“Our business is over when I say it's over. You work for me.”
“Worked. Now I don't.”
“I could make that happen,” he said plainly, a smirk on his face over the threat. “Have the health department shut you down.”
Toby hated himself for letting Phil get to him but that's exactly what he did, that doubt in the back of Toby's mind that he could do this, run his own business. Follow his dream. “They'd have no reason to shut me down,” he said, little strength in his conviction. He knew there were bad people in the world, lies and bribes and an uphill battle for someone who played by the rules and tried his damnedest to be nice.
“If you say so.” Phil smiled again. “Or maybe I talk to some of my buddies who run that shithole prison your brother calls home. See that he never gets parole.” With as surprised as Phil was to find himself on the ground with a quickly forming black eye, he wasn't nearly as surprised as Toby was for putting him there. “You are going to regret that, Larsen,” he warned.
“I already do.” Toby slammed the door, then grabbed his hand and winced, hissing “fuck” between his teeth. When Isaac taught him to throw a punch, he'd neglected to mention just how much it would hurt. And how much it was about to.
“Are you seeing blood right now?” Toby asked, unable to look at him even as Miko sat beside him on the spotless floor. Miko hadn't said a word while Toby explained the situation, and Toby hadn't mustered the courage to make eye contact and try to figure out what Miko was thinking.
“Your kitchen is clean, Toby.”
He smiled just slightly. “Liar.”
“It is probably clean,” Miko said with a shrug. Popping a couple of candies in his mouth, Miko crunched down. Hard. “You are here because you think he can do what he said about health department?”
“I'm here because it's the only thing I can do anything about.” Toby sighed and shook his head. Now both of his hands hurt from scrubbing and he'd accomplished nothing. If Phil had that kind of power it wouldn't matter if the place was covered in blood, the result would be the same. It was Phil's comment about Isaac that had really pissed Toby off. But Isaac was doing better in prison than he'd done on the outside, and Toby didn't think he even wanted to be paroled. Which meant the only place Bradley could hurt him was right here. He could either give up everything he'd worked so hard for and let Phil win, or he could destroy his relationship with Miko, forever see him as a man to be feared, and never be able to live with himself. Toby pulled off the gloves and tossed them across the floor. “Fuck it. Let him shut me down.”
“Do not let this spoiled man ruin something you love for you. He does not matter. I can squash him like bug. He is vermin. I will eradicate him.”
Toby felt so low that he didn't even smile at the way Miko said eradicate. “No. I can't. I can't be responsible for this.”
“It is not your fault that I have to kill him,” he said as if killing was the most natural thing in the world.
“Yes it is.” Shaking his head again, Toby closed his eyes so he wouldn't start crying. “I can't let you kill him, Miko.”
“I will make him disappear!” Miko exclaimed, so enthusiastic and so entirely missing the point. It was a purely Miko response, one that made Toby love him even more. And made him even more adamant that this couldn't happen.
“Do you know how many hours I've spent worrying about you? Worrying that you'd disappear? I can't do that to her.” Toby couldn't do that to himself. All the time he spent thinking he would never see him again, thinking someone would take Miko from him, he couldn't handle it if Miko was that someone.
“You are not responsible for what he did. You did not lead him or flirt.”
“It's not your fault Ophelia and Hector are dead. Do you feel any less guilty about it?”
Miko twitched, that endearing habit of his when he was agitated. “I thought you only made point with guns.”
“Did I make my point?”
“Something has to be done about him. He threatened your business. And your brother. I will call Nas. He can get him off the street. At least until we know what he can do. Not kill, just hold onto. Okay?”
“Kidnap,” Toby said grimly. With all the terrible things Toby had imagined Miko doing to Phil, throwing kidnapping into the mix somehow made it even worse.
“He is not kid.”
“And then what? If he's bluffing, you let him go?”
“Yes.” And there it was: the lie. Not the innocent one, the unable to tell the truth lie but a malicious one, lying because Toby told him no and he would do it anyway.
