From the other room she heard, “Huh?”
“Black or with cream? Sugar?” Deidre repeated herself.
“Oh, ah,” Dave responded, his mind having been far away. “Black. I take it black.”
Deidre brought him a cup of freshly brewed coffee and a couple of cookies she had managed to scrounge up. Dave looked up at her, and she thought of a wounded deer she had once seen alongside the road. They had the same look in their brown eyes, as if asking, “Why?”
“Thanks, Deidre,” he managed to say.
All the while, Ben sat and stared at the empty fireplace. He didn’t move from that spot for over an hour. Twice Deidre sat down beside him and tried to take his hand. Both times she felt as though she was holding an inanimate object. There was no response, and she knew Ben had drifted into another world. She wanted him to hold her and tell her everything was going to be all right, but in her heart she knew that wasn’t going to be the case.
When the sun began to rise, the four were still awake, because each had slept so restlessly, if at all. Deidre asked if they wanted breakfast, but there were no takers.
“Why don’t we go out on the deck and watch the sunrise,” Ben suggested, and without discussion, everyone shuffled through the doorway. They sat in silence, listening to the birds claiming their territories with song, and Deidre wondered at how the mood had changed since last evening, when the night hawks and whip-poor-wills had soothed her spirit. This morning her world was a jumble, and the bird calls only a background cacophony.
“Let’s pray.” It was Ben’s voice that broke their silence. Deidre saw Ben and Dave and Megan bow their heads, but she couldn’t, or wondered if she just wouldn’t. Ben’s voice was clear and strong. “Lord God. Our Maren is missing, Lord, and we are at our wits’ end. Where is she, Lord?” Ben paused and Deidre wondered if he was going to continue, but he swallowed hard, and did. “Be with Jeff, and help him find her. Protect her while we wait.” Deidre could tell he was struggling to hold it together. “If something has happened to her, give us strength to accept the truth. We trust that your will is for no harm to come to our Maren. Please bring her safely back to us.” There was a long pause before he said, “Amen.”
Deidre wasn’t sure how she felt about God’s ability to undo what may have already been done, but she took comfort in her husband’s faith. She reached over and placed her hand on his, and they sat in silence.
Chapter
Seven
DEIDRE OFFERED AGAIN, but no one wanted breakfast. Ben took a shower. She splashed cold water on her face in an attempt to stay alert. Megan had slept curled up on the couch, and her clothes were a wrinkled mess. She used the downstairs bathroom to freshen up as best she could. Dave was still walking around in a daze, his eyes glazed and his hands shaking whenever he wasn’t holding onto something for support.
Steve and Jack were the only ones who ate anything, each wolfing down a bowl of Cheerios. Deidre announced that Grandma and Grandpa, Ben’s parents, were coming to take them for the day. She promised they’d be doing something fun. The boys knew they were being shuttled out of the way, and they grumbled, wanting to know what was going on. Deidre told them that Maren hadn’t come home last night and they were trying to locate her. Her last words to the boys as the pair headed out the door were, “Don’t worry. She’s going to be all right.”
At seven thirty, the landline phone rang and Ben was the first to reach it. The others listened expectantly, straining to hear any glimmer of hope in his voice. After a brief conversation, he hung up.
“Jeff says a deputy found Maren’s car. She isn’t in it, and it appears as though something bad has happened.” He slumped onto a chair and clutched his head as though to quell a massive headache. Deidre placed her hand on his back and felt the convulsions heaving through his body.
“Did Jeff say where they found the car?” Deidre asked.
“It’s about ten miles from here, at the end of the Spooner Road. He’s on his way there now. Wondered if we are able to meet him there to identify any belongings in the car. He said he’d understand if we can’t do it.” Ben looked expectantly at the others.
“I think we have to,” Megan gave her opinion, and Deidre agreed. Dave said nothing.
“Okay, we go,” Ben said, settling the issue, and together they prodded themselves to get in Ben’s SUV.
