep our relationship down-low until things blow over. Just to give her time to get over you.”

  “You want a secret relationship?”

  “Only for now. I can’t stand if she hated me. She does my head in but she is family, even though I haven’t acted like I am.”

  “Okay, but I am going to be hard to get over.” We chuckle.

  “I hope she will understand.” I look at the floor but he lifts my chin up.

  “She will. We haven’t been getting along. She will be okay in time.”

  “Another thing, though.” I bite my lip.

  “What?”

  “We can’t have sex until you end things.”

  He presses his forehead to mine. “You really are going to kill me, aren’t you?”

  “No, I just want to do things right. Like we should have done from the beginning.”

  “Okay, no sex. But what about kissing?” He smiles sweetly at me.

  I pretend to think. “I don’t know. Do you think you can handle not kissing me for a short while?”

  He pushes my body hard against the door. “Fuck, no.” He kisses me and I smile against his mouth.

  The following day I wake up with a huge smile on my face, and when I turn to my side, the reason is smiling back at me. I didn’t want to leave after we decided to give a relationship thing a go. He is going to tell Cara later, but I didn’t want to spend any more time away from him.

  “I love waking up next to you.” He starts stroking my cheek with his fingers. “You are so damn beautiful.” I lay back down.

  “I am not that beautiful.”

  He leans on his elbow and looks down at me. “You don’t even know how beautiful you are. I think that’s why I like you even more. You don’t see the effect you have on men. You are perfect.”

  I entwine my fingers with his. “I wish I could see what you see.”

  “If you saw what I saw, you’d never leave the mirror.”

  I giggle and hit his chest and he brings me into him so I’m laying on his chest as he plays with my hair. “I can’t believe we are finally here. After all this drama, we are finally together. I can’t wait to shout it from the rooftops.”

  “I am that irresistible. I don’t blame you.”

  I hit his chest again. “I guess I need to get used to that big head of yours.”

  He quickly flips me so I’m lying back on the bed with him on top of me, as I wrap my legs around him. “And you love it.”

  “I think that’s a strong word to choose for your cockiness.”

  He starts grinding himself against me, then stops. “If you keep talking about big heads and using words with cock in it, I will show you what it does to me.”

  “Maybe I like using sexual innuendos. Like me asking you if you like pussies or if I like hard things,” I tease and he starts grinding against me again, causing me to groan.

  “Keep going. I dare you.”

  “I think I’m wet,” I smirk at him and he hisses.

  “Fuck, you are going to kill me.”

  I hook my legs together, and with one quick motion, I turn us so he is now the one on the bed. “Nah, I want to get some use of that dick piercing of yours.” I start grinding myself against him.

  “Fuck. Don’t stop,” he breathes, and my breathing is coming in just as fast.

  “I have some bad news, though.” I grind harder.

  “What is it?”

  I grind one last time and get off him. “We need to get ready for school.” I hear him groan as I head to the kitchen.

  “I am going to show you what happens when you tease me,” I hear him say and then I hear footsteps, so I start running and he is right behind me.

  “We don’t have time for this, Seb.” I stand on the other side of his dining table.

  “I think we do, flower,” he smirks at me. He runs to left and I quickly run around.

  “You better stop now or we will be running late.”

  “I don’t like to lose.”

  “Neither do I.”

  He runs again and I sprint off but he catches me easily and lifts me up. “Told you I would catch you.”

  “I hope you always will.”

  He puts me down and faces me. “I will always catch you.” He looks into my eyes and then places a gentle kiss on my lips before stepping back. “Now go and get ready. We will head to your place and then I will give you a lift.”

  “Sounds great, thank you.” I kiss his cheek and head to his room to put on my clothes that I wore the night before. Sebastian lent me one of his T-shirts to sleep in. I am putting on my shoes when I hear his front door being knocked on and hear it being opened. I am about to walk out when I hear Cara’s voice and I freeze.

  “Cara, what is wrong?” I hear his voice. I close the door but leave a little gap so I can still hear. I know I shouldn’t listen in, but I want to know if he is going to end it now.

  “It’s my mom,” I hear her sob. “She got hit by a car last night.”

  I cover my mouth with my hand. Oh, God, Lacey. My phone died so I wouldn’t have been able to get any messages. I sit on the floor and feel so much guilt rush through me. I was here being all cosy and my aunt was in an accident.

  “Is she okay?” he asks her.

  “Yeah, but she broke her leg and got quite a lot of bruising but they said she was lucky. All I thought, though, was what if that was it? What if she’d died?” I hear her cry and I cry with her.

  “But she is okay.”

