by Layne Harper
“This is Los Angeles. I am not getting photographed holding your hand until you catch me up on your girlfriend situation,” I explain.
He nods his head in agreement. I am fully aware that Clay’s dinner is going to be big for the paparazzi. Not only are the top players in professional football going to be there, but sports writers and actors that are friends of his or associated with his foundation will be there.
As we walk through the lobby my phone rings. I am actually a little excited to get a call. Turns out it’s the salon confirming my appointment in an hour. I look at Colin and tell the salon receptionist, “I have to take care of some business. Can I let you know in thirty minutes?”
He gives me a confused look.
“Your answers to my questions in the next thirty minutes will determine if I spend an obscene amount of money getting ready for this dinner, or if I decide to take care of my own hair and makeup and spend the remaining day reintroducing myself to you over and over again,” I explain to Colin.
His face lights up like a kid on Christmas morning. “Please choose option two.”
We walk out of the hotel and turn right. Colin says that there is a great restaurant that serves breakfast all day approximately two blocks over. That gets my vote of approval.
Fortunately, it’s not too crowded. When the waitress stops by our table, Colin orders for us. “She’ll have coffee black. I’ll have water.”
I smile at him. He now knows how I take my coffee. Score one for Colin. He starts trying to talk again, but I stop him. “What’s my rule?”
“I know. I know. You need more coffee, but I am on the clock,” he pleads.
The waitress sets down my coffee and Colin’s water. I order scrambled eggs with cheese and bacon. Colin raises his eyebrow at me. He orders an egg white omelet.
I take my first sip of coffee, and say, “I’m ready.” I lean back against my chair and prepare to have my heart stomped on all over again.
He starts, “Her name is Sasha Stone.” I nod my head indicating that I know who she is. I can tell that he is nervous. “Well, anyway,” he continues, “she’s an entertainment reporter. She did a story on football hunks, and I was interviewed.” As I look at his face, I know why. He really is just drop dead gorgeous. “She’s a very pretty girl. I’m a single guy. I asked her out to dinner after the interview. She agreed.”
“And,” I prompt, motioning with my hands for him to continue.
“And, we hit it off. She went back to Los Angeles. I got her number and called her. We talked for about two weeks. I invited her to come to a home game. She did, and she stayed at my home,” he says, looking a little panicked.
I obviously can’t get mad, but I would rather think Colin was as chaste as I was, even though I know that’s not the case.
“Go on,” I deadpan.
“We’ve been kind of seeing each other for about six months,” he finishes.
“Are you exclusive?” I ask.
“What does that mean?” he asks.
I shoot him a disgusted look. “You know exactly what I mean. Did you and I cheat on Sasha?”
“We’ve never really discussed it,” he replies.
This is fantastic. I just became my step-mom Carmen. I slept with a man who is in a relationship. I am everything that I hate. I’m furious at myself for not asking the girlfriend question before we went to his room. I’m livid at Colin for putting me in this position. He, of all people, should know how I feel about cheating.
“Okay. Colin, I am not an idiot,” I say as I cross my arms. “You didn’t have condoms; you are in the city where the maybe girlfriend lives… I am going to bet money that she thinks that you are exclusive,” I say with so little emotion that it almost scares me.
“I had condoms ,” he whispers, hanging his head.
Thank God the waitress brings our food at just the right moment and refills my coffee. I need a moment before I say something that I might really regret. I smile and thank her before she walks away.
I take a big drink of coffee and collect my thoughts. I contemplate killing him. I consider pouring my coffee in his lap. It’s hot, and I know that it would hurt… Badly.
Instead, in a low growling voice, I spit, “Let me get this straight. You risked me getting pregnant because you didn’t want to wear a raincoat. This is unbelievable.”
I pick up my fork and dig in to my food. It is so good that even this conversation can’t ruin my appetite. I notice that he hasn’t touched his omelet.
“It’s not like that,” he starts.
“Will then how the fuck is it, Colin?” I cut him off. “You think that it would be a good idea to bring a child into this world with two parents who aren’t even dating? Hell, the father is dating an entertainment reporter.” I state in horror. “Look, I’ll own this. I should have stopped you. I should have demanded that you go purchase protection. Hell, I can take two steps back and say that I should have never gone up to your room. However, what’s done is done. At least I know that if I am pregnant you can’t be too upset about it,” I reason.
Then it hits me. That’s what he wants. If we have a child, he knows that I will have to be tied to him in some way forever. I drop my fork letting it make a loud clank on the plate.
I look up at him. He knows what I am thinking. The look on his face reflects the horror that I am feeling. Charlie would have gotten up and run out of the restaurant. She would have gone up to the hotel room, changed into her running clothes and run twenty miles at that revelation that Colin wouldn’t care that she was knocked up.
Instead Caroline who spent thousands on therapy says, “Do you really want me that badly, Colin? You don’t know me anymore. Do you want to be with the twenty-one-year-old girl you knew, or do you want to be with the twenty-nine-year-old woman who is a partner in a very successful medical practice and doesn’t need your money or your fame to be happy?”
Then he says the words that I was hoping to hear eight years ago, “I’ll take you any way that I can get you.”
