by Blue Saffire
That day, I could read the same reluctance to say more that I’d read in Kwäzē, earlier that morning. It’s like they were asking me for something without asking me. I shook it off as me being a private eyes’ kid. Always looking for something not there.
Dad’s been training us for the business. After school and on weekends, we hang out around the office. It’s pretty much a given that we’ll all help out someday, in one way or another.
We already study up on old cases. Not to mention, the fact that we have mandatory weapons and combat training. Dad’s been taking on more bounties. He wants us all to be able to handle ourselves if ever we get into an altercation, during a bounty collection.
Maybe it’s all that time with Dad at the office that has me trying to see what I’m missing with this girl. There is something I see in her that I don’t see in other girls. It’s more than the fact that she’s gorgeous.
Kamara has secrets. It’s as if she’s living a secret. It’s ingrained in her to be guarded. Others may not notice it, but I see the way she watches her own words. I see the split-second delay in her responses, which indicates that she’s thinking of her answers. Even when it’s something that shouldn’t require a thought.
I see it and it makes me want to protect whatever she’s trying to keep from everyone else. I just can’t help that I want to be on the other end of those secrets. The side that requires her trust.
Only, I know damn well I have no business wanting that. All I can offer Kamara is my friendship. Girls like Kerry are more my speed. With the crook of a finger, Kerry will be whatever I need her to be. Lately, she’s been my distraction from trying to go after my best friend’s sister.
Yet, in this moment, there’s just something about the look in Kamara’s eyes that I can’t resist. I just need to look in those eyes and hear her voice for little while. I’ve seen how hard moving here has been for her. Although, at the moment, I see a new light in her eyes that has my curiosity peeked.
I want to know what put that smile on her face, and that…confidence. Yeah, that’s what’s drawing me in. It’s a confidence I haven’t seen in her before. Sure, Kamara has this thing about her. This natural security in her own skin.
Honestly, most the pretty girls at our school have this false confidence. You can tell they’re acting. All the makeup, clothes, and latest styles, help them pretend to be something they’re not. Not Kamara, she’s awesome in who she is and doesn’t even have a clue. She’s not trying, she just is.
Hearing my name on her lips is almost enough to make my day. What does actually make my day, is when I can’t stop my feet from moving forward. I stop right in front of Kamara and tug at the front of her t-shirt.
I give her a crooked smile, watching her eyes grow wide. I’m taking this too far, but I can’t stop myself. It’s like all the times I’ve wanted to reach out to her, over the last six months, boil over into this very moment.
“I’m doing just great. I love this t-shirt,” I say easily. “Smurfs?”
“Oh, thank you. I think they are adorable. I watch them in the mornings,” I’m thrilled that she’s speaking so freely, I almost want to tug the rest of the words from her mouth, when she clamps it shut.
“Who watches the Smurfs anymore?” Kerry’s voice comes from beside me.
“I used to watch them all the time. I didn’t know they still come on. You’ll have to let me know what channel you’re watching. I’m missing out,” I reply, not looking away from Kamara.
“You guys still going for pizza?” I force myself to look away from Kamara to ask Nellie.
“Yeah, I just asked Kamara to come along with us,” Nellie chirps.
I feel a ping in my chest, knowing Nellie will be moving soon. She’s always been one of my good friends. Nellie can get me to smile when no one else can. She tells it like it is and can be just like one of the guys.
I also hate that Kamara is losing what has the potential to be a good friend. Nellie, Bean, and Kamara can be on the shy side. I think if the three of them weren’t so introverted, they’d all already be friends. Just one more thing I’ve observed.
“Cool,” I murmur. To keep from touching Kamara again, I move to wrap an arm around Nellie’s shoulders. “I’m going to miss you, Kid.”
“Yeah,” Nellie blinks back tears. “You guys don’t even know how much this sucks. I’m going to miss you too.”
“Wait, Toby, I thought you were coming to my place after school,” Kerry pouts.
