by J. L. Ostle
“Was it before or after you fucked me?”
I hold back a gasp.
“Yeah, sweet Cousin, you don’t think we have been in a relationship as long as we have without him being with me, do you?”
I cover my face with my hands.
“Iris, it wasn’t like that.” Sebastian comes to my side but I step away from him. “I slept with her at the beginning, yes, but it stopped after I was with you.”
“Wait, so we stopped fucking after you fucked her? That means …” she pauses. “You and Cory—you cheated on Cory. Does he know? Do I need to tell him what a whore he was with?”
“He knows—that’s why I ended things,” I cry to her.
“Why didn’t you end things with me, Sebastian? Why didn’t you break it off with me?”
I look at him and he looks to the floor then back to us both.
“I was afraid I wouldn’t have a chance with her and I wanted her to stay in my life, one way or another.”
For the first time, I see tears in Cara’s eyes. “So, you used me to stay close to her.”
He nods.
“Have you been kissing, having a PG-13 affair behind my back?” She sniffs.
“No, we kept pushing each other away so we didn’t hurt you,” Sebastian tells her and she starts laughing,
“Now, that is funny. You didn’t want to hurt me even though you’d already fucked each other.”
“Cara,” I call her name.
“Is he why you are leaving?”
“Cara,” I say her name again.
“TELL ME,” she screams.
“Yes. He chose you.”
She looks at him and then back to me. “You chose me, but yet you are in love with her?”
“I could see you were hurting and I knew you needed me, but I didn’t think she would leave.”
She shakes her head. “So, if you knew she was going to leave, you would have chosen her?”
“Yes,” he answers honestly.
“Well, now we will all be heartbroken as she is leaving. You will lose her as I have now lost you. Ironic, isn’t it?” she laughs.
“Cara, please.” I walk to her, holding her arms but she shrugs me off and slaps me hard across the face.
“You are dead to me. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, after all.”
I fall to my knees as I cry out. Sebastian comes to me and bends down, holding onto me.
“I hate you,” she screams. I watch her walk away.
Sebastian keeps holding me but soon my mum, Ella, and Cory start looking for me, and when they see me rocking back and forth on the ground, they come running to me. Sebastian tells them what has happened and my mum takes over holding me.
“I really hurt her. She knew, Mum. She knew about me and Sebastian,” I sob.
“It’s okay, sweetie, I’ve got you. It’s going to be okay.”
“Mrs. Hart, I am so sorry—”
Mum interrupts him. “I think it will be best if you left, you have done enough.”
He looks at me and then nods and stands. He is about to leave when he is pushed and Aunt Lacey slaps him hard across the face.
“How dare you cheat on my daughter?” she shouts at him and he rubs his cheek.
“I am so sorry …”
“I don’t want your stupid apologizes. You and her …” She points at me. “You broke her heart. How could you, Iris? How could you do this to her?”
“Aunt Lacey, I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
She walks over to me, pointing her finger at me. “You stole her boyfriend. How can you not mean to do that?”
Mum stands up and pushes Aunt Lacey away from my face. “Lacey, stop pointing your finger at her. They love each other. Your daughter isn’t so innocent. She knew something was going on and yet kept being with him. Yes, they fucked up but they are kids.”
“Stop fucking defending her. Would you forgive that whore who fucked your husband?”
I gasp when I see my mum slap her across the face. “How dare you? They weren’t fucking for months. They didn’t fuck on Cara’s bed. I have seen my daughter break down so many times now, that I’ve lost count. She pushed Sebastian away so Cara could be with him. She has admitted what she did was wrong and she doesn’t need you to punish her as she is already punishing herself. I am losing my baby, my child—the only thing I have left—so your Cara could be happy with him. So, don’t talk to me about who I should forgive.” She holds my hand and pulls me up. “Come on, sweetie, we are going home.”