  “I know but it has shown me how short life can be and I am so grateful that I have you. I know we haven’t been getting along recently and I know I’m partly to blame. I have been hanging with Anna and Calvin way too much and not thinking about you and your needs. I have been a bad girlfriend.”

  “No, you haven’t.”

  “I know I have. Please let me make it up to you. I really need you right now.”

  “I don’t think you need me like that when you’re upset.” I hear
his voice going a little shaky and I know she is wanting to sleep with him. I start to feel sick.

  “I do. Please, make love to me?” she begs and I feel tears flowing heavily down my cheeks.

  “I’m sorry but I can’t do this when you’re upset. I know you need me, and I am here to comfort you, but not like that.”

  “Why?” she shouts. “You have fucked nearly every girl on campus but when it comes to me it’s like you are frigid. Am I not fuckable?”

  “Of course, you are.”

  “Then fuck me. Fuck me, right now.” I hear movement.

  “No, Cara, now come on, we are going to be late for school.”

  “You know, when I saw you around school and on that stage, you seemed like this rock God, but now I’m thinking I don’t know you at all.”

  I have never heard Cara speak like this, but grief can do that. She is upset and she is taking it out on him, but he doesn’t deserve her verbal abuse.

  “Maybe you don’t. Now we are going. Come on.”

  “Fine, whatever.” I hear them walking to the door.

  “I forgot my phone, hold on.” I hear him running towards me, and when he walks through the door, he quickly holds me as I cry into his chest.

  “I am so sorry you had to hear all that. I am just going to take her to school. Please don’t be angry with me.”

  I cup his cheek. “I’m not angry. Take care of her.”

  He nods and kisses me quickly before leaving and I sit back down, hugging my legs.

  I haven’t seen Cara or Sebastian all morning and I’m starting to get antsy. I am leaning against the wall near the cafeteria doors when I see Cory walking towards me, holding a girl’s hand, who I assume is his new girlfriend. I have heard rumors and him and Sean don’t do the sharing thing anymore.

  “Hey, Iris.” He smiles and waves at me.

  “Hi, Cory. Hi, Natalie.” I wave at them and she smiles and gives me a small smile back. She is really cute with her short brown hair and brown eyes. She has the girl next door look to her.

  “You heading in?”

  “No, waiting on Cara.”

  “Everything okay?”

  “I hope so. Will catch you later, okay?”

  He nods. “See ya.” They walk in. I look at my phone and see messages from my mum about Lacey—she is doing well.

  When I had got home to get ready, Mum had left a note telling me what had happened and that she’d be at the hospital for the rest of the day. I’d called her to give Lacey my love and to tell her that I was glad she was okay. I am still looking down when I hear footsteps and see Cara and Sebastian walking towards me and my stomach drops. They are holding hands, and I’m trying to keep a smile on my face, but it’s cracking.

  “Cara, you okay? You haven’t been replying to my messages.” I hug her and she pats my shoulder and moves back.

  “Yeah, I’m doing okay, Sebastian has been taking good care of me.” She smiles at him and I wonder how he has been taking care of her.

  “That’s good.”

  “Yeah, he is such an amazing boyfriend.” She smiles at me but it seems a little forced.

  “I bet. You ready to go eat?”

  “Sure.” She walks ahead of me with her hand still planted in his.

  We head to the table and Anna and Calvin give her a hug. Sebastian sits and I watch as she sits on his lap and hugs into him. His eyes connect to mine but I look away. I shouldn’t, but I feel jealous.

  “I’m going to go get a drink. Anyone want?” They all shake their heads. I line up, getting a can of Coke as I know I won’t be able to eat, even if I wanted to. I sit back and Cara is playing with his hair, and every now and then, she kisses his neck. I am finding it really hard to sit and seem like I’m okay. Eventually, I stand, saying I’m going to head to class early.

  “You sure you’re okay?” Cara asks me as she is rubbing her nose along his jaw.

  “Yeah, as long as you are.” I smile at her.

  I start walking away when Damon stops in front of me, smiling at me. It feels like last night at the party happened years ago.

  “Hi, I just wanted to make sure you got home okay.” I see that blush of his.

  “Yeah, I did. Sorry about Sebastian. He is just protective over me.”

  “I can see that. Well, I was just wondering … if you wanted … if you would like to hang out sometime?”

  I feel eyes on me and turn to see Sebastian watching us both. “Damon, you are such a nice guy, but right now, my life is really complicated.”

  “I get it. We finish school soon, and I knew you were out of my league, but I thought I would give it a shot.”

  I look at him and wonder why he said I am out of his league? He is gorgeous and can have any girl at this school. “I am not out of your league. Thank you for last night, though. I did have fun.”

  “Well, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.”

  “Thank you.”

  He gives me a smile and walks away.