“I meant what I said, Miko.”
“What good am I if I cannot do this for you?” he shouted, all previous calm gone as Toby did make his point.
“What good are you?” Toby scoffed. This was exactly why he didn't want to tell him. Even with Emmett, only a few days into their relationship, Miko acted like it was his duty as a boyfriend to fuck him up, to punish Emmett for upsetting him. And Miko didn't listen when he told him to leave him alone. “I'm not in love with you for your assassin skills!”
Miko pouted like a child. “I do not have skills,” he said dejectedly.
“Rodrigo?” he asked, softening towards him. He'd been so shocked by finding out Phil had broken in that he'd forgotten the whole reason Miko left in the first place. And why he'd tried to stop him.
“You were right. I did not want him to die. I did not think he would die.”
“I know you didn't.” Toby held his hand, the two of them leaning into each other. “I'm sorry.”
“He did not really burn it shut. Hector's story was not true.”
Nodding to the red line Nasir had drawn on Miko's wrist, Toby smiled and said, “The moral was.”
Miko's eyes went wide as he said, “Rodrigo was so scared his hair turned white.”
“Maybe it was merciful then, in its own way.”
“You think so?” he asked, that sincere desire to hear what he wanted to believe that Miko and Toby had in common.
“Well how scared do you have to be for your hair to turn white? I mean, my hair is fine and some of the scares you've given me I wouldn't wish upon anyone.” Like the fear of losing him, disappeared without a trace. Toby couldn't bear the thought of losing him. He couldn't bear the thought of staying with him and knowing what Miko had taken from someone else. “Maybe that's it! Maybe you can scare Phil. Scare him so bad that his hair turns white. He won't have to die, he can just be afraid of you coming after him for the rest of his life. He doesn't deserve the mercy of having it end.”
“I can hurt him just little bit?” Miko adorably demonstrated with his right thumb and pointer finger pinched together, the fact that it was a prosthetic over the stump of what was left making the “little bit” that much bigger. “Nas can keep me from too much?”
Toby nodded, smiling with relief. Phil didn't have to die. Miko could scare him. Miko didn't have to scare Toby. “Yeah. Yeah, I can live with that.”
“I will call Nas. Then we go home.”
“I don't think I want to sleep there tonight.” Toby wrapped his arms around himself. He felt sick thinking about it, realizing that maybe he hadn't forgotten to lock it before either. They had no idea what he'd touched. He could've sat on their bed. Lain on their bed. “Not after he's been in our bedroom.”
“We get hotel.” He kissed Toby's head and dialed Nasir, not having to use a payphone making Toby feel even better about the situation. But Miko only got a few words of the request in before he just stopped and listened, his twitch returning. He hung up, blinking like he wasn't seeing clearly. Like he was seeing blood. “He stole your gun. He came back to the apartment with it. I am killing him.”
A Special Occasion
Miko: Age 25
Miko returned to Ophelia's London home on a dreary day in November. His birthday was a week away. He did not feel like celebrating. He was coming off a job in Russia where it was so cold and inhospitable that not even Miko thought he deserved t
o be there.
The little cottage was nestled in a fenced yard behind bushes that had easily grown double Miko's height, so thick that daylight couldn't get through, much less cameras. Barely within the city limits, it appeared so run down from the outside that it looked completely devoid of value. Miko empathized.
He sent Ophelia a text to let her know he was there, then climbed halfway up the gate and hurled his bag over the bushes into the yard. There was only one section of the fence that wasn't strewn with razor wire, hidden behind the leaves, and Miko shimmied his way to that side of the fence since there was nowhere to hold onto for the initial climb. He could've used the front gate after some struggling with the hedge, but he always went this way instead like it was a child's tree fort. Ophelia barely left at all, locked away from the world. Hiding. There was nothing left for her on the outside, no reason to leave the house. There was nothing left for Miko either. Just his job. Just death.
