by Brie Paisley
“No, I just … It’s going to be awkward enough and I’d like to find a place I’m comfortable with.” I don’t dare mention that this conversation is also making me feel awkward.
“How about a compromise? You’ll try out the place I’ve recommended and if it isn’t to your liking, you can find a place of your own.”
“Alright.”
“As far as making payments on the house and car, we can set something up at a further date after you start.” I nod agreeing with that. I feel better about adding that part in. I don’t feel like I’m taking advantage of his offer.
We both go quiet and I look around trying not to look at him. This meeting is something I never saw myself doing. I had no idea I would ever be in this situation and I can only hope I’m doing the right thing. I still don’t understand why out of all the million other girls, Viktor chose me for this. I guess I should take it as a compliment, but at the same time, I know I have to keep my guard up. For all I know he could be using this as some sort of opportunity. What that opportunity would be, I have no clue.
“When do you want to start?” he asks me and I have to look back at him. I think about it for a few minutes, trying to give myself enough time to get my body back in shape and for moving.
“Let’s say in three months.”
“Three months it is. I’ll revise the contract, and I’ll send for you and Gabbie next week.”
“Wait, you want us to move to Nashville in a week?”
“Is that going to be a problem?”
Well fuck, I guess I don’t have a choice. I might not have signed the contract yet, but I have a feeling Viktor won’t change his mind about this.
“I … I guess it’s fine. I just thought I would have more time with mom and dad.”
“Nashville is only an hour away. I’m sure they will understand.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“As far as what to tell your parents, work wise, you can tell them you’re coming to work for me. Tell them I own my own contracting company and you do the filing and other secretary work. They won’t think much of that.”
I nod my head. I really don’t know much about jobs, so I have to trust that he knows what he’s talking about.
“I have to say, I’m impressed you took so much time to think this through. Most people would’ve just said yes.”
I smirk at his revelation. “I’m not most people. I know, but it’s not just me anymore. I hope you know if I didn’t have Gabriella, I would have never said yes to this. I highly doubt you and I would’ve even crossed paths.” Viktor looks down at his watch and then back to me. I don’t know if my comment rubs him the wrong way or not.
“I have to head back. I’ll see you next week.” Viktor says as he gets up and just as quickly as he walked into the café, he walks out.
I watch him as he walks outside and gets in his car. I lean back in my chair wondering what just happened. Did I say the wrong thing? I still have no idea if I’ve made the right choice or not. I have no idea how my parents are going to react to Gabbie and I leaving. I think they’ll understand, and maybe they can still come watch Gabbie when I actually start … dancing. I refuse to say stripping. I’m not comfortable in my own skin, and how in the world am I going to take my clothes off for random people is something I need to work on.
I get up and grab my bag. I walk out of the café and start the walk home. Mom begged me to take her car, but I knew I would need time to clear my head after the meeting with Viktor. Plus, it wasn’t that far from home.
There’s so much going on in my head. The things I’ve agreed to … will they change me as a person? I’d like to think I like myself the way I am. But ever since Viktor Matvei came into my life, I’ve been second guessing that. Maybe being someone else while working for Viktor will be good for me. If I could be like that dancer I saw the night I watched at the club, well, I think I would at least be more of a confident person. I remember her moving to the beat of the music and the way her body looked so amazing. It takes a lot of confidence to go up on stage and lay it all out for everyone to see. If anything, that chick earned my respect.
As I walk back home, I also think about things between Viktor and I. Will things change between us? Will he still come to see Gabbie? Now that I’m about to be his employee, I figure in three months it could possibly be the last time I see him outside of work. The thought makes my heart clench a little. I think I’ve grown to like Viktor, but I want to tell myself it’s only because he helped me and Gabbie. I refuse to let it be more than that.