Cory gives us a lift home and when we get in, Mum, Ella, and I grab blankets and lie on the couch. None of us says a word. I feel emotionally drained. Why did it all have to come out now? I was going in a few days.
I am cursed.
It doesn’t take me long to fall asleep but I wake up when I feel my mum kissing the top of my head.
“I am so sorry, Mum.”
“Don’t be sorry. Just get some rest.”
I watch as she heads to her room.
“Everyone was hitting everyone tonight,” Ella whispers beside me.
“I fucked up so bad, now Cara and Aunt Lacey hate us both.”
“They will get over it.”
“Mum is going to be all alone when I go.”
“Don’t,” Ella scolds me.
“What?”
“I know what you are doing. Your ticket is paid for. You are coming back home. Your mum wants to stay here. Lacey and your mum will forgive each other as they are sisters. It’s what sisters do. So, stop thinking of reasons to stay. You are leaving, even if I have to drug you and put you in a trunk.”
“A bit extreme, isn’t it?”
“Not for me.” We laugh.
“I leave in a couple of days. I can’t leave things like this.”
“Then try to make things right before you go, but if it doesn’t work out, at least you know you can say you tried.”
I wake up the next day knowing I am going to try to make things right. I decide to head upstairs first. I need to talk to Sebastian. I hate how we ended things and I need to make sure he’s okay. You may think I’m being pathetic for checking on him but he’s a part of me, whether I want him to be or not.
You can’t help who you fall for.
I knock on his door and wait and when he answers, my mouth gapes open when I see him standing there in a pair of jeans that sit nicely on his hips and nothing else. My eyes trail up his body until I reach his eyes. He is giving me a small smile and I quickly look away and then look back. It’s then when I notice he has a bruise on his cheek. I guess Aunt Lacey has some punch in her after all.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I can come back,” I mumble over my words.
“No, it’s fine, come on in.” He moves aside, opening the door wider for me to walk through. “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”
I sit on his couch and watch him sit on the opposite side.
“I wasn’t planning to, but after yesterday I had to make sure you’re okay.”
“You really are one of a kind, aren’t you? No other girl would have come back after last night.”
“I just don’t want you to think that I hate you. I should, but I don’t. I’m leaving in two days and I didn’t want to go without saying a goodbye that didn’t have drama and everyone slapping everyone.”
He chuckles. “Yeah, I had three women slap me, so it would be nice to not be near one for a while.” He tries to joke but images of him being with another girl already start to cause havoc in my stomach.
“Yeah, I think that’s for the best for now, anyway. Well, I’m glad you’re okay.” I stand. “I better get going, though. I am going to see Cara and Aunt Lacey. I don’t want them to be angry with my mum. She doesn’t deserve to be alone after I’m gone.”
He looks at the floor and back at me. “I will make sure I keep an eye out for her.”
“I don’t think you are her favourite person right now,” I chuckle and so does he.
; “Well, maybe after time I will grow on her.”
“Maybe.” I start to walk back to the front door. All I can smell is him.
“Hope you have a good life, flower, you deserve it.” He leans on the doorframe.
“So do you, just don’t be all strong and heavy when you first meet a girl. It’s intimidating. Be yourself. It’s that person I fell for.” I give him a small smile and head to the elevator and I hear him calling my name. When I turn, he is walking towards me.
“I think I fell for you when I first saw you standing at the bar. You are beautiful, Iris, never forget that.” He kisses my cheek and the doors open and I step inside, watching him.
“Goodbye, Seb.” I smile.
“Goodbye, flower.”
The doors close and I sigh, already missing him.
I take a cab to Cara’s and knock on the door. When Aunt Lacey answers, I am sure she is going to shut the door in my face but she doesn’t. She welcomes me in and makes me a cup of tea.
“I am so sorry for what I did, Aunt Lacey. I wasn’t expecting it to happen. I hate how much I hurt Cara,” I tell her once she sits down.