Ben knew the area well, because it was an area favored for grouse hunting. He turned right on the paved surface of a county road and then left onto the gravel surface of the Drummond Road. The four rode in silence until they came to a green street sign that read SPOONER ROAD. Deidre had always thought the sign looked absurd, a street sign to mark a logging road, and today it looked even more out of place to her. Ben turned onto the little-used road that was hardly more than a trail. Grass grew in the center between two dirt ruts, and Deidre heard a rock scrape the undercarriage of the SUV every so often. They bounced along at a crawl.
They were further into the forest than she had ever traveled on this trail, and it became rougher and more narrow with each passing minute. Soon, brush hanging from the sides of the road was scraping on the finish of the vehicle, and Deidre wondered if they were getting lost. Eventually, they reached a small clearing at the end of the road. It had been a staging area for whoever had last logged there, and Deidre could just barely make out skid trails that led even deeper into the woods. At the back edge of the clearing sat Megan’s car. Two deputies’ cars were also parked in the clearing, and she recognized Jeff ’s sheriff vehicle, as well. The officers were standing by Megan’s car, but when Jeff saw Deidre and Ben, he came over to meet them.
He hugged Deidre and clapped Ben on the back, nodded to Dave and squeezed Megan’s arm.
“We got a call early this morning from the County Forestry Unit. One of their workers was supposed to do a timber assessment of this area and lay out the route for a new haul road to a tract of trees a half mile further into the woods. He was going to begin from this clearing, and became suspicious when he saw Megan’s abandoned car. He called it in right away.”
Jeff noticed Dave beginning to shiver. “You look awfully chilled. The morning dew can be pretty uncomfortable, even if it is the beginning of May. Do you have a jacket in the car?”
Dave looked startled, as if he just realized he wasn’t wearing one. “Uh, no. I guess I forgot it when we left.” He wrapped his arms around himself, and Ben offered Dave his own jacket. Dave shook his head and looked away.
Jeff looked across the clearing at Maren’s car. “I’m sure that’s it,” he began, “but I need you to verify that’s her’s.”
Ben nodded, and Jeff wasn’t quite sure whether that meant he understood the situation or if it meant that, yes, this was his daughter’s car.
“It’s a 2008 Ford Focus. You can see the color. It’s got a small dent near the gas cap cover. Do you think it’s her car?” Again, Ben nodded.
From where they stood, everyone could see grass and weeds hanging from the front bumper, and the tail pipe appeared to be hanging loose.
“I’m surprised that little car made it back this far. It doesn’t have much clearance. My SUV bottomed out a couple of times on the way in. Any other damage to the car?” Ben wondered why he asked that question. It was totally irrelevant if her car had been damaged.
Jeff didn’t answer, but said, “Okay, I’d like to have you come look at the interior. You don’t have to if you think it will be too difficult, but I’d appreciate whatever help you can give us right now. I’ll warn you, there ‘s a little blood on the headrest of the front seat. I’ll have a deputy cover it with an evidence bag so you won’t have to see it.”
Deidre stopped him. “How much blood?”
Jeff looked at her sympathetically. “I know what you’re thinking. It’s only a small smear, not enough to have caused death by any means. Basically, I need you to identify items in the car to verify they are your daughter’s belongings and not things left by her assailant.”
Assailant? That word brought Deidre up short, because until now, she hadn’t pictured an actual violent act being leveled at Maren. For a moment she lost her resolve to look in the car but then steadied herself. “I’ll look,” she heard herself say.
“I’ll come with you,” Ben volunteered. Megan took her dad’s arm and the three followed Jeff, each lost in their own thoughts. Dave hung back, turned his back on them, and leaned over the hood of Ben’s vehicle. He rested his head on his forearms, hiding his face.
Deidre was the first to look in the abandoned car, and she gasped when she saw Maren’s favorite lap robe balled up on the backseat. The image of her teenage daughter curled up in front of the fireplace with that blanket wrapped around her flashed through her memories. She took Ben’s other arm and put her cheek on his shoulder. Megan began to sob.