Malcolm also pops in my head. I don’t want to think about him, but I think I need to. Keeping what he did to me fresh in my mind makes it easier to keep out anyone else trying to get close to me. I might one day forgive Malcolm, but I doubt it’ll be any time soon. I wonder what he would think if he knew what I had to do to survive. I can’t keep depending on my parents for everything. I know they won’t mind, but I can’t do that to them. They have worked so hard for years taking care of me, and I don’t think it’s right for them to have to do it again.
I really worry about being alone with Gabbie. I’ve used my mom too much as a crutch. She’s helped me so much since Gabbie was born. I honestly don’t know how I could’ve taken care of Gabbie without my mom after I got home from the hospital. I was so sore and so doped up on pain meds that first week. I had no idea how bad having a baby was going to be on my small body. I didn’t think I was ever going to get better. My mom was amazing though. She’s seen things and helped me do things no mother should have to do. But she never complained and she told me more than once to stop telling her how sorry I was about this whole situation. At times I still feel the guilt of getting pregnant so early in life, but at the same time I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.
Gabbie’s my everything. And I will do anything and everything I can to make sure she has the best life possible. No matter what I have to do.
One week later
“Ava, where are the glasses?”
“Third cabinet on the right, mom.”
“Oh I found them!”
I shake my head. I’ve told her three times where the glasses are. I look down at my sweet girl, smile, and tickle her belly. She coos and smiles at me. I pick her up and walk into the kitchen to see what mom’s up to.
This is the third time since Viktor moved us to Nashville that mom has been here. Dad had to work today, but I know if he was off he would’ve been here. My parents took the news of Gabbie and I moving better than I thought they would have. Both were excited for me and my new job. I felt horrible for having to lie to them, but I wasn’t about to tell them what I planned on doing.
And I have to give Viktor some credit. He found the perfect house for Gabbie and me. It’s only thirty minute drive from the club, which I like. It’ll help keeping that life separate from my real one. And even though we live in the city, I have a big back yard with an oak tree. When Gabbie is old enough, I plan to put a swing out there for her.
I really do love my new home. The outside is a tan color and has a white porch. As soon as you walk in, you can see the modern kitchen with the island and the living room to the right. I love how open it is. I have a basement that I still have no idea what to do with, the upstairs has three rooms, and I have a huge laundry room. The inside of the house is very warm and inviting. The fireplace dominates the living room. The upstairs rooms all look the same, except the master and its bathroom. Those two rooms are my favorite. I can see myself staying in this house for some time and I should probably tell Viktor how much I appreciate him finding it for me.
I haven’t seen Viktor in almost four days. I don’t want to miss him, and wish he was here. At least with moving and getting everything ready with the new house, we really haven’t had time to talk or anything else. I’m glad I’ve been busy and haven’t had time to think about him and how much I’ve grown to like him, or how much I’ve gotten used to seeing him all the time. He normally comes over to see Gabbie
and honestly he has been very helpful. When he comes over, I can get twice as much done and it’s a nice to be able to go soak in my garden bath tub while he watches her. Viktor doesn’t really have a set time when he comes. That man pops in and out whenever he wants. I guess he has that right. He did buy this house. And my new car, at least until I can pay him back for it all. It still feel all sorts of wrong by letting him do all this for me. Even if the house and car are in the contract.
“Ava, is Viktor coming by today? I still need to thank him for doing all this for you and Gabbie.”
“I don’t know, mom. Viktor … well, he comes and goes when he wants.”
“You two wouldn’t happen to be talking bad about me would you now?”
I jump and turn to see Viktor walking inside. My face turns bright red and I turn around trying to make it seem like I’m busy with Gabbie.
“Oh, Viktor! How can I ever thank you for taking such good care of my girls?” Mom says to him. She even goes over to him and gives him a kiss on his cheek. I pretend not to notice how he smiles at her.
“It’s really not a problem, Mrs. Walker.”
“I think you can call me Ella, Viktor.”
I step forward and give Gabbie a jiggle. “Mom, can you take Gabbie upstairs for her nap?”
“Yes, honey. I’ll leave you two to talk,” mom says as she winks at me and turns to go upstairs with Gabbie.