“I am sorry too. I was indicating that you were a whore and I know that you are not. I was just angry. I didn’t know Cara was stringing Sebastian along. All last night as I was comforting her, she was going on about what her friends would think, about rumors spreading around. She wasn’t upset about what you did, not really. Yeah, she felt betrayed, but she was worried about the ruined image this will cause her. I knew then that she didn’t love him. She only loved the idea of him.”
“What I did was still wrong, though.”
“Do you love him?”
“I do. After everything, the whole year of ups and downs, I do.”
She nods. “I fell for a boy back in high school who was with my best friend. He was dreamy and he treated me like a princess. I fell hard for him.”
“What happened?”
She sighs. “He didn’t love me. He loved my best friend. I asked him to be with me but he said he was in love with her. I didn’t get how he could say that after we’d been together but he stayed with her. She found out he was cheating throughout college and they broke up. He was a dog. He wanted his cake and to eat it too.”
“That’s horrible.”
“Yeah, well. But Cara told me that he loved you too.”
“He does.”
“That’s why it’s different. He admitted he loves you. He stayed with Cara for what he thought was good intentions from what I get from it.”
“Yeah, I think he did.”
She gives me a sad smile. “You were leaving so they could be happy together?”
I nod.
“Most girls wouldn’t do that. Risk their own happiness for someone else.”
“Do you forgive me?”
“Of course, I do. I was young once. I am just sorry that you are leaving.” She stands and comes over and hugs me. “Think maybe you can talk to Cara? She may not listen, as that girl can be a pain in the ass, but I think it may help.”
“I want to try to mend some bridges before I go.” I stand and head up the stairs. I knock on Cara’s door and push it open, seeing her lying on her bed, watching TV.
“What are you doing here? I’m surprised Mom didn’t kick your ass out.”
I walk to her desk and take a seat. “We had a talk and she forgives me.”
She huffs. “Mom is too soft for her own good.”
“I know you hate me. You have every right to. I would hate me too. I just wanted to say I was sorry before I left. I never wanted to hurt you. You were my first friend when I moved up here and I basically threw your friendship back in your face.”
“When did it all start?” she asks me.
“I don’t think you want to know.”
She sits up. “I do. I just want to know.”
“He started hitting on me when I first went to Randi’s. I was dancing and I felt a guy behind me, I didn’t think to look who it was, and when I found out it was him I pushed him away, telling him no.”
“Because he wasn’t used to hearing no, he saw you as a challenge.”
I nod.
“Because you kept saying no, he wanted you more,” she sighs. “That’s why he kept telling me I was his friend over and over. He wanted you but yet I kept pushing and pushing. He said he wanted to stay close to you and that’s why he was with me. You ended up dating Cory so he started dating me.”
“Cara, I am so sorry. I know it doesn’t mean much, but I am,” I plead to her.
“You both fell in love.”
“I am leaving, so I won’t be in the way anymore.”
“It doesn’t matter if you stay or go. You tamed the rockstar. You are his first love. Nothing can compare to that.”
“Do you love him?” I need to ask. I know Aunt Lacey said she didn’t but I need to hear it from her mouth.
“No, I don’t think I do. I would be more heartbroken, wouldn’t I? The type where you can’t eat or sleep type of thing?”
I nod.
“Then, no, I guess I don’t. He was a good boyfriend, though. More than I deserve really. Out in public, I looked like the doting girlfriend but behind closed doors, I was too busy in my own world and I stopped caring about his. I’m just angry. Well more jealous than anything.”
“Why are you jealous?”
“You came into town looking hot as sin. Anna hated you because you ate whatever you wanted and yet men looked at you like you were a goddess. Your voice is amazing, the way you can sing, the way you dance—how could I not be jealous?”
I look at her like she is crazy. Is everyone who lives here blind?
“By the look on your face, you don’t even know it yourself. No wonder why Sebastian fell for you.”
“Do you still hate me?” I bite my lip.