Fuck, I almost forgot she was standing here. I had planned to drop by her place, before meeting everyone at the pizza parlor. I was planning to let her put that big mouth to work. Fuck.
I hate myself when I see the light vanish from Kamara’s eyes. I promise you, I feel like I’m cheating, as I watch her eyes dim and turn from me. I know it’s stupid to feel that way, but I do.
“Maybe some other time,” I tell Kerry, but it’s too late to correct the damage she’s already caused.
Kerry tugs on my arm to get my attention. I haven’t taken my eyes off of Kamara once. I’ve been well aware of her every reaction this whole time.
I turn towards Kerry slowly, reluctant to take my eyes from Kamara. Kerry has fire in her eyes, but it’s not directed at me. She’s scowling at Kamara. I don’t like it, not one bit.
“You said you were coming over, what changed now?” She snaps at me.
I tug my arm from her grasp. I look at her like she’s crazy. “Dude, did you not just hear me make plans? That’s what changed. I’m going to hang with my friends,” I reply.
Kerry schools her features, painting on a smile and placing a hand on my chest. “I thought I could show you something new later,” she purrs.
“Doubt it,” I snort and brush her arm off my chest. Coach blows the whistle, signaling it’s time for class to start. “I’ll see you guys later. Don’t forget I need that channel, Kamara.”
~B~
Kamara
Today has been a rough day. I went from feeling like I was flying on a cloud, to wanting to go home and climb in my bed for the rest of the school year. I believe Kerry is trying to make my life miserable.
I have a few other classes with her that I do not share with Toby. I enjoy academics immensely. I’ve not shied away from participating in class, until today.
Every time I would answer a question, Kerry would complain she didn’t understand my answer. ‘I can’t understand her,’ she repeated until the other kids in class started to snicker. At that point, I just kept to myself.
I almost didn’t come along to hang out with Nellie and Rebecca. It isn’t easy being the new girl. It has proven ten times harder to be the new girl from Africa, or should I say from New York. I’ve almost slipped several times in my frustration.
I know I have to keep my wits. I have greater responsibilities than silly high school bullies. My father’s voice rings in my ear repeatedly. ‘One day you will understand your purpose.’
I only decided to join the girls because I didn’t want to disappoint Nellie. It was nice of her to ask me here in the first place. I look around the pizza parlor. It is pretty busy.
I reach up, smoothing a hand over my afro puff. I look down at my orange, brown, and green top. My mother made it for me. It is traditional African garb, the fabric is from Nigeria.
It is nothing like the clothes the other kids are wearing. I swallow nervously and look over to the corner where Toby, Felix, Johnathan, and their two younger brothers are standing. I don’t remember the two younger brothers’ names. I’ve only met them a time or two.
All of the Black brothers that I’ve met are gorgeous, but there is something special about Toby, something unique. I don’t know if I can explain it. He brings life to wherever he is.
Even now, all of the girls are trying to get his attention. I look away. They’re all girls not dressed like me. None of them talk like me.
“You like Toby, don’t you,” Heather whispers beside me.
I look over to the olde
r girl, sitting next to me. She is Rebecca’s cousin. From what they have told me, she is a Freshman in college. This is my first time meeting her, but she has been so nice to me.
I’m startled by her observation. I look around to see if anyone else has overheard her words. I bite my lip and look back into Heather’s eyes. She’s waiting for my reply, but I don’t know what to say.
I don’t know if I should trust this girl, but I’m sort of tired of hiding my feelings. I want someone I can share with. I take a breath and decide to try to make a friend. Hopefully, since she isn’t in high school, she may not be a mean girl. I’m hoping her maturity will show. Something about this girl tells me I can share with her.
“Yes, I think he is very handsome,” I whisper and feel my cheeks heat.
“Yeah, they all are. Just be careful. The Blacks have reputations for breaking hearts and leaving trails behind them,” she warns.
“I have heard this,” I nod and look back over to the counter.
“Although, I have to say. Toby is a pretty good guy. If you were going to crush on anyone, he’s a good choice.”