My heart does a flip-flop. I am waiting for bells and whistles to come out of the restaurant’s ceiling and circus animals to do their tricks. This is Los Angeles, after all. Colin.Fucking.McKinney just got the right answer.
I finish the rest of my meal and coffee in silence. It is so powerful to hear someone tell you that they need to be with you enough to accept you as you are. The analytical side of me keeps questioning if this is even a healthy relationship to try to start. My therapist will have a field day with this when I see her next week.
“Look Charlie,” Colin pleads. “It’s not like that. Yes. I had condoms, but I don’t necessarily want you pregnant. I just didn’t want to wear one. I wanted to feel all of you and not any barriers between us. Please, don’t be mad at me.”
“I really don’t care how it is. We made a huge mistake. Hopefully, it’s not one that is going to change our lives forever. We were both irresponsible. I’m done discussing this. I’m sure that when I tell my therapist this story, she’ll want to have a chat with both of us,” I conclude.
I get on a plane for Houston tomorrow. I decide to table this portion of the conversation until I have some distance away from him to think. I need to deal with the Sasha situation immediately.
“What did you tell Sasha this morning?” I ask, looking into his eyes. I can (used to be able to) read between the lines by looking in his eyes.
By the look on his face, I am not sure if he would less rather talk about intentionally trying to knock me up or Sasha.
“She asked when she could see me. I told her something came up.” He laughs at his own joke.
I don’t laugh and motion for him to continue.
“I said that the other guys were not bringing dates so I didn’t need her to come anymore. She said that she has already bought a dress and couldn’t return it. I told her that I would pay her back. She got upset with me and started complaining about how little I’ve seen her since the season is over. So I told he
r I would send a car for her,” he concludes.
“Okay. Colin, I am going to ask you a question. I want total honesty. Don’t lie to me. And, please, for the love of God, don’t treat me like I am an idiot,” I state.
He nods his head that he’ll answer my question truthfully.
“If you had not run into me at the reception yesterday, would you have seen Sasha last night or this morning?” I ask, holding my breath waiting for the answer.
“If I had not seen you last night, Charlie, I still would not have gone out with Sasha. She is in to me way more than I am in to her. As for this morning, I would be kicking Clay’s ass all over the golf course right now and making enough money off his ludicrous bets that I could fund a small third world country.” Then, he whispers very quietly, “Charlie it was always you and always will be you.”
With that, I pull out my phone and cancel my appointment at the salon.
The smile on his face while he listens to my conversation with the salon melts my heart. It’s the special smile that he always seems to save for me. Trust me. Even trying to stay away from his press for the last eight years, I never saw the smile that he saved for me.
“Colin, for the record, I am furious that you put me in the position of being the other woman. I should have asked if you were seeing anyone, but you should have told me. It’s not fair to Sasha or me,” I say looking directly into his eyes.
He hangs his head in shame, “I’m so sorry. I just want you to know that it’s not like that. Sasha and I have never talked about a future together. If I saw on TV that she was out on a date with someone else, I wouldn’t care. But, you’re right. I think that she would be upset if she knew that I slept with someone else.”
I let out a sigh. I am not happy about the situation, but I can’t turn back the hands of time. What’s done is done.
He pays our check, and we walk back towards the hotel.
“What’s next?” he asks.
“Well, I have about three hours before I need to start getting ready for the event,” I say.
“Good. That’s what I was hoping you would say,” he says. “Would you like to go for a run?”
“Colin.Fucking.McKinney, are you asking me to run with you?” I tease.
“I guess I am. I’m wondering if you can still kick my ass?” he teases back.
“Care to put a wager on it?” I ask. It does occur to me that people are paid a lot of money to make sure that he is in top cardio shape.
“If I win, you come spend next weekend with me in the place of my choice,” he says.
“Okay. If I win, you have to come to Houston and take me dancing at my favorite club,” I propose.
I take it as a good sign that we are making plans for next weekend.
When we arrive at the hotel, we go to our separate rooms to get changed. If I had known that he was going to propose a run, I would have eaten a lot lighter meal. Maybe that was his strategy.
As I am pulling my hair into a high ponytail, he knocks on my door. I yell, “Just a minute, Colin,” and finish my running ‘do.
I open the door and am shocked to see my dad standing there. I shouldn’t have been. He is staying three doors down from me. “Hi Dad. Sorry! I thought you were someone else. Come in.”
I notice that he looks tanner. He must have picked up some sun during golf. “Headed somewhere, Caroline?”
“Yes. I was just going for a run before I have to start getting ready for tonight,” I explain.
“Who are you going with?” He knows exactly who I am going with. He just wants to make me say it.
“Colin. Why?” I ask.
“Did you have a chance to talk last night?” my dad says, glancing at my room that doesn’t look like it has been touched. He is brilliant. He knows exactly what I did. Either housekeeping is efficient, or I didn’t sleep in my bed last night.
“Cut to the chase, Dad,” I say, preparing myself for a trademarked Doctor Jack Collins lecture.
“He broke your heart and put you in therapy. I am frankly very concerned. You aren’t just my daughter; you are also my business partner.” I’ll give him that. He does have more of a reason to meddle than most parents.