Over the wall of bushes, the house seemed in even worse a state. The windows were painted over, the mostly paved yard in desperate need of a broom. There were flowerbeds but no flowers. Ophelia hadn't planted them in time to grow before it got cold. Now they had to wait until spring.
Inside the house it was cozy and warm, everything soft with blankets and throw pillows and multiple cat beds underneath tables even though she only had the one cat. It was usually bright inside too, the lights set up on dimmers to replace the lack of natural lighting so it was the perfect day outside no matter what. But now the lights were all out.
Standing in the doorway, Miko felt the cat rub against his leg. He set down his bag, knowing what was coming, and he shut the door so he'd be engulfed in darkness.
“Surprise!” Ophelia yelled, the lights all snapping on. She'd decorated with streamers and red balloons and she held a cake outstretched in her hands. Fee was not much of a cook, but neither was Nasir and Miko had managed not to starve in his company.
“You should not jump out and yell surprise at assassins, Fee,” he scolded even though he wasn't surprised or much of an assassin.
“You know you'd never hurt me,” she said, but the smile died on her face with the change in his expression. Miko knew it. Toby didn't. Ophelia quickly turned her head so he couldn't see the scar, thinking his remorse was over saving her and not sacrificing himself. “You shouldn't feel guilty over it.”
“I would never hurt you,” Miko agreed, kissing her on the cheek. It was easy to look beyond the damage he'd left now that the light had returned to her eyes. She wasn't under the fog of medication any longer. She'd even offered Miko the rest of her pills if he could find a way to use them for killing someone. Miko didn't think he could bear doing it even if that worked. It was a cruel way to die. And to live.
Ophelia led him into the kitchen. There were flowers in a vase on the table. The local florists knew by now just to leave them at the gate. Ophelia would wait until they were gone to retrieve them. She lit some red candles on the cake and Miko watched the wax drip into the frosting like blood. He blew them out without making a wish since he couldn't have the only thing he wanted. The only person he wanted. With a hopeful smile she served him a piece that hadn't been bled on.
“This is good,” Miko said encouragingly as he ate, though he hadn't had an appetite in months.
She shrugged. “As much as I'd love to take the credit, it's a box mix.”
“I could not tell.” All he could tell was that it wasn't Toby who made it. Nothing tasted good anymore. Even his candies were different. At least that made them easier to give up while he was with Fee.
Ophelia smiled. “You're too kind. Even if you are a terrible liar.”
Miko set down his fork, that familiar stabbing pain in his chest. She hadn't meant to upset him, had never known how Toby teased him, pretending like the lies didn't matter.
They did matter.
“I cannot be both,” he said.
“Of course you can. White lies. Like telling a girl that her bum doesn't look big. They're harmless.”
“Harmless,” he repeated. His entire relationship with Toby had been lies. Red lies. And Miko was not harmless. That's what had scared Toby. Seeing the truth.
Picking the fork back up, Miko closed his eyes and let himself pretend for just a moment, pretend he was somewhere else. Someone else. Because that's what it would take. Miko would've done anything to get him back, but he couldn't be anything except who he was. The Mako Shark.
The End
Miko: Age 27
They didn't speak in the car. Toby had thrown up in the parking lot and Miko tried giving him a candy to cover the taste but he wouldn't take it. He just stared straight ahead, stunned. Miko didn't know what to do. Informing Toby that someone had just made a viable threat against his life took a sensitivity that Miko hadn't been capable of in the moment, and now he was afraid that he'd made an already traumatic situation even worse. But it wouldn't matter once Miko was finished with Bradley. He would fix this. He would fix him. But first he had to fix Toby.
“You want to wait in car? I can get your things,” he said as he pulled up to the curb. He was still seeing blood but he felt calm knowing he'd soon be seeing it for real.
Toby reached for the door handle and Miko got out to help him, setting his hand on Toby's back to guide him inside. The candy dish by the door where they kept their keys was missing. Nasir must've used it to disable Bradley. Miko did his best not to call Toby's attention to it, but Toby didn't seem to notice anything, walking directly to the bedroom in a daze.