“Who’s a good choice for what,” Nellie asks, pushing up her glasses, after she places a tray of pizza in the center of the table.
My head snaps to Heather, my eyes pleading with her to keep my secret. She gives me a small smile and nod. I breathe a sigh of relief when she answers.
“We were talking about the yearly science fair. Kamara still needs to find a partner,” Heather shrugs.
“Thank God, I’m getting out of that one,” Nellie groans.
“I would have much rather had my partner assigned,” Rebecca huffs, taking the seat next to Nellie.
“Yes, that may have made this easier for me,” I nod.
“It’s bad enough we have the winter formal coming up and its ladies’ choice. I’m convinced they’re trying to embarrass us all this year,” Rebecca sags in her seat.
“I don’t think I have that kind of courage,” I shiver.
All the girls giggle at me. I feel the tension of the day wash away a bit. Nellie slides a slice of pizza in front of me.
“How much do I owe you?” I ask, reaching for my backpack.
“Nothing, Toby paid for it,” Nellie shrugs and tears into her slice.
I feel my heart leap from my chest. I can’t help wondering if he intended to pay for the slice he knew I would eat. I look back towards the front of the shop.
My heart deflates, when I see Kerry and her friends now surrounding Toby. He has a smile on his face, as he talks to them. It is a reminder that I’m nothing like them. I’ll never be anything like those girls.
“Maybe I’m just not ready for boys,” I murmur to myself.
“Huh?” Nellie says with wrinkled brows.
“Nothing,” I say for everyone to hear.
“You’ll be fine,” Heather leans in to whisper in my ear.
Yes, I like Heather. My secret is safe with her. I think she has some of her own. Nonetheless, for now, I know I can trust her with my silly crush.
chapter three
Blacks No Chaser
Toby
Two years later….
“Felix, are you going to get the hell off that phone,” John teases.
“No, he’s probably texting Kaye,” Ry snorts.
“Mind your own fucking business,” Felix growls.
“Whatever,” Ry chuckles.
“Dude, doesn’t she have a boyfriend?” John wrinkles his brow.
I shake my head, as I flex my fingers, John just finished taping. I punch my right hand into my left. When I’m satisfied, I hold my hands out for John to place the lightweight gloves on for me.
“She sure does. I think it’s creepy how he watches her,” Braxton croons.
“Fuck you,” Felix finally pulls his attention away from his screen to glare at Brax.
“Wait, are we talking about Kaye Porter?” Wyatt asks.
“Yup,” Brax laughs.
“Mm,” Wyatt says and shakes his head. “I’ll be minding my own fucking business, for sure.”
“Dude,” Brax calls to me, as he jumps around to loosen up. “Are you going to cover for me this weekend, or what?”
“If you can beat my ass, I’ll cover the phones for you this weekend,” I chuckle at Braxton.
He’s been trying to get me to cover for him at the office all week. He has some hot date or some shit. He’s fifteen going on thirty, in the worse way. With Brax, you never know what he’s up to. I think mom dropped him on his head a few times, when he was a baby.
He’s truly missing a couple of screws. Let’s just face it, Braxton needs help, the professional variety. I think he does crazy shit to drive mom and dad crazy.
I’m not covering shit for him. I know if I do, he’s only going to get his ass in trouble. Nope, I’ll whip his ass and save him from himself. I’d rather protect him than feel like I should’ve later, when he gets his ass into something he can’t get out of.
“Fine, let’s go,” Brax says, with that cocky grin on his face. I plan to knock it right off.
Brax and Ry have shot up a lot in the last year. I’m sure they’ll both pass me soon. Especially, if I stop growing at six-one. I doubt that, but it’s possible. John is nineteen and he seems to have stopped growing at a little under six-two.
I don’t think he’s going to get too much taller. I just passed six feet this year. Brax stands just under me at five-nine. Christ, the kid is fifteen and looks like he could be in my grade.
Doesn’t mean I’m not about to kick his ass. Brax is fast, but not fast enough. I look over to see Wyatt in the corner, watching while on his phone. I puff out my chest. It’s not often I have my big brother home to watch me school the youngins anymore. I’ll have to make this good or Wyatt might kick my ass next.