“Dad, Colin and I separating was the catalyst that made me seek help. Our relationship was solid. I wanted to go to Harvard. We were young and decided that we didn’t want to do the long distance thing especially when Dallas owned him eight months of the year. We are now both adults who want to see if we can have a second chance. Does that make sense?” I reason.
He gives me a kiss on my cheek and says, “It does make sense. However, I am watching you like a hawk. I will step in if I think that you are slipping back into bad habits or if this relationship is hurting the practice.”
“Fair enough, Daddy.” I’m not sure where “Daddy” came from, but it’s a rather useful term of endearment sometimes. He smiles and walks out of my room.
I wonder where Colin is and realize that I don’t even have his phone number. That’s sort of pathetic. As I am contemplating going up to his room, I hear a knock on my door. I open it, and he is standing there in the same running shorts from last night and my T-shirt from this morning.
I can’t help it. I launch myself at him kissing his mouth. Our tongues begin their dance and desire passes between us. He pulls back first, breaking our kiss. “Stop this. I want to win my bet,” he exclaims.
God, he knows me so well. He knows how competitive I am, and I will never let him win.
He starts kneading my breasts through my sports bra. “Say I win, and I’ll spend the next two and half hours making you scream.”
Fine, two can play at this game. I drop to my knees in front of him, calling his bluff. “Say I win the bet and I’ll give you my personal best, record breaking, mind-blowing blow job.”
“We are so fucking pathetic,” he says. “Let’s go.”
I smile and follow him out the door. I hand him my phone when we are in the elevator. “It’s rude to fuck someone and not even give them your phone number.”
“Thank goodness, I am not a rude guy. My number is in your phone. I added your number to mine when you were in the shower,” he says. “By the way, what we did was not fucking. Don’t cheapen it, Caroline.”
I choose to ignore his comment about my terminology. “Wow! That’s a relief,” I smirk. “Do you have a route mapped out for us?”
“Sure,” he says, way too confidently.
I have a sneaky suspicion that I made a deal with the devil.
We step out into the beautiful Los Angeles sun. It’s a glorious seventy-four degree day with low humidity. I was made to run in this weather. He gets in line for a town car.
“We’re driving to run?” I ask in confusion.
He nods his head, flashing me his Colin half smile. I blindly get in the town car with him trusting that he knows what he is doing.
“How far are you running now?” he asks.
“I run between eight and ten miles every morning. On the weekends, I like to bike. I’ve pretty much quit swimming because my access to a pool is limited,” I explain.
“I have a pool at the McMansion,” he says with a smirk.
“Of course, you do. Any McMansion comes equipped with a pool,” I reply sweetly.
“Clay suggested Malibu Creek State Park,” he says. “They are supposed to have great running trails.”
“Are we running for speed then?” I ask. I need to know exactly what I need to do to beat him.
“I think we are going for endurance,” he says with a huge smile on his face.
We turn into the park, and I see why Colin said that we were running for endurance. We are running in the mountains. Although they are probably hills to people who grew up in the rest of the country. I have run on nothing but the flat plains of Texas for the last two years. I’m hoping that my biking will help me with the incline.
Colin asks the driver to wait for us. He just shrugs. What does he care, he’s on the clock.
&nbs
p; Colin and I begin to stretch.
Colin starts his trash talking. “Say that I win our bet, and instead of punishing ourselves we can find a secluded spot and have crazy outdoor sex,” he says, smiling at me.
I hate being taunted. “Great idea. You admit that you’re scared of me and crazy outdoor sex is yours.”
“Charlie, I am fucking terrified of you.” He is all of sudden serious, and I know that we aren’t talking about our run. His face becomes so pained that I stand up and walk over to him.
I kneel down beside him and wrap my arms around his neck. He grabs me and pulls me into his lap. “I never again want to feel the kind of pain that I felt when I drove away from your apartment. My mom kept telling me that with time it would get easier. You know what, Charlie? It didn’t. My heart just became calloused, but the hurt stayed. Seeing you again and knowing that you still have strong feelings for me has given me hope again. You can’t leave me, Charlie. I don’t know if I can survive it again,” he pleads.
The tears are streaming down my face. All I can do is nod my head in agreement. I understand completely because that’s how I feel about him.
“I don’t know if I can let you get on the plane tomorrow,” he continues. “I’m afraid that you’ll forget how good it feels to be together, and you will not let me back in your life.”
Confession time is killing me. I can’t believe that he feels this way about me after all these years. I keep feeling like I am in a movie knowing that this doesn’t happen in real life.
My heart is aching seeing him like this. I suffered when we broke up, but I went through therapy. I realize in that moment that I might have gotten the easier of the two roads. “I’ll break one of my biggest rules and let you win your bet. I’ll go wherever you want me to go next weekend. Hell, you can even come back to Houston with me tomorrow if you want. I will not forget, Colin. I promise,” I say as I plant small kisses on his forehead and down his face paying extra special attention to his crooked nose.
He holds on to me so tightly that it is almost painful. “If I tell you that I still love you, will you feel overwhelmed?” he asks me very seriously.