“No, I don’t hate you. Okay, maybe a little but it will pass.” We chuckle.
“I used to be jealous of you. With your long blonde hair, your long legs, how bubbly you are. I used to feel self-conscious when I was around you.”
“Now that is just crazy.” She shakes her head. “So, you and Sebastian aren’t getting together?”
“No, I leave in two days and it wouldn’t work. I guess love isn’t everything. Not really.”
“Well, I like to think that we all get our happily ever after in one way or another.”
“Very positive of you.” I smile.
“I know, right?” She beams at me.
“Well, I think your happily ever after is with Calvin.”
She throws a pillow at me. “Why would you think that?”
“Oh, come on, it’s obvious. The way he looks at you, how he listens to every word you say. That boy is smitten.”
“You think?”
“I know.”
“But he made out with you.”
“Yeah, don’t remind me. We were way too drunk. I think he was kissing me because he couldn’t have you.”
“Calvin? Never would have thought.”
We talk like that for the next hour before I say my goodbyes and head back home. I’m happy that we are talking again and I know my mum will still have her family to go to.
When I head back, Ella and Mum are sitting on the couch, and when they see me they stand up.
“Well, you don’t seem to be bleeding or any limb missing, so I’m taking it went well?” Ella asks.
“Yeah. They have forgiven me and we had a good talk. I can leave with a clear piece of mind.”
“What about Sebastian?”
“I told him my goodbyes.”
“Are you okay?”
I sit in between them and they both hug me.
“I will be. This has been one fucked up year.”
“Tell me about it, my life has been boring compared to yours,” Ella says.
We all laugh.
I look around my room, seeing most of it cleared out. My bed is made and everything is tidy. I have a few boxes put to
the side but Mum will send them out once I’m settled. I will be staying with Ella in her new apartment, so I only packed my clothes and essentials. This has been my room for the last year and I am going to miss it.
We have breakfast at a close by café before heading to the airport. Once we arrive at the airport, I’m shocked when I see Cory, Sean, Natalie, Cara, and Aunt Lacey. They are all holding balloons, smiling at me.
“What are you all doing here?” I laugh.
“We had to say one last goodbye. What can we say? We are going to miss you.” Sean walks to me and gives me a hug. “Make sure you look after my girl here,” he says to Ella.
“I think you are meaning my girl and don’t worry, I will look after her.” She winks at him.
“Thank you all for coming.” I hug each person. The one person I really want here to wish me off is Sebastian.
“You go and do great things. We will look after your mother.” Aunt Lacey holds my mum to her side.
“Thank you, Aunt Lacey.” I give her hug.
“Don’t be a stranger, and make sure you send pictures of some English boys.” She beams at me.
“I promise I will. Come and visit anytime.”
“I will hold you to that.”
I hug her tightly. We still have some bridges to mend but we have hung out the last two days so I think after time, we will be able to put all this behind us. I go over to the twins and they both smile at me.
“Thank you for being my friend. Sorry for all the shit I put you both through. Especially you, Cory. You didn’t deserve what I did.”
He hugs me tightly and then lets go. “It’s okay. It’s in the past now.”
“Don’t forget me, okay? I want you to tell all the UK honeys about me. How hot and sexy I am.” Sean hugs me.
“I sure will,” I giggle. I finally go over to Mum and she has tears in her eyes. “I love you, Mum.”
She holds me tightly. “I love you too. Be good,” she warns.
“I’ll try,” I laugh.
“We need to go now,” Ella says, linking her arm through mine.
“I love you all so much,” I cry and they wave us off as we head past security.
We get checked in and we are in the waiting area having a couple of drinks as we wait. Ella is telling me that once I’m settled we should have a band meeting and start practicing again. I can’t wait to see Denny and Josey—our bassist and other guitar player. I hear the announcement for our plane to board and we wait in line. I am still listening to Ella going on about our plans when I hear my name being called. I turn around to see Sebastian with Colin and Louie behind him.