I roll my shoulders and move backwards, around the ring. I think the gym down in the basement of the office, is my favorite reason for coming here. I get to blow off steam.
I’ve been needing to do a lot of that lately. Things have been…tense. That’s the only word I can give it. The more I try to stay away from Kamara, the more she seems to be around. It’s as if Kwäzē is trying to torture me or something.
Whenever I think it’s going to be just the two of us hanging out, he ends up bringing Kamara along. I get it, they’re twins. I just hate being blindsided when it comes to her. I kid you not, I need time to prepare to be in her presence.
Kamara has always been beautiful, but now. Fuck, I hate those tight ass jeans she wears and those sweet, innocent seeming tank tops that do nothing to hide her breasts, drive me nuts. I mean she has to know she has a sick body.
All of that chocolate brown skin. I’ve imagined over and over that her pussy tastes like Godiva or something delicious like that. I would love to pop one of those full tits into my mouth.
I grit my teeth and swing at Brax, frustrated with my own thoughts. This is what my life has become. I crave a girl I can never have. I changed my sophomore and Junior year schedule, just to be in more of her classes.
The shit I do to be around Kamara could be considered stalking in most States. I’m kind of to the point of not giving a fuck anymore. If all I can get is being close to her, as a friend, I’ll take it. Even though, I want so much more.
“Fuck,” I growl, when Brax catches me with a right hook.
“Focus, Toby, that little shit is going to kick your ass if you don’t pay attention,” Johnathan calls from outside the ring.
I grunt and shake off the punch. Brax hits hard. That shit is going to buzz for a bit. I check back into the fight, pushing my other thoughts to the back of my mind.
“This is going to be a piece of cake,” Braxton gloats.
“Not a chance,” I hiss back.
I throw a combination, landing one to his ribs and another to his jaw. I have to remind him who he’s dealing with. Braxton and Ryan are more evenly matched in the ring. Braxton has a lot more to learn, before he can beat my as
s.
Those two usually have to jump me to get the best of me. I’m not about to pussy out now. Brax staggers back, all teasing and playfulness fade from his face. He is totally serious now. My little brother hates to lose.
Tough shit, kid.
We’re going at it for another ten minutes, when the air in the room shifts. I know right away the reason for it. I’d totally forgot that I’d invited Kwäzē to the office today.
We had plans to hang out, after I finished my training. I don’t have to turn my head to know that he has his twin with him today. I get this same feeling whenever she’s around.
Braxton takes advantage of my sudden shift in focus. He throws a punch and splits my lip. I’ve had enough. I throw a body shot, then take him down to the ground. I know we’re supposed to be sticking to boxing, but there’s no way I’m letting Brax embarrass me in front of Kamara.
As long as she’s in this room, I won’t be able to focus on anything but her. Even now, as I have Braxton in a sleeper hold, my eyes have found her. I feel my chest tighten as we lock eyes.
Amazing, she is just amazing. Kamara seems to grow a half inch for every inch I grow, as if her body is compensating for mine. It’s like she’s meant for me.
Her long brown legs are on display today, in a yellow cotton dress. The dress is perfect against her skin. It makes her look like a chocolate goddess with hues of gold shimmer off her skin. Flawless in a way that can’t be described or duplicated.
Her hair is braided up into one of her ponytail puffs. The ends, loose and wild, like a halo. No, like a crown on top of her head. I’ve grown fond of those ponytails she wears. They’re the perfect complement to her face and long neck.
“Get off, Toby,” Brax gasps.
“Dude, he tapped out. Let go,” Wyatt yells at me.
I curse under my breath, realizing I’ve been caught in a trance. I’m always under her spell. That’s my fucking problem, I need to keep my head around her.
Kamara has this pull on me that takes up all my attention. I have a habit of honing in on her and forgetting everything else. No one has called me on it yet, but I know it’s only a matter of time. Someone is going to see right through me.