He stopped where Miko had in the doorway, his eyes on the picture frame in the trash. The flower stems had dried. The oven was not warm.
“You should maybe sit down?” Miko tried touching his back again but Toby stepped forward out of his reach, slumping to the bed and picking up the frame. “See, sitting is better,” he said, even though Toby did not look better. He looked utterly hopeless. “I will buy you new frame.”
“I shouldn't have hit him,” Toby said numbly.
“Your hand hurts. I will get you ice.” Miko rushed to the kitchen to grab a bag of frozen peas, and the cinnamon schnapps as an afterthought. It only occurred to him that Toby's regret over hitting Phillip Bradley probably wasn't from the pain when Miko returned to the bedroom and found Toby crying. “You are upset to be here. We go to hotel.” He reached out to take the picture frame from him but Toby held onto it just a little too long and he winced as his finger was sliced with the broken glass.
“Don't look, there's blood.” Toby plucked a tissue from the box on the nightstand to wrap around it, considerate of Miko's squeamishness even in his catatonic state.
But Miko couldn't do anything except look at it. “I hurt you I am sorry.”
Toby said nothing. He just got up and went to wash his hands in the bathroom.
Miko obediently followed, feeling a renewed sense of helpless rage when he saw the pills in the open medicine cabinet. The bottles were nearly empty. Miko thought Toby had stopped taking them once he'd come home after being shot. He thought he was the one scaring Toby into taking them. “This is what you were waiting out?” he asked. “For this to be over with him?”
“It wasn't supposed to get worse.” Toby shut the cabinet, avoiding looking in the mirror and at Miko as he went back to the bedroom to pack.
Taking the pills from the shelf, Miko brought them along, gently setting them in the bag next to the schnapps. But Toby was packing way more than they'd need for a night in a hotel. “Toby—”
“We can just leave,” he said with a frenzy that was so unlike him that it made Miko twitch. “Have Nasir let him go. He'll never find us.”
Miko blinked, baffled that Toby could possibly still have any objection to him beating the man to death. “Toby, he came back here to kill you. To kill me.”
“And you kill people all the time!” he said in exasperation.
“But I am just weapon like Rodrigo posted on website.”
“This isn't your job,
Miko. It's our life. I would walk away from everything I have built here, my life's goal, so I could be with you. I'm asking you to do the same.”
Only it wasn't the same. Toby could be a caterer anywhere. He could rebuild his life. What Toby was asking was for Miko to go against his nature. “And what about next person?”
“What next person?” he asked, calmed by confusion.
“The next one Bradley does this to. The next caterer, or gardener, or whoever he thinks he owns. What happens to them?”
Toby shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe it's me. Maybe I attract this type.”
“You attracted me.”
“Well you are an assassin.”
“That does not change how I feel about you. Or how you feel about me.”
“No, but it does change how problems are dealt with. You can't kill him.”
“What would you do if I was not here?” he asked, growing angrier since he already knew the answer. “Give him whatever he wanted?”
“Yes!” Toby sobbed.
“Let me tell you, because I know this man. He will not stop. Not with you. It probably did not start with you. I know you try to do right thing, but he does not give you choice.”
“You're not giving me a choice. Doing this, killing him, makes you the person I've had nightmares about. It makes you the person I'm afraid will take you away from me every time you walk out the door. Is that what you want? For me to be afraid of you?”
Miko twitched. “You know I would never hurt you.”
“Doing this hurts me. Making it so when I look at you I think of a pregnant young widow who would be happy right now if she'd chosen a different caterer for her wedding hurts me.” He picked up one of the pill bottles. “You asked if I felt trapped in my life. I felt like there was hope, that once today came around and the contract was over I could forget all about it. Now? Now I feel trapped.” He tossed the bottle back in the bag and took a large swig of schnapps instead.
The Mercy of the Mako Shark Page 22