Jeff and a deputy wore rubber gloves and had several evidence bags handy. He reached into the car and carefully removed the lap robe. “I assume you recognize this?” he asked, and Deidre verified it was Maren’s. One by one they sorted through odds and ends. By the time they were done, they had collected several loose pieces, none of which seemed to be of any significance. The items would be sent to a forensics lab in the hope the abductor had left microscopic clues.
“We’ve dusted the surfaces for fingerprints, but everything has been wiped clean,” Jeff gave them the bad news. “Whoever did this took a lot of time. Even Maren’s prints can’t be found.”
Ben stood stoically beside Megan and Deidre, but he couldn’t help glancing from time to time at the covered headrest. “It doesn’t look like Maren was hit hard enough on the head to have killed her,” Jeff said, wanting to reassure Ben. “There were no hairs stuck to the blood, no tissue of any kind. It seems that her head wound, if that’s what it was, is superficial.” He intentionally used the present tense, indicating she was still alive.
“That’s about it for now, folks. I’ve got a lead or two that I want to follow up on, and I’ll try to get back to you later this afternoon.”
Dave hadn’t joined them and when they came back to him, he finally looked up, obviously not looking back toward Maren’s car. “What did Jeff say?” he wanted to know.
“They’re going to tow her car back to the impoundment lot in town. The deputies will make a more thorough search of the area, and Jeff has a couple of leads he wants to explore. Other than that, we’re going home and try to deal with this. He said he’d call later today.”
“What kind of leads does he have?” Dave blurted out, and then gathered himself. “Does he know anything about where Maren might be?” Ben shook his head.
The ride back was made in silence, and when they got out of the SUV in the driveway, Dave announced that he wanted to go home. He said he was exhausted and would sleep better in his own bed. Everyone exchanged hugs with him, and Deidre told him to come back for supper that night. He said he would.
As Deidre walked through the living room she spotted Dave’s jacket slung over the arm of a chair and picked it up, making a mental note to give it to him when he came for dinner. She found a hanger in their crowded closet and hung it at the end of the rack.
Chapter
Eight
DEIDRE WAS LOOKING in the refrigerator, wondering if she could make anything for lunch that would interest Megan and Ben. She had just given up and closed the door when her cell phone rang, and she noticed on the caller ID that it was from a Two Harbors number. She groaned inwardly but answered. “This is Deidre.”
“Hello, Deidre,” a male voice greeted her. “This is Pastor Ike. Jeff stopped by my office and told me the news about Megan. I’d like to come out and talk to you and Ben if you don’t have any objection. I know you probably don’t know where to turn right now. You don’t have but a sketchy idea of what has happened, and I thought I might be a sympathetic ear you can talk to. I have an appointment in a few minutes but could be at your place by one thirty. If you’d rather be alone, just say so, but I think you can use all the support that can be mustered right now.”
Deidre hesitated, but then, the thought of rambling around the house waiting for Jeff ’s call didn’t sound good either. “Sure, Pastor, I think that will be fine. We’ll be waiting for you.”
Before she could hang up, Pastor Ike had another thought. “You probably don’t have much desire to eat, and I doubt if you feel like cooking meals. May I have your permission to set up a meal delivery service for your family? There’ll be many people wanting to do something for you, and from past experience, there’ll be several volunteers who would like to bring meals to you for the next many days.”
Deidre found herself saying yes without his request really registering in her brain. She hung up, sat down at the table, and stared out the window, seeing nothing, but feeling an empty hole begin to gnaw at her insides. She stepped out on the deck, where Ben was sitting in his favorite chair, just staring. He didn’t bother to look up when Deidre placed her hand on his shoulder. Megan joined them and plunked down in the porch swing. Neither reacted one way or the other when Deidre told them Pastor Ike was coming to see them.