I roll my eyes at her and stick my hands in my back pockets of my jeans. I wanted to tell Viktor how much I’m grateful for all he has done, but I can’t seem to find my words around him. It never fails. And it’s frustrating as hell knowing he has this effect on me.
“The house looks great. Everything to your liking?”
“Of course. Mom has helped as much as she can. I don’t think she likes us not being home all the time.” We fall into an awkward silence and I look down at my bare feet. Shit. I should’ve painted my toe nails last night. I hope Viktor doesn’t see my unpainted toes.
“I won’t stay long. I just wanted to come by and see how things were and to give you this,” he says as he walks closer to me and hands me two envelopes.
“What’s this?” I ask him.
“It’s the new contract and the bonus you asked for. Look the contract over and let me know if anything needs to be changed. My cell and the club’s number are in there as well, in case you need me before I see you again.”
I look at the envelopes in my hand and for a second I regret asking so much from him. But then, I decide I don’t need to feel anything. I’m doing all this for Gabbie.
“Thank you. For everything I mean.”
He nods and he starts to walk even closer to me, but then he stops. As he sighs he turns away from me and walks right out the door. Well that was weird. I stare at the door, wondering what that was about. I shake my head and look down at the envelopes he gave me.
I take what Viktor brought and I place it on the kitchen island. I sit on one of the stools and I open the one with the contract inside. I probably shouldn’t look at it now while mom’s here, but curiosity gets the better of me. I quickly look it over, keeping an eye out in case mom approaches. This whole lie will be blown if she catches me. From what I see, Viktor changed everything we discussed that day at the café. I hear mom walking down the stairs and I quickly jump up and hide the envelopes in the box by the kitchen island.
“Did Viktor leave already?” she says while looking towards the door.
“Yeah, he had things to do.”
“That’s a shame,” she says with a huff. “He didn’t see Gabbie today.”
“It’s fine, mom. It’s not like Gabbie is his.”
“Ava, that isn’t very nice. You know he adores Gabbie.”
I sigh as I tell her, “I know, mom. But don’t you think it’s strange he’s always around?”
“No, not really. He saved you and Gabbie, and I think he feels sort of responsible for you two. I like that you have someone like him watching over you. Especially now that you moved away from me.”
I walk over and hug my mom. I know how she feels. I miss her too, and it’s hard not seeing her everyday anymore.
“You know I love you right?”
“I love you too, Ava. I should head back. Your dad will be home soon, and you know he can’t cook a thing for himself.”
“Okay, mom. Be safe driving.”
Mom grabs her things and she kisses me on my cheek one last time before she leaves. I sigh, hating how quiet the house is now that mom’s gone, and Gabbie is asleep. I lock the front door and I walk upstairs to grab the baby monitor. I check in on my sleeping beauty and I go to my room to relax.
I grab my notebook off the night stand and I place the baby monitor beside me. Since the house is pretty much finished, and set up, I need to work on getting myself back into shape to dance again. I mark down all the daily workouts I need to do to start the process. I know my body will never fully go back to the way it was before, but I figure as long as I can still dance it doesn’t matter to me as much.
I just about jump out of my skin when the house phone starts ringing. I snatch it off the hook, hoping it didn’t wake up Gabbie. I don’t know who would be calling me, since no one knows my number besides my parents and Viktor.
“Hello?” I ask confused as hell.
“Ava, open the door.”
Hearing Viktor’s voice over the phone shouldn’t sound so … sexy to me. “What? Are you outside?” I ask as I get up and check in on Gabbie. Seeing she’s still asleep, I walk down the stairs and I look out the window by the front door.
“Ava? Let me in.”
“Give me a second. Geesh.” I hang up the phone as I unlock the door. Viktor walks in like he owns the place, and even though he does, I don’t really appreciate him walking in here and almost waking up Gabbie. “What are you doing here? Didn’t you just leave?”
“I forgot something.”