  I head to class and I may be way early but I put in my earphones and close my eyes as I listen to “Alive” by Sia. I need a pick-me-up and I know this song will do it. I wait until the chorus hits and soak in the words. I feel tears prickle my eyes as I know Sebastian isn’t going to break up with her. I am still listening when I open my eyes and see Sebastian sitting in front of me, looking at me.

  He doesn’t say a word and the words are still playing. He strokes my cheeks, wiping away the tears and he says sorry. I can’t hear him but I read his lips. I know he is. I take out one earpiece.

  “You aren’t breaking up with her.”

  He sighs and looks down. “I can’t, not yet anyway. She is really upset over what has happened and she needs me. I can’t leave her when she is feeling like this.”

  The chorus is playing again and I feel my heart breaking. “You need to do what is right.”

  He cups my cheeks. “I will be yours. We will be together. I just need time.”

  Time, it’s always just time.

  “Sebastian,” I whisper.

  “Don’t. I know what you are going to say and just don’t.”

  I let some tears fall. “Last night and this morning were a fantasy.”

  He is shaking his head.

  “I can’t watch you be with her. I have been there before and I can’t do it again. It was killing me seeing her all over you. I’m not strong enough. I’m sorry.”

  He cups my face and brings his forehead to mine. “Please.”

  I can hear the pain in his voice. “Be with her. Go and take care of her.”

  “Flower …”

  “We should have known.” I suck in a deep breath.

  “Known what?”

  “That you wouldn’t have ended it. That this wouldn’t have worked.”

  He looks at me and I see a tear fall.

  “Go to her, Seb.” I give him a shaky smile. “Go,” I whisper and he looks towards the door and finally stands and walks away. I watch him go. Cory walks in and Sebastian says something to him and then finally leaves and I just break down. I cry into my hands and I feel Cory sit next to me, pulling me into him as he holds me.

  “It’s okay. It’s okay,” he says over and over, but I know it isn’t.

  Sebastian gave me hope and because I believed it, I made myself vulnerable. I fully let him in.

  I love him.

  Now I’ve lost him.

  I go visit Aunt Lacey at the hospital and when I reach her room, she is sitting up laughing with my mother. I can see bruises on her neck but I can’t see if there are any more as she is covered in a hospital gown and sheets. I knock on the side of the door and enter and she smiles when sees me.

  “Oh, honey, you didn’t have to come and visit. I know you have finals coming up.”

  I give my mum a hug and then gingerly give her one. “Of course, I did. I am so sorry. I didn’t know until this morning. How are you feeling?”

  “I am fine, just a few bruises and broken
bones.” I feel my eyes tear up. “Honey, please don’t cry.” She holds me. “I’m on the mend.”

  I don’t mean to cry but I feel like a rollercoaster of emotions. “I’m sorry. I’m just happy you’re okay.” I take a seat near her bed and hold her hand and I even see bruises up her arm.

  “So, come on, stranger, you excited you finish college soon?”

  “I think I am done with school. So much has happened this last year that I’m ready to just push it all to the past. I’m just ready to move on.” Flashes of Sebastian walking away enter my head.

  “Yeah, you have had a hard year—for both you and your mother.” She looks at my mum. “Have you any idea what you are going to do after you finish school yet?”

  I bite my lip. “I’m not one hundred percent sure but I am actually thinking about going back to the UK.”

  I hear my mum gasp and I turn to her with sad eyes. I have been thinking about this for the past few hours and I am tempted to just go.

  “I didn’t know you wanted to go back,” Mum says.

  “It’s not definite. That’s why I haven’t mentioned anything. It’s just I miss my friends and I’ve only been here about a year but I don’t feel like I can imagine the rest of my life here. I’m sorry, Mum.”

  She stands and walks to me, bending over to give me a hug. “You don’t need to apologise. I know you moved here to be with me. You could have stayed if you’d wanted to. I don’t blame you if you want to go back. I just want you to be happy. That’s all I ever want for you.”

  I give her a watery smile. “Thank you, I am even thinking about being a music teacher, and I can join the band again if they haven’t already replaced me,” I chuckle.

  “Knowing Ella, she would kick out your replacement if she knew you wanted to come back.” We both laugh.

  I know Ella would too. She has never mentioned if she replaced me or not. I guess she didn’t want to upset me if she did.

  “I will know for sure about my plans in the next few weeks.”

  She nods.

  “Cara will miss you. She has grown very fond of you being here. I am glad she has had you. That Anna girl is a piece of work,” Aunt Lacey says. We all laugh.

  “Yeah, Anna can be a bitch. Oh, and I almost forgot, I brought you grapes. It’s tradition, isn’t it?” I place them on her side table.