They sat that way for the better part of an hour, each absorbed by their own thoughts. It wasn’t until Pastor Ike swung into their drive and got out of his car that they stirred. Megan sat up, and Ben and Deidre went down the steps to greet him. Deidre noticed he carried a small green book with him, but it didn’t mean anything to her.
They escorted the pastor up the steps and offered him a chair on the deck. “Can I get you anything to drink, Pastor? A soda, coffee?” She found herself relieved when he asked if she had a Diet Coke, and as she made her way to the kitchen to retrieve the drink, she realized it was a moment of normalcy, something she craved. Returning with the full glass, she took a seat beside Ben, and he responded by taking her hand,
“I thought maybe you needed someone to be with you this afternoon,” Ike began. “Have you heard any more from Jeff?”
Deidre shook her head, and Ben mumbled, “No.”
“Not knowing is probably the most difficult part of what’s going on,” the pastor continued. “I’ve had a number of calls from people in the congregation wanting to know what they can do to help. News travels fast in a small town. A few have been the usual busybodies trying to pump me for information, but most just want to help. My wife is arranging for meals to be delivered to you. She’ll bring supper for you tonight, and others will take turns each evening afterward. If you have any questions, contact her.”
“What if we’re gone for a day or two? Can we cancel the delivery?” Deidre realized it was a foolish question, but she was at a loss for what to say. She had never been good at accepting help. Pastor Ike nodded.
“Just call my wife, and she’ll take care of it.”
After several minutes of small talk, the pastor opened the green book he had been carrying. Deidre noticed the gold embossing on the cover, The Lutheran Book of Occasional Services, and she wondered how many occasions like theirs came up.
“I’d like to read to you from the book of Isaiah, the forty-third chapter.” As he began to read, Deidre’s mind drifted to other thoughts, and she was barely cognizant of his words. But somehow one phrase punctured her fog. “When you pass through the waters I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”
The remainder of his reading went unheard. Deidre pictured herself being plucked from a raging tumult, pictured herself in the middle of a forest raging with fire, and she pictured herself wrapped in a shield. She was brought back to reality when she heard Ike ask if he could say a prayer. Why can’t he just talk to me like a friend? Deidre wondered. All I want is for him to tell me how sorry he is, and to admit the situation is out of anybody’s control. All I want are some answers.
No one answered, and the pastor shuffled the pages of his green book. She saw him look down at the pages.
“Almighty an
d merciful God, our only source of calmness and peace: Grant to us, your children, a consciousness of your presence. In our pain, our weariness, and our anxiety, surround us with your care.” He paused before saying “Amen.”
This was the first time in her life that Deidre had actually heard someone pray specifically for her, not a prayer for a miracle, not a prayer for something out of her control, but for her. She wondered what peace and calm would feel like. She wondered if she had ever really been calm and at peace.
Pastor Ike took a small leather-bound case from his pocket and opened it. Inside were four small communion glasses, a canister of wafers, and a vial of wine. “I’d like to serve you communion, if it’s all right.” Ben nodded.
Deidre was taken by the sincerity with which the pastor approached the ritual, and as he distributed the elements he looked directly into each person’s eyes. He placed his hand on each one’s head, and Deidre saw his lips move in silent prayer. For one moment, she felt a wave of peace, and then it vanished as she thought of what had happened.
Pastor Ike stayed a few minutes longer, and then excused himself. Megan decided to take a walk to the family’s picnic spot by the river. Ben said he was going to lie down and close his eyes, and Deidre went out back. The mid-spring flowers in her garden were beginning to bloom. The tulips were almost done, and the peonies were unopened buds, but the irises were in full bloom. She sat in a strategically placed chair and felt totally enveloped by the garden, bowed her head, and wept until tears came no more.
Chapter
Nine
SOMETIME AFTER FIVE O’CLOCK, Pastor Ike’s wife, Estelle, knocked on the door. She was carrying a large basket, and when Deidre answered the knock, she could see it was full and heavy. She invited the woman in, feeling awkward because she hardly knew Estelle’s name.
An Iron Fist, Two Harbors Page 3