“Uh, okay. What did you forget?”
“This,” he says as he walks to me like he’s stalking his prey.
It all happens so fast I don’t have time to figure out what he’s doing before he does it. He grabs both sides of my face and he … he kisses me.
And I let him.
God, help me, I let him kiss me. I moan in his mouth when I open mine for him. His tongue touches mine and I can’t help but wrap my arms around his neck to bring him closer as I stand on my tip toes to get a better angle. I let him take over my mouth with his. He kisses me with so much passion and hunger. His taste is intoxicating and I fear I’ll never get enough. His kiss is as demanding and controlling as he is. I feel his hands move down from my face and one rests on my lower back as the other grabs a handful of my hair. He angles my face just how he wants me, controlling everything about our unexpected kiss. It’s everything I’ve imagined, yet more at the same time. I like him kissing me, taking over my body, and controlling me. He slowly pulls away, but I instantly pull him back for more. I’m a woman obsessed. I need more of his taste, his controlling ways. I will never get enough of him.
Then, the spell is broken when I hear Gabbie cry out loudly. I pull away from him just a fast as he came on to me. I look at him and touch my fingers to my lips. His dark green eyes are full of want and… lust? I have no idea. I’ve never seen that look on a man before. I don’t even say anything to him before I completely pull away and take off upstairs to Gabbie.
I walk into her nursery and pick her up. I rock her back and forth trying to get her to stop crying, all the while thinking about Viktor and the way he kissed me. My heart is still racing, and I know I crossed a line. How could I let him kiss me? Why did I kiss him back? Conflicted and confused doesn’t even touch how I feel about it. And, why do I feel the want and need to do it again and again? I bounce Gabbie up and down trying to put my mind at ease. I had no idea Viktor wanted to kiss me, or at least I don’t think he did. Gabbie’s cries start to stop and as I lay her down, I worry if I’ve made another mistake kissing him back.
What the fuck did I just let happen?
Three months later
Things have been weird since Viktor kissed me. I’ll admit, I freaked out about it, and when he left while I was tending to Gabbie, I got the contract and I signed it. The next day, I gave it to him before he could say anything about the kiss. I still haven’t figured out if he was hurt or disappointed that I signed it three months early. I just couldn’t deal with him kissing me again, knowing how conflicted I am about it. Signing the contract insured me that he wouldn’t be able to touch me again until my two years were up.
I wait impatiently on the couch for Viktor to come and watch Gabbie while I do my daily workout. He’s been very supportive and he’s quite the babysitter. There’s not a moment that goes by that Viktor doesn’t give her his full attention. After I gave him back the contract I asked him to watch Gabbie while I did my workout, and it’s now become our normal routine. Every day he comes and spends two hours with her while I go to the gym or to the local dance studio. I don’t even have to ask him anymore. The best thing about it is I don’t have to pay for a babysitter, and I trust Viktor with her. I’ve watched him a few times with her and he’s proven how great he is at watching her, and taking care of her every need. She cries and he doesn’t hesitate to see why she’s crying. He feeds her and holds her pretty much the entire time he’s here. I’ve also noticed he looks at her the way my parents and I do. I know he cares for her, even if she technically isn’t his. I feel better about leaving Gabbie with him since he’s so great with her and Gabbie loves him. He’s over so much that I decided to give him a house key. I thought about it for a few days before I had one made. I still haven’t figured out why he didn’t have one when he bought the house. I remember seeing the look in his eyes when I gave it to him. I might not fully trust him with my feelings, but I trust him enough around my daughter, and I think he realized that too.
It makes me sad seeing how much Gabbie has grown in the past few months. She can roll over, and hold her little head up all on her own. She’s starting to show her sassy personality as well. I know she’s going to be a hand full when she gets older. I hear her making grunting noises from her pack and play and I get up to see what she’s doing. I lean over and she’s going to town on her toes. That’s her newest thing these days. I have no clue why she likes to eat her feet, but it’s totally cute watching her do it.
